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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24562066">Not by blood</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dorthea/pseuds/Dorthea'>Dorthea</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>A Part of the journey is the end [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Adopted Peter Parker, Adoption, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Avengers Family, Bruce Banner Is a Good Bro, Canon Divergence - Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Character Death, Christmas, Coma, Dead May Parker (Spider-Man), Depressed Peter Parker, Dissociation, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Eating Disorders, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Endgame, Fainting, Flash Thompson Bullies Peter Parker, Flashbacks, Forgiveness, Funeral, Genius Peter Parker, Hurt Peter Parker, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Suicide, May Parker (Spider-Man) Dies, Mentioned Ben Parker, Mentioned May Parker (Spider-Man), Minor Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Non-Consensual Touching, Not Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Panic Attacks, Past Rape/Non-con, Peter Parker &amp; Natasha Romanov Friendship, Peter Parker Gets a Hug, Peter Parker Has Panic Attacks, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker Whump, Peter Parker is a Mess, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Post-Spider-Man: Homecoming, Precious Peter Parker, Protective Bruce Banner, Protective Happy Hogan, Protective Natasha Romanov, Protective Peter Parker, Protective Tony Stark, Rape, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sad Peter Parker, Spidey Sense (Marvel), Therapy, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Has Trust Issues, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Underage Rape/Non-con</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 02:48:59</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>42</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>85,795</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24562066</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dorthea/pseuds/Dorthea</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Ever since Peter had been bitten, by the radioactive Spider, he had lived with the Spidey-sense.<br/>He was used to it alerting him of incoming danger. Whether that was again't him or again't his friends.<br/>So when it's triggered in the small Queen's apartment one night, and May collapsed, Peter know's things about to change.<br/>The rough's return, Flash become an alley, Skip is released from prison.<br/>But all that, is just the begin.<br/>Because Peter can hear it... He could sense every heartbeat, every location, of every animal in forest, every human in new york, all by focusing his Spidey-sense. But focusing out, future and future, he could hear something coming.<br/>And with a beat it’s quiet.<br/>That night, The Endgame was stared...<br/>But with the Avengers trust problems, would they be able to stop it?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Happy Hogan &amp; Peter Parker, Happy Hogan/May Parker (Spider-Man), James "Bucky" Barnes &amp; Peter Parker, May Parker (Spider-Man) &amp; Peter Parker, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Peter Parker &amp; Flash Thompson, Peter Parker &amp; James "Rhodey" Rhodes, Peter Parker &amp; Natasha Romanov, Peter Parker &amp; Pepper Potts, Peter Parker &amp; Thanos, Peter Parker &amp; Tony Stark</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>A Part of the journey is the end [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1775335</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>346</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>563</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>A lire, Irondad Creators Awards 2021 - Nominations</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Aspire to inspire before you expire</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I was left with a feeling that I had some good options for a future story in this fanfiction world.<br/>If you haven't read the first part I would recommend you do that, or you might not understand parts of the plot. It can be found under the name of "5 times Peter Parker ignores Flash and 1 time he didn’t" or on this link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24223072/chapters/58358971<br/>Part's of this is based on my own experiences, some of it is guesswork. But EVERYTHING; and I mean EVERYTHING is things I have read about, and even gone to read about purely because of this fanfic. Because of my ideas. So, that's that.<br/>I hope you'll enjoy.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Peter and Flash had just finished one of the Star Wars movies when his spidey-sense send light vibration down his neck and spine, alerting him of… well Peter weren’t sure what it was alerting him off.<br/>
<br/>
Peter was used to his spidey-sense screaming ‘DANGER!’ at him when someone was about to attack him, or ‘RUN!’ if he didn’t have a chance against whatever threat was closing in. It took form of vibration, the more pronounced, the bigger the danger. Earlier that night it had been different, a more like a buzzing. He now knew it had been alerting him to Flash on the roof, and Peter would now always been extra careful listening to the buzzing in the base of his skull. Suicide was a permanent thing. And yes, he did saw Flash that night, but he had failed other people. Seeing their body hit the ground, and the blood splattered across walls, gun laying by their side. Peter really didn’t want to think about that.<br/>
<br/>
This time it weren’t the vibrations or the buzzing though, it could only be described as a light ting. Almost nonexistence. But at the same time alerting him to…<br/>
<br/>
… May’s bedroom?<br/>
<br/>
After the hit and run, were Peter had stayed with Rhodey and Tony for a few days, May had gone home with strict order to rest. She was mostly unharmed, a slight headache, some bruises, but that was it. She was fine, alert. She was supposed to go back to work that following Monday.<br/>
<br/>
So why was his spidey-sense telling him something different, and why now? Why not when she returned home from the hospital? Or at the hospital after the hit and run? Why now?<br/>
<br/>
Flash has notice Peter’s sudden silence, and is looking at him with - is that worry? That’s really the last thing Peter had expected from his, he guesses now former bully. Because Peter dose believe that Flash has changed. Peter is about to get up from the couch and go check on May when May’s bedroom door opens. She is swaying slightly on her feet as she supports herself against the wall. Peter shots up, quickly get’s the May side but she brushes him off.<br/>
<br/>
“I’m fine Peter. Just a little di-“ she cuts herself up. Peter can see her face turn slightly green, and before he knows it May is throwing up all over the wooden floor in the hallway. Peter supports her so she doesn’t tip over, he makes sure her hair is out of the way, and carefully rubs her down the back. When she’s done, he helps her to a chair in the kitchen. Placing a glass of water in her hands, before mopping of the vomit.<br/>
<br/>
Flash who, as meet May a time or two had found a bucket and has placed it on the floor next to May as he sit on a chair on the opposite side of the table to May. It’s a giant help, Peter isn’t sure that with everything else, he’d be able to deal with this alone. Cause May is supposed to be the strong one.<br/>
<br/>
At that’s how it used to be. When Peter lost his parents May was the one to hug Peter close as Ben cried over the lose of his brother. May was the one to make sure the adoption papers were signed, and that Peter was feed. May had been the one to catch him when he fainted on the stairs after not eating in six day. And when he woke up in the hospital, being terrified, with an I.V. in his arm, May had been sitting right there next to him.<br/>
<br/>
When Ben died, May lost her husband. Peter knew for a fact May had a hard time, they suddenly had a smaller income, May had to work more. She was sad and grieving. Yet she made time for him, making sure he was okay. He was the one that had hold Ben as he bleed out, yes. But May was he one to keep life together in the hard times. Supporting Peter as he could barely keep food down for days, and desperately “Ensure plus” down his throat between anxiety attacks.<br/>
<br/>
And when the car had hit May only a few weeks ago, when Peter and Rhodey saw her in the hospital. May wasn’t worried about herself, she was worried about Peter. Before they had left, she had even warned Rhodey about the eating issues, about how he reacted to pressure. Peter wasn’t sure if May knew that he knew, but he did. Enhance hearing and all.<br/>
<br/>
But this, May suddenly taking a turn, throwing up, clearing having a headache, and swaying on her feet. That’s not the May Peter knows. And right now, the roles and turned around, Peter had to be the strong one, the one to act. He had shortly forgotten about his spidey-sense as he cleans up the vomit, but returning to the kitchen, seeing May turn pale, reminds him that he knows something bad is about to go down. He just can’t figure out what.<br/>
<br/>
He moves closer to May, takes the glass out of her hands, she’s shaking. He doesn’t want the glass to fall the floor, break into a million pieces. He can’t do that right now. He sends Flash an apologetic smile, a careful one. Flash shrugs it off, takes the glass and cleans it up before retreating into the living room area.<br/>
<br/>
“May, what’s wrong?” Peter askes, keeping his voice soft and low, scared that he might make her headache worse. May looks at him with glazed eyes.<br/>
<br/>
“I’… fin’e Peter” May slurs out. Slurs being the important words. And when Peter looks closely, he can see the May’s face is hanging slightly at the right side.<br/>
<br/>
Peter lists the symptoms in his head: Dizziness, swaying, shaking hands, vomiting, slurred speech, paralysis of the right side of her face, and she seems sensitive making Peter guess headache. While some of it could be brushes off as normal sickness, hell, most of it can. Peter knows that’s not the case. But before he can say that out loud, May sways and fall of the chair and to the ground.<br/>
<br/>
Peter grabs her, carefully lays her down on the kitchen floor, pulling off his hoodie and placing it under her head. Before taking a deep breath, he knows what to do, how to do it. He knows to call 911, he knows how to do CPR if it comes to that. But for a moment he’s frozen. What snaps him out of it, is Flash’s voice, and a hand carefully being placed on his shoulder. Flash is on the phone.<br/>
<br/>
“She just fainted. She was throwing up around, 5 minutes ago, swaying on her legs” he says to whoever his talking to. A hospital Peter guesses, and Peter is grateful that Flash takes control. Even if a part of Peter screams at him, telling him that it’s his aunt, he should be the one to make the call. To explain the symptoms. His Spider-man for crying out loud. But he can’t use that for anything right now. Right now his just weak, small, Peter Parker. </p><p>
  <em>It’s your fault!<br/>
<br/>
“PETER!” Ben’s voice echoes in his head, he looks back to the shop scanning the street for the source of the voice.<br/>
<br/>
And there, right there. Standing next to the old car is Ben standing. Waving at him. His eyes begging Peter to turn around, come back home to him and May. And Peter wants to walk over, hug Ben close and tell him ‘I’m sorry!’, but he can’t. He is A MONSTER now.<br/>
<br/>
A Monster.<br/>
<br/>
Weak.<br/>
<br/>
Stupid.<br/>
<br/>
Small.<br/>
<br/>
MONSTER!<br/>
<br/>
And then the loud bang echoes through the street.<br/>
<br/>
Peter isn’t sure were it comes from right away; his ears are ringing. His newly enhance sense are all over the place, and wont focus.<br/>
<br/>
Before Peter knows is his on his knees, holding Ben in his arms, crying.<br/>
<br/>
“It’s going to be okay”.<br/>
<br/>
“Please don’t go Uncle Ben, please don’t go!”.<br/>
<br/>
“Somebody call an ambulance”<br/>
<br/>
“Ben don’t go”<br/>
<br/>
Ben’s eyes are dark, all the lightly slowly leaving them.<br/>
<br/>
The read liquid is running out of his body to fast for anyone to do anything. Peter knows that, as he put’s pressure and the bullet wound anyways. Knowing that he can’t stop the inevitable.<br/>
<br/>
“Peter” Ben voice is small, almost not there. Peter only hears him because of his powers. He looks up away from the wound. He meets Ben’s gaze.<br/>
<br/>
“You did good kid” Ben says “keep doing good”.<br/>
<br/>
“I promise” Peter whisper.<br/>
<br/>
The last life leaves Ben’s body.<br/>
<br/>
Peter’s hands are covered in his blood.<br/>
<br/>
And suddenly big, strong hands are placing on his shoulders, pulling him away from the lifeless, cold body. That was once his Uncle Ben.<br/>
<br/>
Someone’s talking to him. But Peter doesn’t hear it.<br/>
<br/>
Someone’s placing something over his shoulder’s. Peter doesn’t feel it.<br/>
<br/>
His crying. But his not.<br/>
<br/>
At least until May’s sitting in front of him, in the hospital room. Pulling him close, grounding him. Smiling at him. Whispering reassuring words to him.<br/>
<br/>
And suddenly a different voice joins in.<br/>
<br/>
Ben.<br/>
<br/>
“With great power, comes great responsibility” he says before his gone again.<br/>
<br/>
Peter cries, silently into May’s shoulder.<br/>
<br/>
“I’ll use it for good” Peter promises under his breath.<br/>
<br/>
That’s what Ben would have wanted.</em>
</p><p>At some point during the ride in the ambulance, Peter becomes a little more aware. His sitting in the back, a blanket is securely placed over his shoulders. It soft and warm.  Peter head is resting on someone’s shoulder, it doesn’t take long for him to realize that it’s Flash. Peter’s sitting almost glued to Flash’s side. Flash had his arm dropped over Peter’s shoulders too, squeezing him tight.<br/>
<br/>
In front of his, preventing Peter from seeing May is one of the first responders. Hovering over May’s body, which is connected to different monitors. He can hear them, just like he can hear May’s slowly heartbeat and shallow breaths.<br/>
<br/>
The ride to the hospital is fast. Combined with what Peter guesses to be shock and dissociation, as him falling asleep against Flash’s shoulder, he isn’t actually sure how long it took. But it didn’t feel like long at all.<br/>
<br/>
Now he finds himself in the waiting room. May is having emergency surgery. Flash is sitting in a chair next to Peter waiting for his father to pick him up. They doesn’t speak, Peter isn’t sure he can without breaking. The smell of hospital is stuck in his nose, the plastic chair under him is hard. It the hospital were May usually works. Peter knows, cause one of May’s close colleagues stopped by what Peter guesses to be half an hour ago, with hot chocolate for him and Flash. Flash’s Styrofoam cup is empty, laying at the top of an overfilled trashcan. Peter cup is standing on a table, still full. It isn’t steaming anymore, but he is pretty sure it’s still at least slightly warm. At least warmer than the water in the automate in the other end of the waiting room.<br/>
<br/>
Right now it’s just him and Flash, but earlier someone else was there too. Peter distantly remember them crying. Them, likely having been told their loved one didn’t make it.<br/>
<br/>
That’s another thing about the waiting room, it’s not just May’s workplace. It’s were May picked him up after Ben was shot.<br/>
<br/>
Flash gives Peter a carefully hug, and a promise to call him, before he leaves. It Peter has to guess, neither of Flash’s parents came to pick him up, but likely some rich dude in a black suit. Even after the DC event, Flash’s parents hadn’t cared to show up, sending someone else. When Peter thinks of that, he knows exactly why Flash would jump of a building. And Peter doesn’t regret saving his life.<br/>
<br/>
At some point, sitting there, Peter falls asleep. And when his carefully, shaken awake he can see the early morning sun shining in through the window.<br/>
<br/>
The person shaking Peter awake, is a surgeon. His hair a dark, his skin light, and eyes dark green. But his eyes are filled with sorrow. Peter has meet him before, it’s May’s friend. But first of foremost, right now, his May’s surgeon.<br/>
<br/>
He places are carefully hand of Peter shoulder, meet’s his eyes and says “I’m sorry Pete”.<br/>
<br/>
And with that Peter’s world breaks.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Upside down</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Why Pepper wakes up at 5 am in morning, she isn’t sure. She usually sleeps till Friday wakes her at 6 or 6:30 depending on the day. But 5 am is way to damn early. So she roles around, and tries to fall asleep again.<br/><br/>
Or that’s the plan, until she realizes Tony isn’t there in the king-sized bed next to her. It isn’t new, she knows Tony. He stays in the lab all night, and sometimes days at a time. She knows it’s because of the nightmares, about his captivity, about the wormhole, about his fight with Steve. She knows his hurting, but things were slowly getting better after they had sold the tower and moved to the compound permanently. He worked better where there wasn’t a constant noise from the city that never sleeps.<br/><br/>
That was also why they still hadn’t moved back to the city, even though they were looking at houses in the same neighborhood as Rhodey lived in. A part of the agreement with May, if Tony wants to be a bigger part of Peter’s life. And even though Pepper had been scared about what May would say, she was surprised by how open to the idea May was. ‘If it works, we might make it legal’ she had said, and Tony’s eyes had shined and been filed happiness in a way only she had been able to do before.<br/><br/>
And if that wasn’t clear enough of a sign, that Tony loved the kid. The fact that Tony had stopped drinking, might be. Yes, he took a glass win or camping when there were big events, but other than that? He didn’t touch it. That meant a lot more coffee, but Pepper could deal with that.<br/><br/>
That however didn’t mean Pepper had given up on trying to make Tony sleep at night. And that’s how she found herself, carefully making her way though the compound, and down to Tony’s lab. It was a clean copy of his lab in Malibu, before the bombing. Before Pepper’s fall. Before the surgery. Before things took a turn.<br/><br/>
Pepper wasn’t sure if that turn was for the worse or for the better. But she knew it was there.<br/><br/>
So Pepper carefully typed in her code, in the smart display of the glass next to the door. Waiting for Friday to confirm her identity and open to door so she could go in. It didn’t take long, it was almost instant, the tone the confirmed it was a low ping.<br/><br/>
So she slowly pushed open the door, finding Tony sitting over his worktable, Dum-E next to him. Both of them holding screwdrivers, working on a new project. Pepper wouldn’t even begin to guess what he was working on; it was beyond her. It didn’t matter anyways. All she knew was that it was a small cube, with light. Probably new avengers tech.<br/><br/>
Tony doesn’t look up as Pepper approach “Nightmares?” she asks, gaining Tony’s attention. He meet her eyes briefly, gives a stiff nod. She walks over, placing her arms around his next, placing a small kiss on his head. “If I find the sleeping pills, would you be willing to try again?” she askes running her fingers through his hair.<br/><br/>
“I can’t Pep” Tony replies “I already tried”. The screwdriver is thrown on the worktable, Tony turns around, he looks almost dead. Big, black, marks under his eyes.<br/><br/>
“Do you want to talk about it?” she askes carefully, knowing that Tony doesn’t do emotions, at least not most of the time. She knows that if she pushes, it will only make it worse. Because Tony, is Tony.<br/><br/>
“It’s the kid” Tony says “He didn’t show up for therapy. First session, and he is already skipping. Not even giving it a chance” Tony shakes his head. But Pepper knows Tony isn’t disappointed in Peter, just worried. And with good reason. Tony had told her about what happened, even showed her the proof. The medical records. Friday’s videos, clearly showing the kid’s skinny, slightly bony, body. And even though Peter had been eating extra amounts of food, he still needed to gain more. Who would have though a kid could lose so much in a week, and not even gain a fourth of it back in the same amount of time?<br/><br/>
Pepper had talked to May about it of course. They were great friends, and even if it was Peter and Tony who had a father-son relationship, it was Pepper and May who do the legal stuff. Like adding Tony as an emergency contact, not only as school but also the hospital, the system. And even agreed to have her and Tony written into May’s will. ‘Just in case’ May had said. ‘Just in case’ Pepper agreed.<br/><br/>
“Maybe something came up? You know how the kid is” Pepper says, smiling carefully at Tony.<br/><br/>
“You right” Tony says, and sighs “I just can’t help but feel like somethings off”.<br/><br/>
Tony barely finishes his sentence before Friday speaks up “Incoming call from an unknown number boss” the AI chins up, with he slightly robotic, but mostly human voice.<br/><br/>
Tony curses under his breath, before he almost snaps at the AI “Tell them I’m busy” he says.<br/><br/>
“I’m sorry Boss. It would appear to be an emergency. It’s your private number” Friday adds. Tony suddenly stiffens and shares a look with Pepper that says ‘WTF?’ and is filled with worry at the same time. And when Tony makes no move, Pepper give Friday a go to put the number through.<br/><br/>
“Hello, I’m calling from Mount Sinai Queens hospital. Am I talking to a Mr. Stark?” a male voice sounds through Friday’s speakers.<br/><br/>
“Yes” Tony replies without hesitation<br/><br/>
“You are written as an emergency contact to Mr. Parker, is the correct?” the man asks. And Tony’s voice is filled with worry when he answers.<br/><br/>
“Yes, I am” Tony says “Is he okay?” his voice is shaky, hands trembling. And Pepper herself can’t help but have her breath hitch slightly, Queens, Parker. Peter. Something happened to Peter. It’s barely been a week since Tony was placed as an emergency contact, and it’s already used.<br/><br/>
“Mr. Parker is fine, Mr. Stark. But we need you to come as soon as possible, or we will be forced to place Mr. Parker in a temporary foster home” the male voice says. It’s not without emotion, but professional non the less.<br/><br/>
“What happened” Tony askes.<br/><br/>
The voice takes a deep breath “I’m afraid I can’t disclose that kind of information over the phone Mr. Stark. CPS has already been contacted”.<br/><br/>
“I’m on my way” Tony says, and before the voice can reply Tony has hung up. He meet’s Peppers eyes “You should probably call our lawyers” Pepper nods and pulls out her phone. Tony is already on his feet, leaving the workshop.<br/><br/>
This can’t be good.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Tony isn’t quiet sure what’s going through his head as he leave the workshop, calling his suit to him, and most importantly calling Happy to let him know were to meet him.<br/><br/>
His first though was ‘is the kid okay’ but, now is questions is ‘what happened to May?’. Because the words foster home and CPS, is things Tony can only connect to two things. None of them making any sense to Tony.<br/><br/>
The first one being, that May is abusive. That May has somehow abused Peter for years without anyone knowing.<br/><br/>
But that doesn’t seem like May.<br/><br/>
The second one being, that May is hurt badly. Or even worse dead. But that doesn’t quiet make sense to Tony either, it’s only been small 12 hours since he talked to make about Peter last. And he knows May is home, still recovering from the minor accident.<br/><br/>
But it anyways seems more likely, even if Tony can’t quite believe it.<br/><br/>
So, he burst through the doors to the ER, goes to the front desk and with his PR voice and smile says “I’m her for a Mr. Parker”. The female nurse, Sophie based on the name tag, click something on the computer. Makes a call, before asking him to follow her as they walk through the hospital corridors.<br/><br/>
Tony doesn’t really know what to expect, but it isn’t this. Soon enough he enters a small office, a woman sitting in front of a laptop with something open, clearly focused on her work without a care in the world. And in a large leather couch, sit the kid. Knees pull up in front of his chest, arms placed around them, and his head resting on them. Tears slowly falling from his eyes.<br/><br/>
Shit, option two it is then. Tony concludes.<br/><br/>
When the woman notices Tony she stands up and greets him. Still not even looking in the grieving teens direction. “You must be Mr. Stark” she says “When they told me Tony Stark was the kid’s emergency contact, I didn’t quiet believe it”. Tony isn’t in a mood for this.<br/><br/>
“We don’t got time for the formalities. What happened? And what do I have to sign to take to kid with me home?” He asks, cutting right to the case. Tony Stark style. He glazes at Peter. The kid doesn’t even seem aware the Tony’s there.<br/><br/>
“Mrs. Parker passed away a few hours ago during surgery” the woman replies, voice emotionless and stern. “Intracranial hematoma, most likely Subacute or Chronic, meaning it could take up to weeks or months for symptoms to appear. We believe it to stem from the hit and run a few weeks ago”. Tony knew it should have gotten May transferred to the compounds Med bay. Better doctors, better nurses. People who had a better idea of what to look for. He knew it, but he hadn’t. And now May was dead. Fuck.<br/><br/>
“Someone from CPS will come and have your signs some papers soon” the woman continues “until then you can talk to Mr. Parker. But you should be aware, he seems to have gone into emotional introduce shock. With his history or trauma, it isn’t very surprising. We as strangers haven’t been able to get through to him since we broke the news to him. Maybe you can” the woman says leaving the room so Tony can talk to Peter alone.<br/><br/>
Tony looks at the kid for a moment before moving over and sitting down next to the kid. “Hey kiddo” he greets carefully. The kid’s eyes are glazed over, and even though they are open the brown eyes looking in his direction, they doesn’t see anything.<br/><br/>
He carefully pulls the boy close, hoping to ground the kid. Hoping the kid will wake up and come back from wherever he is right now. And talk. God, Tony needs to hear the kids voice. But Peter doesn’t react to Tony’s touch, but Tony runs his fingers through the kids thick, brown, curls anyways. Hoping for the best, while he speaks in a low, soft, voice to the kid.<br/><br/>
“It’s going to be okay” Tony says “I’ll take you home” he promises. Because that’s all he can do. Sit here and hold the kid close, till he can take him home. Cause he will.<br/><br/>
They sit like that for a while before a different person walks in the door. A man, this time. CPS Tony guesses, and it’s quickly confirmed.<br/><br/>
“So, if you sign here you get temporary guardianship and can take the kid home” the man says, laying the papers out “We already did a background check, the kid’s your intern?” Tony nods, the man hums “If you don’t want to sign, we can always place him in foster care, but from what I hear from the other nurses, you seem adamant on taking the kid home”.<br/><br/>
Tony signs the papers. The kid still hasn’t responded, but Tony can take him home now. A nurse offers to write a prescription from some anxiety meds or sleeping pills for the kid. Tony declines. The kid’s metabolism burns through any drug too fast; Helen can make something faster if needs be. Not that he can tell anyone that.<br/><br/>
So Tony leads Peter out into the car, carefully, slowly. He put on the seatbelt, but when he moves to sit in the other side of the car, he can’t. The kids holding, sticking to Tony’s shirt. So Tony sits in the middle seat on the drive to the compound. Happy says nothing. Tony says nothing, just continues to hold the kid.<br/><br/>
When they get to the compound it 8 am on a Saturday morning. Pepper is waiting in the kitchen, talking on the phone with someone and waves at Tony and Peter as they enter. Tony guides the kid to a couch, askes Friday to start a Star Wars movie, in hopes Peter will react to something he already knows.<br/><br/>
He doesn’t.<br/><br/>
When Pepper is done with the phone call, she carefully joins them, worry is clear in her eyes as she looks at the kid clinging to Tony.<br/><br/>
“The lawyers have already gotten a copy of the guardianship Papers” she says carefully.<br/><br/>
“That’s great” Tony replies “Then we just need to kid to talk and come out of this shock state”.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. It only goes downhill</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>By the time, the Star Wars movie is over, Peter still hasn’t said a word. His not really there, not mentally. Parts of Tony wishes the Kid would at least be asleep now, but that kind of luck doesn’t seem to be there.<br/><br/>
But Tony isn’t alone about dealing with it.<br/><br/>
Pepper is there of course; she knows how to deal with anxiety and panic attacks. She had dealt with Tony many times before. Tony has dealt with them too, helped Peter after the vulture incident, but this is different, and Tony is out of his comfort-zone.<br/><br/>
At some point Rhodey joins them too. Pepper called him, and for the Tony is grateful. Partly because Rhodey has dealt with Tony when he lost his parents, and therefor knows how to deal. But also, because Rhodey is the only one, other than May, that have ever dealt with Peter’s eating issues. And with what just happened, their bound to show up.<br/><br/>
At least that would make sense after what May told him about both when Peter’s parents died, but also about when Ben died.<br/><br/>
Tony have only ever seen the aftermath of it. And it scares him as May’s words fills his head ‘I’m scared Tony. What if the second we stop watching him, he slips. What if it becomes something more? Something serious’. Tony knows what May was talking about, anorexia. He and Bruce had made a special boost drink for the kid.<br/><br/>
Tony, Rhodey, Pepper and Peter ends up using most of the morning watching Star Wars. At some point Tony drifts off, into nightmares. Fear feeling his body. And when he wakes up, it’s to the sound of panic.<br/><br/>
Peter is no longer sitting glued to his side, but it doesn’t take long to spot him. His is on his knees and the floor, throwing up. Pepper and Rhodey had already jumped into action. Finding a bowl, but also calming down the kid, soothing him. And right now, part’s of Tony is glad Peter hasn’t eaten since last night, because that limits what comes out by a great deal.<br/><br/>
By the time his done, he stays on the floor, leaning again Rhodey’s chest. Pepper is cleaning up. Tony slowly gets up and joins Peter and Rhodey on the floor, the kids pale and slightly sweaty. Tiny can almost feel the heat radiate of the boy’s body, like a fever. But Peter never gets sick anymore, so that can’t be?<br/><br/>
“Pete, your alright?” Tony askes, taking the kid from Rhodey, who pushes himself to his feet, but struggles slightly because of the stiffness or the braces.<br/><br/>
“Tony” Peter whispers, like he finally registers that someone is there. Like he’s coming back down from wherever he was hiding. And then he cries, tears slip down his face. But it’s silence, not filled with sobs like you’d expect. His just quietly crying, gripping the front of Tony’s shirt again.<br/><br/>
“It’s okay kiddo” Tony says, slowly rubbing hands over the kids back “It’s going to be okay. I got you”.<br/><br/>
Soon enough Pepper returns with a glass of water. Peter’s pulled slightly away from Tony, the glass pressed into his hands. Watching the glass of water in Peter hands, Tony suddenly realizes the kid’s shaking. Violently. Peter anyways takes a few sips of the water before putting the glass down and curls back into Tony’s side.<br/><br/>
Tony almost sighs with relief half an hour later when Peter stops crying and falls asleep. Right there on the floor, with Tony and Rhodey. They carefully carry him to his room, places him in his bed. Tony sits on the bed next to Peter for a moment, before leaving. He has a lot of things to do, things he’d rather not.<br/><br/>
One of those things are making sure someone takes care of May’s body. Get things ready for a funeral. Tony doesn’t know where to start, he had been an adult when his parents died, but he didn’t actually do anything on his own. Rhodey had helped, done most of it. And now Tony had to do it, for a kid. A 15-year-old, who just became an orphan for the second time in his life.<br/><br/>
In the end, Friday dose the job. Tony askes her to figure things out, and soon enough Friday informs him that May Parker’s body will be taken to a funeral home in Queens, the same as Ben Parkers. Looking at the list, everything is pretty much the same as with Ben. Tony suppose that’s not a bad idea, it means less decisions he has to make. And less decisions the kid has to make. The kid that has yet to say more than one word since they picked him up 6 hours ago.<br/><br/>
The fact that Peter is sleeping in a wonder to Tony, cause Tony clearly remembers just laying in his bed turning, being unable to find rest. As least so, until he had dug out a bottle of whisky and downed it. He’d also woken up to a sick feeling everywhere in his body, and had thrown up, but he had slept.<br/><br/>
Right now, all he could do was hope that Peter was to sleep somewhat easily. The last thing he wanted was for the kid to go the same was as he had. Not that Tony found that likely, Peter was very different from Tony. But Tony also knew, that he and the kid was more alike than he’d like to admit. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>In the end, Tony had gone to bed too. Pepper had gone to work, and Rhodey was doing something on his laptop in the living room.<br/><br/>
Tony had told Friday to alert him when Peter woke up, and the AI had of course agreed. But when Tony woke up that afternoon, Friday hadn’t said anything yet. So Tony moved to the lab, continuing his work on parts for a stealth suit Peter had helped design during on of his internship days.<br/><br/>
What was really hard, but also the smartest idea Tony had ever heard. Was the kid wanting to make a suit allowing him to turn invisible. Not only for sight, but from scanners too.<br/><br/>
By the time the sone rose, Peter was still sleeping. Or maybe he was cheating Friday’s systems? Tony knew for a fact, that Peter could keep his breathing and heartrate down to a point of cheating the sensors. He had done it a lot on lazy weekend days.<br/><br/>
A part of Tony couldn’t help but wonder if that trick would one day save Peter’s life.<br/><br/>
Probably not.<br/><br/>
But who knew?<br/><br/>
When the kid did wake up, it had been 33 hours since Tony had picked him up from the hospital. The majority of that time, being spend in a bed. But Tony knew the kid had been awake at least once, dry heaving over the on-suite toilet. But when Friday had confronted Peter, he had insisted he was fine. Tony knew better, but hoped quietly that if he gave the kid a little bit of space, he might show up on his own when he felt ready.<br/><br/>
And Tony had been right. Eating dinner with Bruce, Rhodey and Helen who was all spending the day at the compound for different reasons, they were soon enough joined by the spiderling.<br/><br/>
The kid’s hair was a mess, eyes red and puffed. But what really stood out to Tony was how Peter swayed, and how the kids hands were shaking. He looked about ready to take a nosedive to the floor, and Tony wasn’t the only one who though that. Because while he shot up moving to Peter in quick steps, Bruce and Rhodey weren’t far behind. Helen taking a step back, clearly not wanted to crowed the kid.<br/><br/>
And Tony had been right to worry, cause Tony barely made it to the kid before he collapsed forwards. Tony barely catching him under arms, carefully sliding them both to the floor.<br/><br/>
“Dammit” Tony cursed lightly under his breath, rubbing Peter down his chest hoping to gain a reacting from the teen. Nothing.<br/><br/>
“Helen, can you get me my back from the couch” Bruce asked, wariness in his voice. Getting down on his knees next to Peter and Tony. And soon enough Helen was dropping the back next to Bruce pulling it open.<br/><br/>
Bruce carefully pulled out a little device. A glucose meters. Tony had owned a modified version when he was being poisoned by his arc reactor. Bruce quickly pocked Peter thumb with the reader, waiting for it to calculate.<br/><br/>
“Didn’t know Peter was here on Sundays” Bruce’s comments as they wait for the result.<br/><br/>
Tony shakes his head “He isn’t usually” he replies. “Kid’s aunt died the night to Saturday. I his guardian until they have a chance to pull out May’s will. To see who she wanted to take care of him. Can’t let him end up in the system”.<br/><br/>
The device beeps, Bruce looks at it with a shocked look before showing Helen too. Helen is quick to pull out a syringe of glucose and carefully breaks to the skin with the needle before pushing in the clear liquid.<br/><br/>
“How’s it looking doc?” Rhodey asks.<br/><br/>
Helen get’s to her feet, “I want him in the Med Bay now. Glucose levels are under 20 mg/dl, it’s a wonder he didn’t faint earlier”.<br/><br/>
Tony waste no time picking up the boy, and they all with quick steps get’s to the elevator Friday has waiting for them. It takes them to the Med Bay, Tony places Peter on one of the beds. Helen get’s to work hocking the kid up with an I.V. Heart monitor, blood pressure reader. And other medical devices.<br/><br/>
“Do you know what the last time he ate was?” Helen askes as her and Bruce does their things.<br/><br/>
“Best guess? Friday afternoon” Rhodey replies “But with the kid’s history, I guess we can’t really be sure”.<br/><br/>
“He threw up yesterday. Slept till now” Tony adds, sitting down in a chair next to the kid, carefully rubbing circles over the kids hand.<br/><br/>
“And you didn’t think to make the kid eat?” Bruce frowns.<br/><br/>
“It crossed my mind” Tony admits “But have you meet the kid? From what May has told me, in connection with death it’s impossible to make the kid eat. And May had experience with him. You really think we’d have a chance?”.<br/><br/>
Helen studies Tony for a second “Peter has an eating disorder?”. Tony isn’t sure if it’s a question or a statement.<br/><br/>
“You guess is as good as any. All I know is that he sometimes ‘forgets’ to eat when under pressure” Tony replies.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. I’ve had my wake up, won’t you wake up?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Peter wakes up in what he can only describe as a giant hospital bed. The room is white, clean, sterile.<br/><br/>
To any normal person it might seem normal.<br/><br/>
To an adult it might be nothing. Something to shrug off.<br/><br/>
But to Peter.<br/><br/>
Little, six-year-old Peter.<br/><br/>
Who just lost his parents in a plane crash?<br/><br/>
Waking up in a big, giant, hospital bed, the threatens to swallow him whole… it’s a nightmare.<br/><br/>
And Peter just wants to wake up, see his parents and think to himself that it’s just a bad dream. But Peter isn’t stupid.<br/><br/>
When people die, they stay dead.<br/><br/>
‘Sleep forever’ as Ben always says. ‘They become stars’ May chimes in.<br/><br/>
Peter wish he could sleep forever too.<br/><br/>
But he doesn’t. Peter wakes up, in a hospital bed.<br/><br/>
A thin tube is securely placed in one of his veins, and a colorless liquid slowly drips into his body.<br/><br/>
Drip.<br/><br/>
Drip.<br/><br/>
Drip.<br/><br/>
Drip.<br/><br/>
Drip.<br/><br/>
“Hey Pete” May says. She’s sitting next to the bed, a worried look in her eyes.<br/><br/>
“What happened” Peter askes, his voice is hoarse, he fills slightly dizzy.<br/><br/>
May takes Peter’s hand with the I.V and squeezes it slightly. “You fainted Peter. Hit your head on the corner of a table” She says, carefully. Like Peter’s about to break. Like glass. “You have to eat, Pete”.<br/><br/>
Peter cries.<br/><br/>
It’s sudden, and his isn’t really sure why it happens.<br/><br/>
May hugs him tight.<br/><br/>
Peter sobs.<br/><br/>
“I want mommy and daddy”<br/><br/>
“I know honey. I know” May says.</em>
</p>
<p>“How are you feeling right now?” Mrs. Brown, Tony’s therapist and now Peter’s too, asks. Mr. Stark called her while Peter was unconscious. If Peter had been awake, he might have fought Mr. Stark on it. Peter’s problems doesn’t need to be solved at 11:30 pm at night.<br/><br/>
When Peter came to, and told Mr. Stark he didn’t need it though, Mr. Stark had said there either Peter would talk to the therapist or someone at the compound. Mr. Stark, Bruce, Helen, Rhodey, Pepper or even Happy.<br/><br/>
Peter strangely enough prefers for it to be a stranger.<br/><br/>
The stranger Mrs. Brown.<br/><br/>
“Overwhelmed” Peter replies. It’s the truth. His head is chaos, thoughts screaming different things at him all at once. And Peter can’t find an ending or a beginning to any of it.<br/><br/>
Mrs. Brown takes notes. She promises that every word Peter says will stay between the two of them, but Peter knows that’s not true. Mr. Stark had cameras and microphone everywhere in the building. Peter don’t think Mr. Stark would listen in, but at the same time… he knows Tony listen to the baby monitor protocol from the suit. Why would this be any different.<br/><br/>
He also knows that if she at any point, thinks that Peter could be a danger to himself, she has to make his guardians aware.<br/><br/>
“Can you tell me what makes you feel Overwhelmed?” Mrs. Brown askes.<br/><br/>
“May…” Peter replies. It’s barely above a whisper.<br/><br/>
Mrs. Brown move the chair a little closer to the hospital bed Peter’s sitting in. Helen want’s to keep him for the rest of the night, to really bring his glucose levels back up. “Do you want to talk about May?” she asks.<br/><br/>
Peter shakes his head.<br/><br/>
“Are there other reasons you feel overwhelmed?” Mrs. Brown asks. She knows about Spider-man, about his secret. Mr. Stark had her sign NDA’s before she could talk to Peter, and Peter had seen the copy. Knows that if anything happens, they’ll deal with it.<br/><br/>
“There was this boy” Peter says “Flash. He bullies me”.<br/><br/>
“Did something happen with Flash lately the makes you overwhelmed?” Mrs. Brown asks carefully, taking notes without her eyes ever leaving Peter.<br/><br/>
“He jumped” Peter whispers “He jump of a building… and Spider-man saved him”.<br/><br/>
“And how does that make you feel Peter?” Brown looks at him with an intense view.<br/><br/>
Peter shrugs “I forgave him. I pulled off my mask and forgave him”.<br/><br/>
“Do you regret it?”, Peter shakes his head. No, he doesn’t. He doesn’t regret anything he said or did on the roof. It was the right thing to do, and what did Flash right after? He helped Peter when he struggled.<br/><br/>
“It’s just a lot to take in” Peter finally says. Brown wants verbal answers, even if it takes a while. Even if it leaves them in a quiet silence for hours. Even if he doesn’t have an answer, Brown wants him to say it out loud.<br/><br/>
She says he has to communicated what his feeling. That it’s important that he can express what he needs.<br/><br/>
Peter tries.<br/>
Before Brown leaves that night, she gives Peter her number with the instructions to write or call if he ever needs anything.<br/><br/>
Peter takes the number with a promise that he will.<br/><br/>
He isn’t actually sure he will.<br/><br/>
Almost as soon as Brown leave Peter, Mr. Stark walks in with a glass with a straw in. It filled with a light pink, thick liquid.<br/><br/>
“Though you might want to eat or drink something” Mr. Stark says as he sits down in the chairs next to the bed and hands Peter the glass. “Raspberry, blueberry and milk” he says. It’s simple. Peter doesn’t need to think, sucking up the smoothie. And Mr. Stark is right, his stomach were screaming for something.<br/><br/>
“Thanks” he mumbles between sips.<br/><br/>
“They collected May’s will this afternoon” Mr. Stark says “There are two names for who she wants to be your guardian in case something happened to her”.<br/><br/>
Peter meet’s Mr. Stark eyes, “Who?”.<br/><br/>
“Me and Pepper” Mr. Stark replies.<br/><br/>
“She’s really gone now...” Peter says in a low voice. It isn’t a question, it’s statement. Peter knows she’s gone, HE knows it. And really what he wants to say is ‘I’m all alone now’. But he doesn’t. He can’t say that out loud… not yet at least.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>As Helen has promised Peter is free the leave the Med bay when morning comes. Somehow is has already turned Monday, but Peter isn’t going to school. Mr. Stark and he agreed that Peter should stay home a few days. School will send him the homework he need’s the complete.<br/><br/>
Peter hasn’t turned on his phone since Friday night. When he finally dose, in his room at the compound, there’s a million messages from Ned. But Peter doesn’t care to reply. He just falls back against his pillow and looks up at the celling.<br/><br/>
When Peter first saw the room when Mr. Stark had shown him and May the first time he was staying the night, Peter had been so impressed. The walls are painted in a dark blue that Matches the suit. One of the wall, are build of glass, letting him look out into the Forrest the surrounds the compound. The shelfs, and furniture is black, but with red accents.<br/><br/>
In the middle, up against the window is a double bed. Peter struggled with sleeping in it in the beginning. He felt so small crawling into it. Now it’s just nice.<br/><br/>
On the wall, opposite the bed, is a big flat screen TV, and on shelfs under it is placed every game console he could ever dream of. Xbox one X. PS4 pro, with a VR headset. And a big collection of games, not just digital, but also physical. The TV also has access to about any streaming service on earth.<br/><br/>
There’s a desk and a bookshelf. For school work.<br/><br/>
There is a bean bags in on of the corners.<br/><br/>
On every shelf, there a placed giant Lego builds him, and Ned as build together. Some of them aren’t even out yet, but Mr. Stark used his title and money to get them for him anyways.<br/>
But what Peter loves the most about his room at the compound, is all the bars and bumps Mr. Stark has mounted on the walls and ceilings for Peter to climb on. And the swing chair that’s mounted too. It’s any kids dream.<br/><br/>
There’s also a private bathroom directly connected to Peter’s room. It had a show-tub combo, a toilet the flushes on it’s own. And storage for giant med kit, that Peter uses after patrols when it’s nothing too big and he can handle it on his own. It’s nothing fancy, just something to kill bacteria and germs. And bandage so he can cover it up.<br/><br/>
At some point after Peter had begged for months, he had been allowed a small orange pill bottle of enhance pain killers to be in the med kit too. And even have some at his apartment in Queens. Cho had wanted to make sure Peter knew the rules down to the smallest detail before she would even consider allowing it.  Really it was simple, one pill pr. 24 hours, nothing more. And it wasn’t to be used for stupid things like headaches.<br/><br/>
Peter had once asked why she was so carefully about allowing him to be in position of the enhanced Meds, but Cho had refused to tell him. But Peter wasn’t stupid, and it was easy to figure out there were a longer story behind it.<br/><br/>
Peter didn’t push. Just accepted that, that’s how things would be.<br/><br/>
“Friday, throw on a movie please” Peter says out to the celling.<br/><br/>
The windows become tinted, and one of the movies on Peter’s list starts playing on the television.<br/><br/>
And soon enough, he drifts off.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Those little moments…</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tony Stark payed for the funeral. Peter hadn’t even though about anything, just woken up Tuesday to Mr. Stark shaking him lightly, for a protein shake to me pressed into his hands, and black cloth laying ready on the dresser.<br/><br/>
It really shouldn’t have come as a surprise though. Peter was well aware that someone had to figure everything out when it came to the funeral. And who better to do so, than Mr. Stark?<br/><br/>
So Peter had pulled himself into a hot shower, standing under the water for a little longer than normal, before putting on the cloths. Peter wasn’t a fan of suits, they were to fancy, stiff. Peter had seen picture of 6-year-old him, with a suit, next to his parent’s graves. But when Ben had been buried he had just worn a fancy white shirt, semi fancy black pants, new sneakers he had gotten only a few weeks before Ben was shot, and a black tie. But it had only stayed on for a long as they were inside the church, the second they got out he had pulled the tie off and pulled a black hoodie over his cloths and hugged himself tight.<br/><br/>
If anyone asked it had been because he felt cold, with his spider powers that wouldn’t be a surprise, spider’s can’t thermoregulate. But really he had just felt out of place, and needed to get out of there as soon as possible.<br/><br/>
Ben would have been disappointed if he had been there…<br/><br/>
Based on the cloth Mr. Stark, or maybe it was Mrs. Potts who had found it, they knew Peter wasn’t a fan of suits. Peter was grateful for that.<br/><br/>
Simple black jeans, sneakers, a white t-shirt and a new blazer that Mr. Stark likely had bought him at some point while Peter had been laying in a daze in his bed. That was different than when his parents and Ben had died.<br/><br/>
When his parents and when Ben had died, Peter had felt sad. He had felt so lost, and sad and angry and confused all at once. He had cried, he had hugged May tight. He had been grieving. Now he just felt numb. He wanted to stay, hidden under his bed covers. He didn’t just forget to eat; he didn’t feel like it at all. He didn’t feel like anything, really. This wasn’t grieving the way he was so used too, this was so different.<br/><br/>
And really, Peter wasn’t sure he’d ever stop feeling numb. Walking around in a haze, not really being there. It was weird. Really weird.<br/><br/>
When he finally pulled himself out of his room, and slowly walked through the compound he was meet by Happy, Pepper and Tony in the kitchen. Pepper in a black dress, only just covering her shoulders, and going down to right over he knees. And lose hair, he hadn’t ever seen Pepper with lose hair before. Happy in his suit, as always. And Tony in a blazer, black fancy suit pants and shoes, and a white shirt too.<br/><br/>
Seeing them, grieving too, over May. Aunt May, who had taken care of Peter when no one else could… Peter didn’t know how to react. He knew they had gotten closer; he’d been there when May had said that if things worked out it could become some legal. He hadn’t expected that, legal things, to happen this way.<br/><br/>
And Happy, Happy who’s name was so ironic, might have been the one other than Peter, who had been closet with May. Happy had stayed for dinner some night after driving Peter home. Happy had come around with take away on weekends. Happy had been there for May’s birthday only a few months prior to her death. Happy had taken May out for dinner the weekend before the hit and run. Happy and May might as well have been in love, and Peter knew that. Peter had seen how May’s eye’s lite up when Happy was around, and he had heard the fondness in Happy’s voice when Peter talked about what he and May had been up to. Peter had been lucky enough to see that, whatever that was. And that, had been supposed to grow, and become something bigger.<br/><br/>
That wouldn’t happen now.<br/><br/>
Just like May wouldn’t be there when Peter is done with high school, and when he goes to college. When he finds the love of his life and get kids.  </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>The church is filled with people Peter haven’t seen since Ben’s funeral. Friends of both Ben and Mays. Old classmates, colleagues… because Ben and May kept in contact with most of them. To May and Ben friends, meant just as much as family. And they were close to a lot of people.<br/><br/>
Peter doesn’t really know most of them, only meet them a time or two. If he really looks closely, he remembers some of them being there when his parents were buried too. Or, more specifically the empty caskets, because the plan went down in the ocean, and the bodies were never found. But he can’t put a name on those people. He doesn’t remember his parent’s friends and colleagues. And if it wasn’t because of the pictures he had seen of the funeral 9 year prior, he wouldn’t have recognized the people at all.<br/><br/>
Everyone stops by and says hello, gives him their condolences. Peter isn’t sure how to respond.<br/><br/>
The only people there that Peter really knows, it Ned and his parents. And as soon as he finds them, he sticks to them instead of Pepper and Tony. (When did he start thinking about them and Pepper and Tony instead of Mrs. Potts and Mr. Stark?). Tony is the one paying for everything, so there is a risk that the press might have gotten a lead from somewhere. And Tony’s big, fancy care is in the parking lot. At least that’s what Peter’s brain tells him, and he’d rather not be caught on camera with Tony.<br/><br/>
Not because it would risk connecting him to Spider-man. But because Peter doesn’t necessarily want reporters to dig around, to find information on him. He still remembers the panic, in the hotel room in Berlin, when someone had found Peter’s name in the Skip case and said it out loud on live TV. (A/N: I told you, go read the first part first please). God, Happy and Pepper had saved his ass that night. At least, somewhat.<br/><br/>
Besides, Ned is good support. And really, Peter needs that more than anything right now.<br/><br/>
Someone Peter didn’t expect to show up but did it anyways. Is Flash. There’s a tight hug. A weird look from Ned. But no words. Flash was there, that night. That night that seems like a million years ago by now, but really is only last Friday.<br/><br/>
Things had changed so fast.<br/><br/>
The ceremony isn’t too fancy, non-of the Parker ever really believed in life or death, or God. Whole the funeral things, is mostly - in Peter’s opinion - a case for people to say goodbye, if they couldn’t be there when it happened. And a way to show support to those who were closet with the deceased.<br/><br/>
There are a few people that hold a speech. A nurse from the hospital, talks about how May always made patients smile. Someone, probably a friend of Ben’s, talk about how strong May were after Ben died. An older man, likely in his late 80’s, who lives in the apartment next door, talks about how much his going to miss May’s friendliness to the people around her.<br/><br/>
Peter doesn’t say anything, he feels like he should. He can’t. No one blames him.<br/><br/>
Outside, May’s casket is put down into the ground. People throw flowers down on top, before someone come to fill the hole. Happy, Tony and Pepper, leaves a little early. They don’t really leave, but as soon as they got out of the church, they could see reporters in the parking lot. So Happy thought it’d be best for them to leave, let the reporters follow them, and pick up Peter a little later.<br/><br/>
That means Peter is left alone, sitting in the grass, as everyone else slowly leaves. The sun’s shining, it isn’t gray like when Ben died.<br/><br/>
Peter watches as the whole is filled. The stone is placed, and the flowers from the church is please on top. Peter let’s his eyes wonder over the stones.<br/><br/>
Mary Parker.<br/><br/>
Richard Parker.<br/><br/>
Ben Parker.<br/><br/>
May Parker.<br/><br/>
One day, there’s also going to be a stone with his name, Peter Parker. The only Parker left. But when his stone is placed, he won’t be there to see it. To see the Parker family, die out. Disappear.<br/><br/>
At some point as he sits there, e realized he isn’t as alone as he thought. While mostly all the guest has left, a man and a woman Peter saw in the back of the church is standing at the edge of the graveyard, watching him.<br/><br/>
They both have thick, dark jackets on. Sunglasses. Hats. Any normal human wouldn’t be able to pick out any of the details, but Peter’s enhanced sense, allows him to see the red hair that is covering the woman’s head.<br/><br/>
When they realize they have been spotted, they wave and slowly walks towards him.</p>
<p>
  <em>May and Ben are standing behind him, holding his hands as the caskets and put down into the ground. As the wholes are filled.<br/><br/>
Peter tired, and sad. He wants to cry, but he got no tears left.<br/><br/>
They sit down in the grass, and just sit there. Peter isn’t sure for how long.<br/><br/>
Suddenly two people, a man and a woman sit down next to Peter. The women’s hair is red and long, the man’s hair is blond and short.<br/><br/>
May and Ben doesn’t seem faced by the two strangers, as they sit there. So Peter doesn’t react to them either.<br/><br/>
At some point May and Ben leaves Peter with the strangers, as they go talk to someone else who has stayed around after the caskets were put down into the ground.<br/><br/>
Peter doesn’t understand why people who sleep forever has to sleep in the ground. Why not a bed?<br/><br/>
But he doesn’t say that out loud.<br/><br/>
“You must be Peter” The red hair women says with a sad smile “I’m Natascha and that is Clint” She gesture to the man.<br/><br/>
“We worked with your parents” The man - Clint - adds. “Great scientists. Big lose”.</em>
</p>
<p>“Hey Peter” Natasha carefully sits down into the grass and let the hat fall to the ground with the sunglasses. The man sits too, but without letting go of the hat and glasses.<br/><br/>
When Peter was 6, Iron man had just revealed himself as Tony Stark. Black window and Hawkeye weren’t known yet. Of course, Peter now know that they both worked with shield back then, but that’s because of his secret identity as Spider-man.<br/><br/>
Now it feels almost comically stupid that he forgot that his 6-year-old self has meet two avengers. But really how would he have known. Back then the Avengers weren’t yet a thing.<br/><br/>
“Natasha, Clint” he greets, “Funny, 9 years ago when my parents were put into the ground, I wouldn’t have guessed Avengers and superhero’s would become a thing. Yet alone, that my parents worked with superhero’s once. The world has changed a lot since then, don’t you think”.<br/><br/>
“You remember us?” Clint asks, disbelief clear in his voice.<br/><br/>
Peter shrugs “Barely. Aren’t you supposed to be in prison?” he asks. Carefully. He isn’t actually sure what happened after the accords. He didn’t follow it much, but he knows Tony went to see them at the raft.<br/><br/>
Natacha smirks “Clint is on house arrets. And to public knowledge I didn’t do anything wrong”.<br/><br/>
“You are super spies though” He says “I’m pretty sure you know about my connection to Tony”.<br/><br/>
“Your parents wanted to keep you off shield records, like I do with my own kids” Clint replies “we respected that”.<br/><br/>
Peter frowns “Is that so?”. The spies nod.<br/><br/>
“Are you going to tell Stark we were here?” Natascha asks.<br/><br/>
Peter shakes his head “Would my parents have done that?” he asks.<br/><br/>
“Most likely not” Clint says.<br/><br/>
They sit there for a while till Happy, Tony and Pepper returns. They talk, and for a moment Peter forgets he’s supposed to be sad. And he doesn’t feel a numb as he did that morning. But when the black car pulls up and into the parking lot, the spies are gone. And in Peter’s jeans pocket, lays a little piece of paper, with two phone numbers.<br/><br/>
He doesn’t tell Tony about the spies’ visit. There’s no reason to.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. The 1-week mark</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Turns out it had been a good idea for Peter, to stick with Ned at the funeral. Because of course there had been reports.<br/><br/>
The headlines were up in less than 12 hours.<br/><br/>
<strong>“Tony Stark spotted at funeral in Queens”<br/><br/>
“Starks secret wife dead?”<br/><br/>
“Who are the Parker family?”<br/><br/>
</strong>
That last one is the one that hits the hardest. Of course, reporters don’t care that a graveyard is a place were people find peace. And since the place is small, and no one else died and was buried there, is was easy to find the Parker name on the stone.<br/><br/>
And the fact that they haven’t yet found his name, is really clean luck. If the Parker family has that anyways.<br/><br/>
Damn Parker luck.<br/><br/>
Needless to say, Peter doesn’t go to school for the rest of the week. And through a little bit of Potts’ magic, there is made an agreement with Peters school, that he first returns in the new year. It give him right around a month. December has just started. But it also means, that Peter had to make all his homework from the compound. Not that it really matters to Peter.<br/><br/>
So Peter locks himself in his room, only leaving it when someone forces him to eat or drink. At least that’s what he’d like to do.<br/><br/>
Of course, living under the same roof as Pepper Potts, means that isn’t possible. If it were, Tony would never leave his lab. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t try. Laying in his bed, hiding un the covers, watching movies, and crying over his keyboard as he has to write a stupid assignment about “Which of your parents are your hero”.<br/><br/>
Peter doesn’t have parents, everyone knows that. But things were easier when he at least had May. Of course, now his waiting for a legal team to make Pepper and Tony his legal guardians. But could he write about them? Probably not. People wouldn’t believe him, and it would likely get him in trouble. And what about Flash?<br/><br/>
Flash had commented some bad, mean things when Rhodey had showed up for career day.<br/><br/>
Yes, Flash had changed now, at least he said he would. But that didn’t mean his group was going to do the same thing. And when Peter returned to school Flash would likely be pressured to go back into his role as the bully. God Peter didn’t want that.<br/><br/>
In the end Peter had closed his laptop, and tried to pretend that assignment didn’t exist. Not that it would work, Friday was going to tell on hm, but right at that moment he really didn’t care that much about it.<br/><br/>
It’s only twenty minutes later, right before dinner, someone knock at the door. But they doesn’t wait for a reply before opening the door and walking in.<br/><br/>
It’s Rhodey. Peter doesn’t need to open his eyes and look up to know that, the sound of the leg braces is enough for Peter’s enhanced ears.<br/><br/>
“Hey Pete” Rhodey says, carefully sitting down on the bed “I know your not sleeping, I just came to see how your holding up”.<br/><br/>
Peter open his eyes, Rhodey’s looking at him with intense, worried eyes. “As good as I could be” Peter replies, his voice is emotionless. But he barely notices himself, but it’s clear Rhodey does. Cause he moves his hand to Peter’s shoulder and squeezes him tight.<br/><br/>
“Pepper says you haven’t left you room since the funeral” Rhodey states. It isn’t a question that Peter had to confirm of deny, they both know the answer. “Which is impressive, I mean. Pepper can get Tony out of the lab but can’t get you out of bed”. It’s supposed to be funny; Peter can’t find it in himself to laugh. So Peter just shrugs.<br/><br/>
Rhodey sighs, “I got a calorie drink you kid” he throws it Peter, before looking at the nightstand next to Peter’s bed. There’s a plate with a mostly untouched sandwich on it. “And when that’s down, your joining us for dinner”. It isn’t an option, it’s an order.<br/><br/>
So Peter does. He slowly. Very slowly. Sips the vanilla flavored drink. He has eaten since the funeral, but far from the amount he should have, so his stomach has shrunk. Cho has confirmed that just like everything else in Peter’s body, it happens faster. The thick vanilla drink makes Peter’s stomach uncomfortably full, and his is slightly nauseous when Rhodey forces him to stand. The liquid is moving inside of his stomach, uncomfortably. Spider-man shouldn’t be this week.<br/><br/>
He sways lightly as they were through the compound, his legs feeling weak under his body weight. Rhodey doesn’t comment on it, just placed a hand on his back to steady him.<br/><br/>
It doesn’t take too long before they enter the kitchen. Banner, Pepper, Helen, and Tony is already seated, clearly waiting for him and Rhodey. If Peter had to guess, Vision is somewhere at the compound too, but he haven’t actually seen him yet. And the other avengers, are either criminals or lives elsewhere. Really Rhodey lives elsewhere too, a big apartment in a rich neighborhood. Peter has been there, right after May’s accident. Back then May was fine, the doctors said so. Now May was dead. Peter doesn’t really remember Rhodey’s place though. Just the fact that he fainted on Rhodey’s guest room floor. Tony had been so scared to see how much weight Peter had lost then. Hell, Peter was still trying to regain that when May suddenly died, just a week ago. Now his bound to be really underweight… and with his metabolism, it’s going to be hard to regain it.</p>
<p>
  
    <em>Peter was hiding in the hallway leading to the kitchen. He was coming from the bathroom, his enhanced sense allowing Peter to hear conversations he was wasn’t supposed to.<br/><br/>
He had frozen there, in the hallway. Tony and May were talking about… him?<br/><br/>
“Tony, I just need you to make something, anything” May says “I can’t let him kill himself through starvation!”.<br/><br/>
“I will” Tony says “God May, why didn’t you tell me before?!”.<br/><br/>
“What was I supposed to say?” May shoots back “Hey my nephew has problems with eating. It isn’t diagnosed Tony, and Peter is going to refused getting tested”.<br/><br/>
“Oh I’m sorry, but a heads up that the kid faints every so often because he doesn’t eat doesn’t seem like to much to ask for” Tony replies with his PR voice. Peter can see Tony’s smile, almost hear it as well. If you could hear a smile, that is.<br/><br/>
“Just help him!” May snaps.<br/><br/>
Tony sighs “I already told you I will”.</em>

</p>
<p>
  “Hey kid, nice to see you finally left you room” Tony says as he see’s Peter. He smiles softly at him, even if they both know he looks like shit. His hair is a mess, or more so than usually. There are dark bags under his eyes. And if you run you fingers over you, you can feel every bone in his body. Peter himself finds it a little scary.<br/><br/>
Peter tries to force a smile, to reassure Tony that his fine. But Peter can feel how fake it is, he wouldn’t be able to feel himself with it, so he forgets about it and join the others at the table. Pepper is already putting meat and potatoes on a plate for Peter, a glass of water and a can of coca cola is push his way as well.<br/><br/>
It’s a small portion compared to what he usually eats. It’s small, even for a normal person. But secretly Peter is grateful for it, it makes it less overwhelming, less stressful. But also because he knows his stomach have gotten so small now, that he’d throw up if he ate his normal amount. Even if he hasn’t eaten in hours. He knows for a fact he can thank Helen for the smaller portion size too. He has told her about the stress. About his bad eating habit triggers. He has also told Mrs. Brown, the therapist. Together they are working on diagnosing it. To see if there are a name for it, because there has to be. Right?<br/><br/>
They eat in silence for a while before Pepper breaks the silence.<br/><br/>
“So, Peter” Pepper starts, she’s careful to choose the right words “whole the legal thing is done. Me and Tony as now officially your guardians” she pushes a purple binder his way, likely filled with copies of the papers. “Hopefully with that out of the way, things will get easier”.<br/><br/>
And she’s right. It give some sort of stability that Peter wants and need right now. It feels good to know that his wont risk being placed into a foster home. That his stuck here. Even if he knows in the back of his mind, that really they could throw him out whenever. But Peter knows Tony wont do that. Right?<br/><br/>
“It sounds great” Peter replies “It’s nice not to worry about that kind of stuff”. He carefully takes a bit of the meat. It’s chicken. Pepper only eats chicken or vegan. Peter isn’t sure why.<br/><br/>
“I’m sure that right, Pete” Bruce chimes in. “You should join me and Tony in the lab. We’re working on a bigger project and could use some extra hands if you feel up to it”. Bruce smiles carefully.<br/><br/>
Peter shrugs, pushing a potato around his plate “I’ll think about it”.<br/><br/>
“Underoos?” Peter looks up to meet Tony’s eyes “Now that we know we can keep you, I was thinking, or well. Me and Pepper was thinking that maybe adoption would be an option. Like me and May talked about” Tony says, carefully, soft voice. “No rush in giving an answer though”.<br/><br/>
Does Peter want that? Adoption is a big word. Adoption was what May and Ben did. They became mom and dad. What if Peter’s parents, Peter’s mom and dad, are cursed? What if that’s why everyone he loves dies.<br/><br/>
He can’t think like that. It isn’t healthy. It’s stupid. God, his stupid.<br/><br/>
Really he just isn’t sure he can replace May. Would it even be okay with May? She never liked Tony Stark, only allowing Peter to see him because of Spider-man. Or had things changed? He was written in the will, together with Pepper.<br/><br/>
He decides it isn’t the right time to think about it.<br/><br/>
“Um… Helen?” Peter askes carefully. His stomach twists with anxiety. His throats fill tight and dry.<br/><br/>
“Yes Peter?” Helen, Dr. Cho askes. There a look in her eyes Peter can’t determine.<br/><br/>
Peter takes a deep breath “You wouldn’t happen to have sleep meds to enhanced individuals?”.<br/><br/>
“Having trouble sleeping?” Peter nods “Well, it have never been a priority to make sleeping pills, but I’m sure me and Bruce can make something to help”.<br/><br/>
“Just need a blood test so we know we don’t accidently make something that kills spiders” Bruce adds.<br/><br/>
“Thanks” Peter says, taking the last bit off his plate. He fills full. Way to full. And he feels like he might throw up.<br/><br/>
Bruce draws blood, and Peter leaves. Goes back to his room, trying to keep his dinner down. His already keeping food from his body, he doesn’t want to make a habit of throwing up. He isn’t sick. He doesn’t have an eating disorder. His just sad and stressed with everything going on, and that’s okay. It has to be okay. And it’s not like he doesn’t eat, because he does. He just needs reminders. A little push in the right direction. For things to be taken slow, and without anyone panicking. And with panicking, Peter means… what does he mean? Would it even be panicking at this point if Helen or Bruce placed a feeding tube? His underweight, and if he drops more he’ll soon be dangerously underweight.<br/><br/>
Damn enhanced metabolism.
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. THREE may keep a secret, if TWO of them are DEAD</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>On the Monday, Peter, Tony and Pepper goes to his and May’s apartment. No one have been there since May collapsed in the kitchen just 10 days prior. Both Tony and Pepper said that Peter didn’t have to help, and that if he wanted to they could clean up the apartment later. But Peter had insisted that the sooner the better. And in the end Peter would have to go through it all anyways.<br/><br/>
Peter and Flash’s hot chocolate cups are still on the living room table, green stuff has started to grow in them. There’s dried blood on the floor in the kitchen. Peter hadn’t noticed May was bleeding. They stay out of May’s room for now, Peter isn’t ready to see what’s hiding behind that door, because something in his says it’s bad.<br/><br/>
They start the simple things, pulls out a few trash bags and throws out the mountains of to old food. Old milk left over Thai, moldy bread, and smelling, wet, vegetables.<br/><br/>
Most of the glass, plates and other kitchen stuff is put in boxes, and is going to be given to charity. But a handful and Peter’s favorite mug’s are being placed in a box labeled ‘keep’. There’s really only four, a set of animal’s cups, were their tales are the handles. There had once been six, but at some point, a few accidents had happened. It had been a gift from his parents when Peter was a kid.<br/><br/>
All the pictures frames, photo albums, video tapes and similar things was also placed in the ‘keep’ box. Most of them were from his time with May and Ben, a few weeding photos from before Peter was born. But there were a handful of Peter and his parents. And his favorite, of May, Ben and his parents as well as himself. Richard and Ben had been close, but that was often how things were between brothers.<br/><br/>
May’s room were difficult, partly because Peter had been right to think it was a mess. The pillows and blankets were thrown on the floor, and there was blood. Had May had a nosebleed? Had May been bleeding from her head and Peter hadn’t noticed? That didn’t matter now, it was too late. But that was a lot of blood.<br/><br/>
And partly because Peter didn’t know how to deal with May’s stuff, and even less how to deal with what was left from Ben. Because of course there were still some of Ben’s belongings in the room.<br/><br/>
How do you deal with a big book collection?<br/><br/>
Or valuable jewelry?<br/><br/>
Old cloth there might be worth nothing to most, but could be life saving for others?<br/><br/>
What was the hardest to place, but ended up in the ‘keep’ box anyways, was a different box? It had been Ben’s. Ben’s secret box that Peter weren’t allowed to see. Now no one could stop him, could they.<br/><br/>
No, they couldn’t.<br/><br/>
So while Pepper were busy going through the books and jewelry, seeing if there was anything that had value, and Tony got an important company related phone call, Peter carefully slide the lit of the box.<br/><br/>
Ben had worked with the police. He was an office. He had medals for his bravery, and willingness to help people around him. He once saved someone from jumping of a building, and once he jumped in front of someone to protect them from being stabbed. And he knew Ben’s job left strong impression on him. It had become routine that occasionally Ben would ask to see Peter’s arms, because Ben had seen a young boy at Peter’s age cut. After everything with Skip, Ben had made sure Peter could get a restriction order, because he had seen kids being stalked by their old rapist and things happening all over again.<br/><br/>
Peter knew there were things Ben didn’t talk about, adult things. Things Peter didn’t need to worry about as a kid. Things Ben and May kept from him, for one reason or another. That included details about his parent’s work, and their death. It made sense and Peter never questioned it.<br/><br/>
Knowing now that his parents had worked with Shield after Natascha and Clint had told him, explained things. What Uncle and Aunt would tell a kid about how your parents worked for an organization that worked with superheroes now? How do you even tell a kid that?<br/><br/>
So opening Ben’s secret box, theoretically May’s too, he didn’t know what to expect. But it wasn’t… whatever this was.<br/><br/>
“Shit” he mumbled quietly under his breath, his body tensed, breath hitching in his throat.<br/><br/>
The box was filled with Shield fills, medical files, Ben old’s diary.<br/><br/>
He carefully picked it up. He knew Ben had used the diary to take notes on Peter’s many medical conditions. A log to show when he had last been sick, when had had an asthma attack.<br/><br/>
Everything from when he was late six - early 14. Some of it with more details than others.</p>
<p>
  <em>Peter is in gym class, the last lesson of the day, on a Friday, and their running laps. They are 3 months into the year, his first year a midtown. They are having a field trip to Oscorp the following week.<br/><br/>
Peter are excited.<br/><br/>
He isn’t sure if it’s because of field trip that everyone has been talking about for weeks, or the fact he and Ned are going to Ned’s place after school.<br/><br/>
It doesn’t matter. Today is a good day.<br/><br/>
At least it’s supposed to be.<br/><br/>
But his body has other plans, and as they run their third lap, Peter starts to wheeze.<br/><br/>
The rattling sound is one Peter is family with. It’s a sign his airways are starting to close up. It’s asthma.<br/><br/>
Peter had his first asthma attack when he was 7. A year after May and Ben took him in.<br/><br/>
He has taken medication through a preventer inhaler twice a day ever since. Morning and evening.<br/><br/>
He always has a reliver inhaler with him in his backpack or pocket.<br/><br/>
But despite medication, he has been hospitalized more times than he can count. The fact that he still got into midtown, despite all the classes he has missed through middle school is a magical and unexpected. But he’s happy and he loves it.<br/><br/>
So now that the wheezing starts, Peter knows what to do.<br/><br/>
He carefully stops running, takes a few deep breaths and makes it towards his backpack.<br/><br/>
His airways closing more and more up for every second, but not to a point of it becoming severe just yet.<br/><br/>
He pull’s open his backpack and opens the little container room where his inhaler is placed.<br/><br/>
It’s empty.<br/><br/>
His inhaler is gone.<br/><br/>
The wheezing is growing louder as he panics. He knows he shouldn’t panic; it will only make things worse, but he can’t help it.<br/><br/>
The feeling that his chest become tight is overwhelming.<br/><br/>
And soon the coughing sets in.<br/><br/>
Peter flags down Ned. Ned hold a spare inhaler for Peter, for emergencies only. But this is an emergency.<br/><br/>
Has he dropped his own?<br/><br/>
Did he forget to pack it?<br/><br/>
Is it still in his hoodie in the locker?<br/><br/>
Ned goes through his own back, searching for the emergency inhaler. Peter is sitting on the ground, shoulder tight, desperately trying to breath.<br/><br/>
It isn’t working.<br/><br/>
He can’t breath.<br/><br/>
He can’t-<br/><br/>
“Hey Punny! Looking for this” It’s Flash, laughing uncontrollably with hand gang, and in his hands is Peter’s inhaler.<br/><br/>
Peter want’s to say something, but doesn’t have enough air.<br/><br/>
Black spots are starting to dance in front of his eyes.<br/><br/>
He can hear Ned scream for a teacher, but it sound like it’s under water. He can’t make sense of it.<br/><br/>
Somethings pressed against his lips, ‘his inhaler’ Peter thinks weakly.<br/><br/>
He desperately tries to get the medication down into his lungs, but it fails.<br/><br/>
And the darkness pulls him down.</em>
</p>
<p>Peter remembers the day so clearly. It was the last asthma attack before Ben died. The following week he had been bitten by a radioactive spider, and his asthma had gone away.<br/><br/>
Peter hadn’t known what happened after. Well, that’s a lie. He knows that basics. Ben and May had been called. An ambulance had been called. He had been treated and woke up the next day. The doctors had been a little more careful sending him home, it had been bad.<br/><br/>
But in the end, he was back at school Thursday the following week, and ended up going on the field trip.<br/><br/>
But Peter hadn’t known quiet how bad that asthma attack had been. But one word in Ben’s diary from that day is stinging like a needle in his eyes. <strong>Intubation</strong>. Peter knew it had happened when he was little, before they learned how to control it. But Peter hadn’t known that during his last asthma attack in his life, he had been intubated. That was scary though.<br/><br/>
But what really catches his eyes is the last log in Ben’s diary. It’s from the morning before he died.<br/><br/>
<strong>Peter has mutated. His glasses is gone. His asthma is gone. His a growing boy, but growing boy’s don’t stick to the celling when they sleep.<br/><br/>
Peter, if you ever read this despite my rules, me and May and likely gone.<br/><br/>
Remember this isn’t your fault. You couldn’t have done anything, even with your powers.<br/><br/>
I believe in you, Pete.<br/><br/>
And remember.<br/><br/>
With great power, come great responsibility.<br/><br/>
And we love you, no matter what.<br/><br/>
I’m proud of you.</strong></p>
<p>***</p>
<p>It had been a stupid time to get a phone call, and Tony had really wanted to ignore it. But Ross wasn’t someone you ignored unless you wanted to be send to the raft. And with their newest family member, that raft wasn’t an option.<br/><br/>
So he picked up the phone, just to keep Peter safe.<br/><br/>
“Stark” Ross started, not even giving Tony a chance to say anything himself “The rouges are going to live with you at the compound when their trails are done tomorrow. I expect you to have rooms ready within the week”. That wasn’t what Tony wanted to hear, between Peter’s adoption, Pepper and his upcoming married and the apartment he was currently standing in, he didn’t have time or motivation to deal with the rouges.<br/><br/>
But he wasn’t granted a choice. That was going to be a hard one to explain to Pepper, and how was he going to keep Peter safe with rouges all over the place?<br/><br/>
He went through the phone call anyways, as fast as he could. Before reentering May’s bedroom.<br/><br/>
Pepper was still sorting through necklaces, and Peter was going through a box they had found in the bottom of the closet. But the kid looked, pale?<br/><br/>
“Shit” a quiet mumble came from the boy who with trembling hands took old of a book from the box.<br/><br/>
“Language” Tony said, with no real anger and snappiness in his voice. The kid didn’t react, just stared at the book’s pages. “Shit kid, are you okay? You look pale”. No response.<br/><br/>
Tony walks over slowly, Pepper is also alert now.<br/><br/>
Tony carefully sits next to the kid on the floor, squeezing his shoulder tight and looks over Peter shoulder and down in the book.<br/><br/>
“Ben knew” Peter whisper “Ben knew about my powers”.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Every picture tells a story</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Peter isn’t sure what to think of the idea that Ben knew. Ben knew all along. Yet Ben hadn’t blamed Peter the night he was shot. Ben had believed in Peter and told him everything were going to be okay.<br/>
<br/>
Peter had cried. Hugged Tony close. And at some point, Tony had guided them both out of May’s room and to what once had been Peters. The place were Tony and Peter had meet the first time, which held the spider-man suit in the addict and the plastic iron man helmet in a box under his bed.<br/>
<br/>
The room were Peter had written his own version of ‘with great power…’ and made it into ‘when you can do that things that I can, but you don’t…’. Same thing in the long run, but said by two different people, with different experiences.<br/>
<br/>
For Ben it had been because he felt like it was his right to do something, and that had inspired Peter. That much was true.<br/>
<br/>
But for Peter is was just as much the guilt of living when Ben died, that had caused him to fight.<br/>
<br/>
To protect.<br/>
<br/>
To look out for that little guy, as Tony would say.<br/>
<br/>
Peter doesn’t go back into May and Ben’s room. Instead he leaves it for Tony and Pepper to figure out. In the meantime, Peter goes through his own stuff.<br/>
<br/>
Like with all the other furniture in the apartment, it’s donated to charity. So it’s all about personal things. Cloths, the suit, Lego, his movie collection. And probably the most important thing, the box hidden under his bed, right next to the iron man helmet.<br/>
<br/>
He hadn’t pulled it out and gone through it since he got his ‘new’ suit back. He haven’t needed to. But now, part of him wants to. In a way he haven’t wanted to before.<br/>
<br/>
Because down there, deep under the red hoodie that once was his suit, is hidden things. Objects that Peter had been gifted from Ben over the years. Things Peter couldn’t get himself to look at after the accident. Peter knows what’s in the box. Every single item.<br/>
<br/>
Anyways he pulls it out and places it carefully on his bed.<br/>
<br/>
His new suit and his cloths are already pulled out of the closet and thrown into a duffel bag. And when he opens the box, his old suit is thrown in the bag too. That means the original web shooters, mask, hoodie, and sweatpants.<br/>
<br/>
The camera is what Peter picks up first. It’s old, used, and uses film. Peter remember taking photos with it everyday for months, Ben had found it cheap in a shaky store a few blocks from the apartment. Together with the camera lays a handful of pictures.<br/>
<br/>
One of them is a selfie and him, May and Ben. Some of them is of May and Ben in the kitchen, cooking. Ben was a better cook then May. Some of them were from birthdays, all of them blowing lights out. There’s one were they are visiting the animal shelter, and one were Ben drops of Peter on his first school day at midtown. There’s a few from the pound in the park, the winter before Ben died, they running around on ice skates.<br/>
<br/>
New ice skates, called Figure Skates. They were great to for when you wanted to do jumps on the ice, and even though Peter had been out of practice and didn’t get to use them more then twice, he loved them. Locking over the picture, and then running his figure over the high-quality skates which he had also hidden away in the box, almost made him miss the classes he took as a kid. Before his parents died, and for a short while after too. But with movie in at May and Ben’s place in Queens, it become clear it was too far to any good ice skating rinks were he could take classes.<br/>
<br/>
He’d kept it up for a while, going in the winter with Ned, but never gotten back to classes. May he should, with his newfound balance and asthma cured, he could probably do something amazing.<br/>
<br/>
There a picture from his first decathlon meet, when Liz was still the leader. There’s a picture of him and Ned building Lego in the living room. There’s a few of Ben teaching him guitar, and of Peter’s band, from before he dropped that like everything else. There’s pictures of the robots he build in robotics lab.<br/>
<br/>
There’s a USB in the box as well. A small sticky note, that isn’t sticky anymore, is placed on it and read out ‘Code’. He remembers that his own attempt at creating an AI. It never worked, not that any normal 8-year-old would be able to make an AI. But he tried anyways, and with a little help from Ned they had made something. That was an unfinished project. Likely to stay that way.<br/>
<br/>
When Peter has gone through the box, he pulls out the red and yellow plastic. It’s signed with a black marker, and when Peter had gotten home from the expo he had written his own text on the inside. Hoping never to forget that night. ‘Good job kid’.</p><p>
  <em>There’s a knock on his bedroom door, as he sits on the floor doing his homework. Floors had always felt comfortable, and unlike so many other things, floors don’t change. Doesn’t break like a chair or a table.<br/>
<br/>
Like a human that never comes back.<br/>
<br/>
It isn’t like dead.<br/>
<br/>
It’s the two anniversaries of his parents death.<br/>
<br/>
“Come in” Peter calls.<br/>
<br/>
Ben slowly opens the door with one hand, pushing it open with his foot, hiding something behind his back. “Hey Pete”.<br/>
<br/>
Peter smiles “Hi Uncle Ben!”.<br/>
<br/>
May follows in behind Ben a few second later, 3 cups on a tray, and sandwich. They join him on the floor, but Ben struggle by the lack of arms.<br/>
<br/>
“We got a surprise for you Sweetheart” May says, there’s something Peter can’t read in her voice.<br/>
<br/>
“You do?” Peter asks in disbelief. It isn’t Christmas, and it isn’t his birthday. They aren’t supposed to give him anything, are they?<br/>
<br/>
Ben pulls an iron man mask out from behind his back and places it down over Peter’s head. It’s a little too big, and it smells like cheep plastic. But he loves it anyways.<br/>
<br/>
“This is so cool!” Peter almost screams it.<br/>
<br/>
May smiles and Ben talks “Hopefully you can get it signed when we go to the expo later this year”.<br/>
<br/>
Peter jumps up from the floor and hugs first Ben, and then May close.<br/>
<br/>
Repeating thank you repeatedly.</em>
</p><p>“How’s things going in here?” Tony askes as he steps into Peter old room. It doesn’t look like a room anymore, more like an empty shell of a child. What once brought joy, many hours of Lego building, drawing, idea generating and homework completion, now only holds the memories of a different time, that Peter longs for, and would do anything to get back.<br/>
<br/>
He knows he can’t.<br/>
<br/>
“Alright… I think” Peter replies, his voice filled with emotion, but his head filled with numbness. He isn’t even sure how that’s possible. It just is. “Looking at old stuff” he says and carefully places the helmet into the box. It’s a little too big for it to be in there, so he can’t close it. It doesn’t matter, it will be stuff under his bed at the compound soon enough anyways.<br/>
<br/>
“Is that one of those toy helmets they used to sell?” Tony asks as he joins Peter on the floor.<br/>
<br/>
Peter nods, “Yeah, I wore it at your expo in 2010” Peter replies.<br/>
<br/>
“2010? God that year was chao” Tony replies “I hope you guys were okay”.<br/>
<br/>
Peter shrugs “I mean, a few bruises. May broke he wrist. Really we came out of it in good shape compared to what happened”. ‘I was almost killed’, Peter thinks, but leaves it out.<br/>
<br/>
“A kid was almost killed that night, was wearing a iron man helmet like your” Tony sighs “He was brave. Can’t imagen what his parents must have though”, Tony shakes his head, clearly seeing the picture of angry and sad parents in his head, trying to pick up the piece of their broken son.<br/>
<br/>
Peter looks down, takes a deep breath, and says, “I was that kid”.<br/>
<br/>
Tony takes a sharp breath, realization covering his face. “May would have killed me” he then states. There is no question to it, it’s isn’t a secret. May would have killed him. “I guess that explain her hate for me”, Peter nods.<br/>
<br/>
They leave the apartment slowly after, Peter stands a second longer in the hallway than he usually would. This is the last time he’ll ever stand here, soon some other kids’ family will live here. The place Peter called home for 9 years, and the place were Peter hung out even before then. The place filled with the bad moments, and the good times. The place that changed Peter’s life for the better, and for the worse.<br/>
<br/>
Peter’s home.<br/>
<br/>
Another kid will run away playing in the garden with the neighbor’s dog. Another aunt will burn the food, filling the building with a distant smell of smoke and fire. Someone else will call it their home.<br/>
<br/>
Peter would give anything to be that someone. To have May and Ben back. To have his parents back.<br/>
<br/>
But that will not happen.<br/>
<br/>
Peter wants to cry. Instead he turns his back to it, to his life. And walks out the door.<br/>
<br/>
Happy is already waiting in the crazy car parked outside.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Everyday is a chance to change your life</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey guys! So 1, I got a tumblr now!!! :D: https://ddringo.tumblr.com/</p><p>2. I might be a little slower at posting the next few weeks. My dad was working in the garden, placing a new cable into the ground yesterday, as my mom would love to have power in her small kabine which she uses for painting. And while doing so, my dad by mistake dug over our wifi cable, meaning I currently only got a shitty phone connection. Sorry...</p><p>3. Working on a different 1 chapter fanfic that is going to be part of the "not by blood" story line. Which I hope to post tomorrow. It's like, alternate reality kind of thing. :P So, I hope you are happy about that.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tony knew the cleanup of the apartment was going to be hard, just not that hard. So, when Peter went straight to his room when they returned to the compound, wasn’t a surprise. When Peter didn’t show up for dinner, Tony hadn’t expected anything different. That didn’t mean he didn’t make Peter a plate and walked down to place it on the kid’s side table together with a calorie drink. Just because something was hard, they both knew that Peter couldn’t starve himself any longer. It was becoming dangerous.<br/>
<br/>
At least Tony could see the kid was trying, that was more than Tony had done when his own parents died. But really, if it hadn’t been for Rhodey, Tony would have died of an overdose, in some shady bar bathroom.<br/>
<br/>
When Tony entered Peter’s room, he was happily surprised to see the kid awake and somewhat active. Jedi: Fallen Order was playing on the PlayStation, controller in Peter’s hands. It was a step in the right direction, and better than the kid laying under his blankets for hours. This was progress. Slow but steady.<br/>
<br/>
“Though you might be hungry” Tony says as he walks and sits on the edge of the bed “We made macaroni with cheese”. He sits the tray on the bed and pushes it carefully towards Peter. The kid had paused the game.<br/>
<br/>
“Yeah, Thanks” He says, his voice a little hoarse. He has been crying. Tony doesn’t call him out. He cried a lot himself when his parents died “Sorry I didn’t join you and Pepper for dinner”.<br/>
<br/>
Tony shrugs it off “It’s all good kiddo. Just do us a favor and eat something”. Peter nods, carefully takes the bowl of mac and cheese, and picks a bit. “So, you remember my deal with May, right? That was had to move back to the city?” Tony asks carefully.<br/>
<br/>
Peter nods “Yeah. I do. So it’d be easier for me to be around you, and still go to midtown and you know…” ‘visit May’ goes unsaid. They don’t need to.<br/>
<br/>
“I was thinking that maybe we should still do it” Tony says, “The compound isn’t a place for a kid to grow up”.<br/>
<br/>
Peter shrugs “I guess that’s be cool”. There is no excitement in his voice, Tony finds that he misses that. But he knows his Peter will come back to him sooner of later.<br/>
<br/>
“Great” Tony get’s up. Peter’s still eating. “I’ll talk to Pepper about it”.<br/>
<br/>
So that’s what he does. That night as he and Pepper lies side by side in their bed in their bedroom. Tony brings up Ross’s call.<br/>
<br/>
“Ross called” Tony states.<br/>
<br/>
Pepper tenses slightly “What does he want?”.<br/>
<br/>
“The rouges a moving in here, by the end of the week” Tony doesn’t say anything else, hoping Pepper understand what his saying, like she always is.<br/>
<br/>
“I have heard Rhodey’s neighborhood is quite nice” Pepper says, “I’m says the bit Tony Stark can get a place there, even if there aren’t any for sale”.<br/>
<br/>
“You know me so well” Tony says with a smile as he kisses Pepper on her cheek.<br/>
<br/>
“Yes well…” Pepper bits her life “I know you 12% better than you do yourself”.<br/>
<br/>
Tony sighs “I thought we dropped that topic a long time ago” he says, but there’s no real anger to it. She’s right, she knows him better than he does himself. </p><p>***</p><p>“So the funeral was last week” Mrs. Brown is sitting the compound, a cup of tea on the table next to her, and Peter is staring right at her nose, not wanting to make eye contact. But being to polite not to look up. “How does that make you feel?”.<br/>
<br/>
“I’m not sure” Peter says “I have never done well with the pitying looks and sad stares. May wanted people to just… move on”.<br/>
<br/>
“But you can’t?” Mrs. Brown asks. Peter shakes his head.<br/>
<br/>
“No. I can’t” Peter answers “But I’m not sure if it’s grief or something else”.<br/>
<br/>
Mrs. Brown takes a note “What makes you say that?”.<br/>
<br/>
“I mean, I don’t remember my parents that well, but I remember being sad they weren’t coming home” Peter says, his voice low. “I remember Ben’s death well, I was there. There was so much blood. And I cried and felt sad. But with May…” Peter cuts himself of. Dries his eyes with a hoodie arm and breaths.<br/>
<br/>
“It’s okay Peter” Brown says, “Take your time”.<br/>
<br/>
“… I just fell numb. I’m supposed to be sad and cry and get back on my feet. I’m Spider-man after all but” Peter shakes his head, body suddenly tense “But I just feel numb. I don’t want to leave my bed. I don’t want to do anything but have my life back and get some control!”.<br/>
<br/>
“Peter, everyone grieves in their own way” Brown says, “And people change. Feeling numb, is normal. Some people just feels like that. And it’s okay Peter. Do you understand that?”.<br/>
<br/>
“Yeah… I guess so” Peter says, eyes glued to the floor. Hands fidgeting.<br/>
<br/>
“Tony mentioned that you have been losing weight. Is that a part of the control you want?” Brown asks.<br/>
<br/>
Peter shrugs “I mean I guess it is. It’s not like I mean to do it, it just… happens. It’s easier when my stomach is empty, somehow”.<br/>
<br/>
“Is it always like that?” Brown asks carefully, going through her papers.<br/>
<br/>
“Sometimes more than others” Peter explains “It’s worse when things become overwhelming and I can’t do anything about it”.<br/>
<br/>
“Peter, I’d like to ask you a few questions. It’s only to help you. Make sure everything is like it should be and help you if it isn’t. Okay?” Brown meets Peter’s eyes “If I judge that there’s cause for concern, I’ll have to talk to your guardian, but right now I just want to ask questions” Peter nods.<br/>
<br/>
“How do you feel when people remind you to eat?” Brown ask, pen in her hand, ready to write.<br/>
<br/>
“I mean they right, with my metabolism I can’t afford not to eat but…” sigh “I feel watched and judged. I guess”, shrug.<br/>
<br/>
“Do you ever purge? Or trigger yourself to vomit?”.<br/>
<br/>
Peter shakes his head, he would never. “No. I mean… the thoughts been there, but I don’t”. Note.<br/>
<br/>
Peter answers the rest of her questions, soon their time is up, and Peter, for the first time since May died, goes down into the lab. Tony isn’t there, and neither are Bruce, both working on stuff for SI. Pepper in meeting him for lunch later in the day, but he got a few hours to spare. Time in the lab will do him good, he could build something, or program something, or play around with something. Anything, just to distract his busy mind.<br/>
<br/>
Soon enough his working on something on one of the holo-tables. It’s a idea for a safer airplane.</p><p><em>Peter small hands are desperately holding on to the robes holding the swing up above the ground. His swinging higher and higher and higher, hoping to see his parents’ plane. Ben says it isn’t possible, Peter tries anyways.<br/>
<br/>
Ben is grilling hot dogs, May reading in the grass next to the swing set.<br/>
<br/>
The sun is shining, is had been the whole week. That means they have hung out a lot outside the last few days. But Peter can’t help but miss his parents just a little.<br/>
<br/>
Ben and May are good, but not that good.<br/>
<br/>
Mom and dad work with a one-eyed man, that once stopped by their home. Mom and dad say they go on secret mission, when their gone. But Peter can’t tell anyone about it, he has to be quiet about it. Even when his with May and Ben, not that they don’t know, but they are scared someone else might find out.<br/>
<br/>
A police car pulls up into the parking lot, an officer makes it towards their apartment. May goes to talk to them, they look sad. May is good with sad people.<br/>
<br/>
Ben looks up, pulls the hot dog bread of the grill and waves for Peter to stop the swing. Peter doesn’t, instead he let’s got of the rob and jumps. Ben catches him before he hits the ground, he laughs.<br/>
<br/>
That’s the last time Peter laughs in a long time.<br/>
<br/>
Half an hour later, May tells him that Mommy and Daddy wont be coming back home.<br/>
<br/>
The hot dogs is forgotten, the grill burning out on it’s own, and swing silence and unmoving.<br/>
<br/>
That night Peter losses his appetite and doesn’t eat even when Ben by Pizza with Ananas. Peter just wants mommy and daddy.</em> </p><p>“-ter. Peter! You have to breath. You at the compound, in the lab. It’s just you and me, Pepper”. Someone is pulling his hands over and places it on something hot and moving. Pepper chest Peter realizes, and slowly and carefully tries to breath.<br/>
<br/>
His lungs are burning, panic bubbling in his stomach, his lightheaded. But soon he calms down as he follows Peppers breathing.<br/>
<br/>
“That’s right Peter. You gave me quiet a scare. You are feeling okay?” Pepper asks, her sweat tone fills her voice. A tone she only uses when she’s around people she cares about. That means she cares about Peter.<br/>
<br/>
“Do you think there’s something wrong with me?” Peter asks, quickly, and stumbles slightly over the words.<br/>
<br/>
Pepper shakes her head “Peter, everyone get’s anxiety attacks. And you’re a teenage hero, it’s not very surprising. You have been through a-“Peter cuts her off.<br/>
<br/>
“Not like that. Do you think” Peter gulps “do you think I might have an eating disorder” the words are scary, and somehow just asking, just saying the words out loud, lift something off his shoulders.<br/>
<br/>
Pepper things for a second “I don’t know. I think you might just be stressed, but you could ask Mrs. Brown what she thinks”.<br/>
<br/>
“She asked me these questions today… about food and eating habits” Peter whispers.<br/>
<br/>
Pepper face changed from sad to scared to confused to calm in the matter of seconds, “I’m sure she had her reasons. You know how Tony and I worry about you, and how your losing weight. But we also trust you when you say that it’s a stress thing. I’m sure Mrs. Brown is only trying to help”.<br/>
<br/>
Peter nodded “I’m sure your right… it just, scares me. I think”.<br/>
<br/>
“And that’s okay, right? Isn’t that what Brown always say?” Peter nodded; it was. It had become clear over the few session they had, that it was okay to feel anything, as long as he communicated that to someone, anyone. Whether that was Pepper or Tony of her, she didn’t care. As long as he spoke up when he needed something. Send her a text if his throughs were getting out of control. Or asked for help from any of the many people or government services there excited. He had to have a network that he felt like he could turn to, or at the way least have someone who could save him if they took at too steep turn a little to suddenly.<br/>
<br/>
That didn’t mean Peter was good at it, this was the first time he had openly talked about what was going on inside his head to anyone but Brown.<br/>
<br/>
“Still feeling up for lunch. You talked about the deli in Queens, didn’t you?” Pepper asked, a soft smile on her lips.<br/>
<br/>
Peter smiled, “Yes. I’m not sure when I last got one of their sandwiches”.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. As the world shall soon serve us</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Pepper took over watching Peter, talking with him, and hanging out with him when she had down time, while Tony and Rhodey got the compound ready for the rouges. Not that Tony had liked the idea of not watching out for Peter himself, Pepper was well aware of that. But he had agreed.<br/><br/>
So Pepper used her time, not only hanging out with Peter but also looking at houses. They would cook dinner together, Peter would eat what he could, and they would talk about what a house needed for it to feel like home. Of course, the most important part was the people living in the home, but everyone had some sort of need. Something that made them feel calm and relaxed.<br/><br/>
Pepper knew that for Tony that would be a workshop, and maybe even for Peter as well. So all the houses they looked at, had a basement or a big garage so that they could implement a workshop. Not a big one, but enough to deal with superhero suits, SI work projects, and calm tinkering. Nothing more, nothing less.<br/><br/>
A workshop also meant AI. And to be fair, Pepper needed that too after living most of her life with Tony or around Tony, and therefor having grown used to the AI. But unlike at the compound or the tower, there would be two AI’s. It had been Peter’s wish, not because he wanted to go out as spider-man (Pepper weren’t sure if that was good or bad), but he missed Karen to a point of having pulled out his mask just to talk to her. Even though Tony had offered to program Karen into his phone or laptop. Peter refused. Maybe because he knew, someone would notice when he returned to school. And even though Peter was going back to midtown, to Ned and MJ as he called them, Pepper knew he feared what they might think of Peter sudden change of living. Peter was humbled, didn’t ask for things, didn’t want to waste Money, but other people could still judge him on money. And probably already had, when Peter was living with his aunt, running around with an old bookbag, shoes with holes and a jacket at last 2 sizes to small.<br/><br/>
But both Pepper and Peter came from different kinds of home, than Tony did. Needed different things, and even if Pepper was used to Tony living style by now, she still had wishes to make a house that was comfortable for her. A nice kitchen connected to a living room or bigger dining area. Not something to fancy, it had to be choosy. Things could be fancy in public, and when she represented SI, but in private she needed something to relax in. A book corner, a fireplace, soft couches.<br/><br/>
Peter didn’t say much about what he wanted, other than the fact he wanted something small. That even if his room at the compound was awesome, greatly build and decorated, it also made him feel overwhelmed, and slightly scared about what was lurking in the shadows of the big room. But other than that, Peter didn’t ask for anything.<br/><br/>
Based on the apartment Peter had lived in, the place Pepper had helped pack down into cardboard boxes just a few days prior, had been home to Peter. And maybe Peter wasn’t read to build a new home, and maybe he wouldn’t ever be. To scared that he might lose it all over again.<br/><br/>
Pepper could understand that, and she knew Tony could too. Even if Tony would never admit it, Tony had never been ready to build a new home after his parents died. It had happened anyways, he found Pepper, and Rhodey, and Peter. But even then, Tony had hold back, and been scared. Pepper knew that was because of what happened in Siberia, hiding in his life like a constant reminder of the second home he lost in the Avengers. Even if they had been a team first and foremost, didn’t mean it hadn’t been family to Tony.<br/><br/>
But after what Peter and Tony called the ‘homecoming’ incident that had changed. Still was changing. And even though Tony didn’t know everything about Peter, and Peter didn’t know everything about Tony, they had a good effect on each other. And Tony had finally accepted that he could build a new home. Which was why Pepper was willing to give it a chance, even though when she said yes at the press conference, she hadn’t quite expected to be thrown into whatever this was. Not that se regretted, not at all. It was just different, in a good way.<br/><br/>
Maybe what Peter needed right now to build a new home, wasn’t a house or a safe place, but the people inside of it. Peter struggling, it was worrying, but there also seemed to be moment where things was a little less stressed out. Brown had said it was a good sign, that she was worried about a possible eating disorder developing, but right now things seemed to be going okay.<br/><br/>
Pepper hoped it would stay like that when the rouges came to the facility. Even if they were looking at house, they would still have to wait for another family to find something new and move out.<br/><br/>
They talked a few weeks at the compound, and Tony already stressed about how to keep Peter and rouges away from each other. And so far, Peter didn’t even know they were coming.<br/><br/>
“I’m going out tonight, meeting with Ned” Peter suddenly breaks the silence as they eat they homemade pizza.<br/><br/>
Pepper looked up from the Starkpad, “Do you need Happy to drop you off?” It was the first time Peter left the compound for anything that wasn’t strictly necessary since May had died. They were only right about to hit the 2 and half week mark, but it still felt like a long time. Peter going out was a good sign, Pepper knew that.<br/><br/>
“No” Peter shook his head “It’s fine. I’ll take the subway. I might stay the night if it get’s too late”.<br/><br/>
“Alright just be careful” Pepper smiled a little brighter. This was going to work. And soon enough, her, Tony and Peter would be a real family.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Peter wasn’t going to meet Ned. It was a lie, the only lie that Peter could make up right then and there. And with Tony being busy with an unknown project, and he therefor only had to fool Pepper, it was good enough. In reality had had gotten a message from Natasha, asking him to meet with her at a private location were Tony couldn’t watch.<br/><br/>
So Peter had thrown a dark hoodie in his backpack, computer, phone and headphones hidden underneath. And old shield fills from Ben’s secret box too hidden, hoping Natasha could tell him something about those when he anyways meets her.<br/><br/>
And then he had jumped on the subway making his way towards the meeting area.<br/><br/>
They were meeting in Queens; it had been Peter’s request. It would make the Ned lie a little easier to pull of, should Tony get wind of it. He could pretend that he and Ned had gone out to buy Pizza, or just for a walk, if anyone spotted him.<br/><br/>
Peter spotted Natasha before she spotted him, his enhanced sense allowing him to see the red hair in the distant, hear her distinct footsteps as she walked with a slow pace down the sidewalk. She was slightly looking up every few seconds, maybe she knew about his alter ego or maybe she as so many others were just looking up, hoping to catch a glimpse of and red and blue superhero that had as good as disappeared into the ground. The last picture of him, being the freefall where he caught Flash. He hadn’t known anyone had spotted him that night, the photo was blurry, it had been all over the media. Now people were starting to speculate that the boy in the photo might have done something to their neighborhood vigilant, but Peter just didn’t feel worthy of putting on the suit. Of being spider-man.<br/><br/>
Becoming a hero had been a split-second decision when Ben died, but now May was gone too, and Peter could but wonder if he had made the right choice. Maybe if he hadn’t been out and hadn’t talked to Flash he would have been alerted to May’s illness a little earlier. That though alone, made the idea of putting on the suit almost unbearable. He could have stopped it, just like he could have stopped it when Ben was shot.<br/><br/>
Peter carefully meet Natasha’s eyes, confirming that that they had seen each other, before he quietly ducked into a small restaurant that him and May always went to when they wanted Thai. Unless it felt like take out night, anyways.<br/><br/>
Peter took a corner table, in a booth, hoping to hide away a little. Natasha joined him soon enough, they ran through the menu without talking and ordered their stuff. The drinks, two big sodas, were the table withing minutes.<br/><br/>
“Good to see you again Peter” Natasha said, carefully taking a sip of her drink. The glass was cold, ice cubs making a noise as they hit the edge of the glass.<br/><br/>
Peter put a straw in his own drink, his sensitive fingers and lips not being a fan of the direct cold. “You too” Peter replied, “But I don’t think this is just about normal catching up”.<br/><br/>
Natasha smiled slightly “Your right, could easily become a good spy. Have Tony talked you about anything interesting lately?”.<br/><br/>
“He wants to move back to the city” Peter replied, “Looking at houses in Rhodey’s neighborhood”.<br/><br/>
Natasha frown “Any clue as to why?”.<br/><br/>
Peter shrug “I mean, he says he don’t want to break the promise he made to May, but I’m sure there’s something more behind it that I don’t know about” Peter took a quiet breath “Maybe in relation with this ‘project’ his been busy with the last week. Ross called, I heard him when he though I wouldn’t”.<br/><br/>
“You heard him? That’s impressive, Stark had always been careful with that. What did Ross want?”.<br/><br/>
The food came, they thank the older man, and started to eat. Natasha did anyways, Peter took a few careful bits, eating in public seemed to make him nervous today.<br/><br/>
“I can’t know for sure, it’s not like Tony have told me anything” Peter took a bit of rice into his mouth “But probably something in connection to the fact the rouges went free, after the trail a earlier this week”.<br/><br/>
“Something like that. Look, Peter, I’d hate for you to get caught in the crossfire, but I need eyes on the inside. Shield needs eyes on the inside of the compound” Natasha said, pain tone filled her voice. “The rouges are moving back in tomorrow morning”.<br/><br/>
“Why do you need me? Couldn’t you or Clint just, I don’t know. Move in on your own?” Peter asked.<br/><br/>
Natasha shook her head “Stark would know we were up to something. It’s different with you. Tony wouldn’t ever suspect that you were watching. And you clearly got talent, who trained you?”.<br/><br/>
“I’m not sure what you mean, I’m just tiny Peter Parker” Peter replied “I kinda just had to adapt to stay low so people wouldn’t notice. Helped with the bullying”.<br/><br/>
“Of course. That make sense” Natasha replied, “I’m sure whole the Spider-spy gig is more my taste”.<br/><br/>
“I’m curious, how long have you known about ‘me’?” Peter asked, “About my powers. Abilities”.<br/><br/>
“Since the night on the roof with Thompson” Natasha replied.<br/><br/>
“What do shield need, exactly?” Peter asked, “Details would be preferred”.<br/><br/>
“Some who’s close with Stark, someone who can change his mind about the rouges. Someone who knows him who can help him recreate a contact with the other avengers” Natasha said.<br/><br/>
“I mean, I would help, if I saw the purpose. But I don’t. They broke the law and destroyed the team. Captain America made decisions based on emotions, without reading through the accords. He protected a killer, someone who works for Hydra. I think I agree with Tony’s discussion” Peter meet Natasha eyes, she was left speechless, but quickly recovered.<br/><br/>
“That’s what he told you, he kept Wanda at the compound against her will? What if I told you that this killer that worked for Hydra was brainwashed, and that Tony just as much as Steve acted on emotions? He had a fight against Steve and Bucky because Bucky killed his parents, he had a right to be mad and hurt, but he still acted on emotions. We all did” Natasha spoke “When Tony created Ultron, he told us that, that, up there is the endgame. He saw something in the wormhole, under the battle of New York, and if we want a chance to defeat that the avengers have to work together. And it seems you might be the key to that”.<br/><br/>
“Okay, I’ll try” Peter replied “But I’m not exactly… Spider-man now. Not in a good place”.<br/><br/>
“I know Peter, but someone has to try, and Stark might listen to you. I’ll take care of the Steve side of things” Natasha added “You’re not alone in this”.<br/><br/>
Peter opened his backpack and pulled out the shield fill, “I need to ask a favor. I need to know more about this, it was my parents research in something called Project Oz”.</p>
<p>
  <em>“I’m so sorry sweetheart, but me and your mother have to leave. With Project Oz growing like this it isn’t safe” His father said, holding him close one last time before letting go of Peter, and walking out the door. Leaving him with May and Ben.<br/><br/>
His parents had talked about Project Oz before. Many times, before, but never what it really was.<br/><br/>
Peter just wished they would stay, because somewhere in his stomach was a weird felling, telling him not to let them go. Telling him that something wasn’t right.<br/><br/>
He just didn’t know what.</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Don’t talk, just act.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Natasha shows out to be right, the next morning when Peter returns to compound after spending the night at Natasha apartment looking through old shield fills trying to find something, anything on Project Oz, there’s a yet in front of the building.<br/><br/>
A few people Peter knows, and a few he doesn’t is getting off. There’s Steve, Bucky and Falcon of course. But there are also a handful of people with a darker, almost black skin tone. People who seem to be carrying technology that Peter has never seen before, and therefor has no clue what are.<br/><br/>
Peter’s best guess it that they’re from Wakanda.<br/><br/>
During Peter and Natasha conversation Peter had come to know, Wakanda had offered to help Bucky, or James Barns, get the trigger words removed. Natasha has also already informed Steve, Captain America of her plan, which mean, Steve knows his there and has some sort of connection to both Tony and Natasha. Peter just hopes Cap doesn’t connect the dots and out him as Spider-man. At least not yet.<br/><br/>
Peter pulls his hood over his head, tightens his grip slightly around the backpack strap and almost runs up the stairs to the front door of the compound. Begging that neither the rouge or Tony see’s him.<br/><br/>
But he’s not the lucky and Parker luck strikes almost as soon as Peter enters the compound. Because he run directly into Tony.<br/><br/>
“Peter were the hell have you been!” Tony voice is filled with anger and worry. But not like his about to take away Peter’s suit. Not that Peter cares about the suit at the moment, anyways.<br/><br/>
“I… I… sorry. I just…” Peter stammers, depart to come up with a good excuse for Tony. But he fails, he has nothing.<br/><br/>
“You told Pepper you were going to Ned’s, but Ned didn’t know where you were. You lied to us kid, you made us worried! You can’t just do-“<br/><br/>
“I was drinking!” It flies out of Peter’s mouth before his though it through, “I was just… drinking. Experimenting? May always told me I should enjoy life a little more and brake binderies, you know... She always told me about her teen life... and... and I need to get some space and… she always told me to take time and be a normal kid... and I... I just...” Peter trails off. Something in Tony softens slightly.<br/><br/>
“Relax Underoos… Just let us know next time. And look, I get it. Whole the teenage space thing and running away from home at night. Experimenting. Missing May. But we worry about you when you disappeared without a word, okay? Just, don’t do drugs… and… Pete, you know we care about you? Don’t follow in my steps, be better like I know you are. Ask for help”.<br/><br/>
“Eh, yeah… Of course, Tony” Peter replies. “Who owns the Jet?”.<br/><br/>
Tony tenses up “It’s no one you have to worry about kiddo. Just some people who will be staying for a while. But we will hopefully move back to the city so-“ Peter cuts Tony off.<br/><br/>
“I actually though about that, Tony. I mean, the city is cool and nice, but I wouldn’t mind taking from the compound to midtown everyday” Peter starts off “And the fact that we’re so far outside the city actually helps with my sense. I sleep better, you know. Less headaches. Less Sensory overloads”.<br/><br/>
“You want to stay at the compound?” Tony askes, something suddenly seems so wrong with Tony. Almost like he’s scared, but he can’t be. He’s Iron man. Peter nods. “Your going to have to explain that to me Underoos”.<br/><br/>
“How much have Mrs. Brown told you?” Peter already knows, really. Brown had told him. But just because Brown had told Tony, didn’t mean Tony had listened or understood any of it.<br/><br/>
Tony looks over Peter with something Peter can’t place. Maybe confusion “Enough. Higher risk of eating disorder. Something about keeping an eye out, just to be on the safe side. I didn’t want to break you trust, so I didn’t ask for details”.<br/><br/>
“She made me realized something. About the food. It’s a way of getting control, right?” Tony nods, listening and gives Peter his full attention. “And I though about it… and I realized, maybe if I took control over something else. Made choice, you know? So I though about it and, I just… I don’t think it’s going to help me if we go back to the city to some new house. Because is a place I already know and to get control things has to be known to me”.<br/><br/>
“Alright” Tony lays an arm over Peter’s shoulder “But the option of moving is still open if you need it or change your mind again”.<br/><br/>
“Yeah, of course Tony” Peter smiles, It’s fake and awkward. But it’s an attempt to make Tony believe him, “So who owns the jet...”</p><p>***</p><p>“I’m sure Tony got a good reason to keep you in the dark kid” Happy says as they are sitting in Tony’s private living room watching downtown Abby an hour later. Because of course Peter couldn’t be trusted to be close to the secret guest. Damn Tony and knowing Peter too well.<br/><br/>
“I know it’s the rouges” Peter replies. Happy face makes a weird twist.<br/><br/>
“Who told you that?” Happy asks.<br/><br/>
Peter shrugs “It just makes sense. I mean, they had trails earlier this week. It all over the news. Just makes sense”. Peter leans back on the couch, staring up the celling.<br/><br/>
“Your right” Happy says, pausing the TV “It is the rouges. And Tony got a reason he don’t want you near them”, he adds. “There happened a lot in connection with Germany that you don’t-“<br/><br/>
Peter cuts him off “But I do know!” His voice is slightly louder than normal because he is passionate about it. “I heard the phone call that night, at the hotel. I know about Siberia. I know what Barns did. Tony didn’t need to tell me, it was pretty easy to figure out, you know” Peter sighs, “Between his protectiveness and the way he always pales when someone talks about death, or the rouges or Captain America, it really didn’t take much” Peter shakes his head.<br/><br/>
Happy looks at him with a weird look Peter can’t place, is that confusion?<br/><br/>
“If you know what happened between Barns, Cap and Tony, you know more than me and Pepper and Rhodey does” Happy says, “You’d need a good spy to figure that stuff out, like Natasha”.<br/><br/>
Peter laughs lightly “More like my parents, really” he sits up “but I guess, they worked closely with Natasha is a few shield cases”.<br/><br/>
Happy face turns into pure shock “Your parents worked with shield?”. Peter shrugs.<br/><br/>
“Project Oz. Don’t know the details, just that they had to leave that night because of a work emergency” Peter meets Happy eyes “I’m sure May would have told you, at some point if things were as serious as they seemed”.</p><p>
  <em>“I’ll be home late tonight Honey” May says are their eating breakfast together on a Friday morning. Peter has school in just about an hour, and after school who hopes to go out patrolling.<br/><br/>
“I through your shift ended early tonight?” Peter askes, May works longs shifts most Fridays, but once a month, she always get’s off early. Just like she always has to work either at Christmas or New Year’s Day.<br/><br/>
May smiles in a way Peter hasn’t seen since Ben “I’m doing on a date, actually”. Peter stares at her with a curious look.<br/><br/>
“With who, if I may ask?”.<br/><br/>
May laughs quietly “With Happy, Tony’s serious guard”.<br/><br/>
“Your going on a date with HAPPY?!” Peter also screams, that’s can’t be true. Happy and May does not fit together. That can’t be happening. Spider-man and Peter Parkers life’s are colliding, like two planets being mashes togethers with an describable force.<br/><br/>
What if something happens to her? What if something happens to Happy? Or what if something happens to Tony, that somehow puts Happy in danger, or makes him a target, would May then be a target too?<br/><br/>
AND what if… just if, Happy broke May’s heart?<br/><br/>
“It’s just a date, Peter. You don’t have to worry to much” Mays says, Peter is about to replies when she continuous “I can see all the thoughts going through your head, but it’s okay Peter. It’s just a date”.<br/><br/>
Peter nods and then get done with breakfast.<br/><br/>
Peter sends a message to Happy stating that “If you break her heart, don’t be surprised if you get a visit from a vigilant”, Happy replies, seriously that he is aware and he wouldn’t dream of hurt her.<br/><br/>
That night May comes home with a smile of her lips.<br/><br/>
And Peter thinks, maybe, just maybe, this is going to be okay. Not that Happy could ever replace Ben. And they all know it. Peter doesn’t need to point it out.</em>
</p><p>“Your Aunt was a great woman” Happy says, love and fondness in his voice. Maybe his thinking back to their first date? Or that time were Happy cooked dinner for the three of them? Or Maybe, he just tries to remember how May would walk, and talk and smile.<br/><br/>
Feeling the love for her all over again, even if she’s gone and wont be coming back.<br/><br/>
Peter let’s a smile fall on his face “You loved her” Happy just nods.<br/><br/>
They sit in silence for a while, Friday turns of thee TV. Their just sitting there, together. Thinking about the most important woman in their lives. About what they hoped and dreamed about.<br/><br/>
Peter can’t really help but wonder if there is a world, a universe out there, were May is still alive. Were she didn’t die, or maybe were she wasn’t even hurt in the first place.<br/><br/>
“It’s Christmas in two weeks” Happy suddenly says, breaking the calm, quietness.<br/><br/>
Peter nods “Yes, it is”.<br/><br/>
Happy take a deep breath, he blinks away a few tears. His eyes are red rimed. “What would you say to you and me doing something fun before Christmas? We could go see May’s grave, eat dinner at this little restaurant in Queens May loved, watch one of your Star Wars movies…” Happy trials off.<br/><br/>
“That…” Peter looks down into the floor “That sounds great”.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Don’t say, just show.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I was thinking last night, and realized, that I can place my fanfiction into 5 acts. Seeing things in pieces, help me realize were I knew how to write what I wanted, and were I wasn't quiet as sure.</p><p>We have just started second act, the part I'm the most unsure on how to write. So my upload speed my slow down a little over the next few days, until I figure everything on completely. The last 3 acts is already planned out to detail, with act 4 being my personal favorit. So, I can't wait for that to start (I'll give you a heads up).</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Tony” Happy tries again, as his watching Tony hid out in lab like he has done so many times before. It isn’t new, and Happy’s used to seeing Tony covered in oil, nose deep inside some car or fixing a suit.<br/>
<br/>
“Tony!” Happy says, this time louder as he moves through the workshop and slams his fist into the table in front of Tony.<br/>
<br/>
Tony looks up “This better be important”. And it is important, in some way, Happy suppose. More important than an empty suit at least. Ten times more important than any SI project about clean energy. And Happy knows it’s more important than even Tony own life.<br/>
<br/>
Because it’s all about Peter.<br/>
<br/>
“It’s about the kid” Happy says, and Tony freezes for just a seconds before composing himself.<br/>
<br/>
“What about the kid?” Tony asks “Did he go patrol? About time. Did he pass out again from not eating? Let Cho place a feeding tube. I’m busy with the rouges”. And Happy knows this is Tony’s way of hiding the fact that he worries. This cold side is a mask that his been rearing most of his life, and Happy has only seen it go down twice in his years of working for Tony. At least till the kid came into the picture.<br/>
<br/>
Once when he saw a video recorded by the military. It’s granny, filled with sand and the sun makes it almost impossible to see anything. But sure enough, there is Tony, a cloth draped over his head as he falls to his knees and hugs Rhodey with one arm.<br/>
<br/>
Happy had picked Tony up at the airport when he finally returned home, around 24 hours after he was found. But seeing that video, seeing that part of Tony he didn’t know existed.<br/>
<br/>
Second time was when Tony had returned from the mandarin case and had seen Happy awake. That day Happy had realized that Tony and him were more than just colleagues.<br/>
<br/>
“The kids know about the rouges” Happy states.<br/>
<br/>
Tony stares at him for a minute, reading him and trying to figure out if Happy is joking. But Happy isn’t, and Happy knows, that Tony knows that already. “Why would you tell him?!” there’s bit to Tony voice as he says it.<br/>
<br/>
Happy shakes his head “I didn’t. The kid figured it out on his own” Happy sighs, “He also seem to know more about Siberia than Pepper, Rhodey or myself”.<br/>
<br/>
“Well I didn’t tell him” Tony says, “And Friday would have told me if Peter had talked to the rouges…” there’s a pause “right?”.<br/>
<br/>
“Currently Boss” Friday chimes in.<br/>
<br/>
“Tony I’m serious here” Happy says, “The kid knows more than he let’s on. I don’t know how much, but more than he should. I don’t know how”.<br/>
<br/>
Tony goes back to his work “If this is you trying to figure out what happened in Siberia, then you sinking real low making up rumors about the kid”.<br/>
<br/>
“It isn’t-“ Happy cuts himself off “What do you know about Peter’s parents?”.<br/>
Tony looks confused “I don’t see how that matters” he states but answers anyways “I only know that they died in a plane crash when Peter was, what? Six years old”. Happy knows that too, Tony had warned him about that when they were going on the jet to Germany. Maybe slightly fearing that Peter would be scared, and Happy got that. But the kid had just been happy and energetic, smiling and exploring and recording the hole way.<br/>
“They worked with shield” Happy says “Peter told me before dinner with me and Pepper. Which you totally should have joined”.<br/>
“If you hadn’t noticed I were forced to join team dinner” Tony mutters.<br/>
<br/>
Happy laughs “Stay on track Tony, the kid”.<br/>
<br/>
“Yeah, yeah. The kid. I would have known if his parents used to work for shield” Tony says, “I mean we both know about the data leak when Shield fell. The information should have been easy for Friday to find”.<br/>
<br/>
Happy shakes his head “Could it be possible they kept him of record? Like Barton dose with his kids and wife?”.<br/>
<br/>
Tony hands freezes, and “Dammit! Your right…” he looks up, “So what, you think his working for shield or at least gets information from them?”.<br/>
<br/>
Happy shakes his head “No. You and me both know Peter wouldn’t do that. It’s a just a point, you didn’t know about Peter’s parents, but if that’s the case you can’t rule out that the kid could have gotten information about what happened in Siberia”.<br/>
<br/>
“Alright Happy, look. Let’s say Pete actually knows about Siberia” pause, “and that a big ‘Maybe’” Tony shakes his head “Then what exactly could he use the information for? His on our side, I’m his guardian, we have worked with him… Together with him for a year. There’s been ups and downs, but I don’t think Pete is going to sell his information to the press or anything” Tony sighs “And I can’t see other use for that information”.<br/>
<br/>
“I didn’t say Peter was going to use the information for anything. I just thought you might want to know about it?” Happy isn’t sure if he asks and tells. It isn’t important anyways.<br/>
<br/>
“Pete changed his mind, he wants to stay at the compound” Tony says, “He snuck out last night, threw an excuse about teen drinking at me when he returned this morning. Why he lying to us all of a sudden Happy?”.<br/>
<br/>
“Talk to him Tony, hiding in a lab wont help either of you” Happy states, “And while your at it, maybe it’s time to trust someone, anyone with what happened in Siberia. I want the same thing as Peter, we want to understand why your reacting this way”.<br/>
<br/>
Tony looks down, into the floor. Let’s his hands rest in his lab, shaking his head. It’s one of the things Happy has come to identify as Tony’s way of thinking when things could go wrong. It started after Ultron. After a killer droid, AI that wanted to destroy the Avengers. Since then it had been used more time than Happy could count, during Civil war, that night the plane crashed, the day’s after May parker died.<br/>
<br/>
“Friday, could you pull up the video from the bunker” Tony asks the AI.<br/>
<br/>
A holo-screen puts up in front of Happy. There’s a timestamp, and address in the corner of the video. It’s a view of a street. December 16, 1991. The night Tony’s parents died.<br/>
<br/>
Only a few seconds into the video, a car in high speed crashes into a tree. A man crawls out the car at the same time as a bike comes driving. Happy can’t make out the faces in the granny video footage, but what he can make out is how the man on the ground I brutally killed while his wife in the car is calling for him. At least, until she turns quiet.<br/>
<br/>
The video ends with a better picture of the murderer, looking right into the camera and shooting it into pieces.<br/>
<br/>
Happy is speechless. Dumbfounded, confused. Because he knows that face just as well as Tony does. As any Avenger dose. And maybe Peter knows that face as well. Happy knows they fought in Germany. Knows that the kid, Spider-man managed to web up both the ex-hydra assassin but also Falcon in the span of minutes. Alone. Before being pulled through a video by the drone, Redwing.<br/>
<br/>
Tony doesn’t say anything, but Happy can see a tear roll down the billionaire’s eyes. These people in the video, weren’t just anyone. They were Tony’s parents.<br/>
<br/>
“That’s how you got hurt in Siberia, Cap and you fought because of, this” Happy asks. Tony doesn’t reply with anything but a nod. “I’m so sorry Tony. I, didn’t know. Why didn’t you tell anyone what happened, why keep it secret?”.<br/>
<br/>
Tony doesn’t reply, Friday turns of the holo-screen and after a few seconds, Happy walks out. Leaves Tony to himself for a minute, because he can’t do anything else.<br/>
<br/>
Just hope that Tony will come to him, or Pepper or Rhodey. That Tony will come to anyone when he needs it. Because Happy understands why that must have been hard. Tony had told him about Cap lying to him, had told him that Cap lied about something unforgivable. But he never imagined that. No one would have.<br/>
<br/>
What Happy isn’t sure about, is how the kid would know. Peter isn’t a spy, and if Tony didn’t tell Pepper or Rhodey, why would he tell Peter?<br/>
<br/>
The answer is, he wouldn’t.<br/>
<br/>
Happy walks into the kitchen on the main floor, in Tony’s and Pepper private quarters. Pepper and Rhodey is cooking. The smell of fried rise with seasoning, and the sound of the knife meeting the chuck board as Rhodey cut the vegetables small bit size pieces.<br/>
<br/>
It was likely one of Pepper vegetarian dishes, they had joked about introducing them to the kid. But Happy wasn’t sure if it was true or not, or when they planned to start it. But seemingly he got his answer now.<br/>
<br/>
“Introducing Peter to vegan food?” He asks quietly.<br/>
<br/>
“Peter has locked himself in his room the same way Tony does with the workshop, so I doubt it” Rhodey replies, letting go of knife and sitting down on one of the island chairs. “His room is on do not disturb”.<br/>
<br/>
“Oh so we got two geniuses locking themselves away at the moment” Happy says.<br/>
<br/>
Pepper looks up “Last I check Tony did let people into his lab, so he isn’t locking himself away. Yet”.<br/>
<br/>
Happy shakes his head “I might have made a mistake. Has he ever told you about Siberia?” Rhodey and Pepper shakes their heads “Well, he told me today. After some stuff happened with the kid. I don’t really know half of it”.<br/>
<br/>
By the time dinner is ready Peter has still locked his room down. Tony on the other hand joins the rouges again, Friday informed them. Something about Ross not giving him any choice.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Don’t promise, just prove.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm back after my little break! I got a lot of stuff that I'm working on right now, including a small 3 chapter fanfictions for The Flash/Barry Allen. Which is going to be my first time exploring that through fanfiction, both to test how to write that specific kind of tone, because it's different than this... whatever this is. But also (spoiler alert) I hope to do a combined universe with Peter Parker and Barry Allen. So it's good to get a feel for what I'm writing. Soooo... look out for that? :D</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The team is chatting up until the point were Tony enters the eating aera. Really, he’d much rather eat some of Pepper’s vegan food, compared to sitting together with people he haven’t see in over a year. But what can you do when you contract says something? Not that it had been a part of the original accords, but with the new version, allowing the team to be at the compound in the first place, it had been added.<br/><br/>
Maybe that had been what Ross talked about, when he said that ‘Give me Spider-man or your life will be living hell’. Or something along those lines.<br/><br/>
And of course, Tony hadn’t given up Peter to Ross. Tony could have, back with the ferry incident, or right after Germany. Before the emotional connection between the two had been created. But Tony had somehow chosen not to. And he didn’t regret it at all.<br/><br/>
When he did enter the eating area, joining rest of the team around the table, silence fell over the room. An awkward silence, that Tony would give anything to fill out with Peter’s rambling.<br/>
He greeted the team with a nod, and they returned the gesture.<br/><br/>
While most of the team, here including Steve, Sam, Barns, and Natasha had first showed up today, the others had showed up already the day before. Meaning that the first night had included himself, Vision, Wanda and Bruce. Rhodey had special permission not to join them do to possible PTSD and both Clint and Scott had been allowed to stay with their family (Tony wanted to argue that he should do the same, seen as he was newly assigned guardian of a teen boy, but he didn’t want it to be public knowledge. At least not yet).<br/><br/>
They eat in silence for a while, before Bruce were the one to break the quietness of the eating area. And Tony found it calming and easy, to start talking science with Bruce. Even if he had gotten used to Peter constant energy, when they were talking about new design ideas.<br/><br/>
By the time almost everyone was done with their dinner, Natasha had joined Tony and Bruce. And there were a light summing between most of the other’s as well.<br/><br/>
Hopefully things would stay that way.<br/><br/>
What Tony hadn’t expected was a text message from Pepper asking for help. His first though was that, maybe, just maybe… she had created a lie to get him out of the dinner area with the rouges. But when he saw Peter’s name in the beginning of the message, he knew he weren’t the lucky.<br/><br/>
“Excuse me, it’s a family emergency” Tony says and shows his open text message up. People likely couldn’t read it, but at least they could see he did actually have a message.<br/><br/>
But as Tony went to stand Natasha placed a hand on his shoulder “I’m sure Pepper is fine, and Ross would likely prefer whole the team to stay here till everyone is done”. The rouges hummed in a agreement with Natasha. And Tony knew Natasha was right, but what if something had happened? It wouldn’t be surprising after what Happy told him earlier that day.<br/><br/>
Tony takes a deep breath, knowing that showing anger right now likely wont help his case the slightest. “It isn’t Pepper. And I would only be called if there was a good reason for it, like a medic-“.<br/><br/>
“Tony, I’m sure Friday would let all of us know if there was a medical emergency” Steve speaks up from his seat next to Barns, who’s looking as his food it had somehow offended him in some way.<br/><br/>
One more text pop up on his phone, followed by a notification from Friday. Tony looks to Bruce and shows him the messages, and he could than the god right in that moment.<br/><br/>
“Tony you go and make sure he eats something” Bruce says, “He likely haven’t eaten since he came home, and his blood sugar is likely to drop below safe levels soon”. Tony smiles quickly at Bruce and pushes out the chair and walks out of the room.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>See the messages from Pepper and the notification from Friday, almost sent shivers down Bruce’s spine.<br/><br/>
He had seen the kids vitals drop like that before, often after not eating for a extended period of time. But now, the kid was still trying to gain more weight on. So seeing that drop made him want to go to the kid’s room himself and stab him with a needle.<br/><br/>
But he knew that likely wasn’t going to help anything. If that kid had locked himself in, Tony was the best bet until the kid fainted and Friday would allow a medical override.<br/><br/>
So Bruce let Tony go. He would deal with questions from the team.<br/><br/>
“Bruce, you can’t just let Tony leave dinner. The rules count for him, just like everyone else” Steve points out as soon as Tony has left the room.<br/><br/>
Bruce meets Steve’s eyes and throws him off, “Very delicate Medical stuff. Can’t give you the details. It’s classified”. Bruce smiles lightly “And no mind reading Wanda, don’t even think about trying. Understood?”.<br/><br/>
Wanda looks slightly annoyed before giving a stiff nod in reply.<br/><br/>
“In this in…” Sam swallows loudly, “Is this in connection with Rhodey’s crash in Germany? No one has seen him doing military stuff in quiet a while”. Well it wasn’t, but Bruce didn’t have much a choice if he wanted to keep peoples noses out of things. Which he knew Tony wanted, since the kid had a secret identity and all that. And Rhodey were open about his injuries, not even locking them in Friday’s system, so anyone had access to them anyways.<br/><br/>
“Uh… yes. It is” Bruce nods, and tries to look serious “Paralyzed from the waist down. Friday got the details if he hasn’t locked it”.<br/><br/>
And it works, the team looked shocked between each other gasping slightly and then ask Friday if they can get the details about the injury.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Seeing Peter’s blood sugar trigger an alarm for Friday (something Tony had implemented after the kids first weekend of starving himself to a point of fainting) was scary. But at least better than standing with a limp teen in his arms, that hadn’t eaten in days.<br/><br/>
So a quick stop by the kitchen to grab some of the food Pepper had created, and a calory drink while he was at it, and then he want to the kids room faster than he even thought he could.<br/><br/>
He knocked on the door, carefully with his foot “Pete, could you please let me in”. It only took a second before Friday opened the door for him. And Tony walked into the seeing Peter sitting in the floor, leaning against a wall, looking slightly pale and dizzy. So Tony just hands him the calorie drink without saying anything. And then sits the plate down on the floor as well and placing himself in front of the kid.<br/><br/>
“I though we were over the stage of starving yourself Pete” Tony says, “Your worrying me you know” Tony points out. The kid take a drink from the bottle.<br/><br/>
“Sorry” he mumbles in a quiet tone “But your have been busy, and I needed to talk to you. But between the rouge and hiding yourself in the lab, it’s hard. So I did this to make you show up, even though that might have been stupid. Bound to be seen on the weight next week and Cho’s going to be so mad…” Peter bits himself in his lip, realization of his rambling clear on his face. Tony can’t help but smile slightly. God this kid.<br/><br/>
“How did you even figure out who was coming? I was very quiet about it” is the first thing Tony says. And maybe that’s a mistake, because Tony isn’t sure he wants to know. What if Happy was right that the kid knows more than he let’s on.<br/><br/>
“Between you and me, it really wasn’t that hard. They had trials, went free. Were else were they supposed to go” Peter points out, “And I guess I might have a contact”.<br/><br/>
“Oh yeah, Happy told me” Tony sighs “Shield was it?”. Peter grins slightly and nods. He looks like he’s about to laugh, but don’t because of the drink in his mouth.<br/><br/>
He swallows “To be honest, I didn’t know it was kept of records until the day of the funeral” Peter points out. “And that isn’t really important. It’s not like I got contact to shield. A friend just wanted a little help, and though I was the best way to get it done”.<br/><br/>
“Please tell me you didn’t talk to Fury, I swear I’ll pull out his good eye if he as much as-“<br/><br/>
“CALM DOWN” Peter’s voice is loud, in a way that’s so unlike him. So different. So depressed almost. “I didn’t talk to Fury. I wouldn’t dream of it, I’m not interested in Shield stuff. Secret identity and all”. Tony nods. He should have guessed that. “My friend, want me, to get to you”.<br/><br/>
“As in Shield want my tech or do I have important information they want or?” Tony asks, because he isn’t sure what to expect.<br/><br/>
Peter shakes his head, finishes the drink “No, not like that. Look…” Peter trails off, looking like someone who is searching for the best way to say it. “I know you lied, about Germany. About Barns, and the brainwashing, and locking Wanda up. I know how Barns killed your parents, and I know that Steve weren’t the only one acting on emotions”.<br/><br/>
Tony snorts “That’s one way to look at things, kiddo”.<br/><br/>
“Tony, you saw something when you flew through the worm hole. You saw something, and we all know that something isn’t giving up yet” Peter says “And my friend, and Shield thinks the team needs to work TOGETHER to defeat whatever is out there… that out there, Tony. That’s the endgame”.<br/><br/>
“So what I’m hearing in, your friend wants me to forgive the rouges for what they did?” Tony askes. Peter nods, “And what do you get out of this?”.<br/><br/>
Peter smiles shortly before his face turns serious, with an undertone of sadness. “Shield got information on some of my parents work. I only know the basic’s about it, but I think it might be important to some bad guys. I want it, and I’ll destroy it”.<br/><br/>
“Alright Underoos” Tony pulls him tight “I’ll try, I promise”. But Peter tenses up and pulls away, meet’s Tony eyes and says:<br/><br/>
“Don’t promise, prove to me you’ll try”.<br/><br/>
Tony sighs “And how would I do that?”.<br/><br/>
“Stop keeping me from them, the second you trust them enough for me to be around them… then I know you can fight with them” Peter says. Tony agrees. But he knows he’ll regret it. Damn, 13 is never going to be his lucky number.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Memories is a way to tell what’s important to you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry for the slow upload. I post as much as I can!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It takes a week before Tony finally seem to relax just slightly when walking around the compound. Before Peter is allowed to meet them and talk to them.<br/><br/>
And Peter does that as soon as Tony has given him green light. Even if that green light means he always has to have Bruce or Rhodey or Tony with him. Peter can’t help but think it’s a waste, since Friday can keep an eye on him, but Rhodey seems to agree with Tony on it. So Peter doesn’t fight it.<br/><br/>
Not yet at least. Because really all he knows about the rouges is what happened in Germany, public information, and the info Natasha gave him that night at the restaurant.<br/><br/>
So that first time Peter talk to the other Avengers, is at team dinner that week. And both Pepper and Rhodey joins too.<br/><br/>
Not that dinner is that interesting. No one questions his presence, thank God for that. But no one really talks either. Tony and Bruce talk a little about science, a few of the other disuse some Shield mission they are supposed to do that night. Something about destroying some place trying to recreate the super soldier serum. Peter doesn’t really care at this point.<br/><br/>
And if Peter thinks this is bad, he’s glad he didn’t see it a week ago. The pictures he can imagen of tense superheroes, silently eating dinner, is more than enough.<br/><br/>
And as soon as people are done eating, Tony runs to hide in the workshop. Like he has done every day since the rouges moved in. ‘Tony what the hell happened to try’ Peter can’t help but think. But he just like everyone else knows that he should point it out. Tony needs a minute, and really Peter might need a minute too.<br/><br/>
Just for different reasons, in form of hiding on the roof, waiting for Natasha so they can do statue report.<br/><br/>
“Паук” Natasha greets as she joins him on the edge of the roof. Friday knows they are there, but can’t watch them, or record them. So it works.<br/><br/>
“What dose Pa-uk means?” Peter asks, stumbling over the strange and unfamiliar word. Russian if Peter had to guess, but Peter isn’t that sure in language yet, at least not other than English and Spanish. But he nails both, so really it shouldn’t matter. Peter can get by in most of the world, even if Tony thinks Italian and French would be good too. Peter doesn’t care, neither interest him. So he wont even try to learn them.<br/><br/>
But maybe he should try something that isn’t as common, like Swedish, or Danish? He should look into that.<br/><br/>
Natasha laughs quietly “It means Spider in Russian” So Peter was right. Great. He smiles quietly. “So this isn’t working. You did talk to him, right?” She asks.<br/><br/>
Peter nods “I did, it just didn’t give as much effect as I hoped it would”. Peter shakes his head, looks up onto the star sky above them, and hopes Natasha is wrong. That nothings coming. But every time he thinks about it a little too much, focus his sense a little to far out, he knows she’s right. “So what’s next step?”.<br/><br/>
“I was thinking a team activity” Natasha shrugs, “But then you wouldn’t be able to help. It took quiet a while before Tony trusted us enough to let you eat with us. And I wouldn’t have the slightest clue how to change that”.<br/><br/>
Peter can almost feel his eyes light up as an idea pops into his head “What if Tony didn’t know I’d be there? We could go to a skating rink, spend some time on the ice. I used to take classes as a kid, so if Tony asks, I would be able to brush it off as revisiting an old hobby!!” Peter can feel the excitement for the idea bobble in his stomach. He hasn’t actually been out on skates in a really long time, but he planned to. Wanted to start it up again, and with living and Tony and Pepper he had wondered if it would be an option. Not that he liked the idea of taking their money, but, he also knew Tony always insisted. So maybe is wouldn’t be too big of a deal to ask.<br/><br/>
“That would work” Natasha agrees. They plan it out and Natasha goes down to plan the ice skating with team. But Peter stays behind on the roof, the cold night air makes him a little extra cold because of his spider powers, but it nice and calm.</p>
<p>
  <em>“MAY! BEN! Look!” Peter points to the TV screen were there’s a live broadcast of the Avengers fighting aliens, flying out of a giant portal in the sky.<br/><br/>
But that isn’t what has caught Peter’s attention. It’s the red and gold suit that flying into it, with what Peter’s nerdy brain can only guess to be an atom weapon.<br/><br/>
Most of New York is trying to escape. Driving like crazy away, running, screaming. But May and Ben both fought hiding would be better. And it isn’t like Queens has been hit yet.<br/><br/>
“His going to space” Peter’s voice I filled with love and excitement as he slowly moves closer to the TV, smiling at the screen, face glued to it. Like macaroni on paper. Not that Peter would know that, he isn’t creative. At least not in that way. Peter likes science better.<br/><br/>
Ben laughs quietly at him “He sure is” Ben nods.<br/><br/>
And then the portal starts to close, and Iron Man is still in there. And Peter forgets how to breath, and how to function. And how to do anything… and and…<br/><br/>
… suddenly his dropping. Down towards the ground and HULK! The big green hulk jumps to get him. And Peter’s clapping his hands hard to together, smiling and giggling and smiling. And both May and Ben claps too, but a little lighted, before they pull Peter into one of their awesome team hugs!</em>
</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>“How did the Avengers become a team” Peter blurs out as he and Tony is sitting in the lab later that night. They are working on their own project, Tony’s being the Iron Man suit, and Peter’s being a new idea for his sensory issues.<br/><br/>
Because while noise cancelling headphones and sunglasses can take the top, it looks weird and can’t take all of it away.<br/><br/>
So Peter’s idea is to one, make contacts with the same type of technology as the sunglasses he and Tony programmed together when Tony first found out about Peter’s sensory issues. And instead of noise cancelling headphones Peter is going to make a mini version of acoustic panels put together of a ton of small squares, that sticks out to different levels. To create the best way of deflecting and/or soundproofing the human ear.<br/><br/>
Only problem with the mini acoustic panels it that he can’t just use any material and get a good effect. While a prototype of steel and a titanium-gold alloy works, what he really needs is Vibranium.<br/><br/>
Not only is it the strongest metal on earth, but it Vibrates (therefrom the name) at a frequency that combined with Peter’s design, could block out everything. Not only for a normal human, but also from someone with enhanced sense like Peter’s, or at least when they are flushed enough with the inner wall of the ear as possible. Meaning, they likely would have to be custom made for everyone with an interest in them.<br/><br/>
And Tony, the amazing Tony Stark, has promised to ask the Wakanda king if it’s possible to get Vibranium for the project. Or buy some at the very least. But with everything about how Wakanda is careful with their tech, Peter doubts he’ll actually ever get to as much as touch Vibranium.<br/><br/>
“Huh?” Tony looks up from his work, confusing on his face. Peter isn’t sure if Tony just didn’t hear the question or if he isn’t sure he heard it right, why would Peter care about the avengers anyways, right? So Peter just repeats himself, a little more quietly. A little more carefully, scared of the reaction he might get from Tony.<br/><br/>
It’s the first time since the Rouges came to the compound Peter had joined Tony in the lab. The first time since May. And Peter knows, Tony hates personal or emotional stuff.<br/><br/>
“How did the Avengers become a team?”.<br/><br/>
Tony seems to think of how to answer the question before he settles on what Peter is sure, is only half the story. “Something, the Avengers initiative Fury and Captain Marvel created together” Tony shrugs and turns back to his work in the holo-table in front of him, the iron man suite coming to life with every little change he makes “They studied people with special abilities, like Bruce and myself. When Loki attacked the project had actually been closed down, but they asked us to help anyways. So we did” Tony elaborates.<br/><br/>
“People can’t just work together because they are asked to” Peter points out. “We learned that in school, making groups for different classes, and even taking test telling us what they are best at. Some people are good at starting out, some people are good at ending. Some needs orders, and some are good leaders. Not to talk about how everyone has different strengths when it comes to the topics they work with”.<br/><br/>
“And trust” Tony adds. That’s unexpected to Peter, not ‘trust’ being important in group work, and very much in superhero work. But the fact Tony cares to point it out.<br/><br/>
Peter nods “Yes, and trust”. Peter smiles carefully, “So, how did the Avengers become a team?”.<br/><br/>
Tony sighs, takes a deep breath, and looks like his about to throw Peter out of the lab. But he doesn’t. Instead he carefully answers Peter’s question, as non-detailed, and emotionless has he possibly can.<br/><br/>
“When Loki attacked, it’s true that we were pulled together because of the Avengers project” Tony starts out “A project that I had actually been removed from, but I was pulled in anyways to help Bruce trace the gamma radiation coming from this blue, glowing, cubes” Tony shakes his head, let’s his holo-table turn off, and carefully places his feet on the stable ground instead of the food rest on the chair. “We even caught Loki quite early on, and then got visited by Thor. Loki’s brother. But it showed out to be a big trick. Shield was using the cubes to created weapons, and soon enough we were attacked. Pill, a great friend, and fan of the Avengers died during the attack. And then we left to New York, not because we were told to, but by choice. But with Natasha and Barton joining the team as well” Tony smiles quietly at the last part. Almost like he’s back in that moment, seeing it all happen once more, “We were supposed to protect earth, but something tells me we are about to fail”.<br/>
Peter nods “The endgame?” he asks.<br/><br/>
“The endgame” Tony confirms “Something… something alien is coming. And it’s getting closer by the minutes”.<br/><br/>
“But the Avengers will stop it, like your always do. Right?” Peter questions. Peter knows he shouldn’t ask that. His poking a stick at the bear, and soon Tony will snap. Peter knows. His tried it, back with the ferry incident. Back when Tony heard about the collapsed building. But Peter hopes this conversation, this reminder of what made them a team in the first place, might help get Tony to work on the trust thing.<br/><br/>
Tony meet’s Peter eyes “I sincerely hope so”.<br/><br/>
And that answer, is differently better than nothing. Peter smiles and returns to his work. Tony sits quietly for a bit, before too returning to his holo-table.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. A Single Lie Discovered is enough to create doubt in every truth expressed</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm back! But... school is starting soon. So my posting might become less frequent. </p>
<p>This is a scene I have wanted to do for a while! :D</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Peter wakes up early the following morning. Natasha has left a private message for him, with the details she has planned for the day. And Peter can’t help but smiles quietly at it.<br/><br/>
‘Though it might be a good idea with some teachers for the Avengers today. Don’t think any of us is very good on ice, so I booked a few who knows a thing or two about it. You, since you said you know how to ice skate, will be teaching Bucky (James Barnes). It’s all a part of the plan.<br/><br/>
-	Natasha’.<br/><br/>
Peter knows that Tony is bound to become mad, terrified and worried all at the same time the second he sees Peter on the ice. That Peter is going to be teaching Barns, is not going to help at all. But Peter can also see the smart thing in Natasha plan, and they have made the same observation. Tony cares about Peter, Tony is worried about Peter. And hopefully, the second Tony see’s that he can trust the Avengers as well as Barns with Peter, without fearing that they’re going to hurt him. That the moment Tony can trust them again. Or well, in Barns’ care, for the first time.<br/><br/>
Peter quietly swings his legs over the edge of the bed. His feet meet the slightly cold wooden floor, as he stands. The room the had been completely clean, and in order when May died, now more looked like a tornado had come through. Papers and books were falling out his backpack, leaning next to the desk. His game controllers were laying on the floor, halfway covered by dirty hoodies and jeans. He should probably clean up soon.<br/><br/>
He carefully makes his way to his closet, pulls out a thick sweater and an even thicker hoodie. Jeans, shocks, and a pair of homemade… Peter isn’t sure what to call them really, but they are thick and you placed over you pants. But only the shin. And helps him stay warm when ice skating. May had made them were Peter and Ben had started going to the frozen lake. (A/N: I swear, in Denmark we got an actual word for it, but my online dictionary can’t translate it to English. In Danish we call them “Benvarmere” and directly translated it would be “Leg warmers” so that’s what I’m calling them for the rest of the fanfiction). Now he needs them more than ever, the spider powers making him unable to Thermoregulate.<br/><br/>
Not that Tony knows about that, yet. Or maybe he does? That might explain the heater in the suit, and the air-condition they have been working on before everything with May. But well, Peter didn’t tell him, so if he knows he figure it out himself. Or maybe Cho and Bruce did in the lab.<br/><br/>
He pulls the ice skates out of the box from the apartment and tries them one. They are snug, and maybe a little tighter than they should be, but he still loves them. He throws them on a bag before going to the kitchen for breakfast.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Getting to the ice-skating ring is surprisingly easy. Easier than he would have though. It only take one switch on the subway, and suddenly his at the very edge of the Queens neighborhood where he and Natasha agreed on meeting up.<br/><br/>
He let himself fall into a calm pass as he walks down the street. A small layer of ice is covering the ground, making it slippery under his feet, but he really doesn’t mind.<br/><br/>
As he walks he see’s one of the school busses. The yellow bus reminds him of how things were once. With May and Ben. And with Ned, who Peter should totally text, because he haven’t had contact with him since the funeral. And damn, his going to freak when he here’s that Peter is living at the compound now.<br/><br/>
He carefully walks into the building with the ice ring. The coldness bits his nose, making him shiver, bit he can’t help but smile as he tightens the skates and carefully moves towards the ice.<br/><br/>
He carefully places one foot on the ice. It’s still early and only a few other skaters are there, so the ice it almost perfect. Like a mirror in the ground. He uses his other foot, still on the normal ground, to set up and carefully starts to run around the ring, picking up speed.<br/><br/>
When his body is warm, or as warm as can be in the cold ring, he skates to the middle and tries out a simple trick.<br/><br/>
His just spinning slightly on the ice at first, doing a simple jump in place. Carefully relearning how to balance his weight on the ice, like he and Ben tried so long ago. He and Ben never fully got it, but, with his new abilities from the Spider bit it seems easier than ever.<br/><br/>
Before long he carefully picks up speed around, but instead of going in circles he stays in the middle. The sound of the skates digging into the ice, is both scary and satisfying. And before he knows it he jumps, moves into a turn mid-air and time almost stand still and he spin 3 times in the air before…</p>
<p>
  <em>… landing on the ice is harder than jumping. And even though Peter has trained it a million times with Ben, it’s still scary when his time in the air comes to a stop.<br/><br/>
Peter carefully lets the ice skates hit back on the ground, into the ice.<br/><br/>
And…<br/><br/>
… his gliding. Losing balance and falling onto the frozen lack with give a sound a cracking as he hits the thin ice.<br/><br/>
He tries to get up, away from were the ice is breaking under him, but he can’t. The skates are like knifes that wont bit into the meat. Into the ice. And as soon as his back up he falls again.<br/><br/>
Ned has stopped, but doesn’t come closer to Peter. Probably fearing the stressful moment when the ice will break under them and they will fall into the ice cold water.<br/><br/>
But that never happens.<br/><br/>
Soon enough Ben is at Peter’s side, helping him balance. He almost landed his toe loop like so many professionals does it.</em>
</p>
<p>… Peter lands on the ice with one foot, and carefully stretching the second one out behind him. A rush of a adrenalin fills his body, because… HE DID IT!<br/><br/>
“Ever tried ballet?” A voice questions of the side of the ring. Natasha’s red hair and shining in the otherwise white and grey environment “Because that, has potential”, she’s smiling carefully at him and he makes his way towards her.<br/><br/>
He shakes his head “Nop” he replies, popping the P, “But me and Ben used to go to the lack during the winter. Before his accident I almost landed a toe loop, this is the first time I didn’t fall”.<br/><br/>
“Wouldn’t have guessed that” Natasha chuckles lightly “That was elegant and look absolutely perfect”.<br/><br/>
“Thanks” Peter smiles at her, a wind grin. Compliments from the Black Widow is rare.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>The team isn’t unhappy with Natasha training plan. A long time ago, back when they lived in the tower, back before the accords they had though about learning how to get around on the ice but never got around to it. Between Ultron and Shield Missions, it just didn’t happen. And then Tony was though dead after the attack on the mansion in Malibu.<br/><br/>
That had been interesting times for the team. Tony knew that. And a lot had happened since then as well, even if no one talked about it. Peter was a clear sign of that. And going back to such an old idea as ice skating, that might just help the team calm down. Maybe get back together.<br/><br/>
Because he promised Peter that. He had to prove it.<br/><br/>
That’s how he and the team ended in the changing room of a ice ring, getting ready and putting on the borrowed ice skates.<br/><br/>
Natasha had told them there would be a few trainers for them all. Teaching them how to skate, keep balance, and so on. Two of the trainers where at the moment helping them to figure out how to secure the skates. Tony already knew, having skates with Pepper once for a Stark industries Christmas event.<br/><br/>
Tony had fallen on his ass to many times to count.<br/><br/>
Walking into the giant room, with the ice ring was almost like Tony had expected. A few skaters, the trainers were already there. And there likely wouldn’t come anyone else in before later that day when schools got out.<br/><br/>
What wasn’t like Tony had expected, was the kid spinning elegantly in the air, in a pair of what Tony would guess to be expensive skates.<br/><br/>
There was a smile on his face, light shining in has eyes. Filled with happiness Tony hadn’t seen in a long time. And… talking to Natasha? That was unexpected.<br/><br/>
Tony knew someone had put Peter up for the ‘Let make Tony trust the Avengers again’ thing. But he hadn’t expected Natasha, or were it Shield? To do so. And how they even contacted the kid without Tony knowing were an even bigger and probably Better question to ask.<br/><br/>
But he looked so Happy, and calm, that Tony couldn’t find it in himself to say anything. Anything for the kid to smile like that was worth it.<br/><br/>
Happy was staring at the kid as well. Probably just as confused, but also glad at the same time.<br/><br/>
The ground carefully made it towards Natasha and Peter. They were all there, Steve, Bucky, Clint, Bruce, Thor, Sam, Wanda, himself, and Natasha. The originals plus a few.<br/><br/>
Captain America, the Winter Soldier, Hawkeye, The hulk, Thor, Falcon, Scarlet witch, Iron man, and Black Widow.<br/><br/>
Together again.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Peter being one of the instructors, James Barns instructor, makes Tony panicked. Barns it a murder, a killer, a cold-blooded killer. Now holding the hands of his kid, as Peter teach him how to balance on the ice.<br/><br/>
Tony himself is training with Natasha, who based on her old ballet training also is pretty good on the slippery ice. But Tony can’t focus. Keeps glazing to Peter. But that kid isn’t faced at all by the fact the person in front of him killed Tony’s parents, and together with Steve left Tony to die in the cold Siberia. Even though the kids knows.<br/><br/>
No, the kid is just smiling and laughing, as Barns slips again. Hitting the ice with a loud metallic sound as the Vibranium collide with the frozen water.<br/><br/>
And Barns, the winter soldier, is laughing too as Steve skates into him and they both end up on the icy ground. Damn, how does the kid do it?<br/><br/>
“I don’t think you quiet understand the ide about the training exercise Tony” Natasha says as Tony once again loses focus, “It’s about letting go. About trusting not just yourself and the ice, but the people around you”.<br/><br/>
“I don’t trust a killer with my kid” Tony grumbles back at her, as he keeps himself balance by holding the wall near the edge of the ring.<br/><br/>
Natasha smirks slightly, something is in her eyes. “But you trust me with him?” she asks.<br/><br/>
Tony shakes his head “No. Not at all”.<br/><br/>
“His parents did” she says. Like that’s going to help at all. But really Tony doesn’t actually know anything about Peter’s parents. Just that they died when Peter was a kid. Plan crash. And if May’s info were anything to go by, it had been in connection to some emergency work in Europe.<br/><br/>
“I doubt that” Tony replies “May and Ben were great people as far as I know. I doubt his parents were any different”.<br/><br/>
There’s a smiles on Natasha lips “Well…” she looks to Peter and Barns, Tony follows her eyes and watches himself as Peter makes a jump on the ice. Watches as he lands, leans back, bending backwards to touch the ice, still in a somewhat high speed. And as he get’s up again, now on one-foot spinning on circles.<br/><br/>
And watches as Peter slips. As his balance slips from him, and his crashing towards the ground, headfirst.<br/><br/>
And he watches, as Peter almost hovers over the ground for just a second. Before being pulled back up, by no other than Barns. And still they both just laugh and smile, before Peter teacher Barns how to do a jump in place and Barns copies the best he can.<br/><br/>
“… his parents were shield agents, after all” Natasha’s ends. Something in her eyes, tells him that he gets the training now. And maybe he does.<br/><br/>
Maybe he can trust Ba- Bucky a little more now than before they went on the ice. And then Natasha’s words hit, like a rocket in stomach. Taking his breath away and his slipping on the ice before he knows it.<br/><br/>
“HIS PARENTS WERE WHAT?!”.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Things end but memories last forever</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Yes, I already posted one chapter today.<br/>I also wrote 6 chapters today, and feel a need to finish this one before I can start on my next big project, which... OMG I can't wait for that one. Keep an eye out.<br/>So... chapter 16 here we go. It's a little short though.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The following day, Peter didn’t jump into a hoodie with unbrushed hair and smelling like sweaty spider. He had taken a long, hot, shower, making the last of the coldness from the ring, seep out of his bones. Had shampooed his hair with what used to be May’s favorite apple scented soap. And while he was dressed on jeans and sneakers as he were so often, he was wearing a fancy shirt instead of one of his science pun shirts.<br/><br/>
All that was of course covered up by a thick winter jacket, gloves and a shaft, but that honestly weren’t that important.<br/><br/>
What was important was that fact that he was sitting in the front seat, no the back, of Happy’s most fancy car. An expensive bucket of May’s favorite flowers in his hands. Listening to Christmas music with Happy, on his way to the graveyard.<br/><br/>
He honestly hadn’t been there since the funeral. It were only a few weeks ago, but it felt like so long ago by now. Between everything with Natasha, and Tony and Bucky, Peter almost… ALMOST, forgot to be sad about his latest lose.<br/><br/>
And while he missed May’s terrible cooking. Her mad lectures about him coming home from patrol late. And their old apartment… he honestly hadn’t thought much about it.<br/><br/>
He had spent time with Tony in the lab as the compound. Eaten dinner with the Avengers, and gone ice skating with them. Had gone through file after file hoping to find something, anything, about Project Oz. His parents files, the few there were left. Ben and May’s files in hope they hid something. And the few files Natasha so far had been able to get him through Shield.<br/><br/>
And had found nothing…<br/><br/>
They pulled up to the small church in Queens. It was covered in a light, thin layer, of snow. Peter and Happy moved to the stones in silence, carefully placing the followers so they looked perfect. At least, until they too would die.<br/><br/>
And with the winter cold, that likely wouldn’t take too long.<br/><br/>
And then they just watched the stones, in silence. Peter silently praying that they were okay. Would be okay. Wherever they were. Because Peter know that when you lived in a world with Heroes, really anything could happen.  </p><p>***</p><p>What really were Peter and Happy’s plan were to go to a restaurant in Queens. May’s favorite Thai place. Were Peter had both gotten takeout from too many times to count, and eating in with May even more time. Mostly after failed cooking attempts. Like that time with Ned, the day he found out he was spider-man.<br/><br/>
But it were also the place were May and Happy had gone on their first date.<br/><br/>
Their dates had quickly changed from going out, to Happy cooking in the small apartment in Queens. Peter stopping by to grab a portion before going to Ned’s or patrolling.<br/><br/>
Peter had found them both half asleep on the couch, with some old movie playing on their TV, just weeks before May was hit by a car. The same couch as Peter had sat with Flash on that night were everything changed. Not just for Peter, but for Flash as well.<br/><br/>
Flash had jumped (A/N: “5 time Peter Parker ignores flash and one time he didn’t” chapter 6). Peter had caught him. And then May had collapsed.<br/><br/>
Walking into the restaurant, was almost like walking back in time. It hadn’t changed over the last few weeks. Not like Peter, the apartment or May. It still smelled the same. Looked the same. And the food likely tasted the same as well.<br/><br/>
Happy and Peter took a both in the corner, making it harder for reporters to get photos, should they realize who Happy was. Because Happy had been on TV with Tony in more years that Peter had been alive.<br/><br/>
“How can I help you two tonight” a young man asked as he stepped over to their table. Peter knew him slightly. It had been him giving May rise putting on the house so long ago. The person who totally had a crush on his Aunt.<br/><br/>
“The Pad Kung and a medium Cola” Peter carefully asked, the young man took notes on his paper.<br/><br/>
“Gaeng Dang or red curry rise and a glass of the house bast red win, thanks” Happy asked.<br/><br/>
The young man leave, leaving Peter and Happy to take in the restaurant and memories they both have in it.</p><p>
  <em>“Come on, May, Ben, we’re going to be late!” Peter calls as he runs through the street. It’s early summer, and Ned’s parents have invited both Peter and his aunt and uncle for Thai to celebrate. Ned is only a few months older than Peter.<br/><br/>
Ben Chuckles as he catches up to Peter, placing a hand on his shoulder “Take it slow Pete, you aunt can’t keep up”. May is far behind, Peter can see that looking back, but she’s smiling.<br/><br/>
They walk into the restaurant. The intense smell of Curry files Peter’s noes. He loves it.<br/><br/>
Ned and his parents are already sitting at one of the table. Ned’s baby sister is placed in a toddler chair, sitting with a cup of milk in her hands, giggling.<br/><br/>
The main meal isn’t anything special. But the ice cream dessert for Peter and Ned are amazing. A combination of vanilla, strawberry and chocolate ice cream. Pancakes. A big selection of fruit and berries, all covered in chocolate sauce.<br/><br/>
When they leave the restaurant Peter hugs Ben and May close, before getting his sleepover bag and jumping in Ned’s parents car.</em>
</p><p>The young man returns with their drinks. There’s a straw in Peter’s cola, and he sips quietly through it.<br/><br/>
“The first time me and May were here, were to celebrate Ned turning 10” Peter says, breaking the silence between him and Happy.<br/><br/>
“Ned?” Happy questions “That friend of your who always begs to visit the compound?” Peter nods.<br/><br/>
“Yeah, that would be the one” he chuckles “and the one hacking the Spidey-suit”.<br/><br/>
Happy nods, taking a sip of his win. “Oh, the kid calling me the night of homecoming!” he exclaims. “How’s he doing anyways? And what about that other kid, MJ, was it?” Happy asks, a knowing look in his eyes.<br/><br/>
“I haven’t honestly talked to them since the funeral” Peter replies, “And MJ is too cool for me anyways” he adds. Because she is. She’s too cool, and too amazing for Peter anyways. With her fancy curly hair, and loser comments, she’s way to cool. “She posted a new drawing on her Instagram profile the other day. I think she might want to be an artist like her… brother I think it was”.<br/><br/>
“You are going back to school in a few weeks, right?” Happy asks, Peter confirms in a tight nod. “Then don’t wait for her to ask you, you ask her. Then your just as cool”.<br/><br/>
Peter shrugs “I might” he replies. “I just don’t want to put anyone else in danger. You know. I can’t lose anymore than I already have”. He sips the cold cola carefully. The ice cubes making a sharp noise as they hit the sides of the glass.<br/><br/>
“If you keep worrying about that, life is going to be really though” Happy says.<br/><br/>
Peter doesn’t know how to reply to that. But he knows Happy is right.<br/><br/>
Soon enough their food arrives. They continue chatting while eating. About everything from the ice skating ring, to school, to good times with May.<br/><br/>
Peter honestly smiles as they return to Happy’s care later that night.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>And... act ended.</p><p>Act 3 will start in the next chapter. Followed by act 4 which is probably going to be my favorite act of this part of the series. (Because, spoiler alert, not by blood is only a part 2. I also got plans for a 3, 4 and 5 as well).</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Not by Blood but still our son</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I posted dobblet chapter last night, meaning that while people did read chapter 15 chapter 16 has no trafik at all. If you are one of those who missed chapter 16 read that before you read this, it's a filler and ends the second act of Not by blood. Meaning that today, we are starting the 3ed act. Which is a sorter act, that going a little fast and is build to be a little chaotic :) But, it's worth it for the lead up to my 4th acts and 5th act. Which are two acts that I really can not wait to write and see people react to. Because, damn. I'm in love with my fanfiction idea.</p>
<p>Also, I really hope your enjoy this chapter. It's a throwback to the title. There will be one more throwback to the title later on, though only as a reminder to why I named it not by blood. So, enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Christmas at the compound isn’t like what Peter expected at all. While the compound wasn’t decorated during December, Peter wakes up to a Christmas tree, Christmas lights and fake snow everywhere when he wakes up the 24th.<br/><br/>
In the kitchen Sam and Steve is making Christmas cookies. There’s a smell of hot chocolate filling the Avengers living room. On the TV there’s a playlist of Christmas movies playing. At the moment, it’s a Star Wars Christmas special that has only been shown once, and Peter weren’t born back then.<br/><br/>
Peter only remembers his Christmas with May and Ben. The first one being spend crying for his parents to come home. Even though he knew they wouldn’t.<br/><br/>
So having Christmas at the compound, is weird. It’s new people, new smells, new traditions.<br/><br/>
And suddenly, Peter had to fit into, too.<br/><br/>
Tony is chatting with Bruce at the breakfast table when Peter joins them. Tony with his coffee and Bruce with his tea. They are talking about some new piece of tech Tony has been working on.<br/><br/>
“Making an implant to place in people’s spin sound rather dangerous Tony” Bruce argues as they look over some blueprints they are sitting with.<br/><br/>
Tony shrugs “But if it can make people walk again, without the need to put on bionic legs every morning, isn’t it worth the risk? It’s not like it can damage them more than they already are”.<br/><br/>
“Maybe your right” Bruce agrees “But what if it puts them in a bigger risk of being struck by lightning?”.<br/><br/>
“Then build in a ground wire” Peter drops into the conversation.<br/><br/>
Tony gives Peter a stern look “And how would you do that, it’s a human not a machine” he shots out.<br/><br/>
“Oh, I don’t know. What about a rubber insulated cable? You’re already placing a microchip into them!” Peter shots back.<br/><br/>
Bruce nods “Peter’s right. That could theoretically work”.<br/><br/>
Steve places a cup of hot chocolate in front of Peter and a plate of eggs. “No science talk on Christmas” he says. It isn’t in a mean tone, but with enough power to make it clear that his serious. Peter is honestly impressed Steve can do that.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Around lunch time Peter, Tony and Happy goes to the airport. Pepper had been at the last-minute business trip to Tokyo in Japan. And now their picking her up.<br/><br/>
The place Pepper uses it similar to the one Peter was flown to Germany in, but shorter.<br/><br/>
“It’s because in the one Happy and your flew, there was a secret lab build into the tail of the plane” Tony tells him when he points it out. He also promises to show it to Peter one day in the future. Teach him how to use it for emergencies even.<br/><br/>
Pepper pulls all three of them in a tight hug as she sees them. Pepper’s personal security guard says his goodbyes, has a quick talk with Happy about important events during the trip before he goes to find his own family. Returning home for Christmas, like Peter’s parents couldn’t.<br/><br/>
But Pepper, Tony, Happy and Peter doesn’t leave quiet yet.<br/><br/>
Before long a bigger, even more fancy plane lands. A royal crown is painted on the side of it. As well as the head of a black panther. And off the plane comes the king of Wakanda, together with a girl that looks to be about Peter’s age.<br/><br/>
“T'Challa, great to see you” Tony smiles in greeting “And this must be your sister Shuir”. He points to the girl who gives a sharp nod.<br/><br/>
They all soon get into the Limo, and while Steve isn’t there Tony starts to talk tech with the girl. Something about nanotech and overheating. Peter doesn’t really listen, just looks out the window and stares into the nothingness.<br/><br/>
But his pulled out of his throughs soon enough, but the girl Shuir.<br/><br/>
“That design for noise cancelling ear plugs were great, who created those?” she’s talking with Tony. Tony just smiles, gives a nod to Peter and then Peter is left to deal with the rest of the conversation.<br/><br/>
“I did” he says, quietly. Because he is suddenly shy and scared. He knows Wakanda makes great technology, and his stuff is nothing compared to their work. And his sitting with the king’s sister, making her a princess, making it even more awkward. And making Peter feel smaller than ever.<br/><br/>
But the girls just light up and starts to talk excitedly about his project. Her brother even joining in after a bit. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>The Christmas dinner is maybe even more impressive than the rest of the compound. It’s Steve and Bucky who have been cooking since early afternoon. It’s about 8 before they sit down to eat. Between lunch and now, Peter had both been in the lab with Shuir but also shown her around most of the compound.<br/><br/>
T’Challa her brother, had come to see what they were working on a few hours after they disappeared into the lab. A small tray of food and water with him for Peter and Shuir. And before he had left, he had handed Peter a small black pouch. It had been heavy, but at the same time light in his hands.<br/><br/>
Opening it, he had been greeted with small amount of Vibranium. Just enough to created one set of his ear plugs.<br/><br/>
“I have never quiet understood earth people’s need to celebrate a holiday like Christmas. But it’s a god excuse to eat good food” Thor says in a loud voice as everyone finds a chair around the table.<br/>
Clint snorts “Everything is about party, food and alcohol for you, oh mighty Thor” he jokes.<br/><br/>
From there people fall into conversation. Even Tony and Bucky seem to be talking, just a little bit.<br/><br/>
As it turns out, both Steve and Bucky got a quiet metabolism too. Of course, they don’t know about Peter’s, but he knows about their by their amount of food alone. Peter is a little more carefully with his portions. While a lot of normal people eat a lot for Christmas, he still has a secret identity to hid.<br/><br/>
It’s not hard honestly.<br/><br/>
While the food smells and taste amazing, there’s almost a rock in Peter’s stomach, preventing him from eating very much on this special night. Because it’s his first Christmas with Ben and May. The first Christmas as the only Parker. </p>
<p>
  <em>“Do you think Ned can play tomorrow after we have gotten our gifts?” Peter askes Ben during Christmas dinner in their small apartment in Queens.<br/><br/>
Ben meet Peter’s eyes “We can always ask, if you want to” Ben smiles.<br/><br/>
May returns from the kitchen with an freeze bowl of potato chips, and places it on the table. “I’m sure Ned would love to” May agrees, “But some families is very busy in the day’s right after Christmas” she points out.<br/><br/>
“Like when we are going to your mother’s place new week, right?” Peter asks.<br/><br/>
May nods “Yes, just like that”.<br/><br/>
Peter becomes quiet for a moment, thinking about something one of their teacher’s told them before Christmas break this year. “Did you know some families doesn’t have to money to celebrate Christmas?”.<br/><br/>
“Is that so?” Ben asks. “Then what about we help them next year?” he recommends.</em>
</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>The next morning, the 25th, Peter sleeps in. Pepper and Tony isn’t busy at Christmas, not at all. They got no sister or brothers to visit. No parents who needs a hug from their kid over the holidays. And so it is for most of the Avengers.<br/><br/>
Of course, Clint goes home to celebrate with his kids and wife. Scott weren’t a part of the Avengers Christmas in the first place, being home with his daughter and ex-wife and the ex-wife’s new husband.<br/><br/>
So Peter doesn’t have to think about that at all.<br/><br/>
It isn’t until midday that Tony comes to wake him up. Peter is already awake, laying on his bed looking up into the celling. Thinking about how he and May hadn’t been able to do Christmas the year Ben died. Both because of sadness and sorrow, but also because of the lack of Money.<br/><br/>
“If you keep staring into the celling, maybe we should install small lights to look like stars” Tony says from the doorway.<br/><br/>
Peter sits up “Can we?” he asks. Because, honestly, that would be cool.<br/><br/>
“Yes, we can” Tony nods with a smile “But first me and Pepper has something for you in the living room, so get some cloth on Spider-kid!”.<br/><br/>
So soon enough Peter shows up in the living room, morning hair, stollen MIT hoodie from Tony and jeans.<br/><br/>
The Avengers that is still at the compound, being Natasha, Steve, Bucky, T’Challa, Bruce, Shuir, Wanda, Vision, and of course Pepper and Tony is already sitting in the couches around the Christmas tree. There aren’t a lot of presents under the tree, like not being a usual part of the Avengers Christmas tradition.<br/><br/>
There’s a few for Shuir, new tools, a compound security card with what looks like a Wakanda symbol on it. A necklaces holding a little star, and lastly the design for a female type of the Black Panther suit, created by Tony.<br/><br/>
Peter honestly doesn’t expect anything for himself. But is soon getting pushed a few gifts in his direction. A new smartwatch with an emergency button on and Karen. A nanotech carrying case is carefully place in a box as well, it’s formed as a Spider like the drone on his suit. He closes the box quickly again, making sure no one has seen what’s in it.<br/><br/>
And lastly, his handed a piece of paper. Tony and Pepper both move a little closer, while Peter reads over the page. And Peter really doesn’t know what to think.<br/><br/>
Tony places a careful hand on Peter’s leg and smiles at him “I know this is a lot to take in. And I know that me and Pepper can never replace what you had. But just because your not our, not by blood anyways, we still see you as a son”.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I need to make something very clear, and better now than later.<br/>During the last 14 days I haven't written and posted as much as I usually would have. As I usually do. And that's despite the fact I got a whole list of ideas, a lot of them for sequels to not by blood but also for different unrelated work here on AO3. And while people don't seem to mind too much, the slower posting isn't something that usually happens on my profil. At least, not since I started writing. Because I get sucked in, and while other people read my stuff, I get to live it inside my own head like a movie.<br/>But... I take breaks. I need breaks.<br/>Fanfiction is a thing that I love. Always will love, I guess. And I did it way before I even knew it was a thing.<br/>I would lay awake at night as a kid, imagining what would happen in the next episode of my favorite TV show. Sometimes I'd make my own original characters, sometimes I'd follow the canon rules. And sometimes my stuff would be all over the place, following completely different rules.<br/>For a really long time I didn't actually know why that was a thing I did. I just did it. During class, during car rides, when I couldn't sleep. When I was board.<br/>You see last year I was tested for autism in connection to a very serious stress reaction, cause some extreme anxiety issues that honestly, almost got me hospitalized. Because, damn S*it it was bad. Really bad. And as it turns out, the testing was positive.<br/>The last half a year, fanfiction have become my new speciel, well... obsessive interest. But I'm going back to school next Monday and will therefor also have homework to do again. I have a life outside of fanfiction.<br/>So here's the deal.<br/>I have to be careful. I'd rather not have another intense and/or serious stress reaction. And I can't say for sure what's that's supposed to mean for the future of my fanfiction world.<br/>I have plans to continue writing. And during breaks, holidays, weekends, things might look normal here on AO3.<br/>Weekdays might too in periods. And they might not in other.<br/>I just want you to know, and respect that I might have to pause what I'm doing here on AO3. That I might not post or update for a month or two.<br/>I hope to finish Not by Blood before I get into a period like that, but I can't promis.<br/>I love fanfiction, and it means the world to me. Just like my readers do. That's why I want to be this honest. This blank.<br/>Thank you, for following my adventure here on AO3, and lets hope there's more to come in the future.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. To forgive is to let a prisoner go</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Cleaned up the tags a little :P</p><p>Like I said in last chapter, we have entered act 3 out of 5. It might go a little fast, be a little chaotic, but totally worth it to where it ends up in the end :) I promise.</p><p>If people though I where done posting, you though wrong.<br/>I told you I wrote 6 chapter in like, 12 hours. And I'm not done. I still have so many ideas and projects. So I'm posting what I have slowly but steadily.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Peter returns to Midtown high after new years eve, it’s with a new name.<br/>
<br/>
His now Peter Benjamin Parker-Stark. Stark. He is a Stark now. It’s the gift he doesn’t expect, but also the gift he needs the most. It’s reassuring that it isn’t just guardianship, it’s real.<br/>
<br/>
His name on social media stays the same, he doesn’t want to change it. But in his private group chat with Ned and with MJ he changes his name to Peter Stark. His nickname, at least. He adds a picture of the signed adoption papers too.<br/>
<br/>
In a matter on minutes there’s 50+ messages from Ned and MJ.<br/>
<br/>
He almost wants to tell Flash too. But thinking that the former bully had really changed might be a step too far, just yet at least.<br/>
<br/>
That changes when his greeted by Flash as Happy drops him off in the Midtown parking lot. Flash runs to him as soon as Peter is out the car, pulling him into a hug. There’s a quiet stream of “I’m so sorry” being repeated from Flash, and Peter isn’t quite sure why.<br/>
<br/>
“I already forgave you” Peter points out as Flash finally let’s get.<br/>
<br/>
Flash Nods, “I know, I just. I feel so bad about it, and then May and… where are you even staying? If you need a place to crash you know where I live, your welcome there” he’s talking fast.<br/>
<br/>
“I’m fine Flash” Peter reassure and after a moment of though “I’m living with my adoptive father, Mr. Stark”.<br/>
<br/>
“That’s good. It’s so good. I’m glad you’re not all alone” he says, and before he can say anything else, a bigger boy places himself between Peter and Flash. Starting the latter down, with a stare Peter is happy he isn’t in the receiving end of.<br/>
<br/>
It’s Ned.<br/>
<br/>
Peter quietly take around Ned’s wrist and pulls him away, towards the front doors, and sending an apologetic look to Flash before he disappears through the doors.<br/>
<br/>
“What the heck did he want?” Ned questions as they make it too their lockers.<br/>
<br/>
Peter shrugs as he writes his code, “Nothing. Just, say sorry for the bullying” Peter replies.<br/>
<br/>
“Why would he do that now?” Ned asks “Why not before May? He want’s something from you Peter, and we both know it. He isn’t worth forgiving”.<br/>
<br/>
Peter can’t help but look at need in surprise, of all people he should be the forgiving type. “Too late. I already forgave him. Before everything with May actually”.<br/>
<br/>
“He didn’t apologize before May!” Ned exclaims “So you couldn’t forgive him”.<br/>
<br/>
Peter shakes his head quietly, “That isn’t actually true”.<br/>
<br/>
Ned gives him a look of confusion before shrugging it off as MJ joins them, her books in a secure hold against her chest. “Hey losers” she greets.</p><p>***</p><p>Being back in class is great. Honestly, Peter had missed it.<br/>
<br/>
Missed the excitement of doing experiments in chemistry class. The happiness when correctly finish a math equation. Or the thrill or learning something new in Spanish.<br/>
<br/>
Of course, it isn’t as challenging for Peter as it should be. He’s smart and has the chance to spend hours a day hiding in a lab with the best scientist in the world. But he still enjoys school, and he don’t think even bullying can change that.<br/>
<br/>
Lunch is mostly, and surprisingly, quiet. He, Ned and MJ fall into calm conversation and isn’t disturbed once.<br/>
<br/>
Sure Flash’s old friend group is sending them looks, that could probably kill, but that doesn’t matter. Flash is sitting them, still, but Peter can’t blame him. Everyone already has their groups and it’s not easy to break them and build new once.<br/>
<br/>
And when Peter is trapped in the hallway, between some of the boys from Flash’s group, preventing him from getting to class in time. He does take notice that Flash is at the very edge of the group, doesn’t say a word, doesn’t touch him. He doesn’t try and stop them, either. But Peter knows that Flash wouldn’t have a chance against them if they went for him instead of Peter, so Peter doesn’t mind.<br/>
<br/>
He shrugs it off when Flash apologies the next morning.<br/>
<br/>
He shrugs it off when Ned argues that Flash can’t be trusted.<br/>
<br/>
And he stops MJ when she wants to jump at Flash for not stopping his friend group, when he clearly doesn’t want to bully anymore.<br/>
<br/>
He even assures a teacher that Flash didn’t do anything when MJ and Ned go to office a few weeks later. Tells them that he and Flash have figure things out, forgiven each other. And sure, they aren’t friends, but ‘no sir. Flash didn’t do anything wrong’ feels better than any other words Peter have ever said. Even if MJ and Ned give him disappointing looks.<br/>
<br/>
“I think your making a mistake” MJ says during lunch in late February. “I’m sure Flash can change, but this just doesn’t feel right to me”.<br/>
<br/>
Peter shrugs. He does that a lot when Flash is the conversation topic. “I guess you don’t know him like I do then” Peter replies. MJ turns her sketch book to him so he can see her newest drawing. It’s him.</p><p>***</p><p>Peter starts to hang more out with Flash. First at school, but soon enough Flash is invited to the compound. Tony hadn’t originally been happy with the new development, but when Peter explained what happened the night May died, Tony had gone a little soft.<br/>
<br/>
So when Happy picks both Peter AND Flash up that Friday, it’s in one of Tony’s cars. A sports car, new model. Flash is all over it, seemly knowing more about car’s than Peter. Peter isn’t really into car’s anyways.<br/>
<br/>
Flash get’s a guest badge. A turn of the compound. They eat Pizza together with Tony and Pepper in their private living room. Star Wars playing on the TV. Just like he might have done with Ned during on of his compound weekends. Or even future back, when it had just been the Queens apartment.</p><p>
  <em>The new Lego Star Wars is placed in the PlayStation, Ned got it for his 13th birthday just weeks ago. It’s summer break, and they are in their second play through. Sitting on the wooden floor in the Queens apartment.<br/>
<br/>
It smells like popcorns and soda. Sweaty teenager.<br/>
<br/>
Ned has been sleeping on a mattress on Peter’s floor for the last week, while his parents and sister are visiting Ned grandparents. But Ned hadn’t wanted to go, and Ben and May had agreed for him to stay over, as long as both kids promised to get some sleep and real food.<br/>
<br/>
That hadn’t happened so far.</em>
</p><p>After dinner Peter shows Flash around the lab. Flash being impressed by everything, really. He had tested out the nanotech suit. As it turned out, it was an improved Iron-spider suit. And soon enough, he and Flash had been swinging round around the compound and through the forest surrounding it.<br/>
<br/>
They had done their chemistry homework in the lab, as they had become partners in chemistry class just weeks ago.<br/>
<br/>
When the sun went down, Flash was shown a guest room close to Peter’s room. Ned had slept there a few times as well. When they still talked a lot. Because that was something Peter noticed.<br/>
<br/>
Sure, he hadn’t kept in contact very well after May’s death. But after having returned and protected his former bully… Ned and MJ had gotten, distant. Ned more so than MJ. But both had stopped hanging as much with him. They didn’t meet up much during lunch anymore. Didn’t meet in the front of the building anymore, in the morning. Didn’t follow out after school or practice.<br/>
<br/>
At first Peter hadn’t put much though into it, and as it got worse, he just started hanging with Flash. He didn’t seem to almost avoid Peter anyways.</p><p>***</p><p>Things go wrong two weeks into spring.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I'd very much like to thank the Anonymous user who over the last 24 hours have read through my fanfiction so far and commented.<br/>I'd like to thank all the readers who return. Who comment, who doesn't. Who throws a kudos and who just place a bookmark.<br/>I'd like to hug all of you who keep sticking around, and respect my need for breaks and space.<br/>Every single on of you are amazing, and while I write for myself, it's amazing to see that I can other people smile or interested in my stories. And hearing what you guys think is really awesome!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. As a child I never imagined that all the real monsters would be humans</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Warning: This chapter includes references to past rape.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Honestly Peter isn’t sure how he forgets. The date had been written in his and May’s calendar, hanging on the fridge, since the court confirmed that date. Since the biggest hell in his life, was sucked away like through a black hole. And Peter never had to think about it again.<br/>
<br/>
But there he is, standing high and tall with his blond hair. Looking much bigger than he didn’t when Peter was a kid. And that’s despite the fact that Peter had grown. He isn’t the same kid anymore, needing a babysitting to watch over him when everyone else is at work. No, Peter were 16. A 16-year-old with superpowers. Yet the blue eyes of the man standing right there, was just as cold and just as scary as they had been when he was younger. More stupid, more vulnerable. Before he knew that this man, was going to break him.<br/>
<br/>
Because Skip’s standing right there, in the front door for Midtown high. No longer behind bar’s, as he had been in what seemed like ages.<br/>
<br/>
If May had been there, there would be a restraining order on Skip already. That was their plan. The reason the date was noted in the calendar. The reason they still he a copy of the court files laying around. And now that hadn’t happened, so Peter couldn’t do anything. Couldn’t do anything about that fact Skip was standing right in front of the doors to his school.<br/>
<br/>
his been out for two weeks… and Peter knows it. Now seeing Skip reminds him of the date. Reminds he that Skip wasn’t stuck in prison forever, and that now his out. But he didn’t think Skip would actively try and reach him again.<br/>
<br/>
And Peter want’s May, one of May’s amazing hugs. Just to hold her close and hear her say that everything is alright. Because May would make it okay. Would call the police, get the restraining order, and hold Peter home from school till it was done. But May’s dead, and Tony doesn’t know about Skip.<br/>
<br/>
Tony doesn’t know that Skip is a thing. Doesn’t know the name Steven like Peter does. Peter haven’t told him. Maybe he should have, but that’s too late now. Because he’s right there, and Peter can’t do anything.<br/>
<br/>
When Happy text him that his holding in the parking lot, Peter can’t get his feet to work. Can’t get them to walk towards the door. Towards Skip. But he can almost feel Skip’s touch. Almost hear his voice calling out for him “Hey Einstein!”.<br/>
<br/>
Ned has already left, MJ had left. Flash is nowhere to be seen. He can’t ask them for help.<br/>
<br/>
So Peter just slides to the floor against the lockers, folding himself into a ball. Because unlike in Berlin he knows he can’t go home to May and get a hug.<br/>
<br/>
He doesn’t notice as Happy calls him, sends him text after text. Doesn’t realized that soon he has been sitting on the floor for 45 minutes, and Skip is gone. He just cries. Let the tears drop down his cheeks, one by one. Because right now he isn’t Spider-man. His just little Peter Parker. Not Stark… not strong. His 9 years old again, and Skip is the monster from his nightmares.<br/>
<br/>
That’s how Happy finds him, on the dirty hallway floor. In the quite school building, which is only open because the robotics club is using some of the room’s future down the hall. And Peter knows that because he used to be a part of that club.<br/>
<br/>
But he left that same way he left band. Leaving only decathlon on his after-school activities list.<br/>
<br/>
The official one, without Spider-man and internship stuff with Tony Stark.<br/>
<br/>
Happy pulls him to his feet, but he barely notices. Happy holds him close before carefully guiding him to the car. But he doesn’t really register it. Like a cloud is filling his vision, preventing him from taking control of his actions.<br/>
<br/>
Like under water he can hear Happy talk to some one the phone. But he can’t make out the words. Can’t hear anything nut distant voices.<br/>
<br/>
When the car stops, when Happy pulls over and get Peter out the car, everything is spinning. Peter call fell the vomit movie up his throat, burning him from the inside. But he can’t stop it, and is suddenly bending forwards, throwing up his lunch on the pavement. But Happy doesn’t seem faced by it, not really.<br/>
<br/>
Happy just tighten his grip and pulls Peter with him into a building that isn’t the compound. Peter has been there before, a few times. With Tony. With Dr. Brown. He still see her every second week, to talk about things. To talk about May and Ben. About the adoption and about school. He was there just three days ago. Why is he here again?<br/>
<br/>
He questions it but doesn’t say anything. Doesn’t fight against Happy’s grip, even though he easily could. Just let’s himself be pushed into the big leather chair in Dr. Browns office.<br/>
<br/>
His vision clear’s a little as he sits there, the adults talking. The voices become clearer.<br/>
<br/>
“Thanks for taking him with such short notice. I got no clue what happened, but it can’t be good with him reacting like this” Happy says to Brown.<br/>
<br/>
Brown just nods “It’s no problem at all Mr. Hogan. I’m here to help”, she assures him.<br/>
<br/>
Happy bends down in front of him, Peter blinks a few seconds. Trying to focus on the man in front of him.<br/>
<br/>
“I’ll be back in an hour; I have to pick up Pepper. Your going to talk to Dr. Brown, just like normal. If you need anything Tony is just a call away” Happy says, “Understood?”. Peter swallows. He really doesn’t want to be left along with Dr. Brown today. His spidey-sense is going haywire, or maybe there is danger close by that the can’t see? But he nods anyways, before he can really think about it. And Happy’s gone.<br/>
<br/>
Dr. Brown pulls a chair over in front of Peter and sits down herself. Meeting Peter’s eyes. She carefully places a grounding hand on Peter leg, a tight squeeze, just like they figure out together months ago.<br/>
<br/>
“Peter, can you tell me what your feeling right now?” She carefully asks. Her eyes soft and careful.<br/>
<br/>
Peter opens his mouth. Tries to form a word, a sentence. Anything to describe what his feeling. To describe what’s going on inside of him right now. But he can’t find the head or the tail on the long string of throughs going in ring inside his head. His mind is a mess.<br/>
<br/>
“Did something happen today that triggered this?” She asks after a while. Clearly realizing Peter’s struggle, but also breaking their own rule, her own rule that he has to speak about it. At least a word or two. But Peter is almost relived that she skips it.<br/>
<br/>
Skips it… Skip.<br/>
<br/>
Peter swallows, then nods, before whispering “Skip…”.<br/>
<br/>
Dr. Brown doesn’t look faced just goes one to the next question. “What’s Skip?” she ask.<br/>
<br/>
“It’s a person”.<br/>
<br/>
“Who is Skip?”.<br/>
<br/>
“Skip… Steven Wescott… he…” But Peter can’t say it out loud. Can’t bring himself to talk about. </p><p>
  <em>“Does your friends ever do things you don’t want to?” Peter asks Ned while they are sitting at the swing in the park. Ned’s mother and little sister is building in the sand, though Ned’s mother is mostly just watching from the sideline.<br/>
<br/>
Ned looks at Peter with a frown, “No, we usually find something we all want to play” Ned says with a smile. “Why do you ask? Don’t you want to use the swings anymore?”.<br/>
<br/>
“Do you remember Skip?” Peter then askes. Ned nods. “He wants to play these games for big kids. And I don’t want to, but he keeps insisting that I’m a bad friend if we don’t”.<br/>
<br/>
“I’m sure games for big kids are way more fun than swings” Ned argues, “They play console games or shot with those guns that shoot paint” Ned points out.<br/>
<br/>
Peter shakes his head “That’s not that kind of big kids game Skip wants to play”.<br/>
<br/>
Something in Ned face change suddenly, a seriousness to it “What is it then?”.<br/>
<br/>
“He has then, magazines… and photos on his phone” Peter says, “These adult things. You know, those things the bigger kids in the bus talks about”. Ned nods, staring at Peter with something unreadable. “And he… wants us to recreate it…”.<br/>
<br/>
A light goes on above Ned. At least so you’d think, because he knows what Peter is talking about “You have to tell May and Ben!” Ned says, with a tone Peter haven’t heard before.<br/>
<br/>
Peter shakes his head “I can’t… their going to blame themselves” Peter argues.</em>
</p><p>“He what Peter?” Dr. Brown’s voice pulls him back. Out of his thoughts.<br/>
<br/>
Peter meets Dr. Browns eyes, “He raped me… when I was a kid…” and he cries “and now his out… he showed up at my school… stood there outside the front door and…” his voice breaks.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I told you, we were starting to go dark. Don't say I didn't warn you.</p><p>I might post a second chapter in a few hours, due to the fact this one is short.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Welcome to my nightmare</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Warning: References to past rape, inappropriate touching of a minor and similar.</p>
<p>I did tell you I might do doublet posting today, didn't I? :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Happy picks him up an hour later like he promised. Pepper is waiting in the car, behind the black tinted windows. Peter carefully glides in next to her in the backseat.<br/><br/>
“Hey Peter” She greets “Happy says you had a rough day”. Peter just quietly nods. Not trusting his voice not to break again if he spoke up.<br/><br/>
Happy jumps into the front seat, “Do you want to talk about it kid?” he asks. Peter shakes his head.<br/><br/>
“Me and Happy needs to grab some stuff from the store, would you like you join us? Tony is working till late today” Pepper says as Happy pulls out from the almost empty parking lot. It’s quiet and weird to see New York this peaceful at this time of day, but Peter’s almost used to it by now. Dr. Browns office is in a quiet area of New York after all.<br/><br/>
Peter nods, “Sure” he says. Focusing on the view out the window, not looking in Pepper direction.<br/><br/>
Pepper and Happy chat’s tries to bring him into the conversations but fails. Fails when they talk about the next tech SI is creating. Fails when they talk about a new, better version of the accords that in the making. Fails when they talk about what to make for dinner and fails when they ask how school has been. Fails when they talk about Iron Man, and about how people haven’t seen Spider-man in a long time and ‘do you want to go patrol tonight? Maybe that will cheer you up a bit’. It all fails.<br/><br/>
When Happy pulls up to the store, Peter follows them close behind while they pick up everything they need. Different vegetables, some of which Peter had seen before like potatoes and carrots and some he haven’t.<br/><br/>
Follows them as they pick up milk and as they find the right kind of bread.<br/><br/>
Follows them closely as they choose just the right fish, even though the smell of them makes his super sense go crazy.<br/><br/>
Or more so than they already were.<br/><br/>
He stays close to Happy while Pepper is trying on a new dress she saw when they entered. His sticking to them, almost as glue.<br/><br/>
The dress is tight around Pepper thin, amazing and beautiful body. May would have loved it too. Would have worn it with a smile and her pearls. Likely with her favorite perfume, smelling of peach. And she would have patched it up when there came a whole, saying that she likes it better that way, but Peter knowing that she just didn’t have the money to throw it out. To get a new.<br/><br/>
Pepper doesn’t have to think like that.<br/><br/>
What would be a party dress for May, would be an everyday dress for Pepper.<br/><br/>
In a dress were May would shine, Pepper looks weirdly ordinary.<br/><br/>
“What do you think Peter?” Pepper asks.<br/><br/>
“It’s great” is all Peter can reply.<br/><br/>
He follows them close as they find shampoo and soap.<br/><br/>
Follows them close as they grab a bag of his favorite candy and throws in the basket. As they do the same with a bottle of soda.<br/><br/>
He follows them as they go to the checkout area. They use the one where you scan the things on your own before putting them into the plastic back.<br/><br/>
Summer dress, bib.<br/><br/>
Tomatoes, bib.<br/><br/>
Gummi worms, bib.<br/><br/>
He focuses on the rhythmic sound of ‘bib, bib, bib’.<br/><br/>
He doesn’t hear the footsteps sneaking up on him from behind while Pepper and Happy is busy paying.<br/><br/>
In the store, in the big, giant store where Peter and May would never go because it’s too expensive. The store where they anyways brought ice cream after the trail. In that store… just a few hours later, a few hours after Skip showed up at school, together with Pepper and with Happy, Skip shows up again.<br/><br/>
Walking up behind him as his waiting for Pepper and Happy, deep in thought. His pulled to the present, the bibbing sound gone as Skip places his hands-on Peter’s shoulder’s. Big, and warm and heavy on his shoulder. Making Peter tremble, gasp for air.<br/><br/>
And slowly they start moving down his back, down his spin… down, down, down, till they can’t get any further. Down to a point were there’s no more Peter. Down to his private parts, his bottom part… his but… his but cheeks… his ass…</p>
<p>
  <em>“Hi Einstein” his deep voice whispers, “We’re going to have some fun”.<br/><br/>
It starts out innocently enough. He just wants to look at pictures, wants to show Peter things big kids does. Because someone as smart as Peter should be a big kid, right?<br/>
Just like Einstein.<br/><br/>
At some point it turns into ‘let copy it’. Skips says it’s somethings friends do.<br/><br/>
Peter doesn’t want to…<br/><br/>
… Skip doesn’t listen.<br/><br/>
It turns into the kind of thing you might hear about in school.<br/><br/>
The kind of thing where you have to tell an adult, even if the person doing it to you says it has to stay secret. Because their wrong. It shouldn’t stay secret.<br/><br/>
Peter wants to tell Ben or May, or that sweat teacher in the school office.<br/><br/>
Peter knows it isn’t right, but Skip, Steven… never tells him he can’t tell them. And so… maybe Peter is just reading it wrong. Maybe he misunderstood. Or… or… or…<br/><br/>
Or maybe Skip knows that by no telling Peter isn’t a secret, Peter won’t tell on him…</em>
</p>
<p>Someone’s pulling Peter away. Taking him by the wrist, pulling him out of Skip’s hold. Stands in front of him and Pepper. Happy’s big. His tall. There’s a reason he works security. A reason Tony trust him to protect his family. The people closet to him. And a reason May loved him. Because Happy is the kind of person you can trust. The kind of person who will defend you, even if it means him getting hurt instead.<br/><br/>
That’s just the way Happy is.<br/><br/>
“Can I help you” Happy growls to Skip. But Skips just smiles. A smirky, expression, with evil in his cold, blue eye.<br/><br/>
Skip shakes his head “I was just saying hello to Peter” he says and gives his hand to Happy in greeting. “I heard about what happened to his aunt, it’s such a tragedy. I used to babysit Peter when he where a kid. Great family, great kid”.<br/><br/>
“That” Happy says with a pointed finger “Didn’t look like a hello to me”.<br/><br/>
Skip laughs loudly, “Back me up here, Einstein”.<br/><br/>
Peter can’t do anything but watch as they talk. Can’t do anything but hope this nightmare will be over. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>When Tony returns home to the compound that night, Pepper and Happy is sitting in the kitchen. Something on their faces tells Tony something is wrong. Very wrong. Indescribably wrong. The fact the kids isn’t there, give Tony a slight idea of what might be going on. Did he faint again? Teenage problems? Sad about May?<br/><br/>
Tony knew that even if the last few months had been going smoothly, that Peter could have a fallback into the sadness. Tony had, had that himself, year’s after his parents where killed. His were triggered by lies and secrets, but that didn’t rule out that Peter could have a fallback as well.<br/><br/>
“Why the long face” Tony asked, stepping out the elevator on the private floor.<br/><br/>
Pepper looked up from something on her Starkpad, “It’s about Peter”. Geez Tony had already figured as much. But the way Pepper said it ruled out Tony’s theories.<br/><br/>
Maybe bullying then?<br/><br/>
“What about him?” Tony asked, join Pepper and Happy at the table they were sitting at.<br/><br/>
“He had a mental breakdown at school. Or well, after school. In the hallway” Happy replies.<br/><br/>
Tony frown “So, call Dr. Brown and let him talk it out. That usually helps him a tone”. Tony points out. But knowing Happy that has likely already been done.<br/><br/>
“We did, boss” Happy says, alright Happy’s great. “She won’t tell us what he said, which, is a part of the deal. But we got a theory” Happy says sliding his own tablet over to Tony so he can read it. “Steven Wescott decided to show up at Midtown today, and late in the store while Pepper, Peter and I went shopping”.<br/><br/>
Tony doesn’t recognize the name Wescott from anywhere. It’s not someone Peter has ever mentioned to him. Not a name from the news. And it’s not someone famous. “What’s up with this Wescott person?”.<br/><br/>
“I don’t know the details boss, it’s a locked case” Happy points out before continuing “I do know that he raped Peter as a kid though”.<br/><br/>
His kid. Peter had been raped. And hadn’t told him? Hadn’t told him that it was a part of his past so Tony could protect him from it happening again? Hadn’t told him about Steven Wescott to Tony could make sure he never got out of prison.<br/><br/>
“How do you know that if it’s a locked case?” is what Tony askes. It’s not important. It’s really not. But if Peter told Happy and Pepper, but not Tony… then maybe Tony is doing something wrong. Maybe Tony must do better, be stronger. Maybe he failed to prove that he trusted Bucky now. That he had changed. Things had changed.<br/><br/>
Happy looks down into the table “He told me, in Berlin, before I found out about you being hurt in Siberia” Happy replies “That was a bad night. And Pepper had to pull some contacts, and we fixed things but, I didn’t know that Wescott was being let go so soon”. (A/N: “5 times Peter Parker ignores Flash and one time he didn’t” Chapter 2).<br/><br/>
Tony wants to ask a million questions. His confused and all over the place. But Friday stops him.<br/><br/>
“Sir. Mr. Parker appears to be in distress”.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. The nightmares haven’t stopped, I’m not sure what is real anymore…</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Warning: This chapter includes flashbacks, references and detail description of past rape, which might be triggering to some readers.<br/>Do you enjoy the story, but doesn't feel comfortable with reading the following chapter, I can assure you that it's completely possible to return when chapter 22 is uploaded, and still be able to understand and follow the story on it's future path.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>“I don’t want to hang out with Skip” Peter argues with Ben just 15 minutes before both Ben and May are leaving to meet with some old friends “Can’t I just go with you?”.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Ben is sitting on the couch next to Peter, a careful hand placed on his shoulder. “I’m sorry Pete, but it’s an adult party. You wouldn’t have fun. It’s much better that you stay here with Skip” Ben points out. “And don’t you guys usually have a lot of fun together? You even get to buy a pizza!”.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>And Ben is right, they usually had, had fun together. Peter and Skip had easily become friends that day in the library a few months prior.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Skip called Peter Einstein because Peter was smart. Skip also insisted that Peter called Steven for Skip, because Skip was supposed to be cool. And Peter did think Skip was cool. At least so it had started out. But after a few times where Peter had been watched by Skip when Ben and May had other things to do, something had changed. Something was different. And Peter had become scared and terrified of being alone with the older boy.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Ned had insisted that Peter told someone. That Peter told Ben, or May. That Peter told their teacher or even Ned’s parents. Anyone who would be able to help do something or be able to help get the information to Peter’s aunt and uncle.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Peter had declined. Barely said another word to Ned that day. And didn’t plan to tell anyone about what was going on, ever again. Because Skip… Skip said they would hate him forever.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Can’t I just, stay here alone? Like a big boy” Peter asks. Desperate for Ben to agree. For Ben to call Skip and tell him not to come. To just be alone, without a need to hide from the touch of everyone around him. Because even Ben and May’s touch felt scary now. Felt unsafe in a way they weren’t supposed to. A way that Peter wouldn’t wish on anyone else.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>And Peter… Peter wanted it to stop.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Ben shook his head. “You are a big boy Peter. But your Aunt and me feel safer when you aren’t alone in the apartment. What if something happened?” Ben doesn’t sound made. Doesn’t sound like he could ever hate Peter. And Peter knows, somewhere deep inside, that Ben is right. But Ben doesn’t know that something happens every time Skip enters that door in the front of the apartment. Doesn’t know that Skip shows Peter big boy stuff on his phone and in magazine’s. Doesn’t know that Skip wants to recreate it.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“I could ask our neighbor for help” Peter argues, even though he knows it’s a lost cause. “Mr. Wood is always home, and really nice!”.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Ben smiles, “Mr. Wood is nice, but so is Skip. Isn’t he?”.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>This is the moment Peter has waited for. The moment Peter could just shake his had in a no, Skip isn’t nice. And maybe, just maybe, Ben would understand.</em>
</p>
<p>“Peter? Buddy, you gotta wake up”.</p>
<p>
  <em>“If your good tonight you get to choose the Pizza toping” Skip says with a smile and a hug as he greets Peter. May and Ben give him a quick goodbye, and kiss on the cheeks and is out the door faster than Peter would like.<br/><br/>
He’d wish they would stay just a minute longer, holding him a little closer. Keeping him safe from the older boy, who looks more and more like the monster from Peter’s nightmares.<br/><br/>
But they don’t. They leave, and parts of Peter fears they wont return. Like his parents didn’t return, and left Peter alone. Like they disappeared, like they died.<br/><br/>
The fear had been bad right after it happened. Right after Peter’s parents plane crashed. Because Peter didn’t want to lose anyone else. Didn’t want to lose anymore. But he’d grown out of it. Had stopped being scared, because nothing did happen. May and Ben always come back home. Of course, his parents also always came back home, but what was the chances that May and Ben would die too?<br/><br/>
After Skip it had gotten back. Maybe because of what Skip was doing to him when May and Ben weren’t around. Or maybe because of the fear of what he would do to him if May and Ben died. Would he stay with Skip if an accident were to happen? Could he stay with Ned’s family? Would he end in foster care?<br/><br/>
He’d told them once, about his fear. Fear of them not coming home, dying and leaving him like his parents. They had assured him they had a plan that would be started, should that ever happen.<br/><br/>
Just like May and Ben, had been his parents plan.</em>
</p>
<p>“Peter come on! It’s okay, you just have to wake up. It’s JUST a nightmare”.</p>
<p>
  <em>“I don’t want to” Peter whines. His on the edge of crying, tears already burning in his eyes, threatening to overflow at any moment. Drip down his pale, hollow, cheeks. “I don’t want to”. Peter repeats as Skip starts to pull out magazines from his bag. As Skips spread them out over the living room table. As Skips go through them, finding tonight’s perfect activity.<br/><br/>
“I don’t want to”.<br/><br/>
It’s four words that seem to simple, so harmless. It’s word any kid will say when they don’t want to go shopping with their parents, when they don’t want to go home from the park yet.<br/><br/>
For Peter those four words are a prayer. A desperate prayer. And maybe if he says them enough times, Skip wont force this on him again. Won’t show him the pictures from the magazines, and wont recommend that that they recrate what they see.<br/><br/>
For Peter those four words, never helps. Doesn’t save him from the torture the Skip will do to him.<br/><br/>
Won’t save him from May and Ben’s expressions when they finally figure out how dirty he is. How useless and weak he is. How pathetic he is.<br/><br/>
“Look at this” Skip has paused on a page in one of the magazines, “Let try this one”.<br/><br/>
Peter wants to run. Wants to cry and scream and pray that May or Ben will come through the door soon. At any moment now. “I don’t want to, Skip”. But they don’t.<br/><br/>
“Of course you want to, now get off your pants Einstein” Skips.<br/><br/>
Peter wants to say no. Wants to pretend not to hear him. Maybe if he just keeps sitting there, on the couch, doing nothing, Skip will stop. Get the message that ‘no’, this isn’t happening. Not today, not tonight. Not ever again.<br/><br/>
Skip doesn’t. After what feels like eternity Skip just sighs, sits down in front of Peter on the floor. And with no care in the world starts to move his hands towards Peter’s pants opening.<br/><br/>
His placed so Peter can’t run away. So Peter can’t get away. “Then we’ll just have to do it that hard way” Skips says. Placing his hands. His big, scary, hands… on the button in Peter’s jeans. It snaps open with no resistance. No fight.<br/><br/>
The zipper is even easier, just slips down, allowing the last form of safety. The last security Peter has, to melt away. Disappeared.<br/><br/>
Because now it takes it a tug from Skip and his pants are gone. And Peter doesn’t fight it. Because it wont help.<br/><br/>
He fought in the beginning. But Peter wasn’t strong enough. Wasn’t powerful enough. Powerless again the older boy with the golden locks.</em>
</p>
<p> “PETER! Wake up!”.</p>
<p>
  <em>Peter’s eyes a squeezed shot. His biting the inside of his lip, hard. The metallic taste of blood, the thick, red, liquid filling his mouth take his mind away from what’s happening for just a moment. The burning pain in his lip, the stiffness of his jar keeping him calm for a minute.<br/><br/>
It isn’t enough, because Skip wants more than a minute. More than a moment. Not a second, or fifteen. No Skip wants hours, on hours, on hours. At least so it feels to the terrified, little kid.<br/><br/>
Skip’s heavy, big, body is laying over the most of his body. The weight holding him down, but also restricting his airflow.<br/><br/>
He can’t breath with Skip on top of him. And without air, you can’t call for help. Can’t scream with the full power of your lungs that ‘some please help me! I don’t want to’. Only desperate gasps can be heard from Peter as he focuses on pulling air into his lungs. Focus on expanding his chest just a little.<br/><br/>
Wishing for the weight to move. To get away. To leave him. But it doesn’t. And Peter, little Peter, definitely isn’t strong enough to push him off.<br/><br/>
So all Peter can do is focus on something else. Anything else than the feeling of the bigger by, forcing himself into his bottom part. Anything else than Skip’s lips against his neck. Anything else than the smell of Skips strong deodorant, that slowly combines with the smell of sweat.<br/><br/>
Because Skip sweats. A lot. His skin is clammy, wet, shining in the pale light from the living room lamp.<br/><br/>
Somewhere Peter can hear the ticking of a clock. Somewhere Peter can feel Skip body on top of him. Somewhere Peter can feel Skip inside of him and feel Skips dry lips against Peter’s skin. Somewhere Peter can…<br/><br/>
… But not here.<br/><br/>
The ticking of the clock sound mechanic, faraway, like if Peter was under water. Like if Peter stuck his head, not… not just his head, his whole body, in a bucket of water.<br/><br/>
Like a shield it protects him, takes him somewhere else. Somewhere far away from Skip, and the living room in his Queens apartment. Away from the weight on his chest, preventing him from breathing. Away from the black spots that’s starting to dance around in his already blurry vision. Away from the sweat, hot smell of Skips wet, watery, drops.<br/><br/>
Away from the nightmares, and the lies, and the monsters. Away from all the things that Peter fears.<br/><br/>
Where it takes him, Peter isn’t sure. Maybe his floating in space, somewhere far from earth. It feels like his floating, so maybe it isn’t so farfetched. And maybe, Peter can stay there forever. Never again having to be babysat by Skip. Never again having to see May and Ben leave. Never again have to think about the fact, that his parents are gone. That they couldn’t even find the bodies, and that the boxes, the caskets, are empty. The caskets that normally would contain whatever is left of the people they lost.<br/><br/>
Because there’s nothing left from his parents. Of his parents.<br/><br/>
And maybe, there isn’t anything left of Peter either. Maybe that’s why his floating. Maybe he left his body behind in the small apartment he grew up in and can now go on adventures all over the world. Not having to fear the death of the people around him.<br/><br/>
But it doesn’t last…</em>
</p>
<p>“Peter! Please, it’s just a nightmare. Wake up”.</p>
<p>
  <em>Peter’s pulled back to reality. To Skip, and the couch and the living room in the apartment that once felt like home, but now feels like a nightmare. Pulled back by the sound of loud footsteps, of screaming, of crying.</em><br/><br/>
Pulled back to a world with May holding him protectively.<br/><br/>
And somehow, somehow, Skips gone. Peter can’t see him. Just smell May’s perfume, the one that smells like summer and flowers. Of better times filled with happiness and smiles. Of good times on the beach, and in the salty water. Of ice cream, and cold soda. Of the sand between his feet, sticking to him until he dries. Back to a world where he can breath, and love and dream, without being haunted by monsters-
</p>
<p>
  <strong>“WAKE UP”.</strong>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I know for a fact the story have taken a bit of a darker turn, but I promise. Things will get better for Peter. In the long run, anyways.</p>
<p>Should I upload two things tomorrow?<br/>The 10th of august (tomorrow) is our all beloved Peter Parker's birthday, and I am therefor thinking of writing a one shot to celebrate the speciel day. Would you as reader perfer that I only post my Peter Parker birthday story, or do you also want me to post a chapter of Not By Blood? I'm honestly fearing that Not By Blood might be drowned out by birthday fanfictions, and while I wouldn't mind posting anyways, I want to hear what you wants! Thank you.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. Hope is the heartbeat of the soul</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I totally forgot to add a flashback in this chapter. But honestly, I feel like it stands stronger without it. I wouldn't know where to put it, or what would happen in it. Bear with me, the flashback's will return!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Peter? Buddy, you gotta wake up” a distant voice says, a distant voice that Peter knows and loves. A voice that over the years have made Peter feel safe in every single possible way.<br/>
<br/>
When May died, that voice told him it was going to be okay.<br/>
<br/>
When the ferry split in two, that voice told him that if he was nothing without the suit, then he should have it.<br/>
<br/>
The voice that told him, that he Peter dies, that on him. That’s on Tony FREAKING Stark. Iron man. His mentor, his father.<br/>
<br/>
He’s being carefully shaken awake by the big hands that smell like oil and cars. That feels powerful, protective and safe. That will do anything, and everything, to make Peter happy. Weather that’s building a new Iron man suit in the lab, or hugging him close after a rough patrol when Peter couldn’t save someone.<br/>
<br/>
The man, the owner of the voice, and the owner of those hands. Would always be his hero.<br/>
<br/>
Peter carefully blinks his eyes open. Their heavy with sleep, and it’s a struggle. He realizes his skin’s covered in sweat. He can feel his hair being drenched, and the normally soft texture of his pillows and blankets have been replaced with the wet feeling of stickiness.<br/>
<br/>
“That’s it buddy, you’re alright. It was just a nightmare” Tony’s sitting next to him. Halfway on the bed, and halfway in the air. Hands carefully placed on both of Peter’s shoulders. “Do you want to talk about it?”.<br/>
<br/>
Peter shakes his head, it’s beating and hurting and it’s the start of a migraine that’s going to pull his brain apart second by second, till he can’t do anything but lay still with closed eyes for the rest of his life. At least so it feels in the moment. “No”. Peter whispers.<br/>
<br/>
“I get that” Tony says “I don’t like to talk about my nightmare either. So, I won’t push” And… well Peter isn’t sure what to do with that.<br/>
<br/>
Peter knows that Tony has nightmares. It has never been said out loud, Peter has never seen it. But Peter still knows. Nightmares are a part of the job, a part of life. And Peter knows Tony has PTSD. It’s no secret. It can’t be. It would be really hard to hide. Because Peter still remembers the first time in the lab when Tony crashed to the floor, something having triggered one of his panic attacks.<br/>
<br/>
Peter doesn’t know exactly what Tony nightmares and panic attacks is about, but good guess would his time in the cave, the wormhole in the sky over New York city, Siberia, his parent’s death, the booming in Malibu. Just to name a few.<br/>
<br/>
But Tony isn’t very open. Doesn’t talk about those parts of his life. Doesn’t let anyone in, except maybe Pepper and Rhodey. Maybe Happy, and maybe… but only maybe Bruce. And Dr. Brown of course.<br/>
<br/>
“Wh-what happened to being better than you?” Peter asks. Voice breaking. Because he needs to know. ‘And I wanted you to be better’. The word still rang in his head, that tone, that… that…<br/>
<br/>
“You can be better, by talking about it when your ready” Tony says, “Because you’re always going to be better than me”.<br/>
<br/>
“C-can I as-ask you something?” Peter whispers. He isn’t sure at first if Tony hears, maybe his talking so low that Peter only hears himself because of his super sense. Because of the super hearing. But Tony gives him a careful smile and a nod that says, ‘go on’, so Peter does. “I like to think Spider-man gives people hope. But how can he do that, when even Peter Parker doesn’t have any? I haven’t been out in street; I haven’t patrolled since May. What if People don’t believe in my anymore? What if people lose… faith?”. It’s been months. Over 3 months, since Peter last went out.<br/>
<br/>
Sure, the suit is placed in Peter backpack, he could any day after school go patrol all he wants. If he wanted. But in the end, he didn’t. Spider-man doesn’t pay for his mistakes, his errors, his failures. The people he loves do. Like Ben, and like May.<br/>
<br/>
There’s a moment of silence, of quietness, so quiet that only the sound of their breath is heard. Something in Tony’s eyes is sad, is happy, is frustrated and confused, all at the same time. And maybe, Peter thinks, maybe Tony is trying to find a kind way to shoot him down. To tell him to stop being Spider-man. ‘If your nothing without this suit, then you shouldn’t have it’. But that doesn’t happen.<br/>
<br/>
“Did you know, I used to be The Merchant of Death?” Tony asks. Peter gives a nod, it’s from back when he created weapons. Before Iron man, and before the Avengers. “I saw young Americans killed, by the very weapons I created to protect them and defend them. The weapons that where supposed to be used to give people in a less than optimal situation hope. And that name, The Merchant of death, that’s people’s way of showing me they lost faith”. Tony takes a deep, shuddering breath, “But you, Underoos. Your going to be the best of us. People might have lost faith in me, and the Avengers. But not in you”.<br/>
<br/>
Tony meets Peter eyes, “How can you be so sure?”.<br/>
<br/>
“Remember what you told me about that night, about what happened on that roof?” Tony ask, voice more serious than ever before.<br/>
<br/>
Peter nods “I told Flash that, it’s my responsibility to forgive him, because that’s in my power to do so” Peter repeats. Just like he had said it in the apartment when Flash asked why Peter could forgive him, just like Peter had told Tony when asking if Flash could come over.<br/>
<br/>
“And that sentence, that made something clear to me” Tony says, “I though that power was what brought responsibility, but it’s not. I was wrong, Ben was wrong… it’s responsibility that brings power. It’s to know what needs to be done, that brings strength and courage”. Tony clears his throat, “And Pete, that gives me hope. And that on you”. </p><p>***</p><p>Peter doesn’t go back to sleep that night. He couldn’t even if he wanted to. To many things, too many words is floating around inside his already overactive brain.<br/>
<br/>
He had walked around the compound for a while, chatting with Rhodey and Bucky, who were sitting in the living room watching TV. But otherwise most of the compound was quiet. And Peter had in the end, gone back to his bedroom. Crept under the blankets, head on the pillow and stared up into the celling. Now decorated by stares.<br/>
<br/>
‘That up there… that’s the endgame’, Natasha words from the night in that restaurant echoed in his head.<br/>
<br/>
He had somehow made Tony trust Bucky, at least a little more than he had before. People talked more during dinner, Tony and Peter joined movie nights and Peter (even though people didn’t know about his spider side) was often invited to join training if they went on to do something fun. Like the ice skating in the winter.<br/>
<br/>
Natasha had invited Peter to join her during ballet more than once, but so far Peter had declined. Steve, Sam and Bucky, hadn’t. Friday had shown Peter the videos afterwards.<br/>
<br/>
All in all things where looking better, but where that enough for the avengers to beat whatever was out there? Could a man in a suit, a human doing PSA’s for school, two former killers, a girl with magical powers given to her from a magical stone, a android build on that very same stone, a deaf person with a bow and arrow, a green skinned anger machine, and a god, really save earth from whatever where out there?<br/>
<br/>
2012, New York had only been the beginning. A taste of what was to come. There was no way of denying that, even though Peter had tried to when he first became Spider-man.<br/>
<br/>
Because if the aliens return with even more power than before. In a bigger number, with more dangerous weapons… then Peter would have to fight as well, wouldn’t he? So he had though about it. Of course he had.<br/>
<br/>
Back then he denied it because he was scared. Peter Parker was scared.<br/>
<br/>
Spider-man, he wasn’t. He was someone else.<br/>
<br/>
Peter would like to think he could become, could be, just a little more like his alter ego. Like Spider-man. But maybe, just maybe it was the other way around. Maybe Spider-man had to become and be a little more like Peter Parker.<br/>
<br/>
Maybe then, Peter would be able to help defend whatever was up there. Help during the endgame. Save everyone, like he couldn’t save Ben. Like with a snap of his fingers. And he would do it. Spider-man would, just as well as Peter Parker would. They’d give their life for all of earth if things came to that. If that was what the endgame needed, he would do so. Even if it was the last thing he ever did. Because he had to.<br/>
<br/>
With that though Peter let himself relax, just a little more than he had ever since he entered the compound. He could make a difference, and he could give people hope. Even if he wasn’t currently swinging around New York by a web.<br/>
<br/>
Peter sunk a little deeper into the mattress. Close his eyes and took a deep breath. Spreading out his sense over the compound, like a Rader. In a way he hadn’t ever done before.<br/>
<br/>
Tony was awake, his heartbeat said a much. The little irregular beats from his time with the arc reactor, made it easy for Peter to recognize. The same irregular beats that Peter would focus on during their lab session.<br/>
<br/>
Right next to Tony was Pepper, a powerful, health heartbeat. One that showed her strength, but still was gentle, all at the same time.<br/>
<br/>
Bucky and Steve’s hearts both sound stronger than any normal humans’ heartbeat. Like Peters, you could hear the sound of the serum making them stronger, more sensitive, more powerful.<br/>
<br/>
Bruce’s was similar to Rhodey’s, and once a long time ago might have been exactly the same. Now there were a undertone of hulk in it’s every beat. Like a scream, or maybe more like a monster roar. Strong and loud, and filled with passion.<br/>
<br/>
Vision didn’t have one. Vision couldn’t die the same was everyone else could. But the mind stone, the yellow crystal shining in the top of the android’s head had it’s own sound that filled all of Visions body. Like vibrations, or maybe a language. A way of communicating with, something out there. Something different. The other stones?<br/>
<br/>
Wanda was gentle, with a sense of longing to every beat. Like something, no… someone had been ripped from her. Left her broken, alone in the cold world.<br/>
<br/>
Natasha were as sneaky as she herself were. Slow by stead somewhere close.<br/>
<br/>
Clint’s where echoed through the building, probably based on the fact he was hiding in the vent like a real spy would do it.<br/>
<br/>
He could sense every heartbeat, every location, of everyone in the compound. Of every animal in forest, and even hear radio signals. All by focusing his Spidey-sense. Had he always been capable of doing so, or where he slowly changing more and more without realizing that he-<br/>
<br/>
And with a beat it’s quiet. And all he can focus on is that quite beat. New, and special. Different. Like Tony and Pepper’s hearts combined to a powerful, indescribable power. But unfocused, and fragile as it grew a little louder for every second Peter focus on it. For every moment there went. Like a little flame growing bigger and bigger. Warm and Warm. Until it was ready to show it’s full potential. It’s full strength.<br/>
<br/>
The rest of the night Peter lays there, listing to the new beat, that had joined rest of the Avengers powerful collection.<br/>
<br/>
That night, something special had started.<br/>
<br/>
The endgame was nearing.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Any guess about that new heartbeat?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. Note to self: Stop expecting</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next morning, getting up, out of bed, eating breakfast with the other avengers in the kitchen, getting a shower, picking out cloth and getting into Happy’s car, all happens automatically. His tired, not really there, and let’s his morning routine run on auto piolet.<br/>
<br/>
He ends up looking kind of like a mess. His hair is standing out to all sides, not it’s usually soft curls. His brown eyes the usually shine, has big black bags under them. The hoodie his wearing isn’t his. It’s Tony’s. MIT logo on the back, Tony’s name written on the left side of his chest. It haven’t been cleaned in ages, and is stained with a combination of oil from the workshop, and maybe a little blood from the last time Peter was injured. Because that hoodie has become his go to when hurt. Feeling safer with Tony’s smell near him. And of course, it smells like Tony.<br/>
<br/>
Today it’s a comfort in a different way. Peter isn’t hurt, not in that sense. His mentally destroyed after everything with Skip the day before, after the nightmare.<br/>
<br/>
The only reason his still going right now is that heartbeat. The new one. The one he can’t explain.<br/>
<br/>
“You sure you want to go today Kid?” Happy asks from the front seat, sending looks to Peter in the mirror. “It’s okay if you don’t, we can wait till we have figure whole the Skip thing out” He points out. Just like Tony had before Peter took a seat in the car. Just like Pepper had when she placed a plate of eggs in front of him. Like Bruce had, handing him a calorie shake and a headache pill. Because damn the headache was beating right behind Peter’s eyes, cause his Spidey-sense to be all over the place warning him of non-existent danger.<br/>
<br/>
Peter nods quietly, “I’m sure Happy. I just want to live as normally as possible. To much is going on lately with May, and Skip and Ned and MJ”. Peter sinks a little deeper into the leather seats of the car.<br/>
<br/>
Happy gives a nod, “Okay then. But call me if you need to go home early, it’s okay” Happy reminds, pulling up, into the parking lot of Midtown high. “And what happened with Ned and MJ?”.<br/>
<br/>
“I’m not sure” Peter shrugs “I forgave Flash, and things just took a turn. They got more distant and I started hanging more with Flash”.<br/>
<br/>
“Maybe they just worry about you, Flash you bully for a long time, wasn’t he?” Happy points out, turning in his seat so he can look directly at Peter. It’s become routine to talk about stuff in the morning. Peter and Happy have gotten close. Family kind of close. In a way that should have included May too, but that isn’t possible. So they do it all on their own.<br/>
<br/>
“I mean, sure” Peter replies “But after seeing Flash on the roof that night… it was scary and I just realized some things”.<br/>
<br/>
“Have you told them that?” Happy asks, “That things changed?”.<br/>
<br/>
Peter shakes his head, “I guess I don’t feel like it’s my secret to tell. It wouldn’t feel right, you know”.<br/>
<br/>
Happy gives a tight nod to Peter before whishing him a good day as Peter slings his bag over the shoulder and get’s out the car. Ned and MJ is standing in front of the school building talking, like they had done so many times before. Back when the three of them hung out all the time. Back when things where different.<br/>
<br/>
Maybe their finally read to accept that Flash has changed?<br/>
<br/>
Peter takes a few steps up the stairs to the entrance. Ned and MJ send him quiet, friendly smiles and a small wink. So Peter goes their way, smiles happily at them and greets them as he get’s closer.<br/>
<br/>
“Hey Ned, MJ. Had a good night sleep?” he asks, hoping to start of lightly. They haven’t had a real conversation in a while.<br/>
<br/>
“Hey loser” MJ greets in her own way, grinning slightly at him “Depends what is a good night sleep to you” she points out in her own MJ kind of way. “Are you joining us for extra decathlon practice tonight? We hope to train as much as possible before the championships in DC”.<br/>
<br/>
“I have heard the favorites to wining this year is from Whitestone Academy. Some private school in here in Queens too” Ned says “We might know some of the kids from middle school. That would be SO COOL!”.<br/>
<br/>
Peter nods, “Sure, I will” Peter replies. “Where do we practice?”.<br/>
<br/>
“We don’t know yet, it’s Flash’s turn but he haven’t shown up yet and his usually early” MJ says with a shrug, “I’ll keep you posted”.<br/>
<br/>
MJ and Ned turn and starts walking towards the door so they can get their stuff before class. But Peter stops them, a last-minute idea popping into his head. “I’m sure Tony wouldn’t mind if we practice at the Compound, if Flash for some reason can’t host”.<br/>
<br/>
MJ turns around, sends him a smile and “Sounds great, Parker”. </p><p>***</p><p>Flash doesn’t turn up for school, and Peter… Peter walks alone to lunch, sits alone in class, and waits alone in front of the school when the bells rings. He ha already confirmed with both Happy, Tony and Pepper that the team can come over for practice. Usually he would be waiting with Ned, but not today.<br/>
<br/>
While usually when the team would meet up in one of their homes, they would walk there together, this day was different. Peter would go home with Happy like he always did, while everyone else would just, show up at some point.<br/>
<br/>
Is sounds fine in theory.<br/>
<br/>
In reality it turns into one big mess. People come at around seven, eat some snakes while practicing everything from math equations to historic moments. And during their segment of World War two, both Steve and Bucky joins the kids as they all try their best to answer the questions.<br/>
<br/>
So on the surface things are going well, fine. Okay, alright. Or whatever.<br/>
<br/>
But as the night draws to a close Tony comes in, a furious look at his face. “Who posted about this to social media?!” it comes out with a growl. A madness Peter is lucky enough never to have been on the receiving end of.<br/>
<br/>
Pepper follows closely behind Tony, trying to calm him down and standing between Tony and Peter’s team. It doesn’t go well at all.<br/>
<br/>
“I should have made you all sign NDA’s!” Tony snares, “Now tell me who posted to social media!”.<br/>
<br/>
“Tony what are yo-“ Peter tries to get a word in but is cut of by Tony.<br/>
<br/>
He shakes his head “Sip it! The adult is talking” Tony turns to the rest of the kids, “Tell me right now, or I’ll personality make sure none of you ever get into any good university”.<br/>
<br/>
It takes half an hour, a very mad Tony, and a less mad Pepper to figure everything out. One from Peter team has posted a selfie from the compound, without realizing that there’s a piece of technology in the background. It’s blurry, and you really can’t see what it is, but Tony is stressed enough as it is, due to some Justin Hammer problem.<br/>
<br/>
It doesn’t make it any better, that the picture is posted by Ned.<br/>
<br/>
Peter tries to defend his friend as parents come to pick up the others, tries to protect Ned from Tony’s meltdown madness. But it’s to no avail. There’s nothing he can do.<br/>
<br/>
When everyone has finally left, when Tony has gone to bed under strict watch of Pepper, Peter is just sitting there looking out the big windows of the compound. Begging that nobody at school will hear about what happened.<br/>
<br/>
Peter doesn’t know for how long he sits there.<br/>
<br/>
“Паук? Is everything okay?” it’s Natasha suddenly standing in the door to the living quarters, and right behind is Bucky.<br/>
<br/>
Peter doesn’t make eyes contact, just looks at them and sighs, “I’m fine… just, Tony related problems I guess”. He shrugs. He isn’t sure what happened tonight, or ever actually. Peter knew about Tony’s drinking habits, knew from Pepper that he still struggled, but had Tony been drunk?<br/>
<br/>
Both of the spies (or are they soldiers) joins Peter on the couch. </p><p>
  <em>Ben sits on Peter’s left, and May on Peter’s right.<br/>
<br/>
The movie that Ben wanted to show them is already running on the TV. A bowl of popcorn on the table right in front of them. With a soda for Peter and coffee for both May and Ben.<br/>
<br/>
It was the kind of perfect family movie night most kids talked about at school. The kind of thing Peter had always dreamed of doing, not with May and Ben but Mary and Richard. But now that was too late.<br/>
<br/>
And even if it did look like one of those nights, it didn’t feel like it at all.<br/>
<br/>
Peter and Ned had been in a fight.<br/>
<br/>
Not the ‘let hit each other’ kind of fight. The mental kind of fight. And honestly, Peter still wasn’t quiet sure why it had happened.<br/>
<br/>
Ben had found Peter in the schoolyard, laying on the ground, crying, after Peter hadn’t come home for dinner. And when Peter had told Ben was happened, Ben had promised everything would be okay, soon enough.<br/>
<br/>
So had May.</em>
</p><p> “This doesn’t look like Stark trouble” Natasha pointed out, “I would know since I have had my fair share of it”.<br/>
<br/>
Peter shakes his head, “I guess your right… there’s just a lot going on”.<br/>
<br/>
“Me and Natasha both know that feeling” Bucky points out “if you need to talk we’re here for you”.<br/>
<br/>
And so Peter tells them about how he felt about May, about the feeling of blood seeping through his shirt the night Ben died. About the apartment, and the pictures from the box. About the diary, about Skip. About the night on the roof with Flash and everything that followed. About his parents (who Natasha had seemingly known well). And about Ned and MJ’s cold shoulder towards Peter.<br/>
<br/>
“That sound like a mouthful Peter” Bucky places his metal arm over Peter’s shoulder, “But you’ll get through this, you seem like a strong kid”.<br/>
<br/>
Peter shrugs, “I don’t feel strong at all right now”.<br/>
<br/>
“If Паук as Natasha calls you is anything to go by, you beat both me and Falcon in Berlin. That sound pretty strong to me” Bucky says with a kindhearted smile.<br/>
<br/>
Peter sighs “Natasha, you gotta stop calling me that or whole the team will know soon enough!”.<br/>
<br/>
Natasha smirks “I don’t see how that would be so bad”.<br/>
<br/>
“Because I can’t keep doing this…” Peter whispers. To a point where only he hears it, despite Bucky being just as enhanced as Peter.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So honestly, I'm not sure if the last line is said by Peter, or by me. Maybe both?<br/>I don't know when the next chapter will be. It can be next week, or in a year. There's no saying... I'm breaking... I can't do this... I can't keep going...</p><p>I'm sorry...</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. Save me from my reality</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>By the time you read this, it's already too late. I'm sorry...</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Sure thing, Peter” Bruce says, smiling carefully to Peter who’s standing there. Bags under his eyes, looking pale and thin. “I’ll get Helen to stop by later, she knows way more about those pills than I do. We’d rather not have you overdose” the last is said with a slight amount of humor in it. It’s a joke. Peter chuckles.<br/>
<br/>
“Yeah, that would be good. Thanks Bruce” Peter thanks the scientist carefully. His backpack is already packed, breakfast eaten, and a shower taken.<br/>
<br/>
Bruce smiles, “It’s really no problem Peter. We get it, most of the Avengers have struggled with sleep and nightmare’s a lot”.</p><p>***</p><p>The drive to school that morning is quiet. Peter is sitting with headphones on, and Happy isn’t there. It’s one of Tony’s other drivers driving Peter this morning, seen as Happy is on a plan with both Pepper and Tony. Emergency SI work in Tokyo. Something about a burning building.<br/>
<br/>
As the car pulls up to the front of the school Peter carefully steps out. The backpack is hanging on one shoulder. The strop holds tightly in Peter’s hand.<br/>
<br/>
His greeted by Flash in the hallway at the lockers. Codes are typed in; chatter fills the hall. Books are collected for different classes, and people carefully tries to get by so they can get to their class. Peter and Flash both have math in the morning.<br/>
<br/>
Ned and MJ used to have math too, but recently, they stopped showing. Peter’s best guess is that they choose something else now. Maybe they got lower level math, and music in the morning?<br/>
<br/>
“I’ve heard extra practice went to shit last night” Flash says as they sit together in the back of the class. “Sorry I couldn’t be there. Must have sucked a lot”. Peter shrugs. It did suck. Not that Tony had been made, Peter had seen that before. But that Ned had ignored Peter’s messages ever since. Like if Peter where poison ready to kill him at any minute.<br/>
<br/>
Peter pulls out his laptop, windows in loading slowly. “I’ve tried worse” Peter replies. Wanting to forget yesterday even happened. “Why weren’t you there?”.<br/>
<br/>
Flash turns pale, sweaty. His breathing because just a little quicker. “F-Family stuff” he stammers. Like that explains anything.<br/>
<br/>
Well, to the normal person it might haven’t. But Peter knows Better. Remembers the night, on the roof a little too well. So, he nods careful at Flash’s statement, before focusing on what the teacher is talking about in the front of the class.<br/>
<br/>
Something about vectors.</p><p>***</p><p>“Hey Loser” MJ greets as she slips down in the bench next to Peter during lunch. Ned is nowhere to be seen, and Peter can’t spot Flash either. Not that it’s that surprising. During class it’s easier to Flash and Peter to hangout and work together, seen as most of Flash’s friends take the normal levels stuff. And both Peter and Flash takes classes on a higher level. But during lunch and breaks, Flash stays away from Peter.<br/>
<br/>
Peter gives a small smile in greeting “Hey MJ. Don’t you usually eat lunch with Ned?”.<br/>
<br/>
She carefully returns to smiles and shakes her head, “Not today. Ned is still a little, all over the place after what happened last night”. And that Peter can understand, his is himself a little all over the place.<br/>
<br/>
“I get that” Peter says around a bit of chicken “Tony’s just really stressed lately; he didn’t mean to get made. It just happened”. It won’t help his case anything.<br/>
<br/>
“I’m sure that fire in Tokyo didn’t help either” MJ points out, her phone already out of her pocket, pictures of the burned down building has already been posted all over the internet. And together with them is a small stamen from Pepper, and a promise of a press conference in the afternoon to answer whatever questions people might have.<br/>
<br/>
Peter shakes his head, “Differently didn’t”.<br/>
<br/>
Peter and MJ talks for a while. It’s forced and weird compared to just a few months ago. But Peter knew that would happen.<br/>
<br/>
Halfway through lunch Ned joins them too, but only long enough to send Peter a mad glare, and pull MJ with him as they leave for a different table.<br/>
<br/>
Peter is left alone.</p><p>***</p><p>The hallway between lunch and study hall, is a mess. Not that there’s a lot of people, most have already found their classes and seats.<br/>
<br/>
No, it’s a mess in the way that Peter is trapped in a corner, a handful of Flash’s old friends surrounding him, and Flash standing in the background watching. Not telling them to leave Peter alone, not trying to get between them, or to defend him in the slightest.<br/>
<br/>
Peter know Flash won’t. Peter doesn’t expect him too.<br/>
<br/>
A bucket of cold water is thrown over Peter. His cloths getting soaked, in the icy water in the matter of seconds. His hair dripping. A little of it enters his nose and mouth, making Peter gasp and choke for just a minutes before he starts to cough violently.<br/>
<br/>
One of the bigger boys push Peter too the floor, down into the pool of water beneath him. Soaking his already wet pants.<br/>
<br/>
Had it been just a few months ago, Ned or MJ might have been there to pull him up. To save him, either by words, or by getting bullied themselves. Because that was how their friendship where. That was how things used to be. And Peter would do anything to make things like that again, even if it meant being beaten to death every second day by Flash and his friends. Even if it meant Tony hating him for defending Ned and MJ.<br/>
<br/>
Peter would do anything.<br/>
<br/>
Before he really knows it the boys are gone, and Peter is alone in the halfway. Wet to the skin.<br/>
<br/>
Peter carefully tries to get up from the slippery floor, using the wall of lockers for support. Before carefully walking to the boys bathroom, squeezing as much water out of his cloth as he possibly can, before putting on a spare hoodie from his locker.<br/>
<br/>
Peter doesn’t turn up for study hall.</p><p>***</p><p>By the time class is over and the last bell rings, Peter just wants to go home. His standing near the stairs in the front of the building, waiting for the driver to show. He got a text 15 minutes earlier, that his driver was a little late. Bad traffic.<br/>
<br/>
The springs sun is heating up the pavement under Peter’s feet. Making it almost sticky, and soft.<br/>
<br/>
Peter just standing with his phone, looking out onto the rode hoping for the driver to show soon. Hoping that Pepper and Tony will be home tonight. That Helen can help him.<br/>
<br/>
He doesn’t notice how people talk behind his back, the whispers, the hushed voices. Doesn’t see how everyone is looking at their phones, at what’s being posted online. Peter just hopes that things will return to normal soon enough.<br/>
<br/>
By the time most of the kids has left, 30 minutes later, Peter is still standing there. No news from the driver, no news from Tony or Pepper. And Not even anything from Happy.<br/>
<br/>
Peter almost wants to just leave, walk home, get a taxi or take the subway. Text that driver that ‘hey it’s cool. Don’t come, I’m fine’. Because that would be easier at this point. Faster, than waiting in the sun.<br/>
<br/>
“Peter!” a voice Peter knows very well calls from behind him. Ned and MJ are standing a few meters behind him, something in their eyes Peter can’t quiet read. “You better say sorry about last night, Peter. Or maybe you forgot how friends are supposed to stand up for each other!?”. Ned’s eyes is almost at sharp as a knife.<br/>
<br/>
Ned takes a step closer ”How could you do that to your own friends Peter!” Ned shouts, “You just, left us. For whom? Flash, your lifetime bully? And you didn’t even tell us?!”. Ned shakes his head, “And now this? Can’t even stand up for me to your ‘father’, huh?”.<br/>
<br/>
Ned pulls out a news paper from his backpack, showing it into Peter’s face. The title is big, impossible not to see. It makes Peter’s heart skip a beat, makes his breath quicken.<br/>
<br/>
Tony Stark adopts Queens orphan and Spider-man was rapped, is on the front page in big, black, letter. “If we we’re still friends, maybe we would help you” Ned growls, “Maybe we’d be there for you. But you couldn’t even do that for us! For me!”.<br/>
<br/>
Peter takes a few careful steps down the stairs, and stumbles, falls, hand hitting the pavement first. A loud, sickening crack can be heard, as he collieds with the ground at the end of the stairs. A stinging, intense pain shots through his arm. Throbbing pain paralyses him.<br/>
<br/>
Ned’s standing over him, MJ in the background. “This is what you get for leaving your friends behind like that, Peter. Because that’s what we where right, friends? Or did the spotlight make you forget that?”.<br/>
<br/>
Ned pulls open his backpack, every book, every paper, every pen falls out onto the floor, the ground. Down into the muddy water in a puddle of rain. And from the very bottom of the bag, at last… the suit… the red and blue spandex falls out. Ned picks it up, careful hands that is shaking as he touches the soft fabric. “I didn’t know Spider-man would leave his own friend… dude” Ned says, now calm, quiet, disappointed, “You defended me once, why not yesterday?” and they walk away.<br/>
<br/>
Leaves Peter on the ground next to the suit left on the ground. Soaked in dirty, muddy water. Ned and MJ turns around the corner of the school building. Peter’s phone vibrates. ‘Can’t pick you up’ the driver text. No explanation, no nothing.<br/>
<br/>
Peter carefully get’s to his feet, holding his bad arm close to his body, and tries not to use it as he picks up his stuff. Throws it in to backpack in one big mess.</p><p>
  <em>“Hey, I’m Ned. Who are you?” a young boy smiles down at Peter who’s sitting in the grass, reading a book about space.<br/>
<br/>
Peter returns the smiles “I’m Peter. Nice to meet you Ned”.<br/>
<br/>
“Is that a book about space?” Ned askes, sitting down next to Peter. “Did you know there have been made movies about it? Space you know. It’s called Star Wars!!” Ned talks with happiness in his voice.<br/>
<br/>
Peter shakes his head, “No. I didn’t know that”.<br/>
<br/>
Ned’s eyes lights up, widen but in the good way “I’m going to show you!”.</em>
</p><p>***</p><p>“Do you want to explain to me, how you broke you arm in, not one but two places, while at school?” Helen asks Peter while casting the arm who she has just reset. “This is worse than some of you Spider-man injuries” she points out with a serious tone. Bruce is watching from the sideline.<br/>
<br/>
Peter sighs “Like I already told you, I feel on the stairs in front of the school”. Helen and Bruce both give him a look saying, ‘you better have something better than that’.<br/>
<br/>
“With you spider abilities that shouldn’t even be possible” Bruce says, “your Spidey sense would have warned you”. And Bruce is right. Normally Peter’s Spidey sense would have saved him from a minor fall like that.<br/>
<br/>
“They have been acting up lately” Peter whispers “Stress can do that. They turn on when there’s no danger but miss stuff like stairs”.<br/>
<br/>
Bruce hums, “If that’s the case, what could be so stressful for you that you Spidey sense didn’t work?”.<br/>
<br/>
Peter shrugs “I’m sure you heard about Skip”. Helen and Bruce both nods, “Well, Ned and MJ also seem to hate me for being friends with Flash. And… have you seen the news?”. Peter pulls his phone out with his good arm, opening the articles and showing them to Bruce and Helen.<br/>
<br/>
Bruce shakes his head, green growing up against his neck and down his arms and fingers. Helen places a calming hand on Bruce’s shoulder. “That shouldn’t have been posted. Who leaked that?”.<br/>
<br/>
“I don’t know” Peter says. “The article says it’s an anonymous source”.<br/>
<br/>
Bruce takes a few deep breaths, “I’m going to call Tony” and then he leaves Peter and Helen alone.<br/>
<br/>
The a moment of silence and then, “Well, remember those sleeping pill’s I asked for back in December?” Peter asks. Dr. Cho nods. “How far have you gotten with them?”.</p><p>***</p><p>The blue pills bottle has more warning on than Peter can count. Helen had gone over the most important once back in the Med Bay, and had then trusted Peter to use them as needed.<br/>
<br/>
Though, Helen had reminded him repeatedly, that ‘They aren’t tested. We don’t know what kind of side effects they could cause. Feeling just a little bit off? Come to me or Bruce right away’.<br/>
<br/>
Peter had promised he would.<br/>
<br/>
Helen’s guess on dosage, where… well a guess. Based on age, height and weight. Peter does care, Peter just can’t take a moment more.<br/>
<br/>
Peter fills a glass with Water in the bathroom sink, before walking to his bed with pills and water. He sits down carefully and opens the pill container.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I'm sorry.<br/>When you read this, it's already too late.<br/>When I post this the clock will tick up to 00:00, the 18th of august, danish time.<br/>And my life, will change in ways, I can't even imagine.<br/>I don't know what's on the other side. Don't know what to expect.<br/>Will it be dark and gray? Or will it be bright and happy?<br/>The stress is getting the better of me, but tonight, for just a minute... and maybe forever, I'll forget about it.<br/>A second, that's all it takes for life to be turned upside down.<br/>This changes things for me... my parents, my sisters.<br/>I knew this was coming, I've known for a while. Planned it, and waited. For months.<br/>I want to thank you, before it happens.<br/>Thank you for reading, and commenting. For giving kodus, and for supporting me when I needed a break.<br/>Thank you, for following my last few words...<br/>... while I'm 17.<br/>That's right! I'm an adult now. Or well, 18 at least. Who would have though.<br/>I kept this chapter hidden for a few days, not knowing if I'd get time to write one. Which I didn't btw. But I wanted to celebrate my birthday with you guys, just like I wanted to with my parents and sisters.<br/>Thank you for being there, and all the awesome, supportive comments on the last chapter.<br/>This doesn't quiet mean I'm back. I'm struggling to balance everything. And I sadly got a long historie of anxiety, stress and depression.<br/>But I'll be back, hopefully sooner, than later.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0025"><h2>25. Let dreams be your wings</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So, it's different. It's a dream. The chapter title says as much. It's me exploring, it's me having fun with my writing. <br/>This is the start of the 4th act of not by blood.<br/>We a celebrating again, today, it's a year ago I was officially, diagnosed on the autism spectrum. <br/>I just couldn't wait to write this scene! I think it was a lot of fun.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>“Peter, you have to wake up, you’ll be late for school!” A female voice calls from the kitchen of the small neighborhood house in the middle of Queens. Peter turns around the new double bed he got just a few days earlier. It’s bigger than his old one, and fill’s the room better than the old one ever did. Leaving less empty space, and making it feel, more like home.<br/><br/>
Peter blinks his eyes open; an iron man poster is hanging on the wall right across from his bed. It’s the first thing he sees in the morning, and the last thing before he goes to sleep. And he dreams of being a hero too. “I’ll be right down!”. Peter calls back.<br/><br/>
He carefully sits up, let’s his feet hit the light wooden floor of his bedroom, and carefully put’s his weight on the floors as he gets up.<br/><br/>
His room is a mess. Like any normal teens, his floor is covered in smelly, stinky, cloth. Empty soda bottles and chips bags is laying all around the, ironically empty trash can. But unlike most teens, Peter’s room is also a mess with different piece of technology. And old CD player, a broken monitor, Ben’s old computer. Most of it is pulled apart and spread over the floor. Because Peter is working on a project.<br/><br/>
Peter somehow gets to his closet without stepping on anything, it’s half empty, most of thing in it being just as dirty as what’s laying on the floor.<br/><br/>
Peter just pulls something out of, that doesn’t smell of look to bad, and pulls the cray shirt over his head. It’s plain and fits well with the jeans and quickly slips into as well, before steering towards the bathroom to fix his mess of hair and brush his teeth.<br/><br/>
Before he finally makes his way down the wooden stairs and enters the kitchen. He let’s himself fall into his usually spot at the dining table. Richard and Mary is already sitting there. Orange juice in cups, butter on the toast. And the newspaper is laying open next to Peter’s father.<br/><br/>
“Morning Pete” Richard smiles at him and pushed the orange juice and Peter’s direction.<br/><br/>
Peter send a carefully smile back to Richard and Mary, “Morning dad, mom”. The happiness is clear in Peter’s voice, and he energetically puts butter on his own slice of toast.<br/><br/>
“Is Ned going to be joining us for dinner tonight?” Mary, Peter’s mom asks kindly, taking a sip of her coffee cup. Peter nods with a smile on his face, eye’s wide with energy, as he starts to talk about that scene from the Star Wars movie, that Ned and Peter are currently making theories about. Guessing about what that could mean for the sequels upcoming.<br/><br/>
Peter’s father chuckles lightly behind the newspaper, “Sound like you guys are having a tone of fun, why don’t invite that girl alone? What was her name again? MJ?”.<br/><br/>
Peter blushes, “Eh… uhm…” Peter takes a deep breath, carefully not to die of embarrassment. “I don’t think she care’s much about Star wars” he then says, “Or me for that matter” he mumbles under his breath.<br/><br/>
“What was that?” Mary asks, a knowing look in her eyes. She knows. She knows. SHE KNOWS?! How does she know about Peter’s feelings for MJ!? “Careful, I can already hear the questions coming. But keep in mind it’s a parent’s job to know that kind of stuff”.<br/><br/>
Peter sighs, “More like a secret agent parent”. Because of course, Peter’s family isn’t normal. Why would it be. In a world with Aliens, Superheroes and wormhole’s in the skin… nothings normal. And for Peter it just goes to a new level. His parents work’s for shield, and together with Oscorp and shield they are trying to recreated to super soldier serum that had been used on Steve Rogers, better known as Captain America. They had named their latest, and so far most successful attempt for Project Oz, and it was going to be combined with Spider DNA! How cool is that?! But it likely would work, seen as, they had tried since before Peter was born.<br/><br/>
Richard gives Peter a pointed look that says ‘you better be happy shield don’t have camera’s in here or you’d be dead’. Peter just shakes his head, smiles at his dad, and grabs his backpack before he runs out the kitchen, and out the front door. “See you after school!”.<br/><br/>
Peter meet’s need out front, and together they jump onto the school bus. The yellow bus is overcrowded and they both have to stand as they make their way towards midtown high, for the best field trip ever! A turn off the Oscorp building!<br/><br/>
Sure, Peter had seen part’s of it before, both because of his parents work, but also because of his close relationship with Normans son, Harry Osborn.<br/><br/>
They where born the same day, and their parents had become friend while working on their project. Only a few year’s later Harry’s mother had die, murdered really. Mary had taken Harry under her wing and let him into their family and their house when things where rough. He had his own toothbrush in their bathroom, cloth in a bag in the bottom of Peter’s closet, and a place to be when his father where… less fatherly.<br/><br/>
But just because he had seen parts of it before, a turn with the school opened up for new places and more information. Plus, he got to do it with Ned, who… well didn’t know about Peter’s parents or friendship with Harry.<br/><br/>
“It’s going to be so cool” Ned talked through the bus ride, “Oscorp is like, the biggest and coolest tech building in the world!” Ned talks loudly before suddenly staying shot. Peter can almost see Ned’s thoughts go crazy in there. “Well, I guess Stark tower, better known as avengers tower, is cooler. But Oscorp is SOOOOO cool too!”.<br/><br/>
The other kids are already waiting at the busses for the trip, when Peter and Ned’s school bus pulls up. With a few quick steps they both leave one bus and enters the next.<br/><br/>
“Hey losers” MJ greets as they join her in the front of the bus, where it’s quiet enough for her to read.<br/><br/>
Peter gives her a careful smile “Hey MJ”. Ned gives Peter slight punch in the shoulder being like ‘just tell her already!’, so Peter takes a deep breath. “I was actually wondering it… uhm…” Peter’s voice is breaking before he knows it. “uhm… would you… maybe, you know… eh…”.<br/><br/>
“Sure” MJ replies, and light chuckles to her words and a friendly smile. “What about, tomorrow at seven? They just made a movie about my favorite murder!”.<br/><br/>
At Oscorp, everyone chatters as they go through security. While almost everyone get’s a guest badge, Peter carefully scans his normal one, hoping that nobody, and especially not Flash, see’s it. And lucky he seem to be that lucky, mostly. Because as it turns out, Harry of course knows about the tour.<br/><br/>
The second Peter is through the scanner Harry has his arms around Peter in a greeting and a wide smile on his lips. “Hey Pete”.<br/><br/>
“Hey Harry” Peter greets back. Ned who is right behind Peter in the scanner is staring in shock as Harry and Peter talks. It might have made sense if Harry went to the same school as Peter, but while Peter’s family had to keep low profile (if you can call it that with an AI, named Karen, build into their house), while Harry’s father, didn’t at all. Meaning that Harry, went to Horizon High, instead of midtown high.<br/><br/>
But Harry seems to be far better prepared for something like this than Peter. Because he just slips in front of Peter, stretch a hand out to need and greeting and says, “Nice to finally meet you, Ned. Peter has told me a lot about you”.<br/><br/>
“Your Harry Osborn” Ned says. Holding a little to tight around Harry’s hand and is staring at the fancy looking boy.<br/><br/>
Harry nods, “That would be correct”.<br/><br/>
It’s takes a few moments more, of what to Peter, feels like awkward silence before Ned finally snaps out of it, and starts rambling in his usual ‘this is really cool’ way.<br/><br/>
“Oh my god! I just meet Harry Osborn, the son of Norman Osborn, owner of Oscorp, and this is soooooo cool! Can you show me the building… wait, so. I’m here with school so that likely would be a good idea, and… oh my god. How do you two know each other?!”.<br/><br/>
Peter nods to Harry, giving him the ‘go for it, dude’ look and a smile filled to laughter.<br/><br/>
“Oh Peter and me?” Ned nods, “Peter’s parents, used to work closely with my father when Oscorp was first created. They still talk, so me and Peter meet each other once in a while for a fancy dinner and arcade games afterwards”.<br/><br/>
“Peter never told me that” Ned says, a disappointed look is sent in Peter’s direction. “Why didn’t you tell me that, Peter?”.<br/><br/>
Peter shrugs, “My parents work back then, were… less than legal”. It’s a lie, just like Harry’s. Planned for case like these. For the secrets, and for the moments where truth is an option.<br/><br/>
Harry joins them on the tour, Ned and Harry seems to be hitting it off from the beginning, but that could just as easily be Harry’s way of being friends with everyone that comes near him. Not that he’s really friends with them, he just, pretends. So that his father’s company looks better.<br/><br/>
They get to see the basic. New phones, computers. They get a short test of full body tracking Virtual reality and so on, so forth.<br/><br/>
They get to see a, to Peter, more interesting project where they are attempting to shrink animals. It’s an early prototype, but the idea is pretty cool. Imagine becoming small, and imagine what would happen if they did the opposite and grew bigger?<br/><br/>
There’s a project about prosthetics being controller by the brain, through a special type of cables that can connect to the nerves, through your spine.<br/><br/>
Classic projects that, anyone with a tech company as big as Oscorp would be playing around with. Just like Stark industries, having created a set of bionic legs braces, for people being paralyzed from the waist down.<br/><br/>
They are halfway through the tour when Peter starts to feel his breath grow weak and wheezy. And it becomes harder, and harder to breath, for every breath Peter tries to pull in.<br/><br/>
Harry and Ned are quick to realize when Peter loses speed, MJ is soon to follow. “Hey, Pete. Are you okay? You look pale” Harry asks, carefully placing a hand on Peter’s shoulder, supporting him and helping him keeping his balance.<br/><br/>
Peter takes a few deep breaths. “ I need my inhaler from my backpack” Peter rasp out.<br/><br/>
“But your backpack is together with ours, in security” Ned points out, “we can’t just go get it!”.<br/><br/>
Peter knows Ned is right, at least mostly. But Harry is fast to think of a plan. “That shouldn’t be a problem, keep in mind it’s my father building” Harry gives a tight smiles are he moves Peter’s arm, over and around his neck, making it easier to support Peter as they walk. “If you let a teach from your school know, me and Peter will caught up with you in like, half an hour”.<br/><br/>
So MJ and Ned’s move to the nearest teacher, while, Peter and Harry starts to move towards the front of the building.<br/><br/>
By the time they get the backpack, Peter’s legs feels like gummy. They end up on a bench out in front of the building, as Peter carefully get’s his breath back, and uses his inhaler to clear up the work in his lungs. Or at least, make it easier to breath.<br/><br/>
When they reenter the building, Peter is better. Not perfect, but better. He keeps his inhaler in his hoodie pocket like he should have done in the first place.<br/><br/>
“I’ll be right back, I need to use the bathroom” Peter says to Harry on their way back to Peter’s class.<br/><br/>
Harry sends a small nod to Peter, before walking towards the fish tank, that Peter’s friends are currently looking at. Something about, studying how fish breath under water, and trying to figure out how to make humans do something similar.<br/><br/>
Peter takes a turn to the right, knowing the part of the building well enough to find the bathrooms. At least so he thinks, but everything as Oscorp looks to same.<br/><br/>
Instead of finding a bathroom, Peter finds a glass cage filled with spider’s. They are sitting in their webs all over the place, not attacking each other, like they would in nature with so many in such a small space. There’s no information about the spider’s. But Peter can guess that it probably has to do with Project Oz.<br/><br/>
Peter watches the spider’s for a minute before continuing down the hall in his search for a bathroom.<br/><br/>
In the end, it turns out he should have gone left and no right. His washing his hands, in the bathroom sink, when he feels it. A burning feeling, right on his neck. Stinging with pain.<br/><br/>
By instinct Peter moves his hands to where the pain is coming from, and moves his t-shirt a little down, to find a big, ugly, spider with it’s teeth digging into Peter’s skin. Peter slaps it, and pushes it to the floor, before leaving the bathroom.<br/><br/>
He meets up with Harry and Ned, and of course rest of the class.<br/><br/>
Over the hour a headache grows in Peter’s head. Almost like his skull is being crushed from the inside. Like his brain is suddenly to big, for his own head.<br/><br/>
He faints in the front hall at the end of the tour.<br/><br/>
He wakes up, with his parents by his side, in a special shield medical facility.<br/><br/>
Parker luckTM strikes again.</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So... I bought VR. And I might, or might not, have been playing since Wednesday last week... ops :P I could have written 10 chapters in that time.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0026"><h2>26. Dust to dust, love to lose</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I think I might be back? That was shorter break than I had expected. Really, I don't know where the sudden energy comes from. Maybe the fact I get to nerd out with my VR. Maybe the fact, that my new contact and support person, is really nice and easy to talk to. Maybe it's just the creativity floating. Or maybe, it's the book I'm currently reading that makes me want to write me. No matter what, it's great.<br/>And if your looking for a good read, the book called "The Martian" is realllllllly good. There's a movie based on that book, that I plan to watch later on.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Tony get’s a call from Bruce, his sitting with Pepper and Happy in some conference room, talking with the leader of the Tokyo area of Start industries. And well, a call is, unexpected.<br/><br/>
Tony’s phone vibrates, and while Tony wants to pick it up right away, Pepper gives him a look that tells him, he shouldn’t. But when it call twice, and then a 3ed time as well, Tony doesn’t feel like he can let them go to voice mail once more. So he carefully turns the phone around on the table, to be greeted by Bruce’s name on the screen. Bruce is calling?<br/><br/>
Tony carefully lifts the phone, shows Pepper the phone screen, and she reluctantly gives him a nod. So Tony get to his feet and walks out into the hallway.<br/><br/>
“Make it quick Brucie” Tony starts out, quickly, “Pepper isn’t happy about me leaving the conference room, during a meeting”. But Tony only just get’s the words out when he hears shaky and fast breathing from the other side of the phone. “Bruce, what’s going on?” Tony turns serious.<br/><br/>
Tony can hear something move on the other end of the line, before Bruce finally speaks. “Do you have a computer nearby? A phone? Anything?”.<br/><br/>
Tony nods, for a seconds forgetting that Bruce can’t see him. “Yes, I do”.<br/><br/>
“Open the news. Any plat form” Bruce voice sounds almost angry now, “It’s important. And get Pepper. This is a mess”.<br/><br/>
Tony does as his told, and quickly finding what Bruce is talking about. All over the internet, there stories about how Tony Stark has a adopted the teenager boy Peter Parker from Queens. There’s a few who have actually photo’s of Peter, taken from behind a bush at Midtown high. There some who uses his school photo. There’s some who connected Peter Parker to the funeral Tony was spotted at. Information about his school, and where he used to live, has also gone public. It’s a mess and news, and even Tony haven’t tried anything like it before. Not even, when he closed down the weapon manufacturing after his time in captivity.<br/><br/>
What is even more of a mess, is the other news title that’s fighting with the first one. And while, most don’t know, Tony know, it’s about the same person. Somehow, the fact that Peter Parker, his kid, has been rapped, has gone public. Only, it’s not Peter’s name, it’s Spider-man.<br/><br/>
It doesn’t take long, to find the original source of the articles. And they, Tony notice, quotes, not some teacher or a kid who had figure it out… but Dr. Brown. Tony and Peter’s therapist. The woman, who Tony trusted no only with his own secrets, but also Peter’s. The friendly, kind woman who had helped both of them more than once. The person who knows who Spider-man is under the mask. And… with that Tony can’t help but be slightly happy that she didn’t let the information slip while she was anyway telling people about Peter.<br/><br/>
Tony takes a shaky breath, “I’m on my way home, Bruce”, he says before hanging up the phone and reentering the conference room, with Pepper and Happy.<br/><br/>
He makes a flick with his phone in front of the TV screen, allowing the articles to pop up. “We got a problem that’s bigger than a fire”, Tony says, Pepper and Happy both look at the screen with shocked eyes.<br/><br/>
“This just isn’t our day” Pepper mutters while Happy mumbles something in angry tone that Tony can’t make out.<br/><br/>
It doesn’t take long before all three of them are in the car, Happy behind the wheel, driving, well faster than legally allowed, towards the airport. This is one of those times where a private jet, is a good thing. It’s ready when they pull up, and they doesn’t have to go through security. It useful minutes. Because, Tony needed to be with his kid an hour ago.<br/><br/>
On the jet, Pepper and Happy sits down to start suing news companies to take articles down. In the meantime, Tony pulls up Peter’s vitals.<br/><br/>
He cab see in Cho’s note, that Peter has broken his arm. In not one, but two places. He can see that she reset it, and put it in a cast. She also notes that the story about how he broke it, seem rather… odd.<br/><br/>
It’s a relief to see that Peter current brainwaves, and pules, indicated that he’s asleep. His temperature it slightly elevated, but nothing out of the ordinary for the Spider-kid.<br/><br/>
It does make him slightly dizzy, and gives him a sour taste in the mouth, that Peter had finally request to use the sleeping pills that had been special made for him. They weren’t test, though Cho had reassure Tony many times that it was going to be completely safe, as long as Peter followed the instructions. Which Peter would, Tony knew that.<br/><br/>
Using the private jet, an upgraded Tony Stark private jet, it takes two hours before they land at the compounds special landing area. And Tony head straight towards Peter’s bedroom.<br/><br/>
Pepper and Happy continues their work in living room area, where they are joined by Bruce, and soon enough, rest of the Avengers who too has heard about both the articles.<br/><br/>
Tony carefully pushes the bedroom door open, the star light Peter and him installed sometime after Christmas is the only light sores at the moment. Peter is laying on the bed, a blanked draped over him, facing the wall opposite the door. The, mostly full, pill bottle is standing at the bedside table next to an empty glass of water. So Tony doesn’t bother trying to wake up the kid. Parts of Tony hopes, he can make the news mess go away, before Peter wakes up. Though, it likely wont be that easy.<br/><br/>
Peter’s phone is laying on the floor, right next to the bed. Probably having fallen down, after Peter fell asleep. Maybe watching a video about Star Wars. Because despite all the fancy tech, Tony noticed that Peter went back to basic, when he was upset.<br/><br/>
Tony silently picks up the phone and plugs it into the charger laying on the nightstand.<br/><br/>
Tony then moves to the side of the bed, that Peter is turned, and sits down on the floor, and places a hand on Peter’s should. Just to sense and feel the kid, in his sleepy state.<br/><br/>
But something in Tony’s stomach tells him that, something isn’t quite right. Peter’s hot, what while Tony where on the plane just seem to be slightly elevated, had turned into a full blow fever. Peter doesn’t look quiet as relaxed has he usually would, when sleeping. Almost like if he where in pain. And worst of all, Peter’s breath seems, almost… shallow. Weak.<br/><br/>
“Keep me updated on Peter’s statue” Tony whispers to Friday, who just hums in acknowledgment, to not wake the sleeping boy.<br/><br/>
Tony then carefully get back to his feet, swearing at his old back, and leaves the boys room. Closing the door, just as carefully as he had opened it. Before he joins the other’s in living room area, where they are working effectively, and discussion what to do next.<br/><br/>
“How’s Peter doing” Bruce asks as Tony sits down next to him with a deep sigh. Sinking into the sofa. It had been bad, and stressful when they only, had a SI fire to deal with. This was different, worse. It wasn’t supposed to happen like that. Peter wasn’t ready, Tony wasn’t ready. Sure it would have to happen later, rather than sooner.<br/><br/>
Tony meet’s Bruce’s eyes, “I think he’s caught a bug”. Bruce lifts an eyebrown, but before has can ask why Tony is talking about, Tony has pulled up the vitals on a holo-screen, that’s build into the floor. Bruce looks over them quickly, nodding to himself.<br/><br/>
“You probably right” he then says with a slight sigh, before starting to fidget with his hands.<br/><br/>
Tony turns his attention to Pepper and Happy who has finally closed down their tablet’s and computers. “So, what where we dealing with?” Tony asks. Not really wanting to hear the answer, that he already knows is going to be, well… to much.<br/><br/>
“Every news paper in new York, uncountable videos about it all over the internet” Happy shakes his head, “There’s no chance of making this disappear, Tony”.<br/><br/>
And that’s what Tony feared. Feared that Peter’s life, Peter’s already stressful life, was going to be pulled apart, because of Tony. Because of Tony’s trust to a therapist. Because of Tony’s lifestyle. Because of Tony’s parents life. Because of Iron man, that suit, that saved the kid in the first place. Because of his involvement of with the kid, when Spider-man first showed up in Queens. Because of Berlin, the fight a kid shouldn’t have been at. A conversation that turned into a fight. In a hope, to make rest of the Avengers change their mind, Tony had brought the kid. And he’d done it, just to fail even more than he would have, if he didn’t. Because… Tony left the kid on his own afterwards, no contact with anyone, not even Happy… and somehow now the kid was in problems, because of Tony again. Only this time, crashing a plane wouldn’t be enough. Wouldn’t save him, and wouldn’t stop this. Whatever this was.<br/><br/>
“There’s something you aren’t telling us” it’s the longest sentence Tony has ever heard Bucky say. Well, longest since he was the winter soldier. “It’s not a coincidence that Peter and Spider-man is all over the news at the same time”.<br/><br/>
Tony meets Bucky’s eyes, “Maybe your right. Maybe your not”.<br/><br/>
Natasha, Clint, Bruce, Bucky, Pepper, Happy, Wand, Sam, Steve and Vision all turns their attention towards Tony. Something Tony can’t read flashes over their faces, something with worry, angry, sadness, frustration, confusion, and then it’s gone. Like carried away with the wind as the room explodes in conversation.<br/><br/>
“You took a kid with you to Berlin?!”.<br/><br/>
“I hit him in the face!”.<br/><br/>
“Wait, wait, wait, wait. Peter Parker, the kid who drinks juice boxes and eat fruits for lunch, defeated not just me, but Bucky as well?”.<br/><br/>
“His like 12!”.<br/><br/>
“Who knew about? Did his parents know, where they okay with this?”.<br/><br/>
“Didn’t he crash your plane?”.<br/><br/>
“I knew that was Stark tech. That suit, with the eyes and… damn I should have known”.<br/><br/>
“How the hell did he get his powers Stark, you better-“.<br/><br/>
“I’m sorry to disturb you boss, but Peter’s oxygen level just dropped below safe levels”, Friday’s voice makes people silence for a short moment. You might be able to hear a pen drop to the floor. Hear as every Avenger’s heart, skips just a beat. As everything freezes, goes quiet, and just as fast things get chaotic.<br/><br/>
Bruce and Tony get’s up first, quickly followed by rest of the Avengers. Tony can hear the sound and quick, no running footsteps as their feet hits the floor of the compound, and as it echo’s through the halls. Bouncing of one wall, hitting another, and bouncing of that one as well.<br/><br/>
Can hear the quick breaths of every Avenger, as they push themselves to their limit, reaching the bedroom as fast as they possibly can. It’s almost gasps, even for the super soldiers.<br/><br/>
“Peter has gone in the respiratory failure” Friday’s voice only makes the Avengers run faster. Put’s more speed, more power, more strength into each step. More determination, more panic, more willingness.<br/><br/>
Bucky is the first at the door, followed by Steve and Bruce, with Tony in their tail.<br/><br/>
The door is pushed open easily, smacking against the wall inside the bedroom with a loud thud.<br/><br/>
Peter’s laying the same way he had when Tony had been there just a little earlier. Only this time, something is most differently wrong.<br/><br/>
Tony pushes past Bucky who’s in front of and falls to his knees next to the bed. Placing shaky finger’s on the kid’s pulse point, begging for it to be there. His skin is burning hot, wet, and sweaty. Clammy.<br/><br/>
Tony holds his breath, praying…<br/><br/>
… And there, weak, but there, is a pulse.<br/><br/>
Tony got no time to waste as he get’s up from the floor, Bruce joining him next to Peter, and Tony tries to lift the young spider boy. He knows Peter had been light ever since he was bitten by the radioactive spider, even more so after his time starving. And Tony knows, that when adrenalin kicks in humans can do impressive things. But Tony can’t get a good hold on Peter’s thin frame, that somehow seems even smaller than before Tony and Pepper had left to Tokyo just that morning. Tony can’t lift him.<br/><br/>
Steve and Bucky both move a little closer to the bed. Tony looks up and meet, not Steve’s eyes, but Bucky’s. Bucky’s eyes, that’s filled with worry and pain, and sadness and confusion. And Tony knowns why. Understand why. He saw it in the ice-skating rink in December. The care Bucky had for the kid. “Please help me” Tony’s voice sounds rusty, like he’s about to cry. And his is, that’s the truth, as his voice breaks during the last words.<br/><br/>
And suddenly Bucky’s there, carefully hands picking up Peter, trying not to touch the broken arm, and rushing towards the med bay with Bruce, Tony and Steve by his side.<br/><br/>
Helen Cho is already waiting, fear and panic clear in her eyes as well, as her and her team takes over.<br/><br/>
“Somebody get the crash cart”.<br/><br/>
“We need to intubate!”<br/><br/>
It’s chaotic.<br/><br/>
“BP dropping!”.<br/><br/>
“No puls…”<br/><br/>
“Charing in 3, 2, 1. Clear!”.<br/><br/>
All Tony can hear is noise. A painful loud noise. And the world is tipping. Falling apart. Ripped into piece like dust. Dust, dust, dust. Like sand, in the desert. All the dust covering Tony, his vision. Dancing in front of him like black spots, as his head collides with the floor of the med bay.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Someone's bound to think that chapter is bed. I know... it's far from perfect, I sat and wrote it. Read it out loud. It's not the best, but there's defiantly worse in Not By Blood, at this point in time.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0027"><h2>27. Note to self: Everything is going to be okay</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>"Knock knock. Is this thing on? Hello!? Can anybody here me? Who turned off the light's, it's so dark in here. Oh well... I guess I scared everyone away, huh? Chapter 24 and 25 barely got any attention... which, I mean. Is fair. I just, though maybe you guys would enjoy it a little more. Idk..."</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Overdose. Coma. Pills. Cardiac arrest. Respiratory arrest. Low oxygen levels. Low blood sugar. Muscle deterioration. Liver failure. And the list went on and on.<br/><br/>
Tony hadn’t really cared to read through everything, and Cho had yet to go over it all with him and Pepper. All Tony knew was, that a lot had happened over a few days, Skip, the Media, something with Ned and MJ, Tony and Pepper leaving for Tokyo. Peter had taken a pill, probably more than one because, the word overdose was literally the first word in the medical report, that Tony didn’t read.<br/><br/>
It was obvious, that this… this was Peter breaking. This, wasn’t just a teen being unlucky, your aren’t unlucky with meds. This was on purpose. This was real. This… this, was a suicide attempt. And Now, Peter was comatose.<br/><br/>
But would Peter do that? Or at the very least, would he do that at the compound where Friday was sure to tell on him? And if so, would he really do that without a note?<br/><br/>
Sitting in the med bay, watching people work, and watch Peter’s thin, pale body, Tony had written a million different notes inside his own head. Trying to figure out what Peter could have written. What could have pushed things to this. What could have happened that day, that no one knew about. Had some kid broken his arm? Was the why he was so secretive? And could that really lead Peter to a point, where death seemed easier than life?<br/><br/>
“He’ll be fine, Tony” Pepper joins him in the med bay a few hours later. “Peter is strong”.<br/><br/>
Tony just shakes his head, “If he where… then why are we here in the first place?”. Because that the question to ask. How did things get this far? “Did we fail him? Did we miss something? God, Pepper! This is why I didn’t want kids”.<br/><br/>
Pepper places a careful hand on Tony’s shoulder. It’s soft, and steady. Strong, and warm. Filled with care, and patience. Filled with calm, and it’s grounding. “We’re here, because his strong. Dr. Cho already told his, that he’s only alive because he wants to be. And we didn’t fail him, we didn’t miss anything. We did our best, and you…” Pepper sighs “should really read the medical report”.<br/><br/>
“I can’t” Tony replies, sinking a little deeper into the med bay plastic chair. It’s been months since he was last here, waiting for Peter to wake up. Back then he’d been beaten up by a small town villain calling herself black cat. Peter had gotten a hit in the head, not during the fight, but when he left after shield had picked up Black cat. “if I read that things, the worry will only grow worse” Tony points out.<br/><br/>
Pepper sighs “Cho says he’s stable”.<br/><br/>
Tony grasp a little harder around Peter’s hand. “He doesn’t look very stable with all these tubes and machines”. Because there’s a lot of them. I.V’s, heart monitor, oxygen reader, breathing tube. Tony don’t know what half of them do, or the names of even more of them. There’s barely a spot where something isn’t connected.<br/><br/>
“It’s only till he get his strength back” Pepper reminds Tony, like that’s going to help. “If things go as planned the breathing tube will be removed tomorrow”.<br/><br/>
“And then what when he doesn’t breathe on his as they remove it?” Tony asks. It’s one of these things his head can’t let go. All the what if’s. Pepper gives him a look that’s telling him not to worry. But Tony can’t just turn to worry off. “I got 99 problem, 86 of them are completely made up scenarios in my head that I’m stressing about for absolutely no logical reason”.<br/><br/>
Pepper smiles carefully at him, “I didn’t say you couldn’t worry, but you have to keep in mind that Peter will be okay”.<br/><br/>
“I’m Tony Stark, Pepper. I shouldn’t worry about some teen superhero” Tony says. “I didn’t for a long time. And when I finally did, only a year later his last living guardian dies”.<br/><br/>
Pepper chuckles slightly, Tony can’t see what’s so funny. “Tony, everyone can worry. If you don’t believe, I’d be more than happy to get the proof that Tony Stark, dose have a heart” she carefully places a small kiss on Tony’s cheek. “I’ll be heading to bed, I hope you’ll join me but it’s okay if you don’t. Remember, Friday can keep you updated on Peter, and Cho is here all night”.<br/><br/>
Tony carefully let’s go of Peter’s hand, whispers a ‘goodnight kid’ and walks with Pepper to the bedroom.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>“What do you mean we’ll have to move him? You said he was stable!” Tony’s mad. Alarm, after alarm had been activated through the night. Tony, only getting a few hours of sleep. And all of the alarm’s, where connected to Peter.<br/><br/>
When Pepper and Tony had walked together to the med bay the next morning, Bruce and Helen had both confronted them, told them what the plan would be and started getting ready.<br/><br/>
Turns out, Peter wasn’t as stable at the compound as they are originally though. And nobody really knew why that was.<br/><br/>
Helen had her theories of course. The med bay, being a place where they have to treat injuries had to be sterile. The meant a lot of rubbing alcohol, daily cleanings, and weirdly enough Ethyl Chloride better known as bug spray. To keep bugs from making the med bay filled with bacteria and virus, they had small bug spray pumps all over the place.<br/><br/>
While that usually, didn’t affect Peter at all, his weaken state would possibly take damage from the Ethyl Chloride. And therefor Helen and Cho wanted to move him.<br/><br/>
Really, they had wanted to move him even before he’d gotten worse. Helen could do a lot of things for someone in a coma, but Peter… Peter being an enhanced individually needed much more than Helen could give him. Of course Bruce was more trained in healing and medical stuff around enhanced people. Including those bitten by radioactive spiders. But even he had agreed.<br/><br/>
Peter’s fast metabolism where something they could, and before had, dealt with quiet well for a shorter period of time. And for a normal human, the daily moving of the body that the nurses would do, was enough to keep they muscles strong. But with Peter, it just wasn’t.<br/><br/>
At least, that was the guess. But Bruce didn’t want to take any chance and therefor choose to compare him directly to Steve and Bucky who had similar properties to Peter.<br/><br/>
That mean, that Bruce wanted to move Peter to a shield base, where Bruce had special design equipment, that not only would be able to help a person with enhance abilities, but also speed up the healing process with around 40%.<br/><br/>
“Tony, I know your not a fan of shield finding out who’s under the mask of Spider-man, but without the equipment, there’s a good chance Peter won’t make a full recovery. Even with his enhanced healing”.<br/><br/>
“You want to put him in a glass tube!”.<br/><br/>
“To help him, Tony. To help him. The glass tube as you call it, is really a Cryo Chamber created to help healing. This one is filled with a special liquid that for one, can protect him from muscle deterioration. And secondly, keep him alive for hours even if his heart of lungs gives out. Trust me Tony, this is the best course of action!”.<br/><br/>
“And then what when he wakes up inside a glass tube, a tube down his throat, floating in a thick liquid!?”.<br/><br/>
“I promise you, Tony. He won’t. We can inject medication directly into the liquid, allowing it to enter his body all on it’s own. The second he starts to wake a special drug will be added to the water, so we can safely remove him again. He won’t remember a thing of being inside the tube”.<br/><br/>
“Sure, that all sound good. But isn’t it also a lot like a Cryostasis Chamber?”.<br/><br/>
“Tony, we aren’t going to freeze Peter down. This is for medical reason, not ‘let’s created the winter spider’ reasons. Everything will be okay”.<br/><br/>
And so Peter had been loaded up onto a shield jet an hour later, and transported to one of their new York shield facilities. Including, Dr. Cho and Dr. Banner, to make sure Peter got the best possible care he could. Even if Tony still didn’t like the idea.<br/><br/>
The worse part, probably where the fact that Tony couldn’t be there. Or well, he could… just not during the process of placing Peter in the tube. Afterwards, Tony, Pepper and even Peter friends where allowed to come and go as wanted, more or less, anyways.<br/><br/>
Tony didn’t like the idea of seeing Peter in a glass tube. Didn’t like it at all.<br/><br/>
Tony had seen the crates that had held multiple other winter soldiers, who had never gotten to wake up again. People who had been frozen for a long, long time.<br/><br/>
When thinking of Peter inside one of those tubes… that was scary. So, so, scary.<br/><br/>
Because the picture that came to mind, where the dead soldiers in Siberia. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Placing someone in a Cryo Chamber, was… normally easy. Bruce knew that, having placed both Steve and Bucky in the tube for healing a few times. And had even been put in it himself, to keep the hulk from going crazy.<br/><br/>
But people who where placed in it, where usually awake and alert. Able to carry their own weight, or at least some of it, as they where placed in, and strapped down.<br/><br/>
With Peter it was different. Peter was dead to the world, pale, cold and limb.<br/><br/>
Sure, placing him wouldn’t be too difficult… but they didn’t actually have a drug to keep him calm inside of it, should he wake up.<br/><br/>
The drug from the sleeping pills, had cause this in the first place. And normal medicine, hell, even super soldier medicine just weren’t strong enough. So when Peter woke, they couldn’t do anything about, out than hope he wouldn’t panic too much.<br/><br/>
That wouldn’t have been a problem if he where awake when he was placed, since that would mean Peter knew where he was. But Peter didn’t.<br/><br/>
In case an emergency should happen, in case Peter woke up in a panic, their last choice where to do what Bruce had promised Tony would happen. Freeze him. Tony where right, it was a Cryostasis Chamber. But what other choice did Bruce and Helen have? Let the kid die, after their dosage, and medicine had failed and caused this in the first place?<br/><br/>
Not that Tony knew about that. He hadn’t read more than a few lines of the report. And Tony… Tony had concluded that it was a suicide attempt. If just it where, thing might be easier.<br/><br/>
No, this. This was all on Bruce.<br/><br/>
As they place Peter’s body in the glass tube, as they connected heart monitors, breathing mask (tube really, because Peter still wasn’t breathing well enough on his own), and pured in the light blue liquid.<br/><br/>
That was all on Bruce and Helen.<br/><br/>
Always would be.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Going to the shield base, seeing Peter no longer in a hospital bed, but a tube of water. That was scary, even to Pepper. And Pepper had seen a lot of things in her life time.<br/><br/>
Everything from the great Tony Stark having panic attacks, Happy Hogan in a coma, Avengers, superhero’s, aliens. There really wasn’t a thing Pepper hadn’t seen. Yet seeing Peter like this, that was differently nightmare material. As Tony would have called it if he was there.<br/><br/>
But he wasn’t.<br/><br/>
Pepper had made it very clear to Tony, that he had to stay home. Sleep and take a breath. She would deal with Stark industries fire problem, she would deal with the media finding out about Peter, she would deal with shield.<br/><br/>
Happy had wanted to join her when she told him where she was going. But Pepper had refused. She was a strong, independent woman. And honestly, she knew Happy would be just as big of a mess and Tony. Happy had dated May for a while before her death. Happy had promised, that he would protect and take care of Peter should anything happen.<br/><br/>
That Tony and Pepper had taken the guardianship role had been fine by him, he still got to see Peter, take him for dinner and just talk to him in their day to day life.<br/><br/>
But Happy… Happy had failed just as much as everybody else when it came to Peter’s current situation.<br/><br/>
Someone should have stayed home at the compound, where that be Tony or Happy, Pepper wasn’t sure. But she shouldn’t have taken them both to Tokyo. Shouldn’t have even though about it.<br/><br/>
But it was routine. When something happened, she was always joined by the two men. And she had though of Peter, made sure that Steve and Bucky could make breakfast for him, made sure a driver where informed of where to take Peter when.<br/><br/>
It had seemed like a solid, and doable thing. The kid was 16! Why wouldn’t it be possible?<br/><br/>
But, she had failed… and she knew that.<br/><br/>
Happy had failed, and he knew that.<br/><br/>
Tony had failed… and he blame himself for everything that had happened since that night, in December…<br/><br/>
No!<br/><br/>
NO, no, no.<br/><br/>
Everything would be okay.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Yes, this is the kind of thing I'm doing. Why? Idk?...</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0028"><h2>28. I feel like I am diagonally parked in a parallel universe</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry... the Chapter isn't as long as I would have liked...</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Somebody… Crash card…”<br/><br/>
“… need to intubate!”<br/><br/>
“BP dropping…”<br/><br/>
“… pulse…”<br/><br/>
“Charing in… Clear!”.</p><p>***</p><p>"…fail him? …miss something? …This is why I didn’t want kids…”<br/><br/>
“…he’s stable”<br/><br/>
“…when he doesn’t breathe on his own as they remove it?”<br/><br/>
“I got 99 problem, 86 of them are completely made up scenarios in my head…”</p><p>***</p><p>“You want… in a glass tu-“<br/><br/>
“… we aren’t going to freeze Peter… ‘let’s created the winter spider’…”<br/><br/>
“…Cryostasis Chamber…”</p><p>***</p><p>“Hello Peter. Bruce and Helen says you might be able to hear us. If you can, know that we’re waiting, and hoping for the best. Tony and Happy are both all over the place, they don’t know what to do with themselves. But, no matter what, they’ll be here for you when you wake up. You know that right?<br/><br/>
Tony told me about how you called him Dad once, as a joke. The first time you two talked about therapy. Back before May died.<br/><br/>
I know I’ll never be mom to you, I’m just Pepper. But I still care about you, and hope that you’ll wake up. If not for me, then at least for Tony. It’s a lot to ask, and I know that. I know your fighting with all your power to just stay alive. But Tony can’t lose anymore.<br/><br/>
He can’t lose you.<br/><br/>
None of us can”.</p><p>***</p><p>
  <em>“I know you miss him” Pepper says while their’ cleaning dishes at the lake house. “We all do. Me, Happy, Morgan. All of us. And it’s okay if you do too”.<br/><br/>
Peter shrugs, “I… I don’t know…”. The soapy water is seeping into to Peter’s fingers, making them wet and weird feeling. “He wasn’t really my father, but…”.<br/><br/>
“He where still a father figure for you” Pepper guess, drying off another plate before putting it into the kitchen cabinet. “It’s okay to miss him, you lost him too. You lost a lot. May, Ned, MJ… Tony… they all dusted. I only have to miss Tony”.<br/><br/>
Peter’s hands are shaking as he picks up the next plate, “You should have been there, on titan”.<br/><br/>
Pepper shakes her head, “I think it was perfect that is was you. You needed the chance to say goodbye way more, than everyone else did”.<br/><br/>
“He was your husband!” Peter snapes, “I’m just some random kid from Queens who where bitten by a radioactive spider in a lab! I shouldn’t have been there, you should”. The plate Peter is holding slips between his wet fingers. Before Peter can anything about it, it’s dropping towards the floor. Breaking into a million piece, flying all over the kitchen.<br/><br/>
Like Tony had done on Titan. Like Tony had broken apart and flown out all over titan. And Peter couldn’t stop it. Like he could stop Ben from getting shot. Like he couldn’t stop the plane crash.<br/><br/>
Peter had failed.<br/><br/>
Peter quickly moves to the floor to pick up the broken plate, but Pepper is fast. Her hands more sturdy than Peter’s. She carefully moves the broken plate out of Peter’s view.<br/><br/>
Just like Tony had been taken away from him, by the wind. That damn wind.</em>
</p><p>***</p><p>“I don’t know what’s going on inside your head right now. I wish I did, so I could help you. Your heart’s beating fast. Faster than normal, even for you.<br/><br/>
Bruce think it’s a reaction to what we’re saying. I’d like to confirm it.<br/><br/>
Bruce trying to figure out a way, of reading your brain waves. Maybe they can tell us a little bit about your mental state.</p><p>***</p><p>
  <em>“Peter, you have to breath” Pepper is sitting on the kitchen floor right in front of Peter, careful hands are holding Peter’s own hands down, preventing him from pulling his hair. He does that a lot, when he freaks out. He’s getting bolt spots. Both Bruce and Helen says it isn’t healthy, and that they need to prevent him from hurting himself.<br/><br/>
Peter doesn’t want to hurt himself, things have just been hard.<br/><br/>
He was stuck in space, for 22 days. Sure he wouldn’t get back to earth alive. Sure, that he would die in space.<br/><br/>
First he was sure it was going to be on Titan. The ship was complicated, hard to do anything about. And, Peter where alone. Everyone that had been with him was dusted. Fallen into ashes.<br/><br/>
When he did fix the ship, he knew it would only last so long. There was power enough to travel for 5 days, after that, he would just drift around in space. Peter didn’t even know what way to go, what way would lead him to earth.<br/><br/>
“In and out, Peter. Your home. Your safe now”.<br/><br/>
When he did get home, thanks to Captain Marvel, Thanos was dead. The stone’s, their only chance to bring everyone back, was destroyed. And there was nothing Peter could do about it.<br/><br/>
Then he heard about May, and Ned… and MJ. Even Flash and Liz.<br/><br/>
And it wasn’t fair, because, Peter lost everyone. Every person that meant something to him, every person that gave him hope, and strength. All gone, with the wind. Most hadn’t even been buried. You needed a body for that, but the dust had been blown away.<br/><br/>
“Peter, look at me. Please. It’s going to be okay, we’ll figure it out” Pepper’s voice is kind and friendly. Filled with sadness and worry, and calmness.<br/><br/>
Peter takes a deep breath, all the way down into his lungs. “Sorry”.<br/><br/>
“None of that. Your still under Tony’s roof, you got NOTHING to be sorry for” Pepper rest a hand on Peter’s right shoulder. Finally letting go of Peter’s wrist.<br/><br/>
“I failed him” Peter whispers, “I failed everyone”.<br/><br/>
Pepper shakes her head, “You sound so much like him, you know” there’s something in Pepper tone Peter can really figure out what is, “And I’ll tell you what I would have told him had things gone differently. This isn’t on you”.</em>
</p><p>***</p><p>“Tony think’s this is on him. That he failed you. And no matter what I tell him, he won’t think differently. Tony thinks you did this to yourself. Choosing to overdose. Wanting to die.<br/><br/>
I know you didn’t. Helen know you didn’t. Bruce know you didn’t.<br/><br/>
I hope I can get Tony to read the medical report. There’s important stuff in it, but, you and me both know Tony. Meetings and report isn’t really his thing. And when it’s a medical report about you, well… it might give Tony nightmare’s and grey hairs.<br/><br/>
So I wont push. I know you wouldn’t have if I where in your shoes, and you in mine.<br/><br/>
So I don’t”.</p><p>***</p><p>
  <em>“Morgan’s asleep now, though a little disappointed her big brother didn’t come say goodnight” Pepper says and she enters Peter’s bedroom. “Though I get it. It’s okay”.<br/><br/>
“Thanks for everything Pepper” Peter says. It’s a low whisper.<br/><br/>
Pepper shakes her head, “It’s really no problem at all. It’s the least I could do after everything with May. And you where like a son to Tony, so you’re like a son to me as well”. Pepper sits down on the edge of Peter’s bed, where he’s already under the covers.<br/><br/>
“Those titles… son, big brother…” Peter’s voice are shaky, “I don’t deserve them”.<br/><br/>
Pepper chuckles lightly, “You might be deserving of those title’s by blood. But you are Tony’s kid, my kid, Morgan’s brother. Maybe Not By Blood…” Pepper sighs, “But by heart, you will always be”.<br/><br/>
“Thank you, Pepper” Peter sits up slightly, giving Pepper and awkward hug.<br/><br/>
Pepper shakes her head once more, “Anything for my kid”.</em>
</p><p>***</p><p>“Do you remember Christmas? That’s a stupid question, of course you remember Christmas. I can certainly say I do. I had butterflies in my stomach when we handed you that paper. Waiting to see how you would react to the idea of adoption.<br/><br/>
Tony had been a mess every since calling the lawyer to get the paper’s. Would cry and night, scared that would weren’t ready for that step.<br/><br/>
And then at the couch that night, both of you cried. Pen’s in hand, and a new name on the line on the last page. And you hugged so tight that I became almost scared, your super strength would crack Tony’s ribs.<br/><br/>
I know you wouldn’t do that on purpose though. So you can relax.</p><p>***</p><p>
  <em>“Morning Peter” Pepper calls from the kitchen when Peter wakes up the next day. Morgan is already out of bed, and likely have been for hours. Peter had been awake for a least two, having had a nightmare. But didn’t dare to close his eye’s again.<br/><br/>
Where the hell did dying by snapping his fingers come from? Tony had dusted, not even been close to the gauntlet…<br/><br/>
“Morning Pepper, Morgan” Peter tries to smiles as he sits down at the table in the kitchen.<br/><br/>
Morgan runs over to him in flying speed, “Guess what…” and she starts talking about some new movie. Peter doesn’t really listen.<br/><br/>
He miss May.<br/><br/>
The new title as a Stark is weird.<br/><br/>
But it’s okay.<br/><br/>
Even if it’s Not By Blood.</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I think I caught a bug. It wouldn't surprise me, I did walk home two day's in a row this week, getting soaking wet to the skin. Slight headache, light and noise sensitive... feeling kinda sluggish. Might just be early sighs of stress.<br/>I would have written a longer chapter, if I didn't feel off... sorry...</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0029"><h2>29. “I'm in love with Spider-Man's aunt!” - Happy Hogan</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So, the main character of the book I was reading, The martian, survived! Which is great. Andy Weir is like, my new favorit sci-fi writer, and that's a big role to take. Since I mean, I have been reading books since, before I could walk. (Actually that's a lie, I first learned how to read in 3ed grade. Pretty far behind. And my spelling... damn... I'll never fix that completely). But, so. Need a good read? The Martian! Personally I'm looking into where I can buy Artemis, his seconds book, in english. And hopefully his 3ed book about space, that is in preorder right now, will be available in the EU in not too long.<br/>Why did I talk about this? I don't honestly got a clue, but now you got it. Behind the scene of my life.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Hey Pete. Can I call you that? Pete? May told me her and Ben always called you that when you where sick. But, it might be stepping over the edge if I do so? I don’t want to break anything.<br/>
<br/>
You know that, right?<br/>
<br/>
Honestly, when I started dating May, I was scared you’d find it really weird. Not because of the, I’m Tony Stark, your father figure’s, bodyguard. But because of the whole, Uncle Ben being dead, thing. I mean, it must have been weird, seeing May with someone else.<br/>
<br/>
But, I need you to know, that I respect that Ben will always be May’s love, and your uncle.<br/>
<br/>
I weren’t there to replace him”.</p><p>***</p><p>
  <em>“When I blipped back to my apartment, the family that was living there was very confused. The wife though I was a mistress” May says as publicum starts laughing. “Grandma though that, I was a ghost. It…” May laughs herself, “It was a mess. Thank you all for coming out to support those, who have been displaced by the blip. And of course, thanks to our very own, Spider-man!”.<br/>
<br/>
Peter winks out to people as they clap, and May takes a step away from the microphone on stage. Giving Peter a nod to, stand out and say something.<br/>
<br/>
Peter clears his throat, “Thank you Mrs. Parker for having me” Peter voice becomes light and scared as he speaks. “And thank you, you guys, for having me” he says as he gives them a thumbs up.<br/>
<br/>
Peter steps away from the microphone, and May is quickly back in her spot. “And thank you Spider-man” May says a smile on her lips, “And he’ll be right back out, to take photos and videos. Thank you!”. May steps off stage.<br/>
<br/>
Peter follows, jumping halfway in front of May. When the backcloth is pulled out to block people view, the iron spider nano bot technology pulls off the helmet that’s securely placed over Peter’s head. Peter never got to tell Tony, but that was much easier than sticking to the inside of the old mask, preventing it from being pulled off. Because, yes, he did that.<br/>
<br/>
“That was amazing!” Peter says, voice less nervous now as it high fives May.<br/>
<br/>
May smiles, “That was greaaaat!”.<br/>
<br/>
“Oh that was so cool” Peter keeps going, “I was so nervous” May is chuckling lightly as they pace back and forth in the backroom.<br/>
<br/>
“My body was a little stiff, I felt like I wasn’t in the pocket” May says, shaking her hand lightly making eyes contact with Peter.<br/>
<br/>
Peter shakes his head, “No I though you did great!”.<br/>
<br/>
May takes a breath, “Yeah, well. Actually, I did think you were a little stiff”.<br/>
<br/>
“I felt that, I felt that too” Peter says folding his arms around his front, trying to hide away that he was about to die while speaking on stage. What if someone had realized who he was by his voice? No one could know if someone like, Flash was sitting out there, just waiting for Spider-man’s identity to be revealed.<br/>
<br/>
May smiles, “It’s fine, it’s fine, it’s fine” she keeps repeating. “Did you get your passport?” Peter confirms, “Mini toothpaste?” Peter nods the same second someone is about to enter. The iron spider helmet pulls on.<br/>
<br/>
“Hey! Sorry I’m late” Happy says walking in with a big check. The mask pulls off again, seeing as Happy already knows his under the mask. Peter greats Happy with a smile. But Happy looks at May, “Oh you look lovely”.<br/>
<br/>
May smiles at Happy, “Thanks you too”.<br/>
<br/>
“New dress?” Happy questions. It’s long, mostly black but with a bit of color at the top.<br/>
<br/>
May quickly confirms it, “That’s a new beard?!” she then asks in return. And, true to May’s word Happy dose have a beard now. And even though, Peter already knew that, it still looks weird on him. Like it shouldn’t really be there. But he doesn’t say that out loud.<br/>
<br/>
“It’s my blip beard, because I grew it in the blip” Happy says. “Blip beard”. May laughs a little at Happy’s wording. “Anyways. The reason I’m late is because, this was misplaced. Can you believe it? Because it’s enormous. Not the amount, the size. The amount and the size. The very generous Pepper Potts said, she’s sorry she couldn’t be here”.<br/>
<br/>
May takes the check, “I think I’m going to chance the sterno under the vegan lasagna” May start’s the walk away, “Spider-man! Go shake hands”.<br/>
<br/>
As May leaves, Peter turns around and gives Happy a weird look, “What just happened?”.</em>
</p><p>***</p><p>“May said that she never though about dating, after Ben died. Not once. Which is impressive. She could have gotten anyone, because. May… May was amazing. She was good, and caring, and great. She was a nurse, and he was a cop. Really, it shouldn’t surprise me that you would become Spider-man.<br/>
<br/>
And then, hearing that your parents worked for shield? I mean, what even is your life?<br/>
<br/>
May never told me. I don’t think she ever would have. Their dead and gone. And I’d never meet them away. So it probably wasn’t important for me to know.<br/>
<br/>
But, it explains a lot of things, Pete. A lot about you, being Spider-man and all. But also, a lot about May. He strength and her way of acting. Like, she knew, that you could become a target because of your parents work, you still could. But she, May, she was ready to do whatever it took to keep you safe.<br/>
<br/>
Even if that involved Tony Stark. And yes, she did tell me. ‘Not a fan of that Tony Stark’, and it’s just, then why let Peter go to Berlin with him?!<br/>
<br/>
Are you sure she didn’t know about Spider-man?”.</p><p>***</p><p>
  <em>Peter’s classmates and teacher are watching the news, looking at articles on the internet and talking about the attack earlier in the day. In the meantime Peter is talking to May over a phone in the same room. It’s old, probably haven’t been used in ages. But Peter’s smartphone is wet, and maybe, broken too.<br/>
<br/>
“No, no, no, no! We want to stay” Peter confirms to May, after she’d asked about a millions questions about what happened. And ‘are you sure you want to stay’ for the 10th time in the matter of minutes.<br/>
<br/>
“It’s a good thing I packed your suit, huh?” May asks over the phone. But it isn’t really a question, it’s a ‘I knew it’. And she sure did. May and her ‘I got a tingle about it’ thing. Damn tingle. “I can’t believe you forgot it. So who was that guy you where with, was that mister strange?” Because of course Peter had told her about Doctor Stephen Strange. Doctor Strange for short. The wizard. Honestly, when Peter had told May Stephen’s first and last name, she had laughed her gut out. She had worked, at the same hospital as him. And damn… damn that was just, weird. Stop it, May, please.<br/>
<br/>
Peter sighs “Doctor Strange, May, Doctor Strange” Peter corrects. Even though he knows May is just joking around with him. “And no, I don’t know who that was. It was a, new guy. I was trying to help him-“ His cut off.<br/>
<br/>
“Hey Happy… no that’s my lunch. Don’t eat that one” May says.<br/>
<br/>
Peter doesn’t get it, doesn’t understand it at all. “Happy’s there?” he questions. Because why would Happy be there?<br/>
<br/>
“Yeah, it’s Happy” May confirms “He came by to…” Break, “… Volunteer. And he’s hanging around the office, and… he wants to say hi”. Peter can hear May move around over the phone.<br/>
<br/>
“H-hi Peter” Happy greets.<br/>
<br/>
Peter has that same confused look at his face, as the night at the charity event. “Hey Happy?”.<br/>
<br/>
“I’m sorry, I’m working real hard here. I got to do a…” Break again, “Leaflet drop. I’m glad you having a good time. Don’t worry I’m taking care of your aunt”. May returns to the phone. Peter’s left with a feeling of ‘what just happened?’.</em>
</p><p>***</p><p>“Peter. Pete. I promised May, that I’d keep you safe. I promised her that, and I don’t know if I did a good enough job at that. Between Skip, and the bullying, and your Spider-man thing. I don’t know if I’d ever be able to do good enough.<br/>
<br/>
And now, I… I failed her, and you and. And Peter, it’s okay. Is that understood?<br/>
<br/>
It’s alright if you can’t take anymore, if you don’t want to live anymore. You don’t have to keep fighting. We’ll figure everything with Spider-man out, and we’ll do what feel’s right.<br/>
<br/>
It’s okay, if you want to go… well to wherever you go when you die.<br/>
<br/>
If you want to go home to May.<br/>
<br/>
Just, say hello to her from me, and let her know that I’m sorry, for everything. For this. And that I love her, and won’t forget about her”.</p><p>***</p><p><em>It’s a mess. One, big, giant mess. With Peter in the middle of it.<br/>
<br/>
The elementals are a lie, fake. A story created by Beck to get the Edith glasses from Peter. Because, in reality, Mysterio, is the villain. He was the villain all along. So Peter, being the responsible teen he is, went to warn Fury. But it was an illusion… MJ fell, and Tony’s dead. And he was struck by a train… and…<br/>
<br/>
And now he’s here. In the Netherlands! The freaking Netherlands!<br/>
<br/>
Waiting in a tulip field, waiting for Happy to show up. Unless all this is an illusion too. It wouldn’t surprise Peter if it were. There where no way of confirming or denying though.<br/>
<br/>
Not until Happy would show up.<br/>
<br/>
Lucky for Peter, Happy isn’t too long about getting there. He shows up in the quin jet, which is usually only used for Avengers missions. But Peter had been a mess, almost crying over the phone, just being happy to hear a friendly voice. And in the background, he’d been happy to hear May talk.<br/>
<br/>
Peter starts limping down the field, as the jet lands. The wind from it, makes it hard for him to keep his balance. The tulips are dancing around, pushed to the side by wind and power.<br/>
<br/>
He slows down as the ships opens up, to reveal a worried looking Happy. “Peter? Are you okay?”. And damn, Happy. Are you stupid? Because does Peter look okay? Limping, having blood on his face, wearing an old, orange t-shirt that Peter doesn’t know who own’s?<br/>
<br/>
Peter doesn’t answer, “Happy is that you?” and damn… are you stupid? It shouldn’t be needed to ask then questions. These a question that shouldn’t exist. Yet here they are. Spoken out loud.<br/>
<br/>
“Is it me?” Happy asks, “Yeah, of course it’s me!” Happy says, making his way towards Peter. But before he can get close Peter lips his hand out in front of him.<br/>
<br/>
“STOP!”. They both stop, in the middle of the tulip field. “Tell me something, only you would know”.<br/>
<br/>
Happy looks confused, all over the place. “Only I would know?”, it takes a minute. “Remember we went to Germany?” What kind of question is that? Whole the fight against the roughs where public information. People knew Spider-man where there as well. “You pay-per-viewed a video in your room? They didn't list the titles but I could tell by the price that it was an adult film at the front desk, and you didn't know how I knew-“.<br/>
<br/>
“Ok, ok… Stop” Peter stops Happy before he can continue what is totally a story, to NEVER be told.<br/>
<br/>
God, if May knew…<br/>
<br/>
Peter limps all the way to Happy, before Happy even has a chance to do anything himself. And Peter pulls Happy into a hug. Happy returns it. Holding Peter tight. “Peter. You got to tell me what the hell is going on here…”.<br/>
<br/>
Happy helps Peter onto the jet, careful steps up the stairs, and helps him pull of the way to big t-shirt as well. Happy then starts walking around the jet, looking for a med kit, before sitting down with Peter, starting to sew up the worst cuts.<br/>
<br/>
Happy mumbles to himself lightly while working. They almost done, when Peter finally reacts with an ouch. But it’s more of a reaction than Peter have given to anything for over half an hour.<br/>
<br/>
“I though you had super strength” Happy points out, as Peter bits his lip in pain.<br/>
<br/>
Peter plays with a glass of water, that Happy has placed on the table as well. “It still hurts” Peter reminds him. Happy counties to stich. Peter sighs, “Happy”.<br/>
<br/>
“Come on, relax” Happy tells Peter. Voice careful. “Just a few more, there we…”.<br/>
<br/>
Peter hits his hand into the table, “Oh my god!”.<br/>
<br/>
“Relax!” Happy reminds again. But before be can do anything Peter is out of his seat.<br/>
<br/>
“Don’t tell me to relax! Happy. How can I relax when I messed up so bad?!” Peter shouts, “I trusted Beck. Right? I though he was my friend, so I gave him the only thing that Mr. Stark left behind for me. And now, he’s gonna kill my friends, and half of Europe. So please. Do NOT tell me to relax”. Peter sits down in one of the other chairs. Out of Happy’s reach. Head in hands. “I’m sorry Happy. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t shout”, Peter takes a few deep, shaky breaths. “I just really miss him” he whispers.<br/>
<br/>
“Yeah, I miss him too” Happy replies. And somehow, that’s calming to Peter. Knowing he’s not alone about missing Tony.<br/>
<br/>
“Everywhere I go, I see his face. And… the whole world is asking who’s going to be the next Iron man. And I’m… I don’t know if that’s me, Happy. I’m not Iron man” Peter sniffles.<br/>
<br/>
“Your not Iron man” Happy agrees. Which totally isn’t the start of the motivational speech Peter had hoped for. It’s the opposite. “Your never gonna be Iron man” Happy counties. “Nobody could live up to Tony, not even Tony. Tony was my best friend, and he was a mess. He second-guessed everything he did, he was all over the place. The one thing he did, that he didn’t second-guess was picking you” Happy says. Choosing his words carefully. “I don’t think Tony would have done, what he did, if he didn't know you were gonna be here after he was gone. And your friends are in trouble, and your all alone. Your tech is missing. What are you going to do about it?”.<br/>
<br/>
Peter takes a deep breath, get’s up. “I’m gonna kick his ass”.<br/>
<br/>
“I mean, I mean right now. Specifically what are we’re gonna do? Because, we’ve been hovering over a tulip field for the last 30 minutes” Happy points out.</em> </p><p>***</p><p>“Peter, I promise. It’s okay. It will be okay. We’ll be okay. Alright?<br/>
<br/>
Tony might blame himself, I will too. Pepper will, the Avengers will. But long term, it will be okay.<br/>
<br/>
Just know that… Tony is my best friend, and he is a mess right now. Waiting for Pepper to let him in here, to see you. He second-guesses everything he did, everything the brough us to this point. He is all over the place. The one thing he did, that he don’t second-guess was picking you. Pete.<br/>
<br/>
Your special”.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Yeah, I took it there.<br/>I usually don't cry, but when Happy tells Peter that's it's okay if he can't keep fighting. That it's okay to let go... I mean, I wrote it... but still... damn, I'm emotional right now. And even movie's can't do that for me... so... damn... damn... damn!<br/>What did you think? Is it, too far out of character? I'm scared it might be.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0030"><h2>30. “I’m in love with Peter’s aunt!” - Forehead of Security</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So, chapter 30? That's a big number. I didn't honestly think we'd get this far. When I started out this project, it was supposed to be a short 10 chapter story where May died. And now it's a long fic. Well, not just one honestly. I hinted at it before, but now I'm making it official. There will be, not 1, not 2. But 3 extra parts as a minimum, after Not by Blood!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>“When I snapped back…” May takes a deep shaky breath. Her hands are fidgeting as she stands on stage, Peter just a step behind her wearing the Iron Spider suit, but without the mask. Which, he doesn’t actually understand? Weren’t he just here, hours ago? May doing amazing on stage, and people, not knowing about his secret identity?<br/><br/>
Or is he mistaken? Was that all just, some weird, fever dream? He does feel weak, weird. Headache. But is that enough to created something, that seems so real he’s willing to question reality?<br/><br/>
“… to, to… my apar…” Peter places a careful hand on May’s shoulder. He isn’t sure how he suddenly ended up by her side, it doesn’t really make any sense to him. He didn’t tell his feet to start walking, they just did it on their own.<br/><br/>
May meets his eyes, with pleading. Peter gives a quiet nod, as May takes a step back, and Peter takes the mic. “When my aunt May” Why he tell the world that? “snapped back to her apartment, our apartment, the family that was living there was… confused to say it lightly. The husband though she was the slut he called…” Publicum is laughing loudly, “Their son, though that May was a zombie” Peter shakes his head, smiling at the memory. The, memory that, he doesn’t have. Which, why doesn’t he have that memory? It clearly should be there, but it isn’t.<br/><br/>
“Thank you all for coming out to donate for those, who where left homeless by the snap. And of course thank our very own Feast leader, my aunt, for getting this event on it’s feet and allowing me to join in. It’s been a pleasure, and I’ll be back out to answer question, take pictures and so on in a minute!”.<br/><br/>
May is first off stage, hands in her hair, as she tries to get air into her lungs. Peter leaves stage with a light skip to his movement. Letting the Iron Spider arms pull the cloth back so people can’t see in to the back room.<br/><br/>
“That was amazing” Peter shouts, because it was. It isn’t supposed to be, though. He’s supposed to be scared of the secret identity, isn’t he?<br/><br/>
May nods, her breathing much better now. “That was greaaaat!”.<br/><br/>
“Oh that was so cool” Peter keeps going “I was so nervous”. May is chuckling lightly at Peter’s happiness as they pace back and forth in the back room. But May suddenly stops, takes a deep breath and meet’s Peter’s eyes.<br/><br/>
“My body was a little stiff, I felt like I wasn’t in the pocked” May says, a shaky breath leaves her nose.<br/><br/>
Peter shakes his head, “N-no… I though… though you did great” It’s a lie. She didn’t.<br/><br/>
“Yeah, well. Actually I did think you where a little stiff” May then says. Something that looks like hate and madness in her eyes. Which, that isn’t the May Peter knows, is it? It doesn’t seem like the May that died last December…<br/><br/>
… wait, died? Then how is she here?<br/><br/>
“I… I didn’t feel that at all” Peter defends himself. Peter did great on stage, which is a surprise.<br/><br/>
May shakes her head in disappointment, then sighs. “Did you get your passport?” Peter nods in confirmation. “Toothpaste?” Peter nods, as someone walks in the door in the back.<br/><br/>
“Hey, I’m late, sorry!” Happy is smiling, piece of paper in his hands. Happy’s eyes are glowing with love. “Oh, you look beautiful” he tells May.<br/><br/>
May smiles back at Happy, “Thanks, you as well”.<br/><br/>
“New neckless?” Happy questions. And his right, Peter knows this. It’s silver, laying beautifully around May’s neck. But, there’s something wrong with that. It isn’t supposed to be, like that. It’s the dress that’s new, isn’t it? The neckless is a gift that Peter gave her years ago, it isn’t new. Happy has seen it before.<br/><br/>
May smiles, nods. “Yes, it is. A gift from Phill Coulson, my fiancé. And, your… newly shaved?”.<br/><br/>
“It’s my snap shave. Because, I shave it, in the snap” Happy laughs as his own jokes awkwardly “Snap shave. Anyways, the reason I’m late is because, this…” he holds out the paper, “… was misplaced at the office. Can you believe it? Because it’s enormous. Not the size, the amount. It’s is very generous, Tony Stark said he’s sorry he couldn’t be here”. Wasn’t Happy always cleaned shaved? Isn’t Tony Stark dead? Wasn’t that how things where just minutes ago. And who the hell is Phill!?<br/><br/>
“I’m going to check on the lasagna” May says, walking out. “And Peter. Go shakes hands, or else there wont be any dinner tonight!”.<br/><br/>
As May walks out, Peter turns to Happy. Staring at the clean shaves face, “what just happened?”.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>***</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Peter’s sure his classmates and teacher are watching the new, at the moment. Looking through articles on the internet and talking about the attack earlier that day. Peter almost wish he could be there too, instead of the shield base studying maps of where the next attack will find place.<br/><br/>
Turns out, Phill Coulson, is shield leader and has been ever since Fury was killed during the first alien attack, back in 2012. Which, yet again sounds so wrong. He can practically hear his friends from here, talking about that article that everyone in the internet has heard about. And Peter can almost see it as well. How MJ is sitting at the stairs, Flash walking around the room, nose in his phone.<br/><br/>
“Yes, yes, yes, yes! I want to go home Phill!” Peter says for the 3ed time since they returned to the base. He doesn’t want to be here, he shouldn’t be.<br/><br/>
“Well, it’s a good thing you packed your suit” Phill then reminds him. As if he didn’t hear Peter at all. “Because we need you. I can’t believe you didn’t have it in your backpack when it counted”.<br/><br/>
“At least I had my web shooters!” Peter points out, sighing “and people know who I am anyways”.<br/><br/>
A moment later May is running into the room, in high heels?! “Who was the person you where with? The Wizard was the Dr. Weird?”.<br/><br/>
Peter shakes his head at Phill, “You get to deal with this one”.<br/><br/>
“Dr. Stephen weird, and Dr. Stephen Strange isn’t the same person” Phill points out to May. “And no, we don’t know that he was. A new guy, most likely. He was trying to help him but-“ Phill pauses. Looking at May who’s standing at his desk eating his dinner. Deep breath. “No May. That’s my food! Don’t eat the one” he says moving closer to her pulling the food away from her.<br/><br/>
“What are you even doing here?” Peter asks, not quiet sure how and why May would be as some shield base.<br/><br/>
May smiles, “Happy invited me”. Like that’s any normal?<br/><br/>
“Happy’s here?!” Phill asks with disbelief in his voice. Because, Happy isn’t allowed at shield. Just like Tony Stark isn’t. At least, that’s what Peter’s brain tells him, even if it doesn’t seme right at all.<br/><br/>
May nods, “His upstairs” she takes her phone and calls him, “He wants to say hi”. She turns the phone towards them, they can only see Happy’s forehead.<br/><br/>
“Hi Phill!” Happy says with life and laugher in his voice.<br/><br/>
Phill sighs “Hey Happy” he says awkwardly, “what are you doing here?”.<br/><br/>
“I’m… working real hard, ‘here’. I got to do a, leaflet drop about the attack. I need information. I’m glad your having a good time, don’t worry I’ll take care of your girlfriend tonight”.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>***</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>It’s a mess. One, big, giant mess. With Peter in the middle of it.<br/><br/>
The elementals are a lie, fake. A story created by Phill, to get the Edith glasses from Peter. Because, in reality, mysterious is the villain. He was the villain all along. So Peter, being the responsible teen he is, want’s to warn May in Germany. Berlin. Because, that’s what he should do, right? It’s May’s boyfriend! She could, be in danger.<br/><br/>
But it’s all an illusion. MJ, Mary Jane falls from the tower, Pepper is dead. And Peter, is struck by a train. And now. Somehow, he isn’t sure… his in Denmark? More specifically, his on Lolland in Denmark. Who’s totally copying the Netherlands, because there’s a tulip field here as well. Even if Peter isn’t quiet sure how he would know that, though. He’s never been to the Netherlands, has he? He might have with shield once. But did they see tulips there?<br/><br/>
Peter doesn’t even know if it’s an illusion. Just, found the nearest person with a smartphone, an 18-year-old student named Ditte, wearing some way to big hoodie. Who, over the phone tells Tony that Peter is in some city called “Maribo”? If that doesn’t sound some, some illusion crap. Peter isn’t sure what it is.<br/><br/>
But he can’t really prove or deny that this, is very much real. So he waits.<br/><br/>
It takes longer than Peter would have expected for Tony to show up. For a billionaire, with a suit, and an arc reactor… his slow. At least, so Peter would think.<br/><br/>
Tony shows up in the quin jet. Lands on the top of the tulips, like it’s nothing. Like it doesn’t matter. Like they don’t matter. Which… Peter isn’t sure why it’s suddenly making him mad. It didn’t when Happy landed on tulips, so why now?<br/><br/>
Peter slowly walks towards the jet, as Tony comes out. But Peter quickly stops. Something doesn’t feel right, but that might just be his broken Spidey-sense. Why is it even broken in the first place?<br/><br/>
“STOP!” he screams at Tony who’s still getting closer. Tony seems confused, lifts an eyebrow, but stops anyways. “Tell me something only you would know” Peter begs.<br/><br/>
“Peter what the hel-“ Tony speaks.<br/><br/>
Peter shake his head, “I need to know it’s really you. That this… this is real”.<br/><br/>
“Really me? Peter, what the hell is going on here?” Tony questions and starts to move towards Peter again. But Peter starts walking backwards, stumbles over a stone and lands on the ground, still trying to get away from Tony.<br/><br/>
When Tony see’s the panic in Peter eyes he stops. “Okay. Okay” he mumbles. “Something only I would know?” Tony sighs, “You see me as a father figure, done so since day one. Since Berlin”.<br/><br/>
Peter shakes his head, “That isn’t a secret. Everyone knows by now”. Dose they? Peter wouldn’t think so, but this, other him… the other brain, with different memories, seems to think differently.<br/><br/>
“I don’t know then” Tony seems panicked. Just slightly. “What about…” breath, “I left you to die. During the civil war. Left you broken and bleeding, and if it hadn’t been for Steve you would have been dead. And I’m sorry…”.<br/><br/>
Peter feels something being taken of his shoulders, and scrambles to his feet, running into Tony’s arms, sobbing.<br/><br/>
It’s a blur to Peter as Tony guides him onto the jet. A blur of sadness and chaos, and tears. A cloud filling his mind, but somehow Tony mange’s to get them both on board. With careful steps of the stairs, and a gentle hand on Peter’s shoulder, guiding him to one of the seats.<br/><br/>
“Undeross? You got to tell me what the hell is going on here…” Tony says calmly, “How the hell did you get to Denmark anyways?”. That’s the wrong thing to ask, and Tony knows it. Peter’s hands are shaking, breath to shallow and fast as he panics quietly. “Relax Pete. We’re going to figure all this out, okay?”.<br/><br/>
Peter shakes his head, nausea filling him, as he stumbles from his seat to a nearby trashcan. Tony is at his side in seconds, placing a hand on Peter’s back, rubbing it around in soothing circles. “Calm down Peter. You have to relax. Come on, breath”.<br/><br/>
“Don’t tell me to relax! Tony. How can I relax when I messed up so bad?!” Peter shouts, “I trusted Phill. Right? I though he actually loved May, so I gave him the only thing that Mrs. Potts left behind for me. And now, he’s gonna kill my May, my friends and half of Europe. So please. Do NOT tell me to relax”. Peter sits down in one of the other chairs. It’s with shaky steps, but he makes it there, without help from Tony. Tony takes a seat on the floor in front of Peter, hands rubbing his knees and Peter catches his breath. “I’m sorry Tony. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t shout”, Peter takes a few deep, shaky breaths. “I just really miss her” he whispers.<br/><br/>
“Yeah? I miss her too” Tony replies. And somehow, that’s calming to Peter. Knowing he’s not alone about missing Pepper. That what he’s feeling is okay. Is normal. That it isn’t some weird mutation. Because, no one else really understand what it’s like. No one but Tony.<br/><br/>
“Everywhere I go, I see her face. And… the whole world is asking who’s going to be the next big hero. And I’m… I don’t know if that’s me, Mr. Stark. I’m no hero” Peter sniffles.<br/><br/>
“Your no hero” Happy agrees. Which totally isn’t the start of the motivational speech Peter had hoped for. It’s the opposite. But it’s something Tony would have said. It’s home Tony is. “Your never going to be a hero” Tony counties. “Nobody could live up to Pepper’s greatness, not even Pepper. Pepper was my wife, and she was the mother to my child. But she second-guessed everything she did, she was all over the place. The one thing she did, that she didn’t second-guess was picking you” Tony says. Choosing his words carefully. “I don’t think Pepper would have done, what she did, if she didn't know you were going to be here after she was gone. Because she didn’t see you as a hero, she saw you as a kid with passion and happiness. And that’s what builds a hero. The need to change the world, make it better. Not the title. But the person under the mask. And Pepper saw that” Tony breaths, “And your friends are in trouble, and your all alone. Your tech is missing. What are you going to do about it?”.<br/><br/>
Peter takes a deep breath, get’s up. “I’m gonna kick his ass”.<br/><br/>
“I mean, I mean right now. Specifically what are we’re going to do? Because we’ve been hovering over a tulip field for the last 30 minutes” Tony points out, “I probably have to buy the damn field now. Do you think people would want to buy Stark industries tulips?”.</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I hope you enjoyed it! Ever read the original civil war story line? No? You should.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0031"><h2>31. Defenders of planet Doom</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This Chapter takes place on earth 12041. Marvel's avengers assemble, season 1, episode 15.<br/>I needed some Clint time.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Hey Peter, it’s Clint. Clint Barton? We haven’t had a chance to talk a lot, but, when I heard about this I just needed to come and see how you were doing. Natasha wanted to come too, she really did, but… eh… she got an important mission that she had to go on. She isn’t sure when she’ll return.<br/>
<br/>
I hope you can forgive her for that. I mean, it’s her job we’re talking about after all. Just like this, was your parents job. Like it’s my job, like it was Sam’s job. Did you know that? Before same joined us he work for shield!”</p><p>***</p><p>
  <em>They are standing watch on the top of an old warehouse, allowing them a good view over most of the city, and more importantly Doom tower. The bigget, highest tower, placed in the middle of New York city, build by Doom himself. Closely followed by a statue of that very same person, holding the world in his hands. Like he was some sort of god.<br/>
<br/>
At this point in time, he might have been. He didn’t fear anyone or anything, expect a person that was called “the thundere” who would supposedly, set things right. They had been waiting for him for years, hoping and begging and praying, for this blond haired, red cape wearing god, to show himself to the people of New York. For the people of the world. Everyone had waited, knew he was coming. But no one knew when he was coming.<br/>
<br/>
So when their leader, Clint Barton, had gotten a hint from someone on the inside, the their savior was coming tonight, they had geared up and gone out. To protect, and to defend.<br/>
<br/>
And whatever contact Clint had on the inside, where right. It was just after midnight, maybe a few minutes over, when the green laser beam from the top of Doom tower shot towards the waterfront. Followed by the droids that Doom had created to keep everyone, from trying to stop him.<br/>
<br/>
It hadn’t worked, obviously, the Defenders where a thing. Some might even call them hero’s. But Doom hadn’t seen threatened by three people team.<br/>
<br/>
If only he knew what was to come.<br/>
<br/>
“Slinger you ready to take out some flying, metal droids?” Sam Wilson, their wing guys asks over the comm system. Peter flexes his wrist, checking over the mechanics or his metal wire once more making sure it haven’t been damaged but letting his fingers turn on the comm mic through his left ear.<br/>
<br/>
“All set, Snap. Waiting for orders” he replies. His voice is muffled from under the mask. It’s thick, and warm. But at least it protects his identity. Not that it’s really needed, Doom probably knows anyways. Though, of course he can’t be sure.<br/>
<br/>
There’s a slight crackling over the comm, before Clint speaks up. “Wait for my signal. And remember, we go in together, we come out together. No one is left to defend on their own. That’s an order!”. Peter has heard the a million times, said over and over again by Clint, since he joined the team. Since he became a Defender at the young age of 14. That was just three years prior.<br/>
<br/>
While Sam and Clint never said it out loud, Peter knew that the reason they kept repeating it was his sake. To remind him, he wasn’t alone anymore, that he didn’t have to fight on his own. That just because Ben and May had been killed in a mugging, and just because Peter couldn’t stop it, just because Peter didn’t have anywhere else to go, he was still a part of the team. Meaning that he mattered as much as everyone else. That he could do as much, as everybody else. Even if it was due to tech made from old shield gear, and dumpster trash. He was a part of something that was much bigger, than three guys. And being reminded of that, was great.<br/>
<br/>
With one foot in front of the other, they make it towards the swarm of droids.</em>
</p><p>***</p><p>“Natasha told me about that, mission of yours. Make Avengers trust each other again?<br/>
<br/>
Honestly, I hadn’t though that would ever happen. I mean, we didn’t end on a good note. Civil war was a mess, one big mess, that never should have happened. And between the fighting in Berlin, and the bombing… we knew there where more to the story.<br/>
<br/>
If Stark had just told us, then maybe things wouldn’t have gone this far. Maybe we wouldn’t have needed a 16-year-old, and ice-skating lessons to fix our problems. But I’m proud of you. Your parents would have been too.<br/>
<br/>
You didn’t just created trust between us again, you broke down Stark and Bucky’s walls.<br/>
<br/>
Sure, Bucky isn’t allowed in here. That’s more shield reasons than anything else though. But it’s clear hear cares about you, Peter. Even if you’ve only known each other since December.<br/>
<br/>
And when Friday told us that you weren’t getting enough oxygen, kid… Bucky and Stark where the first people at your side. And Stark, believe it or not. He asked Bucky to help him, to carry you to the med bay.<br/>
<br/>
I didn’t think we’d ever see something like that”.</p><p>***</p><p>
  <em>The sound of the Doombot’s being hit, thrown around into walls and the ground, and their shots and laser, could be heard far away. It really wasn’t hard at all to pinpoint where this supposed god where supposed to be.<br/>
<br/>
But it was shocking to find him the way they did. Caught under a few of the droids, their mouth gloving at him, ready to kill. And him, doing nothing about it.<br/>
<br/>
Clint, Bullseye as he called himself, where the first one to attack the droids, from the Defenders team. His arrow went flying through the air, spinning like on physics and math nerds could explain, and went straight through the head of the droid on top of blond man. With no problems, just completely smooth. So why didn’t the God do anything himself, if it were so easy?<br/>
<br/>
It wasn’t before the green light of the mouth, and red of the eyes on the droid went out, that the god throw the droid aside. Catching a flying hammer in the air, the seemed to come out of nowhere.<br/>
<br/>
Maybe he was a god?<br/>
<br/>
But then he just, kind of, froze? Stood there, watching as Clint took out three more droids. And started talking? His voice where muted, and far away over the comm system. “Hawkeye! Where have you-“ but is cut off by Clint as he starts speaking.<br/>
<br/>
“Looks like the intel was good, people” Clint confirms, dodging a few more shots from behind, “Snap, air support!”. And with the command Sam smiles to Peter before leaping off the roof at right speed. Shooting glass fibered wing pieces into the grounds that’s filling the air.<br/>
<br/>
Peter himself isn’t called in, but from his roof top, he can see two droids the others seem to miss. So he jumps down to a lower platform, shooting his metal wires at the droids, before smashing the droids together midair.  Causing them to break into a million pieces.<br/>
<br/>
The smell of gunfire, electrical smoke and fire filles the air around them. Sticking to the inside of Peter’s masks, as he breaths.<br/>
<br/>
Peter sighs as the droids fall to the ground, “For a guy who’s supposed to save humanity, he seems kinda slow” he points out. As the others keep fighting the bots. “I really hope ‘the one’ isn’t a dumb blond”.<br/>
<br/>
As another arrow flies through the air, causing a droid to explode, Clint turns towards Peter. “If you sip it, and helps us take out these Doom bots slinger, maybe you’ll live long enough to find out”.<br/>
<br/>
“We’re sticking our necks pretty far out there, guys” Peter says, as he with the help of his robotics back arms jumps and stick to the wall behind him, avoiding a few of the read laser shots the bots are shooting towards all of them, from every possible direction. “So if you are ‘the thundere’… A little help?” Peter asks the blond, as he pulls out a few bombs and throw them at the bots on the ground.<br/>
<br/>
The blond man doesn’t say anything to Peter’s request for help, but he does lift his hammer up into the air pointing it towards the droids still in the air.<br/>
<br/>
And light blue lightning the meets his hammer, and is redirected to the droids, crakes between the metals robots, almost like a spider web. The energy that fill’s the air, leaves Peter breathless as he watching the droids fall from the sky. Creaking the concrete ground as they collide with the ground.<br/>
<br/>
Clint and Sam are the first to go meet the Thundere, “No one calls him a dumb blond again. Agree?” Clints asks, as Sam hums in agreement. Peter carefully slings down from hit spot on the wall. Joining the others.<br/>
<br/>
“Where is Iron man, hulk? Captain America?” The blonds starts asking, again with all the weird names that he’s been using since they first save him. Hawkeye, Falcon, Spider-man? What did that even mean? The Defenders just looks to each other, all asking the same unspoken thing. ‘What is he talking about’. “Barton, what happened here?”. And that’s… interesting. How does he know Clint’s secret identity?<br/>
<br/>
“HE knows your ID?” Sam sound as shocked as Peter feels.<br/>
<br/>
“Apparently” Clints shrugs, “It looks like we got a lot to talk about, but NOT here. Defenders move out!”.</em>
</p><p>***</p><p>“I think you parents would have been proud of you, Peter. Not just because of what you did with Tony and Bucky, but because of Spider-man. I wish they could have met the person you have become; wish they would see what they helped create.<br/>
<br/>
On the surface, you’re still a kid. A nerdy, awkward kid, with girl problems.<br/>
<br/>
But at heart, your so much more. Your kind and sweat. And forgiving. When Stark tells us about you, and your way of acting. He always brings up homecoming. Told us about how you saved the villain in the end, because he was going to get himself killed.<br/>
<br/>
I know a lot of people kid, a lot of heroes. But even Captain America wouldn’t have saved his enemies.<br/>
<br/>
Your something bigger than all of us together”. </p><p>***</p><p>
  <em>The easiest way to safety, is by boat. The defenders know this, and so a speed boat is laying ready close to the area they meet Thor. Because that’s his name? Thor. Like that’s very hero like. Not very god like, either.<br/>
<br/>
Peter is the one who takes control of the boat. Let’s himself slip in behind the steering, sinks into the soft seat, and breaths. Give himself a moment to take in everything that just happened.<br/>
<br/>
When he became a Defender, when he was offered the chance to change the world for the better, this wasn’t quiet what he had imagined. It wasn’t bad, not at all. But if Sam and Clint had thrown the story of ‘the thundere’ at him, any earlier than they did, he wouldn’t have believed them. He would have taken his gear and left. Leaving them on their own, with the thought that they were mentally unstable. Honestly, maybe they all were. Even himself.<br/>
<br/>
During whole their, getting away by boat thing, there where introductions. Of course, Thor already know who both Sam and Clint where, but seemingly didn’t know about Peter. (That’s his luck).<br/>
<br/>
Followed by them having the explain the legend of how a thonder god where suppose to save earth, from Dr. Doom. Which… sounded weird than it should have.<br/>
<br/>
But of course, getting to safety, wasn’t an option. Before they even know it they’re attacked by the ‘Black bride’. Sam is hit, and Peter is forced to get the boat towards land. Which is harder than you’d think, when getting attacked by droids and a flying human bride.<br/>
<br/>
Without really having a plan, or a change to create a plan, Thor is already out of the boat, swinging his hammer at the bots once again. But this time things go differently. Or, well… wrong.<br/>
<br/>
Doom is prepared.<br/>
<br/>
Of course, Doom is prepared!<br/>
<br/>
What were they thinking?<br/>
<br/>
As Thor throws his hammer with all his power, a beam from a new machine, that Peter doesn’t know what is, hit the hammer. That in itself might not by a problem, but the magical, purple pink, shield that created around the hammer… might be.<br/>
<br/>
And that’s confirmed when Thor tries with all his power to summon the hammer, only the fail. Be hold back, or blocked out? His muscles locking up, and the hammer doing, nothing.<br/>
<br/>
How they get away from the attack, is a blur. Literally. Between Peter throwing smoke bombs, and his brain trying to figure out what something in the back of his neck is telling him not to trust Thor, he don’t know how they get away. How they got on board the helicarrier. But they do.<br/>
<br/>
So while the other’s start talking, Peter pulls his guns on Thor. “She knew you were coming! A funny tingling in the back of my neck, tells me this might just be another one of Doom’s traps!”.<br/>
<br/>
Cline rises his own bow towards Peter, forgetting about the ‘together’ part of the Defenders. “Pete, this is no time for paranoia”.<br/>
<br/>
“Paranoia has kept us alive this long Barton” Sam argues, defending Peter, as he steps between them. “How do we know ‘the one’ is even real? Why show now, when we needed him a long time ago?”.<br/>
<br/>
Thor shakes his head, “I can not answer that Sam. It’s beyond my death. But I AM your ally and friend. Please, just… tell me how Doom came to wield such control?”.<br/>
<br/>
Peter and Barton both lower their weapons with a long sigh. This isn’t getting them anywhere, and Doom is still controlling the planet. That won’t change any time soon. Peter knows that for a fact. Things don’t change, because one person shows up. No matter how much God, or how much Hero said person believes themselves to be. Or how much of a hero, he believes all of them to be. Because if they where hero’s, they wouldn’t need help. Doom would have been gone, defeated, a long time ago.<br/>
<br/>
If Peter where a hero, May and Ben would be there, with him.<br/>
<br/>
“One day his dictator of a tiny country no one’s ever heard of, Next? His everywhere” Barton explains to the God. “Armer with technology no one’s ever seen before. No army on earth could fight it. So, it was joining Doom, or die” Barton shakes his head, “It’s history one O one blondie”.<br/>
<br/>
“Not my history” Thor argues, like his story is going to change anything. “It’s only yesterday, we fought together as Avengers! You are all hero’s of great power”.<br/>
<br/>
“Power? Ha!” Peter shrugs. Straightening up before he continues. Desperate to seem powerful, and important. Like Thor believes they should be. “All we have is the junk we scrap together. But you…” Peter lifts a finger and walks toward the god, “You where the one. WHERE! Our sources promised us this big buck kicking worrier with a Doom smashing hammer. No weapon? No threat. Your not ‘the one’”. Wont ever be, goes unspoken.</em>
</p><p>***</p><p>“We all care about you Pete, trust me. When you wake up, we are all going to be right here. Next to you, helping you back on your feet.<br/>
<br/>
Stark already set up a house for you, Pepper and himself. Found a good school, without bullying. Because he does know about it. Already got Skip back behind bars. Suing Dr. Brown, and all the new companies that spilled about your secrets.<br/>
<br/>
I once told Wanda this, and I think you might need to hear it too.<br/>
<br/>
When you wake up, and you go out again. You go out there to fight, and you go out there to kill the rummers. If you stay inside, your good. Your safe. But if you step out that door, and show the world who you are, you are an avenger.<br/>
<br/>
And a damn good one, at that”.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So, almost done with arc 4. Next chapter is the ending of the coma dream. And thing are going to change, take a turn. I already leaked the fact, that endgame is coming. But what is that going to mean for Not By Blood? Well, let's figure that one out together! </p><p>Thank you for following my story.</p><p>Can't wait to write more!</p><p>Oh and, before I forget. I know I primarly write about Spider-man. Which, I love. But, I also write about the flash and hope to write about Star Wars too, very soon. Do you enjoy that, then go follow my profil. I do have plans for a major crossover, both between Marvel and The Flash. But also Marvel and Star wars! :D</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0032"><h2>32. Pay attention to everything, and the truth will reveal itself (Part 1)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>1. I lied. I though this was going to be the finally chapter in the coma dream. But it isn't. It simply became, too long compared to the other chapters. So, I'm cutting it in two. This one is 32** something. I didn't check the right number. But, like. 1/3 longer than a normal chapter of not by blood.<br/>2. Yes. This is star wars. Yes, I do plan to write for the actually Star Wars fandom in the future.<br/>To the person wanting to see how things really play out, these scene can be found in Star wars rebels, season 1, episode 8 and 9.<br/>Thank you.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Hey Kiddo. It’s me, Mr. Stark. Tony. I’m sorry I didn’t come before now. Things have been, a mess since the media figure out about the fact that I adopted you. Which, we shouldn’t have to deal with. You’re a kid, and I don’t want you to grow up like I did. Forced into the spotlight because of my family name.<br/><br/>
Your don’t deserve that, Pete. Spider-man doesn’t deserve that.<br/><br/>
Me and Pepper are doing everything in our power to fix this. To make it as easy for you, as we possibly can. It does involved switching school, I want to have you somewhere slightly more private. But It’s a good school, great kids. I’m sure you’ll enjoy it.<br/><br/>
That house me and Pepper looked at back in December, before you changed your mind about whole the movie out of the compound thing? It’s already set up. Just waiting for you to wake up.<br/><br/>
Your bedroom is slightly smaller, but bigger than what you had in the Queens apartment where you and May lived. Good kitchen area. Got private bathrooms, for each bedroom. We even got Karen and Friday programmed in. And a nice workshop for you and I.<br/><br/>
We’re just waiting for you”.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>
  <em>The early morning sun was making the Lothal fields hot and caused the younger boy to sweat and feel slightly less energetic than he usually would. Though that might has well have been the specific day, and the specific training exercises that was speaking.<br/><br/>
The only break in the backing heat, was the slight wind caused the high grass to dance over the small mountain tops, and bumps down the field that Peter and Tony where training on, close to the Ghost, should they need to get away.<br/><br/>
“Step out of yourself, make a connection with another being” Tony taught, explaining what he wanted Peter to do.  But connecting to another being. Another person even, was hard for Peter. His parents where dead, gone. Killed and destroyed by the empire. It had been hard to make connections ever since then. Even now, having joined the Ghost crew it was hard.<br/><br/>
Sure, it was okay with Tony. Tony and Peter where connected with what Tony called a ‘training bond’. Another force thing, that Peter had yet to learn and figure out.<br/><br/>
Peter sighed. “Can we do this another day?” he begs, frustrations is clear in his voice. He doesn’t try and hide it, why would he.<br/><br/>
“We can do it now” Tony smiles, as he picks up a rock from the ground. “Forces”, he reminds Peter as he gets into a god throwing position. It shouldn’t be needed; Tony’s got the force. He can just push the rock to wherever he wants. But he does so anyways.<br/><br/>
“Just throw the rock” Peter sighs, as Tony finally throws the rock out into the higher grass. Not knowing what might be hiding or hunting that he might hit.<br/><br/>
Peter get’s into positions, both hands raised, slightly to shield himself, and slightly so he’s ready to reach out into the force like Tony had taught him. And it doesn’t take more than a few seconds, for an angry loth cat to jump out of the grass, likely having been disturbed by his master’s rock throwing.<br/><br/>
The loth cat is snarling, showing off a perfect set, of sharp, white, teeth. Trying to scare him a Tony away from its hunting spot. “I don’t think it wants to connect” Peter points out, taking a slight step back. He can’t connect with the animal, but he can sense it’s angry. Its hate.<br/><br/>
“Your resisting” Tony points out, and it’s true. Peter is. “He can sense it”.<br/><br/>
“He can sense it?” Peter questions. Because if it can sense it, that would mean it’s strong with the force, just like Peter himself. So why can’t he connect? “What is he like some padawan pet?”.<br/><br/>
Peter barely get’s the words out, before the loth cat makes a jump and hit Peter square in the chest. Causing him to tumble backwards, falling on his back, as the cat tries to scratch his eyes out. And Tony, all Tony does it laughed at him. Peter can’t see what’s so funny. “You don’t seem to be getting this”. And Tony’s right. Peter doesn’t get it. Year’s on the street, having to fight to survive, does that to you. So why would Tony even bother trying to teach Peter this. What’s the point?<br/><br/>
“I get this furball is trying to kill me” Peter says, fighting his way up on elbows before grabbing the loth cat, and throwing it back onto the ground where it keeps growling as Peter get’s back up. “GIVE me your lightsaber, and I’ll back the connection”. It comes our harsher than Peter had wanted, but he doesn’t care.<br/><br/>
“Excuse me?” Tony raises an eyebrow as he looks at Peter.<br/><br/>
Peter takes a deep breath, folding his arms over his chest. Closing of. “I’m sorry, I just…” shrug “don’t see the point of this”.<br/><br/>
“The point is that you’re not alone” Tony says. Like that explains everything, “Your connected to every living thing in the universe” he says he raises his own hands and closes his eyes. Peter can feel Tony reach out into the force, can feel Tony’s calm and quick mind, as he looks for the cat’s signature in the force. As he connects with it, making it seem easy. But it isn’t easy to Peter. “But to discover that, you have to let your guard down. You have to be willing, to attach to others”.<br/><br/>
Peter just looks at the now, very calm loth cat, that’s sitting on the ground meowing at him. “And what if I can’t?”.<br/><br/>
“If you always hang on to your past, if you always try and protect yourself. You’ll never be a jedi”.<br/><br/>
“Then maybe, I’ll never be a jedi” Peter points out. Honestly, he isn’t sure why Tony is still bothring to train him. So far all he’s done, is fall of Ghost during lightsaber training, and had one lucky force push that saved the big purple lasat. That saved the lasat Ned, Peter’s roommate at Ghosts, where they share a bunk bed.<br/><br/>
Peter isn’t jedi material.<br/><br/>
“Kid” Tony sighs, “Whatever’s going on with you, you need to spill it”.<br/><br/>
“I’m sorry Tony I don’t mean to wear you out” He sighs, “Today’s not a good day, it’s, never a good day”. Tony looks at him questioning eyes, begging for an explanation, that Peter isn’t willing to give. The easier answer is “Empire Day”.<br/><br/>
As Peter says the words, the cat snarls and runs away again, just before two imperial tie fighters fly over their heads. Towards the little town where the poor people, of Lothal lives.</em>
</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>“It’s a month today. Since… since the overdose. Helen and Bruce say there’s no change in your vitals, but that you seem to be fully recovered. That it’s you mind trying to protect you from the stress and pressure of everything going on.<br/><br/>
I em… I found out about what MJ and Ned did. Some nearby kid recorded it around a corner.<br/><br/>
The audio is really bad, but the majority it clear enough for me to understand it. Dammit kid, I didn’t know Ned and MJ had turned against you after May died. I hope I didn’t do anything to start this.<br/><br/>
If I did, then I’m so, so sorry.<br/><br/>
I didn’t mean to. But I’m known for being hard to be around. And I don’t know how to deal with kids. You’re the only kid that I can deal with, and even that I seem to be pretty bad at”.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>It becomes clear that the empire is looking for a Rodian. At least’s that what bar owner, Mr. Delmar can tell Tony, Peter and rest of the Ghost crew. Which is the lasat Ned, the human MJ, twilick May, as well as the old droid that May saved, named Jarvis.<br/><br/>
What Mr. Delmar doesn’t know is why the empire is looking for the Rodian.<br/><br/>
Peter doesn’t know that either. There would be no logical reasons, as far as Peter knows, for the empire to be interest in Ben. Or Uncle Ben, like Peter used to call him as a kid.<br/>
Peter doesn’t tell the Ghost crew that he knows the Rodian. Doesn’t join the crew when they go to sabotage the parade. Peter hides away in the tower for hours, till he realized that he knows where Ben would go to hide.<br/><br/>
So he saves Tony, MJ and Ned from being caught by the empire, by showing them his old house. And to tops everything off, Tony and MJ figure’s out what the empire would be interested in the Rodian. In Ben.<br/><br/>
In the meantime, Peter goes through the secret basement.<br/><br/>
It’s been close off since his parents where taken away. It’s dark, the power having been cut out. Everything is covered by a thick layer of dust, and there’s a rotten, not very pleasant smell hanging in the air, making Peter nauseous. But despite the fact it’s run down, it looks like it always did. Radios, transmitters, microphones, everywhere. Because from here, Peter’s parents used to fight back against the empire, with words. Change the world, on word at a time.<br/><br/>
The most important thing they ever said, and likely the thing that got them killed in the end where ‘with great power, comes great responsibility’. A desperate attempt of making people fight.<br/><br/>
In one of the old machines, is an old, dust, broken, holodisk. It’s sticky, and tricky to get out as Peter put all his power into getting it out of its port.<br/><br/>
He barely get’s a chance to study it before he hears that sound, that always seems to come when the force wants to show him something. Only, this time is different. Usually it warns him of danger, tells him where to jump, or what to do. But now…<br/><br/>
… he hears voices.<br/><br/>
<strong>“The risk your Parker’s take. Ben says you must think of your son!”.<br/><br/>
“He’s all we think about. We teach Peter to stand up for people in need”.<br/><br/>
“We’re fighting for our son’s freedom”.<br/><br/>
“Ben doesn’t fight battles; Ben knows cannot be won. Why should you Parkers?”.</strong><br/><br/>
“You want to see this” it’s MJ he pulls Peter out of it, was a startled gasp. “What’s with the old disk?”.<br/><br/>
“My folks used to do undergrounds podcast from here, speaking up against the empire. It’s probably, just one of them” Peter says dismissively as he places it with a loud thud on top of the record, he pulled it from.<br/><br/>
From there, it’s a fight about getting out of Capital city as fast as possible, with a mentally broke Rodian.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>“I watched those movies you’re such a fan of. Star wars. Showed them to Bucky, even. They’re, good. I see why you and… Ned, would enjoy these things. Though, it’s hard to keep track of everything. I mean, what is a twilick or a Rodian, or something completely different.<br/><br/>
I don’t get how you kids to it, like it’s just some game.<br/><br/>
Maybe I’m too old.<br/><br/>
When you… when you wake up, we could probably try and build a real lightsaber, if you’d want. That would be cool, right?<br/><br/>
At least I hope you’d find that cool.<br/><br/>
Personally I’d like a blue one, but I think green might be more you. Or, maybe red would be more you, but that’s sith, and your too good to be a sith.<br/><br/>
There’s this webpage, that says people with a green saber is stronger with the force. Wiser. While people with saber’s a better warrior. That’s why I’m thinking green for you. But we could probably make any color, really”.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>
  <em>It’s one moment, on a bumpy ride on Ghost, as they try to escape the empire. Peter loses his balance, stumbling into Ben as they both fall to the ground. Ben hitting the back of his head on the floor.<br/><br/>
It’s on moment, one stumble, one hit, that changes things.<br/><br/>
Ben’s eyes clear up as he looks around desperately. Locking onto Peter’s face. “Peter! Peter Parker”. Peter scrambles back, gasping for air as he calms down after the fall. “It’s you!!”.<br/><br/>
“Yes, Ben. It’s me” Peter confirms as Ben get’s to his feet moving closer to Peter. “But now isn’t the best time for a reunion” he keeps stepping back, but Ben is bigger and take bigger steps than Peter can, so before he knows it the Rodian is placing his hands on his shoulders, meeting his eyes.<br/><br/>
“Peter Parker. Ben…” And Peter’s lost as the Rodian starts speaking in a language that Peter doesn’t know. MJ is standing in the doorway as Peter looks to her begging her to translate.<br/><br/>
“He says…” MJ looks chocked, “he says he knows what happened to your parents”. And Peter knows too. At least, he thinks so. He would guess so. They where taken away, killed. Leaving Peter to fight for himself, alone, on the street. Left him alone. Or more specifically, left him to Ben. And Ben had failed, left Peter to fight for himself. Couldn’t even give him a roof over his head.<br/><br/>
May, the captain and pilot of the team, soon called MJ to man one of the guns. Leaving Peter and Ben alone. In the awkward, quiet, silence. It doesn’t last long though, when the hyperdrive is broken down, and Peter is called to fix it.<br/><br/>
It isn’t Peter specialty. He doesn’t know that much about plain mechanics; be he knows enough. And right now, it’s a question between life and death. And with the important, imperial data that Ben as collected, dying would be a really bad plan. And with Chopper down, there isn’t a lot of other options.<br/><br/>
By the time they finally make it into hyperspace, the place where they can’t be followed… it becomes clear, that the inquisitor is on their trail. And to add to the story, there’s a new imperial tracker placed on phantom.<br/><br/>
The plans supposed to seem easy. Tony and Peter goes to the planet with Fyrnocks. Here they remove the tracker, and fight the inquisitor.<br/><br/>
It’s supposed to be easy.<br/><br/>
Spoiler alert, it isn’t.</em>
</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>“Kiddo. I know this is hard and seems so unfair. And I know, you still miss May. I don’t blame you. I still miss my parents as well, and they have been dead for a lot longer.<br/><br/>
I wasn’t even left an orphan. I, was just left to myself. And Jarvis, of course.<br/><br/>
Jarvis would have liked you.<br/><br/>
But, just because it’s okay to miss them, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t move on.<br/><br/>
And I’m… I’m not sure if you have yet. If whatever is keeping you in this, coma state… is because your scared. Not to be an orphan, you won’t. You’re a Stark now. Starks don’t break. But afraid of the truth. Afraid of the fact, that you can’t blame yourself for what happened to May.<br/><br/>
Or to Ben.<br/><br/>
Or to your parents.<br/><br/>
And whatever happens to me, and Pepper and the Avengers…<br/><br/>
… That isn’t on you either”.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>
  <em>“Your blocked” Tony jumps down from phantom behind Peter. Hands up, ready to take over if the creatures because dangerous, or comes to close. “You have to let go!”.<br/><br/>
Peter’s hands are shaking, violently. “I can’t!”.<br/><br/>
“Don’t be afraid” Tony reminds him. Don’t be afraid of them, it’s just very big cat’s. They would kill you, unless you threaten them. Wont hurt you, unless they have to. They’re one with the force, like Peter, like Tony. Like every living creature in the galaxy.<br/><br/>
Peter knows that. “I’m not afraid of them!” Peter argues. Hands raised, eyes shut tight. He isn’t scared of them. He’s scared of what might happen to them. Of what he might lose.<br/><br/>
“Then what?” Tony questions as the animals comes closer, and closer.<br/><br/>
“I don’t know” Peter argues. Because, maybe he isn’t sure. Maybe, his truth isn’t here. Isn’t with him. Maybe… maybe, the truth is back at the ship. At Ghost, with Ben. Back on Lothal, with his parents.<br/><br/>
Tony shakes his head, but doesn’t lose focus on the animals, “Yes you do”.<br/><br/>
“I-“ Peter starts but Tony is faster.<br/><br/>
“Peter! What are you afraid of?”.<br/><br/>
“I’m afraid of…” The animals comes closer, in a second Peter can touch them with his hands. “I’m afraid of knowing. I’m… I’M AFRIAD OF THE TRUTH!” the animals grovels higher. Louder. But Peter can’t here it over the sound of the force calling out to him. Over the force singing inside his ears. “I’m Sorry!” the sound, the melody, the sound grows louder and louder. Stronger for ever pacing second. “I forgive you Uncle Ben! I forgive you”.<br/><br/>
Distantly, like carried by the wind Peter can here Ben’s reply though the force. “Thank you. Forgive me, Peter. Forgive me”.<br/><br/>
And Peter connects to the Fyrnocks.<br/><br/>
By the time the empire comes around, finds them, hiding in the old ship hanger. Inside the darkness, and the shadows. Peter and Tony, together with the Fyrnocks, are ready to attack. Ready to fight.<br/><br/>
The battle between Tony and the inquisitor is long, and powerful. Every crash between the two lightsabers makes them flicker with a purple light. Makes the humming of the laser louder. From concentrated. Peter can hear the crystals. Feel the power the radiation of them. But he knows that’s just a mask. The weapon isn’t what makes you a jedi.<br/><br/>
Even if lightsabers are, super cool.</em>
</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>“Peter, I need you to wake up. I can’t keep living without you. I can’t fail you too. Remember… if you die… that’s on me, kiddo. That’s on me”.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>
  <em>The inquisitor get’s the upper hand. Throws Tony into a wall, from where he falls to the ground, unconscious. And with the little lightsaber training Peter has, he doesn’t stand a chance against his enemies.<br/><br/>
Who faster than Peter even knows, get’s Tony’s blue lightsaber, before Peter can he focus on pulling it to himself through the force.<br/><br/>
Before he knows it, the inquisitor pushes him too. Closer, and closer to the edge. To a freefall, that’s going to kill him, break him. Shatter every bone in his body.<br/><br/>
“The darkness is too strong for you, orphan. It is swallowing you up, even now” the inquisitor steps closer. The sabers in his hands are throwing shadows of color on his face, as he laughs.<br/><br/>
“No” Peter argues. But there isn’t any power to it. Isn’t any truth in it. Because he know it’s true. He can feel a coldness, a darkness in the force, that isn’t supposed to be there. And he knows, that is what Tony warns him about. The dark side.<br/><br/>
“Your master will die” The inquisitor walks closer. His eyes shining with hate. With power.<br/><br/>
“No!” This time there’s a little more power. A little more strength to it. But he’s suddenly shivering as the coldness floats over his body.<br/><br/>
“Your friends will die. And everything you hoped for. Will. Be. Lost. This is the way, the story ends”.<br/><br/>
The force is once again singing. Colder, and darker now. No longer beautiful, but scary and filled with fear, but Peter reaches out into it anyways. Hoping that the inquisitor is wrong, as he let’s his eyes slips closed. Let’s the darkness float over him.</em>
</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>“Peter please… wake up…”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Alright so. I'm sorry about the Star wars thing. But, I do like where this ended up. I felt like, this could kinda show how Peter is still struggling with both the new death of May, but also the one of Ben. Of his parents. And the fear of everything else he might lose. At the same time, both Peter Parker, and I am big star wars fans. So, I just couldn't control myself.<br/>Disney plus becomes a thing in my area tomorrow. So be warned, I might not post for like, a week. But part two of this chapter is done. It will be posted tomorrow. Trust me. This was tones of fun to write. These chapters. It's just... so different. But I think you'll like it. </p>
<p>Spoiler alert: Thanos is coming. Next chapter. Keep your eyes open.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0033"><h2>33. Pay attention to everything, and the truth will reveal itself (Part 2)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>When being about to post the chapter, I did a last minute read through, and realized... I weren't happy.<br/>I rewrote it, and it's a tone better now. Enjoy my dear friends!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Peter please… wake up…” The last words come out with a sob. With tears floating in Tony’s eyes, as he places his hands on the cold glass tank, filled with a thick liquid that Bruce keeps sayings is going to help Peter. Is going to make him heal faster, faster recovery.<br/><br/>
Tony should be happy about that, but really all he wants to do is grab his boys’ hand and hold it. Feel the heat of his body, and watch his chest rise for every breath he took, or for every breath forced into his lungs through a tube.<br/><br/>
That would be better than this. Better than the unknown about, when he can look into Peter’s eyes once more. Look into those green eyes, and smile. Because they made it.<br/><br/>
They won’t make it.<br/><br/>
All that’s left is a body, the shell of a boy, floating in a tank. A tube down his throat, millions of cords connected to his body. His long curly hair, is floating above his head. The hoodie he’s wearing is too big, but the only option in the tank. Peter haven’t worn it while Tony knew him. Tony isn’t even sure the green hoodie is Peter’s. Maybe Ben’s? Did Peter keep Ben’s cloth? Tony didn’t know, hadn’t ever asked. If that was the case, maybe he should where the MIT hoodie a bit more often. So that is still smelled like him, just in case something was going to happen.<br/><br/>
Because Tony knew, something was going to happen.<br/><br/>
He had seen it. Named it the Endgame. And he know shield knew about it too. That was the reason the team needed to trust each other. Tony saw that now.<br/><br/>
It had taken a while to figure out.<br/><br/>
”Damn it Peter. This isn’t working. It’s DONE!” Tony sobs… “I trusted you to tell me when you had problems, Peter. But you didn’t” Pepper sneaks in behind him. Careful hands being placed on his shoulders. “We are moving. And you’ll switch to a private school, it’s safer”. Safer for who? Tony or Peter. Both? “Tonight. Me and Pepper moves tonight, we’re ready for you to come home”. Pepper nods.<br/><br/>
Tony sinks to his knees in front of the tank. Looking at the way to thin body, of Peter Parker.<br/><br/>
Silently prays that Peter wakes. And-<br/><br/>
Movement. A twitch of his right hand. “He’s waking” Tony says it with awe in his eyes. He’s waking up. Now, right this moment. He moved! He’s waking up. Peter’s going to be alright.<br/><br/>
Pepper hands leaves Tony shoulders, he can distantly hear Pepper high heals hit the floor, as she with quick steps moves towards the door. Calling for Bruce and for Helen to come. To help. To notify them of this development. Because he moved. He moved he really moved!<br/><br/>
“What’s going on in here?” It’s Bruce who enters the room first. Ready to jump in, if something isn’t right. If somethings going wrong.<br/><br/>
Tony just looks at the boy inside the tube, “He moved. He’s waking up. Bruce, you have to get him out”. Bruce, freezes. Looks down into the floor and takes a deep breath as he moves to Tony’s side. As he get’s closer.<br/><br/>
“Tony” He starts, carefully, looking for the right words, “he isn’t waking up. It’s normal for people in the tank for have muscle spasms after so long in there” Bruce sits down next to him. “I promise. You’ll be the first to know when he wakes up. The first person to be informed. But you have to be patient. It might take a while”.<br/><br/>
Tony shakes his head, the tears starts to float again. “No… no…” Tony’s voice breaks. “He… he moved. I know it!”.<br/><br/>
Bruce puts a careful hand on Tony’s shoulder, “I’m sorry Tony”.<br/><br/>
Tony shrugs the hand of with a quick motion as he get’s into a stand. He doesn’t look back at the tank. At the boy. He walks out. He leaves the hospital room. The med bay. The shield base. He leaves it all behind. With a silenced, ‘wake up’. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p><em>“A small price to pay for salvation” The voice Peter can hear changes slightly. Becomes more deep, less sharp. But still feels the same. The thoughts are still the same. Yet, the slight change is enough for Peter to carefully open his eyes.<br/><br/>
He’s no longer caught in the darkness of the ship hanger. No longer near the edge of a deep, deep fall. He’s in a battlefield. The ruins of the compound surrounding him.<br/><br/>
But there’s no army, not avengers, no warriors. Only him, and-<br/><br/>
“I understand, my child. Better than anyone” The big, purple man, with a metal glove filled with shining stones haves taken the inquisitors place in this word. “Going to bed hungry? Scrounging for scraps? Your planet was on the brink of collapse. I’m the one who stopped that. Do you know what’s happened since then? The children born have known nothing but full bellies and clear skies. It’s a paradise”.<br/><br/>
The six stone are shining in different colors. Shining brighter than anything Peter has ever seen before. Filled with power. With energy.<br/><br/>
“I don’t know what your talking about” Peter argues with the giant. Thanos. His name is Thanos. He knows that. But where he knows it from, he doesn’t know. “The earth’s great. We stick together! That’s what’s important”.<br/><br/>
Thanos looks at Peter with disappointment. “Little one, it’s a simple calculus. This universe is finite, its resources finite. If life is left unchecked, life will cease to exist. It needs correction. With all six stones, I could simply snap my fingers, and they would all seize to exist. I call that mercy”.<br/><br/>
Peter shakes his head, “That isn’t mercy! That’s what I call murder”.<br/><br/>
“The hardest choices require the strongest wills” Thanos says, “I offered a solution, But not even you would surrender something so precious”.<br/><br/>
“No one would” Peter argues, “It could be their friends. Their family. Who would give that up?”.<br/><br/>
“My home. Titan was just like most planets. Too many mouths, not enough to go around. And when we faced extinction, I offered a solution” Thanos sits down in the sand in front of Peter. Takes a deep breath, “They called me a madman. But what I predicted came to pass. I am… I am…”.<br/><br/>
Peter shakes his head, “What are you that’s so important? You’re a killer. A cold-blooded killer”.<br/><br/>
Thanos shakes his head “I’m a survivor” Thanos lifts his glowed hand, preparing to snap his fingers, “I am inevitable”. As Thanos fingers meat each other, all color, all life is drained from Peter’s surroundings. A loud metallic click echoes in his ears. Leaving only darkness behind.<br/><br/>
Darkness, Peter, and Thanos. Standing in front of him.<br/><br/>
Bits and pieces of the universe, glitzing in and out. Pieces he knows, pieces he doesn’t. Piece he has seen before, by mistake. Piece he shouldn’t know.<br/><br/>
And… Is he floating? It feels like his floating. But that doesn’t make any sense. He can feel the ground under his feet. The ever-changing surface but… That isn’t right.<br/><br/>
He looks around, desperate to find something, anything that make sense. To figure something out. Anything out. What’s the beeping? A deep breath comes from Thanos. A deep, mechanical breath that… sounds like-<br/><br/>
Peter turns around, turns back to where Thanos is supposed to be. Be instead, there, right in front of him is the villain of his favorite movies. His black mask, his dark eyes, staring back at him.<br/><br/>
Vader. Dearth Vader.<br/><br/>
“Your mentor has deceived you into thinking you can become a hero”. The voice is mechanical. Controller by the front of the mask. But somethings wrong with the breathing sound… it’s more like-</em><br/><br/>
A ventilator. Hospital gear. “I failed her, and you and. And Peter, it’s okay. Is that understood?”.<br/><br/>
<em>“We asked for a chance to defeat the sith” Tony is laying on the ground, Vader standing over him, fear in his eyes, as the black void swallows everything else, “and we failed”.<br/><br/>
“You know, he blames himself” It’s May. May’s voice. May’s dead, Peter. May’s dead. Peter turns around. Faster than he though possible. “For what happened to you, to his parents”.<br/><br/>
Ben looks into the ground, not meeting May’s eyes “well, I don’t”.<br/><br/>
May sighs, points in Peter’s direction “I wish you’d tell him that”.<br/><br/>
“you can’t blame yourself for what happened to May” Tony says. But Tony isn’t here. Only the Ghost’s of his past. Of his failure.<br/><br/>
The picture faints. May and Ben disappear.</em> They aren’t real. They aren’t real. They aren’t real. <em>“Is it sadness I sense in you, Peter? In my heart, I knew you still cared. But one never knows for sure. Reality is often disappointing. That is, it was. Now... Reality can be whatever you want” Thanos places a hand on his shoulder. </em> Peter doesn’t feel it. What he does feel is pain radiating from his arm.<br/><br/>
Pain that shouldn’t be there. Where does it come from?! “There’s a change in vitals” The voice sound far away, like under water. Where is he- <em>“So few have a choice to live the life they want” it’s Palpatine’s old, broke hands, that’s laying on his shoulder.<br/><br/>
Before him a door open. His parents smiling at him, calling for him. Begging him to come home. “There is the control for the gateway. Activated it and you can be with your family again”.<br/><br/>
“What about my friends?” Peter asks, stepping closer to the Door. Looking into his parent’s eyes.<br/><br/>
But taking that step forward, is a mistake. It’s like the ground under he’s feet disappear, and he falls. Falls deeper, and deeper, into the darkness. But he can’t hear any wind. And suddenly he hits the ground again.<br/><br/>
The Spiderman suit is covering him, he’s laying on a metal surface. It doesn’t feel cold. He’s in the elevator, in DC. He’s friends surrounding him, and the elevator falling. Down, down, down. Their screaming all around him, begging to someone, anyone to save them. But no one comes, and they don’t seem to see Peter either. ‘Because this isn’t real’ a voice tells him.<br/><br/>
Peter carefully sits up, looks around the Elevator. But, something isn’t like it’s supposed to be.<br/><br/>
Someone who isn’t supposed to be there, is standing in front of him.<br/><br/>
MJ.<br/><br/>
MJ is in the elevator.</em><br/><br/>
Where she always that? She stayed on the ground, right? She stayed on the ground…<br/><br/>
<em>The wall of the elevator behind MJ, starts to shake. Before it’s ripped off, by a giant, green monster, that pulls MJ into his hands. Causing MJ to gasp for air. Causing MJ to turns pall, and blue. And then the green monster looks into Peter’s eyes. Something familiar is in those eyes, that Peter can’t quiet place… but what?<br/><br/>
The monster pulls MJ out of the elevator, out into the air. Out just to drop her, into her death. And MJ’s falling, and Peter get’s to he’s feet, and runs to the opening of the elevator, and jumps after MJ. Jumps after his friend. Hoping, begging, to save her.<br/><br/>
Peter falls, hits the ground, and tumbles. Back down onto the battlefield. But something’s in the air, like dust. Like ashes. The smell of death.<br/><br/>
A flash of light fills his eyes, he can’t see. He blinks violently a few times. Water seeps into he’s eyes, making them sting and hurt. In front of him Tony is, broken and bloody. And dying. His heartbeat is-</em> He’s heart is beating faster and faster. Almost popping out of he chest, and he scrambles. A thick soreness filling his throat. <em>“We won Mr. Stark. We won”. But they didn’t win. Tony is dying.<br/><br/>
Dying because of him…<br/><br/>
Peter closes he’s eyes, begging tears to come out of them, </em> But whole his body feels wet, so he don’t know if he’s actually crying or not.<br/><br/>
The pain in his arm returns. He moves his hands searching for the damage. For the wound. But only find something stiff. Something, long leaving his body. Why can’t he see it? And he pulls. He can distantly feels some hot slips down his arm, like blood. But there’s nothing to see.<br/><br/>
<em>Peter let’s a hand fall on the dying Tony’s shoulders. Trying to comfort the man in front of him. His mentor, his family. Tony looks right into his eyes, into the soft brown eyes. Tony pulls his last strength, grabs the hand Peter is holding on his shoulder. A series look fills his eyes. “What if somebody had died tonight? That’s a different story, cause that’s on you”.<br/><br/>
Peter shakes his head, “I… I… I just…”, Peter tries to speak</em>, but it’s like his voice won’t come out, like something blocking it. Keeping it inside. <em>“I just wanted to be like you”. Peter sobs.<br/><br/>
“Growing your abilities are, and with them…” A distant voice sounds, like inside his head. Peter can’t quiet pinpoint it, “… danger”.<br/><br/>
Peter jumps to his feet, looking around him trying to locate the mysteries voice. But finds nothing. </em> Nothing but the tightness of his throat, blocking off his ability to breath. The pressure becomes to much. With desperate quick movements Peter tumbles to his throat with his hands. Fighting against thick, heavy, sluggy movement. And pulls till the pressure leaves. The invisible pressure is pulled out of him.<br/><br/>
<em>Thanos steps into his view, high and tall next to Peter. Closer than before. “That was a mistake”.</em> And suddenly, Peter can’t breathe. With one attempt his lungs, his mouth, his nose if filled with a thick unexplainable liquid that seems to come from nowhere.<br/><br/>
<em>Thanos places a careful hand on Peter’s shoulder. "I know what it's like to lose. To feel so desperately that you're right, yet to fail nonetheless. It's frightening, turns the legs to jelly. I ask you to what end? Dread it. Run from it. Destiny arrives all the same. And now it's here. Or should I say, I am”.<br/><br/>
“I won’t ever let my friends get hurt again!” Peter almost screams at the giant. At Thanos. And with all his strength he guide his fit towards the giant. Hitting him…</em> but there’s glass all around him. And he can’t get out. He’s drowning. And he fights to stay upright in the water. To stay up, and strong. And his first meats the glass. The feeling of splintered glass, that get’s stuck in his knuckles. “We have freeze him! He’s going to break the tank”.<br/><br/>
<em>He’s bleeding. Bleeding, everywhere. But he can’t feel a difference on the liquid and the blood. But Thanos is back, there’s no glass, no tank. “All that for a drop of blood?” Thanos questions with a laugh.<br/><br/>
“I just want to protect myself and my friends”</em> I can’t lose anyone else.<br/><br/>
<em>A small creature. A green creature steps out from behind Thanos. “And this is why, you must be jedi? Hero, you must be?”. It’s the same voice, as the one inside his head.<br/><br/>
“I… Yes. Because… Tony believes I can” Peter replies. Voice small. Breaking<br/><br/>
The creature, Yoda Peter remembers now snaps his fingers. And suddenly, he’s back on the roof. That day. With the ferry. Back to that desperate moment. “Did you know that I was the only one who believed in you? Everyone else though I was crazy to recruit a 14 year old kid”.<br/><br/>
Tony takes a step closer, places a hand on Peter’s shoulder. Tony smiles at him, careful eyes, “Why your doing this? I gotta know, what’s your MO? What get’s you outta that twin bed in the morning?”.<br/><br/>
“When you can do that things, that I can…” Peter takes a breath, “but you don’t… and then, the bad things happen. They happen because of you”.<br/><br/>
“Remember… with great power, comes create responsibility” Ben whispers in his head. In his mind.<br/><br/>
“Good, good” Yoda says, reaching out a hand to Peter, “Ahead of you, a difficult path there is Padawan. Hero, you might yet become. But inside you, much anger, much fear”.<br/><br/>
Yoda leads him to a nearby ship. “I’m not gonna try to train you anymore” Tony says, sitting at the ramp of Ghost. He’s watching a temple guard come closer, lightsaber raised.<br/><br/>
“Stand aside, the boy most be eliminated before he embraces the darkness” The temple guard stands high and strong. No, Steve, Captain stand high and strong. Tony with his saber in front of him. In front of Peter, ready to defend. To protect. Ready to fight with the saber, or with the suit.<br/><br/>
“I wont let that happen” he growls.</em><br/><br/>
“We have to get him out of there. It isn’t safe!” A female voice calls out.<br/><br/>
He keeps fighting against the water. Desperate to get air. To get out.<br/><br/>
<em>“If I only try to teach you, it means I don’t really believe I can succeed” Tony says. Smiling carefully at Peter. “And I wanted you to be better than me. Your going to be the best of us”.</em><br/><br/>
And with another hit at the glass. As more blood flows into his vision, suddenly Peter’s falling. Down, down, down. “I… I can’t breathe” Peter rasps out. Chocking on the ever-existing water that’s3 inside of him.<br/><br/>
<em>“Pete, you gotta let go!” Tony calls to him, “I’m gonna catch you”.</em><br/><br/>
Someone get’s down next to Peter. Places a careful hand, on Peter’s trembling shoulders. “It’s fine. Hey. Calm down”.<br/><br/>
<em>“It’s okay, I got you. Go ahead, let go” Tony reaches out a hand to Peter. And Peter can almost grasp it.</em><br/><br/>
“Peter, just breath. I’m right here” It’s Bruce. Bruce is with him. Right by his side. “Helen, I need that sedative!” Bruce calls over his shoulder.<br/><br/>
<em> “To defeat your enemy, you have to understand them” Ashoka Tano tells him, a careful, strong, powerful hand on his shoulder. Like Gwen. Who’s Gwen?<br/><br/>
“The power to destroy him, is at you command! Now, what else do you desire?” The sith voice tells him. Palpatine tells him.<br/><br/>
“Your anger gives you strength. Gives you focus. You can see things clearly, your friends can not” Peter eyes turns blurry, this doesn’t make sense to him.<br/><br/>
“You’re not the only one cursed with knowledge” Thanos whispers.</em><br/><br/>
“Just breath Peter. Just a little longer. Breath with me” Bruce takes Peter’s bloody hand and places it on his chest. Making his breath deep, to show Peter. To make him copy.<br/><br/>
Helen joins them on the floor, syringe in hand. And before Peter knows it, a cold liquid is pushed into his neck. Pulling him under. Deeper. And he becomes, so… so tired. So weak.<br/><br/>
“Bruce please…” Peter begs. He can’t go under again. But it’s too late.<br/><br/>
<em>“You could not live with your own failure. And where did that bring you?” Thanos it suddenly in front of him, “Back to me”.<br/>
Peter can’t help but ask “will you do it?”.<br/><br/>
Thanos looks at him, “Yes”.<br/><br/>
“But at what cost?” Peter asks. He needs to know. Needs to understand.<br/><br/>
“Everything” Thanos says.<br/><br/>
And everything turns dark…<br/><br/>
Peace in the force…</em><br/><br/>
Nothing…</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Yes, this is totally my favorit chapter. So many good quotes, from both Marvel, Star wars rebels, and... well, that's it? I guess. But I had fun writing this chapter, and I hope you had fun reading it!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0034"><h2>34. I did not wake up today to be average</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The song mentioned is, Dean Lewis with Be Alright. Because, honestly, I imagen Peter would listen to that kind of music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nbtyESXxGO4&amp;ab_channel=7clouds<br/>The other song I mentioned by name, "One day too late" is worth a listen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HNEC735juI4&amp;ab_channel=AragornPk10</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Peter’s awake. Peter’s awake. Peter’s awake.<br/>
<br/>
Tony keeps that though in his head, when he ran out of the lab. When he runs to Pepper, pulls her close, and kisses her on the hair. “Peter just wake up” he smiles at her. And Pepper smiles back with the same happiness and relief that Tony imagens is on his own face.<br/>
<br/>
Because, Peter, his Peter, is awake. Alive. And alone with Bruce at some shield facility.<br/>
<br/>
Tony had been right. Tony knew Peter was waking up. Why did he let Bruce tell him anything else? It had been so clear, and now Tony had to go get his kid.<br/>
<br/>
His kid.<br/>
<br/>
His son.<br/>
<br/>
Bruce hadn’t wanted to give any details as to how Peter where. Had insisted all that could wait, and that Tony was needed right now. And Tony, Tony couldn’t agree more. Because the kid was going to be alright. Going to survive.<br/>
<br/>
“I’ll make Happy get the car ready” Pepper smiles at him, “You go change”.<br/>
<br/>
Tony’s wearing lab cloths. Over sized hoodie, tight jeans, both things covered in dust and oil and a distant smell of coffee and sweat, because it was never cleaned. And while Peter had seen Tony in cloth like this, a million times before, and even more so after he moved in to the compound, it wasn’t cloth to wear at a shield facility. And differently not, a medical shield facility.<br/>
<br/>
Who knew what kind of bacteria that could cover that thing, that would put Peter in even more danger? Tony couldn’t risk that, not when the kid had only just woken up.<br/>
<br/>
So, Tony nods, takes a deep breath and holds Pepper close for just a second, “You’re going too, right?”.<br/>
<br/>
Pepper chuckles lightly as she pulls away, “He’s our son, Tony. Sure, not by blood. But he means just as much to me, as he does to you. Of course, I’m going too. And Happy will come as well. I’m sure”.<br/>
<br/>
Tony just nods again, hands slightly shaking with happiness and nervousness and he starts walking towards his and Pepper’s bedroom. Old bedroom really, as a house had already been made ready in Brooklyn, close to where Rhodey lives, and close to a great school in Queens, that Peter will be attending.<br/>
<br/>
He doesn’t pick anything too fancy. A pair of decent jeans, a t-shirt, and a hoodie over it. But at least, it’s clean. Pepper would be proud.</p><p>***</p><p>Getting in the car, going to the shield medical base, is strange. It’s the second time that day. They had been there, just hours prior, being told there was no change in wouldn’t be in a while. That hadn’t been true.<br/>
<br/>
Happy turns on the radio in the car, for the first time, since Peter entered the coma. Tony hums along carefully, not so loud that Pepper can hear it, but loud enough that’s it’s real.<br/>
<br/>
‘I look up from the ground, to see your sad and teary eyes. You look away from me, and know there’s something your trying hide’ the lyric is well knows to Tony. Not because he’s into the kind of music, but had during lab times with Peter, figure out that kid loved a wide range of music. While the kid did enjoy a good ‘back in black’ by ACDC, and often allowed Tony to just blast their music in the lab, Tony insisted that Peter choose the music once in a while as well.<br/>
<br/>
‘And then you say to me you made a dumb mistake. You start to tremble, and your voice begins to break’. And through those moments, Tony had figure out Peter loved anything from Disney music, likely from his time with Ben and May. To pop, likely from MJ and Ned.<br/>
<br/>
He was pretty sure, there were even some light rock in there too. Skillet, with ‘one day too late’, had at least been played a few times. Though, Tony had a feeling that might be more because of the lyric, than the actual music. Maybe reminding Peter of Ben, and that quotes Peter always seem to talk about, when Ben was brough up as a topic. And maybe, maybe that song was part of the reason, Peter had saved the vulture, that night at homecoming. ‘And I feel the color draining from my face’.<br/>
<br/>
“Boss, are you…” Happy seems to break, not sure if he should say anything at all, “… singing along?”. Tony bits his lips lightly. Happy and Pepper won’t judge him for enjoying a little bit of pop. If they knew where he’d heard it before, they would even understand him. But he says nothing. Just smiles carefully at Pepper and takes her left hands and holds it. “Peter showed this song to me when I picked him up from school, before everything with May. For one of you two’s lab days. I think the song just got out then” Happy continues.<br/>
<br/>
Tony still doesn’t say anything, just sings along a little louder as the course comes around. Because right now it seems so perfect. ‘It’ll be alright’.  </p><p>***</p><p>The base is a mess compared to how it looks earlier in the day. Big parts of the medical bay, was closed off, including the room Peter had been kept in for the past month.<br/>
<br/>
All the staff seem to be tired, a little broken, and stressed.<br/>
<br/>
The room they where lead too, deeper in the facility, where Peter had been placed now. Where just as big of a mess. And looked like someone had put up a med bay in less than 10 minutes. Only the most important things being held there.<br/>
<br/>
Based on Bruce’s and Helen’s faces, and soaked cloth, that might actually have been the case.<br/>
<br/>
But one thing, Tony knows for sure is. That Peter doesn’t seem awake at all. His face isn’t pale anymore. He isn’t in a glass tank. Isn’t connected to all the machines keeping him alive, and breathing. His cloth has been changed. He’s in a gray t-shirt, but he legs is like naked under the hospital blanket. And his face is relaxed. Every muscle in his body calm.<br/>
<br/>
“I though you said he was awake” Tony points out, as with careful steps makes his way towards the hospital bed, Happy and Pepper close behind him.<br/>
<br/>
Bruce takes a deep breath and looks down into the ground. Helen’s, red, wet eyes meet’s Tony’s. “We had to sedate him” Helen says carefully, “He panicked in the tank, got quite a bit of fluids into his lungs” she takes a breath, then sighs. “It wasn’t pretty Tony, but he’s okay”.<br/>
<br/>
Tony shakes his head, “You said it would be okay  if he woke in the tank?”.<br/>
<br/>
Helen nods, “Yes, we though it would at least. And we really don’t know what happened” she shakes her head, “reminded me of a panic attack. There might be, some unknown trauma with water or small spaces, that we didn’t know about”.<br/>
<br/>
“We made a note in the system though” Bruce jumps in, “Nothing like this will ever happen again. And if it does, we’ll be prepared. Maybe even take him out early”.<br/>
<br/>
Tony can feel his hands starts to shake again. Peter is okay, he reminds himself. But, he should have known that kid would react badly to being in the tank. The water, the small space. The river, the building. It was barely a year ago it happened. Tony just hadn’t realized that Peter was affected by it. Didn’t realize that Peter was like him. Broken, and in need of help.<br/>
<br/>
Well, that was a lie. Peter did see Dr. Brown. And she hadn’t ever though PTSD was a thing. Eating disorder, maybe. But PTSD had been ruled out pretty fast.<br/>
<br/>
At least until Skip. Steven.<br/>
<br/>
Tony should have known.<br/>
<br/>
Tony shakes his head, pulling deeps breaths into his lungs. “But didn’t the sedative you guys created for him, cause whole this thing in the first place?” he asks.<br/>
<br/>
“It did” Bruce confirms, “That’s why we used the drug developed for Hulk. It wont keep him out for long, with his metabolism being twice as fast as mine, at least. But it keep him out, long enough for us to clear his lungs and get him settled a little more comfortable”.<br/>
<br/>
Helen nods, looking at he notepad. “We won’t use the sedative we created for him, again, before we have figure out what caused this in the first place”.</p><p>***</p><p>Bruce and Helen are right, it doesn’t take long before the sedative wears off, and Peter opens his eyes. Smiling carefully at Tony. And Tony smiles back.<br/>
<br/>
Pepper and Happy had gone to get some coffee for the three of them, while Helen and Bruce did a last check up on Peter, now that he where awake. Making sure there were no brain damage, or anything that in some way seemed off. But it really didn’t take long before Peter was given a clean bill of health, and green light to return home, later that day. With a promise of no Spider-man, and no too big lab projects for a few weeks, at least.<br/>
<br/>
And while they where there anyways, they had asked questions about what Peter could remember from that faithful night. Which wasn’t actually a lot.<br/>
<br/>
And when Tony asked what Peter remembered from waking up in the tank, Peter breath had hitched, and he seemed to once again panic. But he assured Tony that it wasn’t the water or the tight space.<br/>
<br/>
“I still don’t understand what caused that reactions” Bruce says as he and Helen finished up. “While the original symptoms pointed at an overdoes… that doesn’t quiet make any sense if you only took one pill” Bruce pulls out information on the tablet. “One of those pills where just supposed to help you fall asleep. You’d need 5 times that does, to actually knock you out”.<br/>
<br/>
“You sure you only took one?” Helen asks. Something that seem like fear, clear in her voice.<br/>
<br/>
Peter nods, “Only one pill. Yeah. You did warn me to be careful. It was untested, you weren’t sure what kind of side effects it could cause”.<br/>
<br/>
Helen chuckles lightly, relief floats her face, the shoulders sink slightly. “And I though Tony said you never listened to him”.<br/>
<br/>
Peter laughs, something Tony has missed for a long month since the kid feel into a coma. Maybe even longer. The kid had been quieter, after May. Even if it was months ago. “But that’s Tony, teens are supposed to ignore their parents. You’re my doctor, Mrs. Cho. That’s different”.<br/>
<br/>
“I supposed your right about that” Bruce chuckles, “And while it might have been untested before, we had a lot of spare time looking after you. A few simulated tests, based on your mutated DNA, and we aren’t any closer to figure it out”.<br/>
<br/>
Peter seems to think for a moment before he looks to Bruce and Helen. “Maybe it’s not the drug itself” he says, “Maybe…” Peter shrugs, “… it might sound stupid. But what if there’s nothing wrong with the drug, but with the pills?”.<br/>
<br/>
Bruce shakes his head, “While I supposed that could be, I highly doubt it” he says. Sounding almost hurt, that Peter could ever think anything like that. “The pill shell where created by calcium. That’s found in milk. And Peter, you might be a spider, but milk wouldn’t put you into a coma”.<br/>
<br/>
“Though…” Helen adds, “Medication taste awful, I’m sure we all know that”. Everyone gives a quiet nod, “Taste even worse, because of just how high of a does Peter would need for it too work” Helen continues,  “Steve always request some taste, that we add through natural oils so it won’t effect how the medication works. And we did that too with your pills. Though like I side, it’s natural oils, nobody has ever been hurt by those”.<br/>
<br/>
Something on Peter’s face seem to click. “Peppermint” he says.<br/>
<br/>
Helen nods, “Yes. We did use natural oils, from Peppermint. Because of the sharp taste, it works great to hide the taste of the medication”.<br/>
<br/>
“You once said there were a chance, I wasn’t done mutating, right?” Helen gives a quiet nod to confirm what Peter is talking about. “Peppermint… is a spider repellent”. And suddenly Tony knows where Peter is taking this as well.<br/>
<br/>
“You think this might be an allergic reaction” it isn’t a question. It’s a statement. A fact. “Kid. You can’t be normal, can you?”.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Someone wanted details about what caused Peter to fall into a coma. I had done my thoughts of curse, but wanted to lead my readers to a different conclusion. Though I do think, Peppermint where fun. :D</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0035"><h2>35. If you have a heartbeat there’s still time for your dreams</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm sorry?</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Tony said they where going home, Peter pictured the compound. The compound had been his home, ever since May died. Had been the place he built a new family, got new friends. The place where his life changed. And, therefore, the compound would always be home to Peter.<br/>
<br/>
Like the Queens apartment, always would be home to Peter. And just like the little neighborhood house, where Peter lived with his Parents. Not too far, from Ben and May.<br/>
<br/>
Driving to Brooklyn, getting into the house, next to Rhodey’s. That wasn’t what Peter though of as home, but hopefully it would be soon enough. It would just take a little time to figure out the new routine.<br/>
<br/>
Of course, there were a somewhat big garage for cars. Both Tony’s and Happy’s. And connected to the garage, where a pretty big basement, that included a lab. Smaller than what was at the compound. But around the same size as the science labs at midtown high. Only difference where the fact that Peter and Tony where two people, with minor visits from Pepper, Happy, Rhodey or other Avengers. At midtown high, they where 25 people, in a small class. 35 or more, in a bigger class.<br/>
<br/>
The kitchen, Peter could guess, was a combined idea from Happy and Pepper. It was modern, bright, and directly connected to the living room. With a smaller dining table, as well as kitchen island.<br/>
<br/>
Though, of course there were a dining room, for when they where more people. Or for special nights, where the kitchen, just wasn’t good enough.<br/>
<br/>
The living room was very similar to the kitchen. Modern. Big TV, multiple game consoles, good sound system, big couches. It looked great. It looked lived in, with a few plants in the windows, the newspaper on the TV table, and a few books that Peter knows Pepper loves, are placed in a small bookcase. Not in any specific order. It looks, and feels lived in.<br/>
<br/>
And somehow, the style doesn’t surprise Peter, all that much. It’s different from the compound, that’s for sure. The compound as created to house a team of superheroes. It’s not the Queens apartment, that had been old, rundown maybe.<br/>
<br/>
But really, Peter feels like he’s been here before. Even though he knows he haven’t.<br/>
<br/>
His bedroom is upstairs, with a connected bathroom. It’s quiet like his room at the compound, but more, homy. Less fancy.<br/>
<br/>
The floor is a dark wood, walls a matching dark blue. And up the walls, over the winds, there are red bumps and sticks he can use to climb or for web building. There’s a nice double bed against one of the walls, a good desk and office chair, bookcase, a small TV table with an Xbox. A small Alex speaker type thing, on the night table, probably connected to Friday or Karen. Maybe both?<br/>
<br/>
And hanging from the loft, is his swinging chair. Just like at the compound.<br/>
<br/>
The bathroom is smaller than the one at the compound. But it still has the same things. Big mirror, shower and tube, first aid kit. So on, so forth.<br/>
<br/>
It feels more like a teenage room, than what he had at the compound.<br/>
<br/>
Pepper and Tony’s room are right down the hall, and in between is Happy’s room. And then there’s a small guest room downstairs. </p><p>***</p><p>The following Monday when Peter and Happy sits in the fancy car. Peter’s backpack on the seat next to him, headphone hanging from his shirt, they don’t drive to midtown high.<br/>
<br/>
Tony had during Peter’s time in the coma, found out about everything with Ned and MJ. He had apologized more times than Peter could count, even after Peter had reassured him, that he and his friends had been losing contact way before the incident during extra practice at decathlon. Honestly, they hadn’t really talked at all since December. Since the night on the roof followed by May fainting in the small apartment.<br/>
<br/>
No, this morning, he and Happy where going to a private school in Queens. Whitestone Academy.<br/>
<br/>
Peter had looked the school up. While Whitestone Academy wasn’t quiet a stem school, like Peter was used too, that wasn’t the main point of it either. The smaller size was perfect for Peter special case. Open to all kinds of people, from all parts of the world.<br/>
<br/>
The curses that was offered, weren’t bad either. Similar to midtown, the school had a focus on kid’s with talents and potentials. Meaning, that in both science and math, Peter could get AP classes, just like at midtown high. He could still get Spanish classes, and while Peter hadn’t taken computer science at midtown, he would do so, at Whitestone Academy.<br/>
<br/>
And most importantly, no uniforms. Peter had been relieved to hear that.<br/>
<br/>
It was disappointing, that he couldn’t do decathlon at Whitestone Academy, Though. He would have thought that to be something everybody wanted, but it seems he was wrong.<br/>
<br/>
At least, it would save him the trouble of competing against midtown.<br/>
<br/>
Pulling up in front of the school building, was… scary to say the least. He hadn’t been new anywhere since midtown, and there he had already known Ned and Flash. Even if Flash had been a dig back then, it had been nice to have him around. A face he knew. A person that knew him.<br/>
<br/>
Now, he didn’t know anyone. But everyone knew him. At least, everyone knew Tony Stark had adopted him, after his aunt and last living relative, had died.<br/>
<br/>
Were people going to judge him based on that?<br/>
<br/>
The front entrance, and the hallways, and the office, where all good looking. Very similar to midtown high. Both in size, but also with the same kind of lockers, in the same, blue color.<br/>
<br/>
Happy carefully stayed by Peter’s side as they entered the office.<br/>
<br/>
“Good morning! How may I help you two?” A young woman asked from behind the office reception. She gave them both careful smiles. Happy steps in front of Peter and gives the woman a handshake.<br/>
<br/>
“Good morning to you too” Happy says, “We where told to come here when we arrived. I’m Happy Hogan, Mr. Stark bodyguard. I’m here to drop of Peter Parker Stark”.<br/>
<br/>
The woman pulls up something on the computer and gives a careful nod. “Yes, the transfer kid from Midtown high? We got the files just a few days ago. It’s nice to meet both if you. I’m Ava” She get’s to her feet and moves closer to Peter and Happy. “I’ll show you your classroom and introduce you to you start up partner. Then if you have any questions you can ask her, your teacher, or come to me here at the office. How does that sound?”.<br/>
<br/>
Peter nods, “That… sounds great” he says, carefully. Voice breaking.<br/>
<br/>
Happy pads him on the shoulder and gives a small smile before leaving. “Call me if you need anything. And I mean, ANYTHING. Alright?”. Peter gives a nod. Happy leaves. And Peter followed Ava through the halls.<br/>
<br/>
“Your class should have study hall now. That will make it quiet a lot easier to introduce you to your start up partner” Ava says with a lightness in her voice.<br/>
<br/>
Peter nods. “Uhm… what’s a start up partner?”.<br/>
<br/>
Ava places a careful hand on Peter’s shoulder, as she guides him through the hallway. “A start up partner, is a student who knows Whitestone Academy well. That can help you find you way around or get into a good group. It’s a helping hand, and a lot of our transfer students finds it comforting”.<br/>
<br/>
Peter gives a quiet nod, as they walk into the library where a few students Peter age are sitting and working. Chatting about schoolwork, but also about other stuff. That party they all went to, that big event they should go to together.<br/>
<br/>
Peter can’t help but wonder if they ever talk about Superheroes, or if they don’t find them cool at all. If they ever built Lego and watch Star Wars. If they like science like himself.<br/>
<br/>
In the back of the library, is sitting two girls. One of them with blond hair, set up in a messy bun. Her computer open in front of her, writing notes about something on a notepad next to her hand. By her side a girl with dark brown hair, and glass are sitting. A book in her hands, that Peter has read himself. The Martian.<br/>
<br/>
Ave guides him over to them. “Morning girl, as any of you seen Echo?”.<br/>
<br/>
The girls look up in greeting to Ava. They both gives a happy nod, and a smile in Peter’s way, before the blond answers. “Yeah, she went to grab something from her locker. She should be back any minute now”.<br/>
<br/>
Ava smiles, “Peter would you mind waiting here for a minute? I’ll go find Echo”. Before Peter can even answer Ava has left him with the two girls. Though, it doesn’t take long before Ava returns, a girl around Peter’s age with her.<br/>
<br/>
“Hey, you must be Peter” A red hair girl shakes his hand “Welcome to Whitestone Academy, I’m Echo and I’ll be your chemistry and start up partner for the next few weeks till you make some friends!”. The girl, Echo seems happy. Nice, and kind. Her green eyes are shining with passion. The hoodie tight around her waist, and backpack hanging loosely over her left shoulder, makes her seem young. A bit like Peter himself.<br/>
<br/>
“It’s nice to meet you” Peter greets.<br/>
<br/>
Echo guides him to a nearby, empty table.</p><p>***</p><p>“Wait a second” Peter says, “Your saying that Cal Kestis from Jedi Fallen Order, don’t have force slow, but just moves really fast?”. Peter and Echo Easily feel into conversation. With Peter being a Star Wars fan and in love with science, and Echo being the same way, it wasn’t really hard.<br/>
<br/>
After study hall, they had, had a chemistry class, and was now eating lunch in the cafeteria.<br/>
<br/>
Echo nods. “I mean, there’s no prof of it. But it makes sense if we look at the science”.<br/>
<br/>
“Then why call it force slow?” Peter askes, “Why not, I don’t know, force speed? Wouldn’t that be more accurate, then?”.<br/>
<br/>
“Possibly because to the user, it looks like everything else becomes slower?” Echo shrugs.<br/>
<br/>
“And the science in it?” Peter takes a bit of his chicken, bacon, sandwich, “How do you explain it? We don’t even know how the force works!”.<br/>
<br/>
Echo nods, “That is true. But we do know about midi-chlorians”<br/>
<br/>
“Like that explains anything” Peter shoots back at Echo. “Midi-chlorians is what gives jedi their powers. They aren’t real. It’s fiction”.<br/>
<br/>
“That actually isn’t true. Midi-chlorians is in everyone, but force sensitive individual have a higher count” Echo sips of her milk. “It helps connect with the force, it isn’t the force itself”.<br/>
<br/>
“So?” Peter asks.<br/>
<br/>
Echo shakes her head, “What does we all have inside of us, that, just like midi-chlorians, is important for life?”.<br/>
<br/>
“You think mitochondria is what midi-chlorians is based on?” Peter’s eyes widen, “And so people with a higher count like athletes, can do things we, as normal people can’t? And that, people who’s force sensitive, just, has more mitochondria. So, instead of it being force slow, it’s force speed. Kinda like…” Peter shrugs “… like bullet time in the matrix?”.<br/>
<br/>
Echo nods quickly. “Yes! Exactly! Or like, the spidey-sense that people theories Spider-man has”.<br/>
<br/>
Peter doesn’t get a chance to think about that or say anything to it. Because just like that his spidey sense are triggered. A loud noise can be heard from outside, as someone closer to the windows seems to almost panic and run away loudly screaming that their all going to die.<br/>
<br/>
Peter carefully allows his super hearing to reach out. He can hear the frightened heartbeats of the students all in whole the building. Of the people playing football in the school’s field. Of every person through Queens, and as he reaches future most of Manhattan and Brooklyn too.<br/>
<br/>
He can even hear Ned and MJ’s heart rate pick up. He knows them, so their easy to find in the middle of all the other hearts.<br/>
<br/>
But that isn’t what he’s listing for. Not at all.<br/>
<br/>
And what he finds, scares him.<br/>
<br/>
He had heard it before. That was for sure. The specific heartbeat and the sound of the ship was not something you heard every day. But Peter knew it, because he had been actively listing for it since that first night he heard it at the compound. When it had finally gotten close enough, for Peter’s sense to catch it.<br/>
<br/>
After the coma it had, seem oddly quiet. Like maybe they where gone. Returned to wherever they had originally been, and never gotten close to earth.<br/>
<br/>
But if he’s theory was right, then maybe… what he saw during the coma hadn’t been a dream like he first though. Maybe- <em>I ask you to what end? Dread it. Run from it. Destiny arrives all the same. And now it's here. Or should I say, I am.</em> The words echo’s in Peter’s mind.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Infinity war is open on disney +, ready for a rewatch. And for my keyboard is plugged in, ready for some fanfiction writing. If I give it my all, I'll have the finishing chapters, of NBB, ready within the next 36 hours. That means, daily posting very soon. <br/>I'd like to once again point out, there NBB (Not By Blood), is part of a series. So if you are enjoying NBB and want more, or wants to see what happens earlier on? Here is a link for the series: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1775335<br/>Go follow it, so you don't miss out when I start to post the next part of the series. <br/>This is an amazing project, and it's far from done.</p><p>And to all my amazing long time readers, or commenters... keep your eyes open. There's be a little... surprise in NBB!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0036"><h2>36. I believe getting together is the easy part, it’s stay together that’s hard</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Yes, here's another chapter to the nerds, who just like me has to keep going :P Because, damn... I'm the one writing it, and I can't wait to see where things go next!</p>
<p>Wait a minute, did AO3 get an update?<br/>In the amazing place, where we put the actually chapters of the story, it now seems like we actually get to see what out commands like, br /<br/>,em, strong, does. Which is cool! I needed that really bad.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>With Peter out of the house, and Pepper and Tony having a chance to sleep in after everything that had happened, Tony took it. Why wouldn’t he? And Pepper did too.<br/>
<br/>
Peter had seem to relax when they had stepped into the house. It wasn’t what he was used to, but Pepper and Tony could both see the calmness in his face, as he had sat down at the dining table that night and gotten some of Happy’s famous potato pizza.<br/>
<br/>
Sending him off to a new school was going to go, just as well.<br/>
<br/>
At least, so Tony hoped.<br/>
<br/>
“Do you how your having a dream, and in that dream… you gotta pee?” Tony asks suddenly out into the air, as they lay in the nice hot bed. Holding Pepper close. Pepper hums in understanding. “And there’s no bathroom, and like, what am I gonna do?”.<br/>
<br/>
Pepper turns around on Tony’s grip, her blue eyes meet his brown. “And then you wake up, and in real life you actually have to pee?”. Tony nods. “Yeah? Everybody has that”.<br/>
<br/>
“Apropos that…” Tony sighs, “I had a dream. I dreamt we had a kid. It was so real”.<br/>
<br/>
Pepper smiles carefully at him, “So you woke up and though that we were… expecting?”. Tony nods carefully. “Yeah… no. If you wanted to have a kid, you wouldn’t have done that” she says and taps the nano tech holder on his chest. But there’s no real madness to it. Not real fire. She smiles in a way, Tony can’t really read. Something’s in her eyes. “And, you already have a kid. A nice son. Who just woke up from a coma. Do you think a little sister is a good idea right now? With everything else that’s happening. New house, new school”.<br/>
<br/>
“I didn’t specific a gender” Tony says, serious filling his eyes. “Is there, something you’re not telling me?”.<br/>
<br/>
Pepper smiles and shakes her head. “No, Tony. We don’t even have a wedding date yet”.<br/>
<br/>
Before they can say anything, else Thor is knocking on their door.<br/>
<br/>
When Thor shows up in front of Tony’s door, he knows something isn’t right. That something either has happened or is about to happen. Thor wouldn’t show up without warning, unless that was the case.<br/>
Not that Tony and Thor couldn’t be friends. Hell, Tony wanted to look at Thor like a friend. But if Thor came just to be friendly and ask how he was doing, it wouldn’t be with that hurt and broken look on his face. Without a hammer in his hands. And without Loki by his side.<br/>
<br/>
Because the two had gotten close. After everything with their sister, with Loki dying, and then not being dead. They had gotten really close.<br/>
<br/>
Tony knew. He’d seen it himself when they came to the compound at late night, when Tony was the only one awake.<br/>
<br/>
Something was differently wrong.<br/>
<br/>
That was confirmed when Tony was pushed in through a door in an old building in the middle of New York. Decorated in an almost medieval style. And inside was a hell of dust, old books and artifacts. With rest of the Avengers team, and a ‘wizard’ already waiting inside.<br/>
<br/>
“At the dawn of the universe, there was nothing… Then” A small boom sounds, and echo’s through the building, “The big band sent six elemental crystals hurling across the virgin universe. These infinity stone, each control an essential aspect of existence” on of the two wizards starts explaining. Wong, if Tony remembers correctly. The other one being Dr. Stephen Strange.<br/>
<br/>
Their magical illusion is floating in the air, above the team. Steve, Bruce, Natasha, Thor, Clint and himself. The originals. But also Falcon, T'challa and his younger sister Shuri, Rhodey, and last, but not least, Bucky.<br/>
<br/>
Of course, Wanda and Vision is missing. Had disappeared from earth surface, during Peter’s coma. And while Tony knew he probably should have looked for them, just to make sure they where safe, he hadn’t gotten around to it. Yet. But now, looking at the Yellow stone in the illusion… that might change that.<br/>
<br/>
And Peter. Peter was missing too. Likely didn’t know about any of this. And really, didn’t have to. This wasn’t neighborhood related. This was about earth. About the universe.<br/>
<br/>
Peter shouldn’t be pulled into this.<br/>
<br/>
Strange nodded at the stone, as the lit up one by one as he went over them. “Space. Reality. Power. Soul. Mind. And Time” he said, opening his magical neckless to reveal the green stone.<br/>
<br/>
They had encountered some of the stones before. Of course, most importantly the mind stone, that had created Vision. And had given Wanda her abilities. The stone that had been inside of Loki’s scepter.<br/>
<br/>
The space stone had been inside the tesseract, that shield had attempted to create weapons with. Find at the bottom of the sea, in the search for Steve.<br/>
<br/>
And Thor had encountered the reality stone before. Aether.<br/>
<br/>
They all knew about the great power, that the stones held one by one. Knew about what even two of them together could do. They had seen it, fought it, back in 2012. Tony still had nightmares about that. And that was also when he’d realized for the first time, that something bigger than them, was coming. Something they couldn’t defeat.<br/>
<br/>
“Tell me his name again” Tony asks Thor who has been quiet since they got there.<br/>
<br/>
Thor takes a deep breath. “Thanos. His name is Thanos. He invades planets, he takes what he wants! He wipes out half the population… He… he sent Loki… The attack on New York? That was him! And now my brother is dead…” a sob escapes Thor as he says the last part.<br/>
<br/>
Really, non of it is a surprise to Tony. He had know there where something more. But now… that it’s confirmed. That makes things a lot more real. “This is it” Tony sighs, “What’s our timeline?”.<br/>
<br/>
“No telling” Thor shakes his head, “He already has two stone. Power, and space. It makes him the strongest creature in the whole universe. If he get’s all six, he becomes unstoppable”.<br/>
<br/>
“If Thanos needs all six, then why don’t we just destroy those we already have access to?” Tony askes. He isn’t actually sure he wants to know the answer to that. There’s a reason, the time stone is protected in the neckless, by a wizard and his wizard friend. And thing usually aren’t as easy as to just, throw the problem away, down into the garbage. But if there were a chance, they should take it.<br/>
<br/>
Strange shakes his head. “Thanos is already too powerful. If he comes to earth, which is will, he needs the stones, the time stone might be our best chance of stopping him”.<br/>
<br/>
“That isn’t important right now anyways” Steve jumps in, “What is important is that we know where two of the six stones are. The time stone, right here. And the mind stone. Vision got it. So we just have to protect them from Thanos to the best of our abilities”.<br/>
<br/>
“Uhm, about that” Tony looks a little down into the ground, “Vision and Wanda is gone. Turned of the transponder three weeks ago”.<br/>
<br/>
Clint looks to Tony, “You lost another superbot?!”.<br/>
<br/>
“I… I didn’t lose him. He’s more than that. He’s evolving!” Tony defends Vision.<br/>
<br/>
“Do I really need to remind you of Ultron? Of what he did?” Steve stands up high. “Or about the Stark expo, in… what was it? 2010? Tony this isn’t okay. This isn’t something you can just take lightly!”.<br/>
<br/>
“Well, nothing of this would have happened if you had just listened” Tony argues back. “I told you about the endgame. About what was coming! And you went out to save your best friend while we could have created a plan!”.<br/>
<br/>
Steve shakes his head, “So this is my fault? How would you have protected earth from magical stones, build a shield?”.<br/>
<br/>
“Maybe, that wouldn’t have been such a bad idea” Tony and Steve are face to face now. Tony ready to active the suit, and Steve ready to throw a punch. But Natasha is in between then more another word is said. Before they get a chance to attack.<br/>
<br/>
Natasha places a hand on each of them, forcing them away from each other. “This is what I was trying to prevent when I took contact to Peter” Natasha sighs, “We don’t have a chance against this thing on our own. We need to stand together!”.<br/>
<br/>
“We’re the Avengers. We can bust arms dealers all the livelong day, but that up there… that’s…” Tony shakes his head, “That’s the endgame. We can’t fight that”.<br/>
<br/>
“Yes we can” Bucky says stepping forwards, “together”.<br/>
<br/>
Tony shakes his head, “We’ll lose”.<br/>
<br/>
Steve nods, “Well, then we’ll do that, together too”.<br/>
<br/>
“And if we die?” Tony asks.<br/>
<br/>
Natasha smiles carefully, letting her hands down from Steve and Tony, “Then we’ll fight another day. Because we owe it, to everyone who’s not there to try”.<br/>
<br/>
“Alright” Tony sighs, “Together”. He places his hand out, palm down, Steve places his on top. Then Bucky, Natasha, Clint, Thor, Wong, Strange, Shuri, T’challa, Sam, Bruce and Rhodey. Together they all lifts their hands and should “Together”.<br/>
<br/>
They cut off by a shift. A sound. Noise. That no of them can explain. Strang’s hair is dancing in the wind, as the sound grows louder, and louder. Tony looks to the wizard. “You wouldn’t happen to be movie your hair right now or making the noise with your magical powers?”.<br/>
<br/>
Strange shakes his head, “Not at the moment”.<br/>
<br/>
They all turn towards the door, as screams starts to emerge from outside. Through the tinted glass windows in the door, all they can see it chaos. And as they move closer to the door, the screams become louder, and louder, and louder. Until whole the team is standing in the now open door, watching the chaos unfold as people run from their cars. Runs for their lives. As they scream, and holds their kids closer to their chest, in hopes to save them from whatever is coming their way. From whatever darkness this is.<br/>
<br/>
Tony, unlike everybody else, starts to run the other way. Runs towards it. With the team hot on his heals, as they figure out what is making everyone run for their lives.<br/>
<br/>
A giant, donut formed, ship is hovering close to the ground of New York Cities streets. New papers is flying through the air, being pushed and force away from the ship, where it hovers. Their out of time, doesn’t have a chance of finding Vision and Wanda to protect that mind stone.<br/>
<br/>
All they can do now, is fight.<br/>
<br/>
“Avengers…” Steve looks to the others “as-“ Tony’s phone starts to make a sound. It louder, and annoying. Like it’s supposed to be.<br/>
<br/>
Tony turns from rest of the team, as he swipes his finger how the screen. “Hey kiddo. Everything alright?”. He already knows the answer. The ship can be seen miles away, and Peter is only in Queens. It’s not very far.<br/>
<br/>
“Tony. OMG! Have you seen the ship. It’s like, giant. We can see it all the way here” Peter starts to ramble in his classic rambling way.<br/>
<br/>
Tony sighs “Peter I need you to do me a favor” he says over the phone. He can’t see Peter, but he know Peter will do anything to help. To save people. But this isn’t for him to do. “Stay away. Get yourself, and your friends to safety if you need to do anything. Get to the compound and stay there. This is not up for discussion”.<br/>
<br/>
He can feel the disappointment over the phone. “But Mr. Stark” Tony’s hearts aces as they return to the formalities. “I can’t just sit around and do nothing!”.<br/>
<br/>
“Kid, you’re the one who wanted to stay close to the ground” Tony carefully reminds him, “Be a friendly neighborhood Spider-man. Swing around Queens. Stop a rapist, save a cat”.<br/>
<br/>
“But how can I be a friendly neighborhood spider-man if there’s no neighborhood?” And that’s a good question. He can’t. And Tony isn’t sure, Queens will survive this attack. He isn’t sure any of New York will. But how do you break those new to a 16 year old, who has lost too much already?<br/>
<br/>
“I… I’ll make sure there’s a neighborhood when your done recovering Peter” Tony reassure him. Hoping it’s true. “I’m locking down your suit. Don’t get any ideas. We got this, Peter. We got this”.<br/>
<br/>
“At least…” Peter’s voice breaks, “Tell me who it is… what is wants. I… I need to know”. Tony bits his lip for a minute. He could lie, Peter doesn’t need to know. He isn’t a part of this. Telling him might even cause him to fight despite Tony’s wishes.<br/>
<br/>
But not saying anything either… in the case something goes wrong. Which it will. Wouldn’t be okay either.<br/>
<br/>
“He calls himself Thanos… he” Tony takes a deep breath, “wants to kill half the universe”.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Just like I reminded you last chapter, I'd like to do it again. To make sure everyone is aware of it.<br/>Not By Blood, is part 2 of a longer series. But while Not By Blood is soon coming to an end, it isn't the end of the story. So, make sure to follow the series, so you wont miss out on where the story goes next!!!</p>
<p>Also, damn. It's so amazing how some of you guys have already slowly seemed to figure out some of my major plot points, that I haven't confirmed yet. It's so cool to see your theories, and ideas. I might not use them, but I'll see if I can somehow fit it in. If not in the story I'm already writing, then it will at least be thrown on my idea list, for later use.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0037"><h2>37. Nothing is impossible, the word itself say “I’m possible”</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>As I'm diving deeper, and deeper into the stories finale arc, I don't only feel inspired to write NBB. I feel inspired to write Echo.<br/>I already have a plan for Echo, not just an my OC character, but a whole storyline, including her in the main cast. Which, I hope you guys wont mind in the future! :D I'm having a tone of fun. And I see that you guys, enjoy this too.<br/>Thanks!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“He calls himself Thanos… he” Peter can clearly hear Tony taking a deep breath on the other end of the call, but rest of it is muted to Peter. Thanos? Thanos, as in Thanos killing half the universe with a snap of his fingers. And Tony wants to lock Peter’s suit down, so he can’t help. Wants him to run, from something that Peter knows, Tony won’t make it out if in the end. Because Tony will snap. Tony will die. And then Beck will come. And-<br/>
<br/>
Peter doesn’t even know how he knows it. But he does. He’s seen it. Lived it already.<br/>
<br/>
His sense allow him to hear the battle start. He can hear the repulses of the Iron man suit. Can hear the metal again metal from Captain’s shield. He can hear every scared New York. He can hear Pepper begging for Tony not to go on the ship. To come home.<br/>
<br/>
And Peter knows, Tony won’t listen. Not this time. So he knows what he has to do. He has to get on that ship. No matter the cost. Because, Peter has heard it. The heartbeat.<br/>
<br/>
Echo is standing up, backpack hanging on her back, one of the straps tightly held in her hand with her phone in the other placed against her ear. She had pulled it out, at the same time as Peter called Tony. But Peter had been too focused on what was going on outside, to hear what Echo said.<br/>
<br/>
“Just please tell me you can get home safely” Echo sighs, “Well I don’t know where else to go. Do you?”. Echo takes a deep breath, passing back and forth in front of the windows. “Eh… yes I’m with that friends of yours. Peter. He started today. Why does that matter?” Somethings being said on the other end of the phone call. Peter knows that, but he doesn’t know what.<br/>
<br/>
Echo lifts her gaze, suddenly staring at Peter with wide eyes and disbelief. “Flash, you’re kidding me, right?” she doesn’t remove her eyes from Peter, “Well, yes. I guess so. Alright. Alright! Yes. Just. Give me a moment? Good, thanks”.<br/>
<br/>
“You know Flash?” Peter asks as Echo pulls the phone away from her ear. She gives a quiet nod.<br/>
<br/>
“My parents take in Foster kids. Flash was placed with us, just a few weeks ago” She sighs, “and… he says your Spider-man”.<br/>
<br/>
Peter shakes his head lightly, it’s not a no. It’s just filled with disappointment. “So much for keeping a secret identity” Peter chuckles lightly. “But I can’t do anything against that” he points towards the ship, “Tony locked down my suit. Without that, I’m pretty lost. Don’t even have any web shooters”.<br/>
<br/>
Echo seems to think for a moment, before again lifting the phone to her ear. “Can you meet me at Horizon? You know, that place I got an internship!” Echo nods “Alright great. See you soon”. Echo turns to Peter, “If we can get to my lab area at Horizon, I might be able to hack to suit for you. If you want?”.<br/>
<br/>
Peter nods quickly. With passion and relief. If Echo can hack into the suit, then, Peter might have a chance to help. “Yes! Oh my god yes. Can you do that?”. Echo just laughs at him. </p><p>***</p><p>“We need a plan for us to take that thing down. To protect earth. Any ideas” Tony puts the phone back in his pocket, hoping that Peter won’t do anything stupid before Tony get’s a chance to get to him. Before Tony can get him, and Pepper to safety.<br/>
<br/>
Steve swallows hard, staring at the ship that’s destroying more of the city for every second, where they aren’t fighting. “We need to protect the stone from Thanos. That means, find Vision and get Strange out of here”.<br/>
<br/>
“I’m not running away” Strange shakes his head, “I’ll fight till the end”.<br/>
<br/>
Tony sighs, “If that’s how it is Doc. Steve, you take your team. Find Vision, remove the stone. Wanda, have to destroy it. Without the mind stone, Thanos can’t finish this plan of his. Natasha, Rhodey, Clint, your with me. We have to get people away from the street and we have to get that ship away too!”.<br/>
<br/>
“Tony your forgetting something” Bruce points out, “how the hell do you get that ship away?”.<br/>
<br/>
That’s a good question. The chance that they can shot it, or blow it up, is slim. It wouldn’t be a good option anyways. Too much damage to the city. The fewer lives in danger, the better. Tony can’t take the chance of killing one person, just to destroy a spaceship. At least, not one normal person. A hero would be different.<br/>
<br/>
If he somehow got on the ship, he would be able to fly it away from earth. And destroy it, in space. Where no one else would be in danger. But the chance of him getting onboard without being seen would be smile. And Thanos, wouldn’t have a reason to meet up with his ship again.<br/>
<br/>
It would be broken and destroyed. And it wouldn’t have what he’s seeking. He’d get to earth before Steve’s team could get Vision and Wanda. Before the mind stone could be destroyed.<br/>
<br/>
“We give them what he wants” Tony says, “Doc and I, has to get on board that ship. But it has to seem like, they caught us. Then we see where the ship takes us, keeps Thanos away from earth as long as we possibly can. That gives you time”.<br/>
<br/>
“Tony, that’s suicide!” Steve voice breaks, “You won’t make it back alive. Then what about Pepper, and Peter? How do you think they’ll feel?” Steve’s hands start to shake. “Tony, you can’t do that to them”.<br/>
<br/>
Tony looks to Dr. Strange, looking for any indication of what he thinks about the idea. This does include him getting captured, for it to work. With a nod from the man Tony sighs, “I’m doing this to protect them. Steve. I don’t think I got a choice here”.</p><p>***</p><p>Getting on the ship, turns out to be quite easy. The moment Dr. Strange has been bond up, with magical ropes, that Tony doesn’t understand, and the Alien has him on board, the ship leaves. And Tony follows. Hides in one of the coroner’s, hoping they will make it home again.<br/>
<br/>
Pepper, of course, isn’t very happy about it. There’s screaming for minutes, before they get to far away from earth, to have any signal.<br/>
<br/>
If Tony had called Peter is those last moments before leaving earth for good, he might have cried. It was only day’s ago, his kid had woken up from a god forsaken coma. An allergic reaction to peppermint. And now, Tony left him. On earth. Without knowing if he’d ever return. And if he did, he wouldn’t know if that was as the winner, or as the loser.<br/>
<br/>
As the winner, it might not matter at all. It would just have been another battle where the Avengers got the upper hand, and mostly, everyone survived.<br/>
<br/>
Losing, would be so much worse. Not because of the fact half the universe would be dead, but because of what Tony could lose. What the kid, could lose. Tony didn’t know if he’d make it him. If Pepper would be alright. If Peter would make it out. There was no way of telling either. Not until is was too late. And by that time, Tony wouldn’t be able to do anything about it.<br/>
<br/>
Unless he broke the laws of time. Which would be impossible. And Tony would know. He’s the smartest person on the plant!<br/>
<br/>
Though, the kid might actually believe otherwise.<br/>
<br/>
Tony, being a… somewhat responsible dad, had been going through the kid’s search historic. Even before the coma, Tony had laughed at how the kid could spend hours reading about time travel, and more importantly, the multiverse. Both of those where theoretical. Not proof for either to ever be real. Yet the kid seemed to be completely sucked into those stories and the things no one where able to explain.<br/>
<br/>
The coma hadn’t helped. Peter had spent the first night after the coma, awake, going through google. Seemingly looking up alternative realities, and if was possible to see them.<br/>
<br/>
Tony had a feeling, that maybe, he should look into that more deeply. Figure out why the kid suddenly had become so obsessed with fiction. But that would have to wait till he got home. If he got home. Which he hoped he would.<br/>
<br/>
Step one, though, save the wizard.<br/>
<br/>
From where Tony was hiding, he could see as the wizard slowly and carefully opened his eyes. Allowing them to adjust to the weird light level.<br/>
<br/>
The light themselves, where bright. Looking right at them, where blinding even to Tony. And he, was viewing them through a special made suit, that would protect his eyes from mostly anything. Despite the brightness of the lights, it where almost like the ship where completely dark. Like a blanket of black, darkness, had been placed over ever inch of the inside of the ship.<br/>
It was, weird. To say at least.<br/>
<br/>
The alien, their kidnapper, was relative fast to get to work by the time they had gotten on the ship. The magical ropes where pulled off, Strange floating quietly in the air, and a million small needle looking things made of metal or glass, was floating all around him. Ready to stab into his raw, pall, flesh.<br/>
<br/>
If Tony attacked while any of these needle’s where inside the wizard, he feared they might break and get stuck in his body, if the alien lost his attention of his victim.<br/>
<br/>
On the other hand, if Tony waited till this was done, the time stone might no longer be held and protected by the neckless. By the magical protective spell that Strange had told him about.<br/>
<br/>
And even if, Strange didn’t give up the stone, he would surely die.<br/>
<br/>
Tony therefor, couldn’t apport to wait. None of the options sound appealing. But with the right weapon, the first option, was differently to prefer. And it wasn’t like it would be hard to get the right weapon. His suit was created by nano-bots! It was created to make weapons based on his needs and what he saw inside his own head. It would be easy to created a sword, or a gun of some kind that would be able to destroy, or at least hurt the alien to a point where he might be defeated or at the very least give up.<br/>
<br/>
It would be easy, if Tony at least knew what kind of weapon was affective against an alien. That was a unplanned part of the plan. Sure, he had luck back in 2012 during the original attack. But this alien was different.<br/>
<br/>
When the original attack had been created by what Tony could only describe as some sort of technological monsters, this was some living creature. And Tony didn’t know his skill set.<br/>
<br/>
Tony didn’t even understand the magic that came from the alien’s hands, let alone what Strange was able to do. Like with Wanda, he was lost. Didn’t know how to handle things, or what to think. Almost, like he was back with Peter again. Like he had just gotten the kid inside the compound, and all he did was stick to Tony’s side until he went to bed and didn’t show himself until he passed out days later.<br/>
<br/>
He’d felt lost and didn’t know what to do then. And now, he didn’t know what to do, either.<br/>
<br/>
His best option, right now… was the convert all power to his arc reactor, in the front of the suit. The primary source whole the suit was running on.<br/>
<br/>
And so he did. Readying himself to fly down and kill that Alien. Hoping, that things wouldn’t go wrong.<br/>
<br/>
Deep breath, Tony. Deep breath.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>The next chapter, is going to be OP! :D</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0038"><h2>38. In the end we only regret the chance we didn’t take</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Flash Thompson returns!</p><p>Not by blood is now officially longer than the first Harry Potter book!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“What’s that?” Peter asks, pointing to a small metal cube on the lab table. There’s buttons in different colors on each side of it, but no labels, no anything. And there’s nothing to indicate what it’s supposed to be.<br/>
<br/>
Of course, if Peter took it apart, he’d likely be able to identify the tech, but he can’t just take something apart while they’re at Horizon.<br/>
<br/>
As it turns out, Horizon is a smaller, newly founded, lab. The main purpose of the lab is to build prosthetic limbs, like arms and legs. Obviously, to help people who are either born without, or have had to have a limb amputated. But it had become quite clear, just a few minutes after they got there, that Horizon was working on so many different things on the side.<br/>
<br/>
One of the main scientists, Dr. Conner, where working with on animal-based DNA and a drug combined, hoping to trigger the human body to regrow body parts on it’s own.<br/>
<br/>
Dr. Otto Octavius where the main scientist on the bio limbs. But he was also working on other things in lab area 7, like noise reduction headphones, special motorcycle helmet, and Cryo Cube 3000, similar to the one Peter had been placed in during his coma. Yet so different, and more, square, instead of the tube design that shield used.<br/>
<br/>
Of course, there where less known people as well, the first two Peter had heard about before. Jurgen Muntz as engineer and lead designer of the Apogee Space Station, which they where working with Nasa to create. Sajani Jaffrey, creator of the Reverbium, which is an artificial version of Vibranium. But instead of absorbing the kinetic energy, it pushes it away.<br/>
<br/>
And last, but not least the CEO, Max Modell. Creator of the Horizon labs.<br/>
<br/>
Peter carefully reaches for the cube turning it in his hands. It’s heavy, yet light. He doesn’t quiet understand how it can be both at the same time. But it is. It also lies great in his hands.<br/>
<br/>
Echo chuckles from her workbench where she’s working on getting into the suit systems. After Peter and Ned had hacked it in DC, Tony had done a major system upgrade, meaning it was quiet the job. Not easier, ‘disable’ button. No, getting it out of lockdown mode, and removing the tracker, and most importantly Peter would like to add, connect a small piece of experimental tech that Echo had help created, to long distance space travel. Allowing Peter to no only have the suit sent vitals to earth, but to be tracked, and communicated with Echo and Flash.<br/>
<br/>
Flash, who had showed up at Horizon labs, with a bloody cheek but happiness in his eyes, that Peter hadn’t ever seen before. Ever.<br/>
<br/>
“That…” Echo points to the cube in Peter’s hands, “Is a fidget cube, for superhumans. Special request by another New York vigilant, DareDevil”. Peter lifts his head, to see that suit finally glow up with blue light over every wire. “And I just beat, Tony Stark’s security system for a super suit”.<br/>
<br/>
“And you can add that communication device?” Peter asks, playing with the cube in his hands. It’s good, really good.<br/>
<br/>
Echo nods, “Shouldn’t be too hard”. She get’s up from her chair and start searching through a few lockers and boxes around he work bench. It’s not quiet as fancy as what Peter has in the lab where he and Tony works, but the new computer directly connected to the labs private servers, and the amount of tools laying everywhere, shows that it isn’t just some hobby place. They hope to grow and expand. To created something bigger, and better.<br/>
<br/>
Peter turns to Flash, who… has been weirdly quiet since he showed up. “How are you doing Flash? Is things okay at Midtown? How did this Foster care thing happen?” Peter throws the questions out there, Flash can answer whatever he feels like. No pressure.<br/>
<br/>
“I guess I’m doing better than the last we saw each other” Flash replies, “I can say the same for you, by the way. You seem actually happy and relaxed. Though, I gotta say, midtown is kind of… lonely without you” Flash takes a breath, “and whole this…” he shakes his hand between himself and Echo, who’s intently focused on looking for that part she needs, “happened because, Flash Thompson got inspired by his hero, to speak out. To say when things aren’t okay. I started seeing the therapist school has, and suddenly this thing just… kind of happened” Flash sighs but gives Peter and careful smiles, “It’s better”.<br/>
<br/>
Flash seems to almost sink into himself thinking about it. Peter places a careful hand on his shoulder, Flash doesn’t move away. “If Spider-man had known how bad things where, I would have done more”.<br/>
<br/>
Flash shakes his head, “No, I had to do this myself. It was good”.<br/>
<br/>
“But you shouldn’t have to go through stuff like that on your own!” Peter argues, “Tony could have helped, or Pepper. If you just said something. I mean, what did they even do to you, beat you up, starve you? No matter what it isn’t okay”.<br/>
<br/>
“They threw me out” Flash then says, “They didn’t beat me, or starve me. Even if you hadn’t been in a coma during the time, you wouldn’t have seen anything. It wasn’t something you’d notice”.<br/>
<br/>
Peter stares at Flash in shock, “They… they threw you out?”.<br/>
<br/>
Flash nods, “I showered at school, shared lunch with my football friends” Flash gives a small smile, “It really could have been worse”.<br/>
<br/>
Peter shakes his head, “No. No, no, no. That isn’t okay!” Peter sinks into the chair. “I should have known, and Tony could have helped and-“.<br/>
<br/>
“Peter” Flash says with a serious tone, “I’m better now. I’m safe. Mr. and Mrs. Anaki, they don’t care about the money they get for fostering. They got me a new computer, offered for me to switch school or to keep paying for Midtown. They tug me in at night, with a goodnight and a smile, like my parents never did. Hell, they have their own kids. Like Echo” Flash smiles for real this time, “and Echo is an amazing sister”.<br/>
<br/>
Peter nods his head, “Okay” he says, “Okay. But… if something happens that shouldn’t happen, call me and Mr. Stark. I can give you his number”.<br/>
<br/>
Echo finally get’s up from the floor, a small tool in hand that Peter hasn’t seen before. “Found it!” she exclaims loudly. “Then I just have to…” she starts pocking around in the suit. Focused on it, and not seeming to need any help with figuring it out, Peter turns back to Flash.<br/>
<br/>
Flash shakes his head at him, but with a smile, “I’m good. Peter”.<br/>
<br/>
“Okay. Okay. But keep it in mind at least” Peter begs, placing his hands folded together, like when you pray, and slides to the floor in front of Flash. Looking up at him with puppy dog eyes that works on even the best super spy. Peter would know, he has tested them on Natasha. Flash chuckles, but nods in agreement.<br/>
<br/>
Peter get’s to his feet again, looking around the lab once more. What really catches his interest, is the round platform on the floor. A metal ring, around some white light. And from the base, there’s three pipes around 2 meter’s high, with what can best be disrobed as a showerhead with light at the end. And one of them, too having a small display, probably for controls. “What is this things?” Peter askes, running his fingers how the cold metal pipe.<br/>
<br/>
Echo looks up, panic on her face as she jumps forwards and pushes Peter away from the platform. Peter, who isn’t prepared for it, stumbles back. Falling backwards and losing his balance. Hitting his head on the corner of a table and his ear’s are ringing, vision blurry, for just a second before it clears up again and Peter can feel the throbbing pain his the back of his head.<br/>
<br/>
Flash is at his side in seconds, giving him a careful hand back to his feet. “Shit” he swears under his breath “Your bleeding. Echo do you guys have a med kit?”.<br/>
<br/>
Echo moves quickly, getting the med kit from the lab next door and throwing it to Flash before she turns back to the work on the suit. Likely scared that Peter is going to be mad at her, for causing him to get hurt. But Peter choose not to comment on it, just allows Flash to clean the small cut on the back of his head and apply a little medical glue to keep it shut.<br/>
<br/>
“Are you feeling okay?” Flash asks, as he pulls Peter to his feet.<br/>
<br/>
Peter gives a nod, “I’ve had worse. And there’s no concussion, so that’s good”. Peter sits down at one of the lab chairs, “Though I’d like to know why I had to be pushed into a table”.<br/>
<br/>
Echo looks down at the floor, clearly sorry about what happened. “Uh… it’s just… I…” Echo takes a deep breath, “that…” she points at it, “isn’t stable. The last person using it, Bella Fishbach, Eco-technology specialist… she didn’t make it. It had a meltdown during the test… there was nothing we could do”.<br/>
<br/>
“You created a weapon?” Peter askes. It’s his best guess. Most tech, while it might break or not function correctly, wouldn’t be able to kill the user. But Echo shakes of her head, tells a different story. “Then what?”.<br/>
<br/>
“It’s…” Echo freezes, doesn’t seem to know what words to use, “It’s a machine, that’s suppose to allow humans to travel between dimension”.<br/>
<br/>
“Like the multiverse?” Peter askes, Echo gives a quiet nod and looks to the machine. She carefully get’s up and walks towards it. She doesn’t step into the base herself, but she does place a pencil from her backpack on the platform before she pushes a button the display.<br/>
<br/>
The base lights up, so does the showerheads, but before it can transport the pencil to another dimension, the pencil breaks into a million-small piece. “Shit” Flash breaths out, “That’s why you said the funeral were a closed casket”.<br/>
<br/>
“Yes” Echo nods, “And yes” Echo nods to Peter. “Like the multiverse. But that isn’t important” Echo pushes another button. The pipes slide down into the base. “The suit is ready. What’s the plan?”.<br/>
<br/>
Peter gives Echo a small smile, “I need to get on that spaceship”. </p><p>***</p><p>“<em>One, two three testing</em>” Flashes voice sounds over the com system in the suit. They should be able to not only hear what Peter is saying but see everything too through the baby monitor protocol. That one good use, that Peter didn’t know the protocol had, but is now very thankful for.<br/>
<br/>
Peter smiles. It’s the first time in the suit since May’s death. He’s sitting on the top of some building where he can see the spaceship, that’s already close to leaving earth. He has to be lucky, or really talented to get on the thing. But he knows Tony is up there. The heartbeat that seems to skip every few beats, Tony’s heart error, is clear. It’s on the ship. Searching future out, he can hear Echo’s and Flash’s beat with excitement. He can hear Pepper’s normally strong beat, now filled with worry and fear. He can hear Ned and MJ running from something. He can hear, a portion of the avengers, Steve, Bucky, Shuri, T’challa, and Bruce on the quine yet. He doesn’t know what they have to do, what they need to find. But maybe they go after Vision. To protect him, and the stone.<br/>
<br/>
“I hear you loud and clear” Peter confirms, allowing himself to center on himself for just a minute. His own heartbeat sound strong, sure. But it also sounds scared. And the moment he starts to swing, it will sound excited.<br/>
<br/>
There’s a break on the other end of the com, “<em>Can you swing onto the ship, it’s pretty high isn’t it?</em>”.<br/>
<br/>
Peter shakes his head, “No I can’t. Too high. But if I can find a helicopter, I might be able to stick to it, and get closer to the ship”.<br/>
<br/>
“<em>Or</em>” Echo’s voice sounds over the com, “<em>You two could be smart and just use the tractor beam that’s turned on! I mean, look at the blue thing, what else would it be!</em>”.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Is that, a new guy in the char? It girl in the chair? Yeah, no. Not at all. No, Echo. Echo play's a different role in the story.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0039"><h2>39. Silence isn’t empty, it’s full of answers</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry... the chapter is a little short.</p><p>I have spent the last few days, preparing my ideas for whumptober, so that's a thing? I will still finish not by blood, on the side. And hopefully, start part 4 of "a part of the journey is the end", in which not by blood is part 2. So, keep an eye out for that!!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Entering the blue light beam that Echo had located by looking at videos of the ship, was weird to say the least. The moment he entered it, it was like whole his body went numb, and he started floating upwards. Breaking ever law that Peter had ever learned in school. His tech, the com, the suit, both seem to die on him. Or well, not die. He knew it was still working, but it just wasn’t responding. And his sense, was almost the same way.<br/><br/>
Of course, his spidey sense would go off. He was entering an alien ship, of all, not knowing what would be waiting on the other side.<br/><br/>
He could hear three heartbeats. Of course, Mr. Stark. Tony’s. Dad’s. He could hear another human heartbeat as well, that, he didn’t know. It wasn’t Rhodey, Natasha or Clint. It wasn’t Wanda either. So Peter really didn’t know who that was, but with a little luck, they where on the same side.<br/><br/>
The last heartbeat though, was what Peter really took notice in. It was odd, inhumane, yet seems so much like a human, that anyone could be fooled. Surely it didn’t look human though. Whatever that thing on that ship where, it wasn’t human. It wasn’t anything like a human Peter had ever seen before. And Peter had seen the hulk!<br/><br/>
His other sense where weird too. His hearing was like under water, similar to in those desperate moments in the tank. Everything around him, where a blue blurry light, that to normal people with normal eyes might have been transparent, but it wasn’t to Peter. And then, of course… he felt numb. He couldn’t even feel iron spider’s heavy weight against his body. He truly, were weightless.<br/><br/>
But despite his sense going crazy, getting on board, was surprisingly easy.<br/><br/>
As soon as he where on the ship, the suit, coms and his sense went back to normal. And therefor proving to him, that they in some were affected by the tractor beam. Flash and Echo’s explanation sounded pretty similar.<br/><br/>
Exactly what he had expected when on the ship, Peter didn’t actually know. Was he just going and walk around till he found Mr. Stark, and hope it’d be too late to send him home?<br/><br/>
If that was the plan, it seemed quite easy as well. Seen as Tony was right there, just meter’s away from the airlock Peter had entered through. Talking to a magical cap? Probably trying to figure out how to save, the levitating wizard.<br/><br/>
So, Peter hid in the airlock, as Tony moved towards the levitating wizard and the alien. His brain working impossibly fast, trying to find a way to help Tony. Because, that alien was going to kill him.<br/><br/>
“Guys, can you still hear me?” Peter whispered, knowing that Karen would allow them to hear him, even if he didn’t talk very loud. Another one of those things, that Tony had made sure off, so Peter would be safe. Or, well… safer than without all those protocol’s.<br/><br/>
With a crackling sound the com came to life. “<em>Loud and clear Peter</em>” Flash responded. “<em>Need our help with anything?</em>”.<br/><br/>
“I need a way to help Tony and save the wizard” Peter said, “I’m think about that movie Aliens where there’s that scene where-“.<br/><br/>
“<em>-There are created a vacuum on the spaceship, causing everyone but the main character to die</em>” Echo filles in. “<em>I see your idea but it wouldn’t work. There’s no way of closing the hole again, and even if there where, the wizard, as you call him, would be long dead. He doesn’t have a fancy suit like your and Stark</em>”.<br/><br/>
Peter sighed. If Tony knew he was here, they could use the ice from his suit to fix the whole he would create. Hell, they could create a hole with Tony’s weapons. “I feared you’d say that” Peter looked around, “Any other ideas?”.<br/><br/>
“<em>Don’t you have anything in the suit that might be able to work?</em>” Flash carefully asked.<br/><br/>
Peter shook his head, “No. It isn’t created for space travel”.<br/><br/>
“<em>But your in an airlock right now!</em>” Echo almost screamed over the come system. “<em>The means, we could do like in the Martian. The would totally work</em>”.<br/><br/>
“What’s the Martian?” Peter askes. He’s seen a lot of movies, mostly related to space and fantasy. The Martian isn’t on the list. He’s never even heard about it.<br/><br/>
Karen throws up some book on the screen as Echo starts to talk. “<em>The Martian. It’s a book we’re reading at school. And it got, right what we need</em>”.</p><p>***</p><p>Turns out, what they needed was an airlock, which Peter already had. A way to hack into the ship’s system and control the airlocks and power, which through Karen and the smart tech Echo had created was easy. And, lastly Peter would have to sacrifice his web Grenade, or well, the gunpowder in them. And, getting it out of course triggered 30 different warnings from Karen.<br/><br/>
The Martian, a book Echo was reading at school, also had a movie adaptation, which Peter really needed to see in it’s fullest, but right now he only needed a specific scene.<br/><br/>
Carefully, he used the gunpowder to create a bomb that he to be place on the inner door of the airlock, while Echo through Karen, would open the utter door. Peter then connected the bomb to the power gride, so Echo or Karen, depending on who was better at it, could detonate the bomb and blow the inner door. Creating a vacuum. So far, quiet like in Aliens.<br/><br/>
But, now they still had the second door, so the second the Alien was either off the ship, or dead, they could close it and once again have air on the spaceship.<br/><br/>
That’s how Peter ended up sticking to the outside of the spaceship, waiting for the bomb to go off.<br/><br/>
It’s funny how quiet space can be. Or, well. How quiet space will always be. To a normal person it might seem like nothing. A normal person can just, turn of the power of their house, close all doors and windows and it would be just as quiet. Well, if you lived in the countryside anyways. But Peter haven’t been able to do that, ever. Not that he didn’t want to, he does, but he can’t.<br/><br/>
New York is too loud for it to work. New York is too bright to see stars.<br/><br/>
At the compound, Peter might have been able to get the quietness if he had been a normal human. But Peter’s not.<br/><br/>
Now, in space, is the first time Peter hear actually quietness. For the first time in Peter’s life there’s nothing but quietness. No birds singing, no dogs barking. No technology humming, or radios playing. It’s nothing but darkness and quietness.<br/><br/>
Right now, the only thing Peter would be able to hear, was Karen, Echo, Flash and his own breath. His own voice. But that was only because of the iron spider suit.<br/><br/>
That meant, that by the time the bomb exploded, Peter didn’t actually hear it. Not that he needed too, he wasn’t very far away from the airlock, needing to reenter the ship quickly, when the alien had hopefully either been sucked out, or hurt to a point, where they didn’t need to worry to much about him attacking them.<br/><br/>
But just because it was quiet, didn’t mean it weren’t pretty. That was one thing Peter would never get over. Bombs where created to kill. Or at least to fight.<br/><br/>
Tony had been hit with shrapnel from one of his owns bombs once. A bomb that had been created to protect but had been stolen and used for evil. After that Tony became Iron man. Everyone already knows that though.<br/><br/>
But bombs, fires… it was still pretty. At least when you were careful around it and had respect for it. Knowing that it could kill you, in one way or another.<br/><br/>
Peter with his spidey sense and all, didn’t have to worry too much. Sure, Pepper and Tony never had candles lit, but May used to have them. Peter spidey sense would alert him to it, the second he left a room with one on. Bombs, well… Peter couldn’t do much against a bomb. Or, any other bomb like reaction. But he did get a warning, and a chance not only to save himself from being blow into pieces, but also the people near him.<br/><br/>
And of course, his spidey sense worked even in space.<br/><br/>
It alerted him a full second before the bomb even went off. And while, Peter didn’t move any faster, not really, sometimes it looked like the world slowed down around him when bad things where about to happen.<br/><br/>
That mean Peter could see every detail of the fire cloud that shot out from the door. Could see all the small pieces being forced away by the ship with the power of the bomb blast, but also by the air that was now fussing out of it, like a punctured bicycle wheel.<br/><br/>
Could see as the grey skinned Alien was pulled out of the ship, could see him take his last breath. And freeze. Literally freeze. Become stiff.<br/><br/>
Sure, Peter couldn’t hear the heartbeat stop, but based on what he could see, the alien was dead.<br/><br/>
So Peter carefully crackled towards the opening of the ship, sticking a little harder to the surface as he crawled in, and didn’t let go until Echo confirmed that the utter door from the airlock was closed behind him.<br/><br/>
The inner door was blown into a million pieces, but it was cold. No heat, like when a bomb went off on earth. No red, angry glowing, hot metal. Just a hole.<br/><br/>
And a shocked looked Iron man, holding onto the wizard with all his power.<br/><br/>
Damn… Peter where in trouble.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks for reading! :D</p><p>If marvel can make movie reference, I can make book references. </p><p>Totally sorry about the short chapter.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0040"><h2>40. I still believe in hero’s!</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>We're nearing the end, but aren't there quiet yet. Yet I want to thank you, because this journey as been great.<br/>There's the fans, knowing what I'm thinking before even I am. There's the readers who's here to explore, and see what this weird world is all about. There's those who wants the whump, who came because of the coma tag. Some who's here for the dead aunt, and those who's here for Iron dad.<br/>And I'm happy for all of you. Happy to have meet you here, and shared the story with people, who had just as much fun, as I did writing it.<br/>This is why a surprise is waiting in chapter. To celebrate the people who came back, who kept supporting every step I took. Who cared for not just the story, but for me, when times were rough. For the people I got the celebrate my 18th birthday with, and the people who commented with long, detailed comments that inspired me.<br/>Did I forget you? I'm sorry... you still matter. So, damn much.<br/>Thank you.<br/>Enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tony stars at Peter as he crawls along the celling, in through the airlock, with one of the doors closing behind him. The bomb had caught him by surprise, to say the least. The wizard, the Alien and he where supposed to be the only people on the ship, but a bomb doesn’t set itself off. For a second, Tony had feared it might have been that Thanos guy, that everyone was talking about. The one who wanted to kill and destroy.<br/><br/>
Tony hadn’t really had time to question it much though. He just grabbed on to the wizard, the red cape, and used the magnetic locks in the boots, to almost stick to the ship.<br/><br/>
Looked, as the alien was sucked out. Looked at Peter crawled in. And almost, but only almost, begged Friday to tell him he was dead. That he was seeing things. Because Peter… Peter shouldn’t be here. In space. He should be a school. The new one, that he just started at.<br/><br/>
Tony didn’t waste any time, when the door closed behind Peter to let the helmet dismantle and disappear back into the nanotech carrying case. Just, so Peter could see his disappointment.<br/><br/>
His fear, his worry.<br/><br/>
“Your supposed to be on bed rest” Tony says, tone stern. “And now you’re here. When did you start to think that was okay? Huh? Do you run around and hack into my suits on a day to day basic, because if so, I need to up the security again. There was a reason I locked it down”. There is more anger to it than Tony really wanted. He can see Peter take a few steps back as his voice grows louder. Just like on the roof top, after the ferry. “And now I got you here, right where I didn’t want you to be. And don’t pretend you though this through. You haven’t been in the suit since December!”.<br/><br/>
Peter too let’s his own helmet slide off, “I’m sorry. I really am. But I heard Pepper, and I knew you where about to do something stupid… and…” Peter takes a deep breath, “I did think this through. One, I can’t be a friendly neighborhood spider-man, if there’s no neighborhood. And two, I… I could… with everything I just… Pepper needs you”.<br/><br/>
“Pete” Tony’s voice breaks, “This… this isn’t corny island, this isn’t a fieldtrip. This is a one-way ticket” Tony backtracks to what Peter said, “Wait, you heard Pepper?”.<br/><br/>
Peter seems confused for a second, his eyes widen comically, and he nods. “Super hearing, you know. I heard her. I, heard things. Important things. And heartbeats, and damn Tony, Pepper’s going to kill you and… I… supposed I heard this coming too. For a long time. Before the coma, but I didn’t know and-“.<br/><br/>
The wizard, Strange takes a step in between then “You heard this coming?”.<br/><br/>
Peter and Tony sighs in unison, “Long story, wizard. We don’t got time for this right now”.<br/><br/>
Strange seems like he want’s the argue, like he want’s details. He probably does. But he doesn’t say it, just sighs, lets him shoulders slump a little and “We gotta turn the ship around”.<br/><br/>
“Oh, so now you want to run?” Tony asks, he wants to laugh. “Great plan. Just admit it, you should have ducked out when I told you too. I tried to bend you, you refused. And due to that fact, we’re now millions on miles from earth with no backup”.<br/><br/>
“I want to protect the stones” Strange argues as the cape lands carefully on his shoulders, “And if you expect me to tell you, that you were right. Then your wrong. You almost got me sucked out into space”.<br/><br/>
“That weren’t me! That was the kid. I just saved your ass” Tony points out.<br/><br/>
Strange shakes his head, “I seriously don’t get how you fit your head into that helmet. And, unlike everyone else in your life I don’t work for you. Like the kid, clearly stark tech isn’t it.” Strange points to the kid in the iron spider suit, laying form fitted over his smaller frame. “Anywhere what is he, your ward?”.<br/><br/>
Tony is about to open his mouth and reply, but really what should he say. ‘Oh him, he’s my adopted son’? Yeah, no. That won’t help his case, or anyone else’s case at the minute. He doesn’t get a chance to say anything though.<br/><br/>
“Strange” Peter breaths out, it’s low but both him and Dr. Strange hear it as they turn to him. Peter is staring at Strange with big, confused, eyes. Both Strange and Tony probably looks just as confused as Peter does, but Peter quickly snaps out of it, covering something on with him ramble. “Uh, just that… this shi-“ Breath, “That cape!... that’s, so strange, you know?”.<br/><br/>
Strange looks at Peter with something Tony doesn’t quiet understand. “I supposed it is” he replies. He reaches his hand out in greeting “I’m Dr. Stephen Strange. Better known as the Sorcerer Supreme. And you are?”.<br/><br/>
Peter grabs the wizard’s hand tightly, “Peter Parker, sir. Using made up names, Spider-man”.<br/><br/>
“Nice to meet you, Peter” Strange says before turning back to Tony. “Can you control this thing, fly us home?”.<br/><br/>
Tony nods, “I could. But I’m not so sure we should” Tony places himself in front of the large window and looks out, “You saw what they did, what they can do. You saw it six years ago, sure. But you saw it again today. On Titan he won’t expect it, so I say we take the fight to him. Get the upper hand”.<br/><br/>
“Alright Stark, we go to him” Strange agrees, “But you have to understand…” he looks in Peter’s direction, he has let the helmet go back on. Tony can see when looking at Karen’s systems that Peter is talking to someone in the but has muted himself to the outside. He doesn’t want to pry in what the kid is doing, not now. “… If it comes to saving you, or the time stone. I won’t hesitate to let you die”.<br/><br/>
Tony looks back to Strange, “What about the kid?”.<br/><br/>
Strange looks to the kid as well, and sighs. “The kid can obviously protect himself. He just saved both of his, from a magical alien. I don’t think it will ever come to that”.<br/><br/>
Tony sighs, but nods in agreement. Strange is right, the kid just showed that he can handle himself. Got on the ship, and saved both of them, without Tony even knowing. Sure, there’s someone in his ears, who might have been able to help. Tony doesn’t know who, but if they can help once, they can help again.<br/><br/>
So Tony does the only thing he can do, and let’s the suit dismantle completely before walking to Peter’s side. Peter let’s the helmet slip off after a second, probably to let his friends know he’ll be right back. Tony places a hand on Peter’s should, pushed him carefully down on knees and knifes him. “You’re an avenger now, kid. I believe in you. But please, don’t get kill”.<br/><br/>
Peter’s eyes light up in happiness and he smiles carefully. “You neither”.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>While Tony and Dr. Strange keeps talking, Peter let’s the helmet slip back on and mutes himself. Partly to talk to Echo and Flash, who are laughing with excitement of what they just save in the baby monitor protocol, but also to avoid any other slipups. He shouldn’t know who Strange is, or how this will end, yet he does.<br/><br/>
He knows about the final snap, that kills Tony. Or, was it Pepper? Knows about the original snap the kills half the universe. Knows about Thanos, and the stones.<br/><br/>
Knows the he knows it from the coma. But doesn’t know how, or why.<br/><br/>
He can’t explain it. So he turns to his friends. Where he doesn’t have to explain anything, because how would they know, that he shouldn’t know about these things?<br/><br/>
“<em>That was amazing</em>” Flash is beaming over the com, “<em>Hey shouldn’t we have codenames?</em>”.<br/><br/>
Peter laughs quietly, “sure thing, got anything in mind Flash?”.<br/><br/>
“<em>What about… rockstaragent</em>” Flash recommends, “<em>Spiderman is life? JuSt_AnOth3r_N3rd</em>”.<br/><br/>
Peter can hear Echo laugh in the background, of the weird, yet funny and somewhat cool names Flash comes up with. “Do you spell Nerd the same way you say it, or with the number 3?”.<br/><br/>
“<em>With 3 of course</em>” Flash replies like it’s the most normal things in the world. They all laugh. Flash continues. “<em>Running with the wolves? Berryblu? Ninjazzz? TeamIronDad?</em>”.<br/><br/>
“Why do we have to play the Irondad card? It really isn’t funny!” Peter argues loudly, but it’s with a lightness and fun to his tone. “He isn’t my real dad anyways. You know”.<br/><br/>
“<em>Because, Peter. He act’s like a total dad</em>” Flash says.<br/><br/>
Peter shakes his head, “No he doesn’t”.<br/><br/>
“<em>Anyways, there’s also… I don’t know. MississippiFanGirl? Minigigi? Come on, they can’t be that bad! And then we can call ourselves team spidey</em>” Flash seems so happy about all the names.<br/><br/>
Peter shakes his head, “They just don’t feel right, you know. No superheroy enough. Team name… what about… ‘web warriors’?” There’s agreement from both Flash and Echo over the com. “And, White Knight for Flash, Statix for Echo”.<br/><br/>
“<em>Statix? Not bad</em>” Echo replies over the coms, but she sounds distant.<br/><br/>
Flash on the other hands is cheering loudly, until Peter is disturbed by Tony. And Peter, finally becomes and official avenger.  </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>One thing is flying the spaceship. It’s easy, looking at the fact it was on autopilot long before Tony, Peter and Strange even got on board. Tony didn’t have to do anything, didn’t have to change anything. They weren’t going back to earth, yet. And if they ever where, and there’s no telling if they were, it likely wouldn’t be on Thanos ship. The chance of the thing surviving more than the trip to Titan, with inexperienced people behind the wheel where… questionable at best.<br/><br/>
Landing the ship, where a completely different story, than flying it. And even if Tony had sat down, and taught himself to land the thing, it wouldn’t have worked. Friday warned him of the gravitational pull long before They even hit the ground.<br/><br/>
There was nothing Tony, or anyone else could have done. No magic, no webs and no tech could have helped them. So, crash landing it where.<br/><br/>
Of course, they did try and steer. Just to, make it a little less of a rough landing. With Tony’s armor, and Peter’s amazing super strength, their chance of making it where there. And the second it became clear; they weren’t making it. Strange had jumped in, making magical shields all around them.<br/><br/>
Not that it helped all that much. Tony felt his body protest even more than normal. Felt the pain of the crash and the hit. But despite that, all three of them, most importantly Peter, seemed to be alright. They weren’t hurt, or dead. That was a good thing.<br/><br/>
The worse Tony could see, as Strange helped him to his feet, was the blood running down the Doctors forehead. But it was superficial.<br/><br/>
“We’re okay Statix” Peter reassure someone, while he was hanging upside down from one of his webs, “Just a scratch. The suit vitals will tell you the same thing… yes. Okay, okay! Relax. Wait, did Flash leave? Why? What do you mean he wanted popcorn?” There where an audible sigh from Peter, “is it really that awesome to watch me fight some weird alien? Wait, what do you mean somethings coming? I didn’t know that thing could detect other ships as well. Yes, yes, we’ll get the safety. Statix, I… you said that already. Yes. Okay”. Peter let the mask slide away. “Somethings coming”.<br/><br/>
“How would you possibly know that” Strange looks at Peter in confusion. Peter shrugs, and gives Tony a half smile, before his eyes widen and he jumps down from the web and pushes Tony back over as gunshots echo’s through the broken ship. Strange is with them in seconds. “Alright. I’ll never question it again”.<br/><br/>
“You better not” Tony warns, “The kid’s sense are life savers from time to time”.<br/><br/>
Peter shakes his head, “No mine this time. A friend from my new school, Echo. And Flash, I guess. He’s her foster brother”.<br/><br/>
“Kid, wrong time for this conversation” Tony reminds him.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>White knight is one of Flash Thompson's names in one of the comic series. </p>
<p>Statix. That's the name, the online name, of one of my best friends. He believed in me, helped me make the chapters a little bit better. Has sat with me during late night meltdowns, during fanfic idea sessions. He kept me going. He supported me. And he pushed me to not just make a few chapters of not by blood, but to make a full story.<br/>And now, Statix has allowed me, to use his name for Echo Anaki, my OC. Who... might have an origin story upcoming :) I can't wait for that to happen.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0041"><h2>41. Everybody lies, Everybody lives, and Everybody dies</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Chapter 41. Next chapter will be the ending of Not By Blood.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Friday, call them again!” Pepper begs. She’s sitting at the compound, after Happy having gotten her there just hours ago. No word from Tony, nothing from Peter. Nothing. Not a message saying ‘hey I went to space’ or note from the teachers at school that some students had gone missing during the attack.<br/><br/>
“I’m sorry Mrs. Pott’s. I still can not connect to neither Mr. Stark or Mr. Parker”.<br/><br/>
Happy’s hiding off in the corner and haven’t spoken a word since they got to the compound. Since he realized what they both had done, just like Pepper had. That doesn’t stop him. “Try again Friday. Anything”.<br/><br/>
This time Friday is a little, slower. If you can say that. What is usually a half a second thing, is this time a whole 5 second thing. “There appears to be a weak connection between a smaller experiment lab, Horizon in New York, and the Iron spider suit. But I cannot lock on to it”.<br/><br/>
That’s… different. “Any clue how’s that is possible?”.<br/><br/>
Again, it takes a second, “It’s a long shot, but I have sent you the complete data”.<br/><br/>
Pepper quickly get’s up from where she’s sitting on the couch, going for her Starkpad. Happy joins her in seconds. Echo Anaki is both show to be Peter’s start up partner at Whitestone Academy, and as an intern at Horizon labs. “Friday. Is there any phone number on this Echo Anaki girl?” Happy asks.<br/><br/>
“I’m afraid not, sir”.<br/><br/>
Happy sinks into a chair next to Pepper, as tears starts to role down his eyes. “I promised May to keep him safe… and I failed… again…”.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>The fight is short, but somehow a lot happens anyways. Even with Peter’s power set, it’s hard to really keep up. Of course, there’s the bombs and gunfire, they are a part of every fight ever. You just don’t get around that. But then there’s knife throwing, yelling aliens that almost reminds Peter of hulk, but in a smarter and clever way.<br/><br/>
Dr. Strange is fast to do something about it, with orange shields and attacks with the magical cape. That, seems to almost have a mind of it’s own. Peter really doesn’t understand it.<br/><br/>
But just as soon as Strange has one of the attackers down, Tony is down too. Magneticly connected to the side of the shield by another humanoid in his let thirties. Who, Peter would like to add, doesn’t have stark tech, but does have rocket shoes. Why doesn’t Peter have rocket shoes? He really has to ask Tony about that.<br/><br/>
It’s first at the point, Peter really get’s to his feet again, after the bomb and gunfire. But really, he doesn’t get to his feet. He’s cornered by a alien, with glowing… Peter doesn’t know. But they kind of makes he look like an insect.<br/><br/>
No really, what are they? Antelope Horn’s? Insect Feeler? Peter isn’t into biology, he like chemistry. His best guess is Antennae. Antennae’s a normal in insect’s. They serve as sense organ for insects. To sense smells and such. But normally, humans, or human like creatures… do not have antennae. Alien then?<br/><br/>
Of course, Peter crawls back. Hell, he even caught her of guard with his webs. But he’s so focused on her, that he doesn’t see him. The same person taking Tony down, coming from the side and crashing in hitting Peter right around the rips on his left side. Making him tumble to the ground, with a throbbing pain, that likely won’t go away for a long time. Suddenly, making it hard to breath. Broken rips is the first, and hopefully worst thing, he’ll encounter today.<br/><br/>
When Peter tries to fight back, to get the guy down, he’s hit with some sort of string? Electric string, that once again makes him tumble. Sending even more pain through his body. Actually, through whole his nerve system. But Peter is an Avenger. He can’t cry. Not now.<br/><br/>
With all that, happening all at once, Peter doesn’t notice as Tony lands on top of the original grey guy. Repulser turned towards him, as he lay’s on the ground.<br/><br/>
Doesn’t notice Strange taking up his orange shields.<br/><br/>
And actually, doesn’t feel the pain of being pulled to his feet by strong hands. Held tight to someone’s body, but not in the gentle IronDad way. Or the way Happy might have done it after whole the Skip incident in the start of spring. No, this is supposed to be a threat.<br/><br/>
Yet he doesn’t feel fear when the human male places his space gun up to his head. Because Peter trust Tony’s suit, and Tony himself, to protect Peter no matter the cost.<br/><br/>
And right now, they don’t even have to fight. Peter’s spidey sense is quiet. He isn’t in danger. Their willing to talk, and hear each other out. Sure Tony isn’t going to love it, but they can. They got options here. Just like they had options in the airport in berlin.<br/><br/>
They don’t have to talk with their fist or weapons. It’s not about fancy suits, or guns. It’s not about magic. Or human or alien. Right now there’s bigger things in the game. Like Thanos.<br/><br/>
“I’m gonna ask you this one time...” The human starts to speak, “where is Gamora?”.<br/><br/>
Tony looks to the human holding Peter. If Peter could see his face right now, he knows there’s confusing and fear on it. Yet Tony’s voice doesn’t shake as he replies in his no-replay way. “I’ll do you one better, who is Gamora?”.<br/><br/>
The alien at Tony’s feet then continues it “Let me do you one better, why is Gamora?”.<br/><br/>
Strange looks like someone who’s about to laugh. Literally. But he also looks frustrated. Yet continues what is the weirdest thing in the world. “I’ll do you one better… What’s Gamora?”. But nobody laughs at him. It isn’t funny. He’s to serious to make jokes. Peter doesn’t say that out loud though. Tony wouldn’t be happy. He always says Peter talks to much in fights.<br/><br/>
“Just…” the human takes a breath, “Tell me where the girl is or I swear to you. I’ll French fry this little freak”. And with that Peter laughs. He just can’t help it, despite the pain in his rips.<br/><br/>
“You have to be kidding me. Your gonna French fry me? Oh, I’m so scared now” Peter laughs. They all look to Peter as he let’s the helmet slip off. “Come on, you gotta have something better than that dude!”.  Over the coms Peter can hear Echo and Flash laughs as well. French fry? That’s sooooo funny that Peter doesn’t understand how anyone could think it was a good threat.<br/>
The human seems to pause and then pushes the gun closer to Peter’s head. “Shut up, I’m serious”.<br/><br/>
Tony seems to freeze for a moment. Almost laughing himself now, but soon enough has a serious face back on. “Okay, let’s do it. You shoot my guy, I’ll blast yours”.<br/><br/>
“Don’t do it Quill” The alien calls out. So the human is named Quill. That’s a step better than calling him human all the time. Quill. “I can’t take it… plz. Don’t do it”. And that makes Quill shake slightly. He might not feel it himself, but Peter can feel the arm holding him shake. Peter knows.<br/><br/>
“Oh yeah? You don’t want to tell me where she is? That’s fine. Then I’ll just kill all three of you”.<br/><br/>
“<em>Peter, is this guys for real?</em>” Flashes voices sounds out from a speaker in the suit everyone can hear. That… Peter didn’t actually know where there. And based on Starks look, he had forgotten too. “<em>He doesn’t have a chance against the Avengers! I mean your spider man and Iron man. No one can defeat you!</em>”.<br/><br/>
The Alien girl looks almost shocked. Apologetic. “The Avengers? You’re the once Loki told us about!”.<br/><br/>
“You know Loki?” Tony asks disbelief clear in his voice. “When did you talk to him, because last I heard he’s dead. Killed by the hands of Thanos”.<br/><br/>
“Yeah? Short guy. Kinda good looking. Needed saving” Quill replies. “He’s with the rest of my team, trying to create a new weapon for Thor so that he can fight Thanos”. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Happy goes to the graveyard. He did that a lot during Peter’s coma. Actually daily. He’s never believed in god, not really. But it’s the only place where he can talk to May. Even if May can’t hear him. And with all the stuff going on with Peter, that Happy couldn’t protect him from… the least he can do, is keep May updated.<br/><br/>
And right now, there’s nothing else to do. No hospital bed to sit next and watch over him. No media that wants to take photos, or old Babysitter wanting to rape the kid again.<br/><br/>
He’s already called Ned. Friday could confirm that Tony had locked down the spider suit, but it hadn’t been unlocked again. Which wasn’t true. There were videos and photos of him swinging through the city, and up onto the space ship. And because of the fact Ned has done it before, he was the best guess to who could do it again. Despite the fact, that Friday told them otherwise. Despite the fact, Happy already has a name on the girl who might have done it. Echo.<br/><br/>
But a name isn’t going to help them right now. Nothing is. So Happy tries everything. Even if he knows it’s a lost cause.<br/><br/>
He calls MJ. Michelle Jones. Praying she might have heard from Peter. Heard anything. He knows that she knows, that he knows she knows, Peter is Spider-man. Despite the kid never telling her.  And being so smart might mean she knows something. But she too, know nothing.<br/><br/>
Flash is last on the list, even if he should have been first. His phone can be tracked to Horizon labs. But he doesn’t pick up. Doesn’t read his messages.<br/><br/>
The owner of the lab does pick up. But he isn’t there himself at the moment. Leaving the city, desperate to get to his kids living with their mother outside of New York. That also means he doesn’t know if anyone’s at the lab. He can’t give Happy a name, or a code to get into the control system. He really can’t give Happy anything. What he can confirm at least, is that one of their Internes, again the name Echo, has been able to create a transponder, that can communicate with someone in space. Non tested of course.<br/><br/>
“I’m sorry May. I promised I’d keep Peter safe for you, but I failed. He woke up from the god forsaken coma, and just days later, he goes to space. How is that safe? How can I call myself security, when I can’t even do this. He’s just a kid, he shouldn’t fight crime. He should think about normal stuff, like what’s for dinner. Not about where that bad guy with alien tech might go next. He should play games and watch movies with friends, he should hang out and eat take away with you. But none of that is a thing. None of that happened. And I’m sorry. So, so sorry May. Forgive me”.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>So, the human Quill is also known as Star Lord. Drax is the big alien male, that reminded Peter of hulk. The insect girl is Mantis. And they then have a crew that also includes a tree named Groot and a racoon name Rocket. And Peter though his life where weird, Spider powers, project Oz and being allergic to peppermint. But he was wrong. Their life is sooo much worse. Or weirder. Or… is that actually bad? Peter isn’t sure.<br/><br/>
What he is sure about, just like Stark is that they need a plan. The other three… not so sure about it. At least, they seem bored when Tony tries to talk about it. And make an actually plan. Sure, there’s a movie reference between Peter and… Peter? But that isn’t a plan.<br/><br/>
“Does your friend often do that?” Mantis break up an argument between Quill and Tony.<br/><br/>
Strange he levitates a few inches above the ground. Green magic is glowing around him, and his head is movie left and right with incredible speed. “Strange, we’re alright?”. Tony questions and moves closer, with Peter hot on his hells. As Tony moves closer, Strange drops to the ground with a gasp. “Your back. What was that?”.<br/><br/>
“I went forward in time” Strange coughs a little, he’s turning paler by the minute. “To view al-alternative futures. To see all possible outcomes of the coming conflict. I saw 14000605”.<br/><br/>
“Well” Tony says supporting the wizard “How many did we win”.<br/><br/>
Strange lifts one of his fingers, as he sways. “The-theres... O-on… one… ” he barely get’s the word out before he slumps over down into the dusty sand of Titan.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>The last chapter is currently halfway done, and will be posted tonight my time. That means, that due to the fact Ao3 will be down for a few hours tomorrow morning, that I won't be able to read comments and reply to them as fast as I usually would. Sorry.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0042"><h2>42. A part of the journey is the once we lose</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Read the chapter, watch the video :) https://youtu.be/QxnD3ZLtjeo</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A famous man once said, we create our own demons. Who said that? What does that even mean? Doesn’t matter. I said it because he said it. And basically, he said it, and now it’s said by two pretty well-known guys. I don’t… eh… I’m gonna start again.<br/><br/>
A famous man once said that we create our own demons. And maybe that’s true. We create our own demons.<br/><br/>
Peter knew Tony had said it once. He didn’t know the details of course, but he’d heard it. In TV, after the Malibu mansion had been destroyed. After Tony returned home, from being dead, a second time. A 3ed time. 3 times then, a million now. But that wasn’t important.<br/><br/>
What was important, was that whoever said it, was right. It meant the same yet sound a hell of a lot better than ‘with great power comes great responsibility’. Sounded better than Peter’s ‘If you can do the things that I can…’. All three of those all meant the same thing, just said in different ways. By different people. In different generations.<br/><br/>
Or, that wasn’t completely true. They where two different sides, to the same story.<br/><br/>
When Ben had been killed, Peter hadn’t lived up to his responsibility, and Ben’s death had been on him. And boom, demon created. A demon, that lead Peter into space.<br/><br/>
When May died, that cold night, in early December… Peter had taken his responsibility and thrown it out the window. Forgotten about Spider-man, and his life. Where he came from, and what he was supposed to do. And when he realized what he’d done, a new demon was watching him from high above. May. And she had lead Peter to space. Because he couldn’t sit back and pretend it wasn’t happening. Couldn’t let anyone else die.<br/><br/>
And when Peter saw Thanos prepper to kill Tony, he was sure another demon was about to enter his life of failure. Of death and destruction.<br/><br/>
Strange didn’t wake up to help with the planning. Their best guess was that he used to much power to see the 14 million different futures. But with no real knowledge about magic, it could just as easily be that head wound from earlier turning out to be worse than first though.<br/><br/>
Despite them being a man down, they got Thanos under control when he finally came. With help from the cloak, the insect woman, and Peter’s super strength, they almost got the gauntlet.<br/><br/>
Almost got the stones.<br/><br/>
If it hadn’t been for Peter. As in Quill, not Parker. Because Thanos had killed Gamora. The girl he’d been looking for when they meet just hours earlier. If it even had been hours.<br/><br/>
But then Thanos broke out of the trans, and the insect girl was thrown off him. So Peter had to let go, and jump. Save her. Help her. But those few seconds where enough for Thanos to regain the glow, and pull a nearby mean apart. Piece by piece, it started crashing towards Titan.<br/><br/>
Peter knew the stone where powerful. Knew they had been used to destroy so much already. Knew what they had created, or helped create. How they had changed people’s life forever. With nothing, anyone could do about it, other than look at them and pray they wouldn’t end up in the wrong hands. But they did end up in the wrong hands. Time after time.<br/><br/>
Yes, Peter knew. He’s seen it with his own eyes during the coma. Back when he though it was all some stupid nightmare. But seeing it for real, like this… feeling the energy in the air around Thanos. That was different from the nightmares. From the stories.<br/><br/>
But they had kept fighting. Hoping and praying that fighting would be enough. Either enough to stop him, or enough for the people on earth to find a way to prevent him from getting the mind stone.<br/><br/>
Peter and Tony had stood side by side in front of Thanos. In front of the giant. Had been ready and willing to fight, when Thanos had looked at them with careful eyes. “Stark, Parker” he said. Almost as a greeting. As a warning, maybe. Tony just looked confused to the alien. And with that Thanos chuckled. “Your not the only one cursed with knowledge, Stark. Not that you would know, even if it where right under your nose…” Thanos took a step closer, placing one of his giant fingers on Peter’s chest. Not to bring harm, not to make him hurt. Just for it to be there. “… isn’t that right little one”.<br/><br/>
And Tony had attacked. Had thrown attack, after attack at the giant till he couldn’t anymore. All, for one drop of blood to run down Thanos cheek from a minor cut.<br/><br/>
And with that, things went to chaos. Before Peter could do anything, Thanos had several well placed hits on Tony, to a point where the armor had nothing let to repair with. Despite all Tony’s strength and power, it failed. It faltered. And as Tony formed the sword, Peter’s world went into the slowed down state. He’d seen the thing snap before it even happened. And Peter… Peter turned towards them running as fast he could. Jumping in front of Tony in last second before the sword entered Tony’s body. Leaving Tony falling to the ground from the force of the push, but safe. Safeer at the very least.<br/><br/>
The pain hits him like nothing he has ever felt before. He knew Tony suit could do damage. Knew it was dangers and differently not a toy. But he’d never been hurt by it before. He never wanted to again, if he got a choice in the matter.<br/><br/>
So Peter stumbled backwards, landing on his ass, only sitting up because of the rocks and debris behind his back. “You got my respect, Parker. When I’m done half of humanity will still be alive” Thanos reassure him, “But you already knew that, didn’t you?” Thanos smiled carefully. “I hope they remember you, and what you did for them. A true hero you could have been”. And then he lifted his hand, the gauntlet covered hand at Peter, the stone lighting up.<br/><br/>
“Stop!” Strange voice was weak, body shaking as he forced himself to his feet. “Spare his life, and I will give you the stone”. And Strange lifted his hand, letting the green stone appear between the long and index finger. Floating carefully. The green light of it glowing brighter than all the others.<br/><br/>
And Thanos let the fifth stone be united with it’s brothers and sisters. Before despairing just as suddenly as he came.<br/><br/>
Tony was standing over Peter just seconds later. “It’s okay, kiddo. This will hurt, but you have to trust me, okay?” Peter gave a sharp nod. But let Tony rips the metal sword from his body, before covering the wound with a thin layer of ice. Both knowing, it wouldn’t be enough to save him.<br/><br/>
A famous man once said, we create our own demons. But Peter already has too many to live with. So he does what he has to, lives up to his responsibility, and saves the lift of his mentor. His father.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>When the mind stone shatters, there’s silence. When the mind stone shatters, it’s too late. The mind stone did everything in it’s power, to protect. To defeat the giant. The killer, the murderer. But even the mind, has no power over time.<br/><br/>
When the mind stone is pulled from the artificial body, it feels pain for the first time. Like it felt love, and trust with Wanda by it’s side. Like it felt respected and honored, helping to defeat Ultron. Like it felt strength and growth during it’s creation way back when. When there was nothing by the stones. Pain, is the only thing it feels like. Pain, and sadness for all the loss and destruction that will soon be. That a stone alone cannot stop. That it can’t stop. That no one can stop. That nothing will ever stop. Pain and pain and pain.<br/><br/>
When the mind stone is placed in the gauntlet, it’s reunited with it’s brothers. It’s sisters. Connected to them, in a way they were never supposed to be.<br/><br/>
Mind has no power over time. It doesn’t need it. All it needs to know is that every day the sun will rise and shine over the golden fields. And every day it will fall, to make space for the moon that with it’s white lights will make the world dark, and pale. But beautiful and powerful all the same.<br/><br/>
Mind got no power over space. It doesn’t need to control where it can live, and where it will die. It just knows, that where there once where nothing, builds where created block for block. Statues of gods and of stories. A space to developed and be creative.<br/><br/>
Mind doesn’t have power over reality. Because reality can be anything and nothing. What one see as reality, another might not. Reality can be bent and broken. Young Parker did that without even trying. Didn’t attempt to take control, yet reality was sure that Parker, he could make a difference. Mind doesn’t need to know what that is. It just needs to trust that it was.<br/><br/>
Mind got no control over power. With great power comes great responsibility. But responsibility isn’t the same as power.<br/><br/>
Mind got no power over soul. Their connected in their own way, to create life and happiness for every living creature on earth. But while mind can stay strong for generations, the soul has to give in and leave an empty shell of what was behind. Mind can’t change that.<br/><br/>
Now, it’s all wrong. Their connect, their the same. No longer standing alone in protection of the universe. No longer fighting their own battles. Now their one. And forever they will now be.<br/><br/>
That isn’t because of space, or power. Not because of time or soul. It isn’t because of reality, no, no. But because of mind. And mind alone. Without the mind, there’s no imagination. No inspiration. No action and no choices. No love, or trust or fear. No flying robots in the sky, no aliens out there to fight. No, without mind, nothing would be. And so mind regrets what it can’t stop, what it can’t fix.<br/><br/>
Only the mind of a Hero can fix this. Mind knows.<br/><br/>
And with one snap, all what mind has ever known. All what mind as ever imagined… is no more. And all mind can do is watch.<br/><br/>
The captain of war, the soldier that survived what no human ever could, could only watch as his friend feel to his knees. Could only hug close a metal arm, no body, no heat leaving the body of his loved one. Nothing. All he could do was watch it happen, as it unfolded. It was already too late.<br/><br/>
And so, T’challe the king of the hidden country, could only watch in panic, as his sisters hand disappeared from his grasp. Could only hope it wasn’t a painful moment, and that she didn’t know, didn’t realize what happened.<br/><br/>
Rocket Raccoon could only beg, could only pray at the tree he’d grown to love too turned to dust. But no one could watch, as the Raccoon too feel to his knees, piece by piece. Carried away by the wind of Wakanda. No fur, no softness. Only darkness and pain.<br/><br/>
Rhodey could only call for his long-lost friend. For Sam and for Tony.<br/><br/>
And Wanda could only hold a shell of the man she once knew close. Couldn’t look into those eyes and watch the mind stones identity. It’s person. Only sobs echoed in the forest as Rhodey placed careful hands on the shoulders of the witch. The with he’d seen the love of he life die, not once. No, twice.<br/><br/>
And somewhere far away on a planet that once had bloomed, the stone could only watch as Star lord, Mantis, Drax and Nebula fell. As they looked at each other in those last moments.<br/><br/>
Could only watch as child, already hurt and broken, had to give up even more.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>“Peter, can you hear me” Echo got closer to the mic. “That’s weird, we just lose all connection to the suit”.<br/><br/>
Flash leaned over one of her shoulders, “Can you do anything about it reconnect?”.<br/><br/>
“I could try, just giv-“ but a moment Flash didn’t have. As Echo watch the dust fall to the keyboard of the computer she’d been using. She knew they’d lost. No chance of regaining contact with the boy she’d help get to space.<br/><br/>
That didn’t mean she wanted to give up. Quickly but weakly she got to her feet, only she fell. As her own body was torn apart from itself, in painful seconds.<br/><br/>
As she landed on the ground, she… she didn’t land on the ground. She landed on the platform of the machine she hours earlier had pushed Peter away from. She felt the vibrations as it activated, with the feeling of her weight on top of it. But Echo couldn’t get away. Couldn’t fight what would happen. Not just the machine, but the dusting. She couldn’t fight.<br/><br/>
So she closed her eyes, desperate to not be blinded as the machine did it’s thing.<br/><br/>
She saw the light beyond her eyes, and felt the pain slowly disappear from her body. Death. This was what death felt like. And so she laid there, begging the darkness to come. But it didn’t.<br/><br/>
With careful moves she pushed herself up, into a sitting position. Opening her eyes. But what greeted her, wasn’t the sight of a lab covered in the dust of her foster brother. No, Echo was looking at a city, smaller than New York, but not by much. It had the same style, the same feel.<br/><br/>
She didn’t know where or when. But she knew one thing, she’d left her own world behind.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>“Please don’t give up kiddo” Tony begs. He’d only just helped Peter to his feet when thing went chaos. When the kid again fell to the ground. As everyone around him, slowly and carefully turned to dust. But Tony only had eyes for the kid.<br/><br/>
Peter shakes his head with the last of his power “This is for the better. I’m okay now Tony, I have peace now” Peter mumbles, “I’ll go home to May and Ben now”.<br/><br/>
“Don’t leave me Underoos” Tony hugs him close, but it’s hard on the ground. “Don’t leave me, I can’t lose you Pete. Not you”.<br/><br/>
Peter smiles quietly at Tony, his eyes clearing up a little as he says, “I heard it. Tony. I heard it”.<br/><br/>
“Heard what kiddo? What are you-“ Tony’s voice breaks as he feels Peter’s body break between his arms. And there’s nothing any of his tech can do.<br/><br/>
“Your going to be a great dad” Peter whispers, “I know that. I felt that”.<br/><br/>
Tony shakes his head, “What are… what are you talking about kiddo?”.<br/><br/>
But it’s too late. Tony can see as the light gives out in Peter’s eyes. As he stops fighting. Let’s go. Peace, as Peter said. He found peace. But it isn’t peace to Tony as Peter’s body floats away, carried by the harsh wind of titan.<br/><br/>
Now it’s only him, and the yet again unconscious wizard.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So, Not By Blood is done. The end. Finished. And damn, that's been a journey filled with ups and downs. I did what I never though I could, and I really has nothing left to say. Video say everything. I guess.</p>
<p>https://youtu.be/QxnD3ZLtjeo</p>
<p>I would like to one last time remind you, that Not By Blood is a part of a bigger series. So if you liked Not By Blood and wants to know what comes next, it's worth a follow.</p>
<p>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1775335</p>
<p>Thank you, for reading Not By Blood!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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